A/N: 6 drabbles written for the Section VII drabble challenge
1. Hospital Visiting
"We seem to be at an impasse," Angelique said to the Russian barring her way.
"Napoleon is going to be fine." His eyes were softer than usual.
She waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, really? I just happened to be passing the hospital. That's all."
He nodded. "I can't let you in to see him."
"I assume you're standing guard for more than me," she said, her mouth tight. "Take care of him then. If you must."
"I'll tell him you were looking for him," he called after her as she walked away.
She didn't look back.
2. Accounting Problems
"That can't be right, your expenses are higher than mine this month?"
"That's supposed to be confidential, Napoleon...give me that!"
"$480 dollars on vodka in a single night?! And accounting approved it? Illya..."
"It was very good vodka."
"It would have to be."
"You will remember that Mr Waverly wished me to surreptitiously glean information from the crew of that Russian frigate a few weeks ago?"
"Yes...?"
"It was Great Socialist Revolution Day."
"Ah. You know, at least that explains this memo that's been circulated."
"Mmm?"
"Accounting would like to respectfully suggest that you leave your liver to medical science."
3. Cultural Exchanges
"Wait," Napoleon said as Mark raised his glass for the third time. "The third toast is for the fallen."
"What?"
"The third toast is always for the fallen," Napoleon repeated. "By Russian tradition. And the fourth is a wish that none of us might join them." He was smiling but his eyes were deadly serious.
Mark could ask why an Englishman and an American drinking Italian wine in Honduras should follow Russian drinking traditions. But he wasn't going to.
"To the fallen, then. May they rest in peace."
Besides. It was a good tradition. He must remember to tell April.
4. Dancing Discussions
The woman he was dancing with was beguiling enough to turn a saint's head and Napoleon had no such natural resistance.
"You do remember our mission?" his partner asked scathingly in his ear from across the room.
He smiled unconcernedly, spinning her around dizzyingly.
"And you have noticed she is KGB?"
Of course. Really, Illya should know by now that he wasn't inclined to discriminate.
"Her name is Irina Petrovna Pichushkin. She and I were acquainted back home. Intimately acquainted. If that makes a difference to you."
Ah. Sadly it did. He brought the dance to an end with regret.
5. Delicate Manoeuvres
"Hrmph. Of course, this would all be easier if we could talk to Dr Gerasimov."
"Yes, sir."
"Unfortunately, he was killed while defecting from the Soviet Union."
"Sir."
"I have a report here which says that he and his entire family, including his three young children and his elderly mother attempted to escape through Romania but were tracked down by a KGB operative...named Illya Kuryakin."
"Yes, sir."
"Who, in a remarkably uncharacteristic move, chose to execute them all."
"Sir."
"Thereby going against not only his personal morality, but his superior's orders, risking both his career and indeed his life."
"Yes, sir."
"Odd that, wouldn't you say? Mr Kuryakin?"
"Yes, sir."
"How long would it take you to contact Dr Gerasimov?"
"Dr Gerasimov was killed while attempting to escape the Soviet Union. As you are aware, sir, anyone who helps a traitor escape is themselves committing an act of treachery which is punishable by death."
"Oh, quite, quite. I wonder though. Perhaps Dr Gerasimov might have, say, an identical twin brother who might be able to help us?"
"An identical...ah. Yes, sir. I believe he does. I shall bring him here within a few hours."
"Very good. Carry on, Mr Kuryakin."
6. Last Meetings
Napoleon could hardly hear the pilot's words over the radio. "I'm sorry Mr Solo. We're getting a lot of fire here. There's no way we're going to make it to both extractions."
Unforgivably safe back at headquarters, it was on the tip of his tongue to demand they try anyway. But they were operating in one of the places in the world where they were not supposed to be and he couldn't take that selfish chance.
Illya had more experience than Simons - he'd have a better chance of making his own escape. Wishful thinking. (He already knew Illya would never betray UNCLE under torture.)
"Napoleon."
"Go to the river," he instructed the pilot. "Pick up Simons and get out."
If he saved Illya he would always know why.
"Thank you," Illya said. "I will destroy anything that can tie me to UNCLE so this will be my last communication." A pause. "I will see you when I get back to New York, my friend."
He closed his eyes at the uncharacteristic optimism. All to make him feel better. "You'd better," he said steadily. "It's your turn to buy dinner."
There was gunfire in the distance. The connection went dead.