Disclaimer: Still not mine.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed—I'm sorry it's been so long. I'm in a different country and I've been shockingly homesick and a bit miserable. But…after an embarrassingly long time, the next chapter!
Hope you enjoy! :)
Severus stared blankly at the painting.
"It's a bowl of fruit," he said flatly. "Seriously Lupin, you dragged us halfway around the castle to look at some tacky art?"
"Well, I wouldn't say tacky," Frank said diplomatically, giving Severus a warning look. "But I will admit that I was expecting something more…"
"More." Severus finished, tilting his head to regard Remus incredulously. "With all the build-up I was under the impression that you'd found the Chamber of Secrets or something equally as dramatic."
Frank snorted out a laugh. "Merlin Severus, there's no need to go that far!"
Remus simply smiled and gestured back at the frame. "It's not a normal painting," he said enigmatically. "Tickle the pear."
Severus could feel his eyebrows shoot up as he exchanged a bewildered glance with Frank. "Tickle the… Is that some kind of bizarre Marauder code?" he demanded suspiciously.
The way Remus was biting his lip as if trying desperately not to laugh didn't exactly fill him with confidence. If it wasn't for the fact that he knew Black and Potter had gone home for Christmas, he would have hexed him by now. As it was, he surreptitiously gripped his wand and kept a close watch.
"I swear it's not," Remus said contritely. He seemed to have got a hold of himself. "Frank," he appealed, "I'm being serious, just tickle the pear."
Of course since Frank was a Gryffindor, he was naturally inclined to do something questionable for no good reason at all, leaving Severus to hastily cast detection spells in the background. Finding nothing, he remained silent as Frank stepped up to the picture and, with a dubious look at Remus, reached out and hesitantly rubbed the pear. Immediately it squirmed and twisted, emitting high pitched giggles as Severus grabbed Frank's collar and yanked him backwards.
However the sight of the portrait swinging back distracted Severus from flaying his friend for reckless stupidity as Remus grinned at them. "Welcome," he said with a flourish, "to the Hogwarts kitchens!"
Frank absently rubbed his neck as he peered through the portrait hole with Remus. "Wow…" he breathed and Remus grinned. Hundreds of house elves swarmed around the huge space in their neat little tea-towel togas, carrying massive platters of food.
A small gasp had him looking at Severus who was staring at the scene before him in amazement. Remus frowned slightly. A pureblood should surely be used to house elves by now, even if he'd never seen quite so many before.
"Funny looking things, aren't they?" Frank remarked, watching Severus' eyes widen as one of the creatures headed towards them. "They literally live to serve."
"Hello young Masters!" the elf squeaked, bouncing eagerly in front of them. He had large watery brown eyes, a bulbous nose and huge bat-like ears. "We is very busy preparing the Christmas Feast but Dizzy will serve you! What is Masters needing?"
"Hi Dizzy," Remus said gently, "I don't know if you remember me—"
"Of course Dizzy is remembering Sir!" he interrupted, his ears quivering as he gazed adoringly at Remus. "Master Remus was so kind, he actually said please to Dizzy! And then thank you to Marsy!" He paused, looking overcome. "Dizzy thought Marsy would be walking into walls—the other elves had to sit on Marsy until she got over the shock!"
Remus shifted slightly, uncomfortable with the level of devotion shining from Dizzy's eyes. A laugh hastily turned into a cough caught his attention. Frank and Severus were looking from him to the elf by his knee in clear amusement.
"Should we give you two a moment alone?" Frank teased. He seemed a little disconcerted when Remus smiled back.
"Oh no, I'd never be so selfish," he said smoothly, turning to the elf. "Dizzy, I'm afraid to say that Frank and Severus here are…" he stretched out the pause, relishing in his companions nervousness, "…hungry."
Frank sucked in a breath as Dizzy's eyes widened with horror. Frank's reaction had made Severus tense but the Slytherin didn't seem to understand the magnitude of the situation, something which Remus filed away to ponder later.
"Remus…!" Frank pleaded but he just shot him an impish grin.
"Young Masters are hungry?" Dizzy gasped, sounding distraught. All movement around them stopped. The abrupt stillness was eerie as the question hung ominously in the air.
"Starving," Remus answered gravely.
The kitchens suddenly burst into motion again but this time the focus was his two friends. Remus kept out of the way and watched cheerfully as Frank and Severus found themselves sitting at one of the tables, surrounded by food. Absently he accepted some tea with honey from a random elf, his murmured thanks causing fat tears of joy to roll down its cheeks as it bowed itself away.
Every time they tried to extract themselves, an elf would appear with another contribution and Frank just couldn't refuse. It'd be like kicking a puppy. However, the element of surprise was fading and he knew that Severus was getting twitchy. He'd already eaten more than Frank had ever seen him eat in one sitting.
When the elves started talking about ice-cream and perhaps a nap, he knew it was time to leave. He just didn't know how. House Elves were like a force of nature when they thought a human needed care and combined with the fact that Frank hated shattering their self-esteem by saying no to an offering, usually meant that the diminutive servants walked all over him.
Severus was rather obviously fingering his wand and desperately casting not-so-subtle looks for an opening in the wall of babbling elves around them. Frank was reasonably sure that if they didn't get out soon, someone would get hexed. In fact, he was impressed that Severus had restrained himself for so long, but then there was just something about house elves. It would take a really cold-blooded person to actually be deliberately cruel to one.
Thankfully, Remus had also noticed the warning signs and finally intervened, saying they were late to dinner and had to keep an appetite. Severus moved closer to Frank as Remus herded them towards the portrait hole.
"He's laying it on a bit thick isn't he?" he murmured, as Remus assured the elves that they should have enough strength to reach the Great Hall now.
Frank shook his head. "I should have remembered that I was teasing a Marauder," he sighed ruefully. "I guess his elf fan club is off-limits."
"I heard that," Remus said dryly as the door closed behind them.
"Are they always so…" Severus struggled to find the right word, "…overwhelming?"
"Well they love serving humans but usually they're a bit more restrained," Remus assured him. "They just can't bear the thought of failing in their jobs."
Severus narrowed his eyes. "So when you said we were hungry…"
Frank snorted. "It was like someone telling you that Hogwarts was out of potions."
"It was a travesty that had to be rectified immediately," Remus finished with a satisfied smile.
Severus stared at the Gryffindor with new respect. "That was almost worthy of a Slytherin," he said wonderingly.
Frank looked at Remus anxiously but to his relief, he seemed to accept it as the complement it was rather than an insult as Sirius or James would see it as.
"A drunk, concussed first year Slytherin," Severus continued in the same admiring tone, "but a Slytherin nonetheless."
Frank rolled his eyes as Remus gave a snort of surprised laughter.
But when they finally reached the Great Hall, no-one commented on their lateness. No-one even noticed. The students were milling around the table set up at the top of the Hall, completely ignoring the vast array of foods and casting anxious glances at the tight cluster of teachers off to the side. Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.
Frank exchanged bewildered looks with Remus and Severus before leading the way over to the table. They approached a Gryffindor firstie who was practically vibrating with tension. She jumped a mile when Frank touched her shoulder and he stepped back in surprise.
"Oh! S-sorry," she blurted. "I-I didn't—it's just the shock I suppose…"
"Can you tell us what's going on?" Remus asked soothingly. "I'm afraid we were a bit late."
She glanced at Frank with a small smile and startled a little at the sight of a Slytherin voluntarily standing with two of her Housemates but focused her attention on the two Gryffindors.
"The ministry is under attack," she whispered, looking around nervously. "By Him."
Frank felt his stomach clench viciously and for a moment he thought all of the House Elves generosity would be making a return appearance.
"Him?" Severus mocked; a solid, comforting warmth at his left shoulder. "Can't you be a little more specific?"
The firstie gulped at his arctic tone but attempted a glare nonetheless. "Him," she repeated vehemently. "You know who!"
Voldemort, it had to be. Frank took a deep breath and tried to calm down. This was the Ministry they were talking about for Merlin's sake! And his mother was so often out on missions these days; she probably wasn't even in Headquarters anyway.
"Tell me everything," he said harshly.
"Frank?" Remus' concerned tones filtered through but he couldn't look away from the girl in front of him, as if that would have an impact on what she would say. She shifted on her feet in clear discomfort but Frank couldn't bring himself to say something polite and set her at ease. It was all he could do not to break into a teachers office and use their floo to get some answers.
"You'll have to excuse him," Severus interrupted smoothly, drawing the girl's attention from the way his hand kept twitching towards his wand. "He has relatives working in the Ministry. Your news…well I'd say his reaction is understandable wouldn't you?"
Frank would have spared a moment to be impressed at Severus managing to avoid a social gaffe if he wasn't ready to throttle him for wasting time. 'The Ministry's under attack…by Him.' The very criminal his mother has been tracking, someone who has to be pretty annoyed by the Auror in charge of fouling up his plans at every step.
The firstie was looking more sympathetic now, nodding at Remus who'd stepped up to the plate, coaxing the information from her with gentle smiles and quiet questions. Severus had backed off, glaring when anyone else ventured too close. Frank dimly wondered if he'd used up his politeness quota for the year. He'd feel grateful later but now he forced himself to listen as the girl told them about a silver bird, like a ghost, who'd spoken to Dumbledore with a woman's voice and called him Albus. Apparently 'that maniac' had broken into the Ministry—and the bird had asked for Dumbledore's help.
Remus quizzed the girl ruthlessly; how did the woman sound (bad), did she mention any names (just you know who), what did the Headmaster do (knock over his chair in his hurry to reach the fireplace, dig some sparkling powder out of his robes and disappear in a swirl of flames)
Eventually Remus released her and she staggered off looking wrung out and exhausted as Frank dropped bonelessly into the nearest chair. Severus and Remus sat quietly on either side of him.
"What if she's dead?" it was just a breath, hardly loud enough to pierce the worried chatter around them. Remus shot a hesitant look at Severus who just stared back without any expression at all. Frank winced as he remembered the Slytherin's vague explanation—he'd never mentioned his mother to Remus.
"My mother's an Auror," he explained, "She's the lead on the Voldemort case actually." Pride and fear battled for supremacy in that one sentence and Frank felt a leaden weight settle on his chest. "My Dad was an Auror too," he continued absently, "but he died years ago. Killed defending a child from some two-bit murderer."
Looking up he encountered Remus' understanding gaze and Severus' slightly uncomfortable one. A tiny smile twisted his lips but it soon slipped away.
"It's the Ministry, Frank," Remus said tentatively, "One of the safest places in the Wizarding world. If you had to be attacked, then it's the best place to be. The defensive wards are woven into the very walls! Not to mention that back-up's only a heartbeat away—with the amount of Aurors in there, they'll be watching each other's backs for sure."
Frank felt the weight on his chest lighten slightly.
Severus cleared his throat beside him. "Besides I've met your Mother Frank," he added awkwardly. "She looked like she could take care of herself."
Frank nodded solemnly. "She can," he stated firmly. "She's not head of her department for nothing. It's just—"
He broke off as the teachers broke up their huddle and began shooing students back to their dorms. Frank swallowed hard. "—the Ministry's supposed to be safe," he whispered. "Who would bother to be on their guard when they're at 'home'?"
Severus exchanged a helpless look with Remus over Frank's bowed head. He had no idea how to help his friend. He wished briefly but fiercely for Lily and Tuney before banishing the thought. They weren't here so it was up to him and Remus. He fought a snort of derision. Working with a Marauder, any minute now Voldemort would prance in wearing a pink tutu and declaring he was the heir of Hufflepuff.
Although Remus had proven himself to be nothing like those morons he hung out with. Apart from his obvious poor taste in friends. Casting around for something to distract Frank, he frowned.
"What was that about with the 'ghost bird'?" he demanded abruptly. "We shouldn't just take that kid's word; it sounds like she was sneaking some of Hagrid's mulled wine."
The other two looked over in surprise before Remus narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "I thought it sounded a bit like a Patronus at first, at least until she said it spoke."
Severus tilted his head slightly. He'd heard of the Patronus charm, there was a short entry in one of his mother's books. "Happy thoughts given corporeal form if a Witch or Wizard is powerful enough," he mused. "I don't see why that sprang to mind in this case."
Remus grimaced. "I know," he shrugged, "they're meant to be for warding off Dementors and they definitely don't speak but—"
"They can," Frank interrupted quietly. "It's an Auror trick."
"I've never heard of it," Remus said sounding fascinated as he leaned closer. "How?"
"Mother said Dumbledore came up with it during the war with Grindlewald and it got passed through the Auror ranks," Frank said, brightening slightly. "It's the fastest way to send messages and completely untraceable."
"That's amazing," Remus breathed, his eyes shining. Severus privately agreed, wondering whether to mention that Dumbledore had clearly invented a spell but deciding at the last moment that it probably wasn't the time.
"Boys," Professor McGonagall said sternly. Looking around, Severus saw the last of the students being escorted out of the Hall. "Time for bed."
Meeting Frank's eyes, Severus stifled a sigh. Having Gryffindor friends could be exhausting sometimes. With a forced smile for the professor, he followed Remus and Frank back to their dorm wondering how on earth Frank thought he was going to pull this off.
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