3/24/15-Update

Thank you for all your reviews. I know this isn't the happiest of stories so it means a lot that you guys are still enjoying it.

One thing I would like to mention though is to address a review I got last night. Don't worry it wasn't bad nor am I taking in a bad way, lol. I just want to clear some things up. It was mentioned that Rosalie and Jasper should've called home and I do agree buuut, up until Bella's last attempt at suicide, they believed that she was STILL IN Volturi Institute. Their parents never informed them of this so when they did call home, they didn't expect Bella to be there.

And one final thing, it was said that Bella has to want to get better for herself before she can start and that's completely true yet the question remains, does she really want it or does she want it because OTHERS deserve that from her?

;)

Note about silent moments: Dear readers, Silent moments is filled with triggers. From Cutting, rape, suicide attempts, and murder. I'd like to make it really clear that I do no condone any of these and I do not wish to hurt or offend anyone by writing this. It's just something that came to my head while I was going through issues. I will put this trigger at the top of each chapter, as well as several additional warnings.

"I don't understand how family could hurt you more than a total stranger could…"

Bella

How do I explain the date I had with Masen?

Hmm, let's see.

Beautiful, amazing, spectacular, incredible, wonderful, dreamlike…

Yup that seems to sum it up.

When he picked me up earlier tonight, I had no idea what to expect. I assumed that we'd go to the lodge, or maybe even go to Port Angeles for a flick or two, but I didn't expect him to rent out a dining room in the fanciest place in Port Angeles.

But he did.

And it was beautiful.

We got privacy, a great meal, and dancing.

The dancing-oh boy. We've danced together before but it wasn't anything like the dance we had tonight. It was so intense, so many emotions were swirling around us-inside me.

I wanted to scream, to cry, I wanted to tell him I love him.

I wanted to kiss him.

And I couldn't. That's how fucked up I am. I thought I could do it but when I started to lean in, I just got flashes of what happened during my very first kiss and I panicked.

And yet Masen didn't look upset or disappointed.

He told me that he'd wait forever if he had too.

I didn't deserve him.

After we ate our desert, which was so good that Masen bought me another one for the road even though I protested because of the price of the first slice, we headed to the theater.

Masen humored me and let me pay for the movie. I told him he owed me after he refused to show me the bill for our dinner. I owed him is more like it but I made sure to tell him that the next few dates would be on me.

I kind of liked that he wasn't one of those guys who fought about paying for everything. Masen was cool with both splitting bills-sans the restaurant bill-and letting me pay all together. We'd have to rotate between who paid on each date, which was fine with me.

The movie we saw was a zombie flick. It wasn't even scary, as the reviews had been hyping us for, but rather it was stupid and we found ourselves laughing through half of it-and of course getting kicked out because we were disturbing people.

After that, we grabbed some hot chocolate and stood on the pier until we were too cold to do it anymore-which was five minutes in my case because of this damn dress.

And then, sadly, he took me home. It wasn't too late when we got back to Forks but technically if I were to have had a curfew I would've probably broken it.

No surprise that the lights were all on when we pulled up to my house, but Phil was gone so that was a plus at least. I could only hope that he took my so called mom with him.

"Thank you for going out with me tonight, blue." Masen smiled down at me as we stood on my doorstep.

"Thank you for wanting to go out with me," I giggled. "I had an amazing time."

"So about that second date…"

"Would tomorrow be too soon?"

"I'll pick you up at ten."

I grinned at him, "Sounds like a plan."

"What would you like to do?"

"It's my turn to surprise you," I teased. "You'll just have to wait and find out." Which roughly translated into 'I had no idea what I was planning on doing yet'.

He pouted, flashing me his smoldering jade eyes but I refused to back down. "See you tomorrow."

"Alright, see you tomorrow, blue."

We stared at each other for a couple seconds. I drew my bottom lip between my teeth as I weighed the pros and cons of trying to kiss him again. I didn't want to send him off thinking he just made sure that I had a panic attack tonight but I really wanted to do it.

Why did I have to be so damaged?

Masen must have sensed my inner turmoil and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek, inches from the corner of my mouth.

"Goodnight, blue. Sweet dreams."

"G-goodnight."

With that, I turned and stumbled into the house.

So it wasn't the full kiss that I wanted but it still made me tingle. Not only that but it made me feel happy. But I'm always happy when I'm around Masen.

"Bella?" Rosalie called out sleepily.

"Yeah it's me," I ditched those red deathtraps she called heels by the door and padded into the living room. Jasper was knocked out face down in his school book while Rosalie furiously tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes. "No don't get up. Just go to sleep," I coaxed.

She could drill me about what happened on my date tomorrow.

"Mkay, Gnite."

"Goodnight," I replied as I heard a loud thump from upstairs.

I guess my mom is still here.

Whatever, I wasn't about to let her room my mood.

Or so I thought.

As I climbed the stairs, the thumps and loud curses became louder. I was all for ignoring her, and I would've, but then I saw that Elle's door was open and the loud thumps were coming from in there.

I approached the door hesitantly, not sure about what I was going to find.

I pushed the door open with a shaky hand and gasped as I found my mom tearing apart Elle's things. It looked like she had been in here a while. The bed, while unmade before, was flipped over and missing the blankets and pillows. Elle's drawings had been torn off the walls and all the clothes tore out of the closet.

Stuffing made a trail from the doorway to where my mother stood stabbing into Elle's favorite bunny rabbit.

"What are you doing?!" I screamed, running over to her. "Stop it!" I grabbed the bunny and tried to pull it away from my mother. "Let it go!"

"You let go," she sneered. "I bought this, I can do what I-"

"Dad bought this for her! Let it go now!?" I screamed. "Please," I nearly sobbed out as she continued to try to stab the toy-even with my hands so dangerously close.

I jerked back with all my weight and ripped the toy out of her hands. The bunny's ear was missing but other than that it was still in tact. I could fix the ear, I know I could.

Mom just grunted as I scrambled to find the ear and picked up another toy. It was the toy that Elle had once given to me after I had a bad dream-I had watched a movie I wasn't supposed to because as I was told it would give me nightmares and well that's what I did.

Elle heard me scream and came into my room with her pet dinosaur and gave it to me while also cuddling up so that I wouldn't be scared anymore.

"No!" I shrieked, diving for it.

The knife sunk into the toy and she pulled hard, cutting the head of the green stuffed animal. She then tore out the stuffing as she glowered at me with a smirk, as if daring me to do something.

I fell to my knees and cried out.

This was all I had left of Elle, all my good memories were in here. And she was tearing it all apart! Why did she hate me so much?

"Stop it!" I sobbed as she grabbed another. The knife diving deep into the fabric felt like it was another cut in my heart. I screamed out again.

"Bella!" I heard someone yell.

Mom turned toward Elle's picture wall. It held all her pictures of herself as well as her favorite pictures of herself with family, namely me and her.

I snapped.

I lunged at my mother, knocking the knife out of her hands. We both fell onto the floor, the knife lay buried in the pile of untouched stuffed animals.

"Get off," mom ordered

But all I saw was red.

I could feel the rage filling me up and for once, I didn't push it away. My hand balled into a fist and before I knew it, my fists were smashing into my mother's face.

"I hate you!" I screamed. "How dare you do this?"

How dare she touch Elle's things? She had no business to do this to me, to her memory. Didn't she care at all!? About any of us? The more I thought about it, the angrier I got and the harder I hit.

My mom hit me back a couple times, I could taste blood but I fought back harder.

"You stupid bitch," I spat.

My shrieks were nearly muffled by my mother's screams and eventually her sobs.

I heard a sickening crack but that didn't stop me.

"Bella!"

Two muscly arms wrapped around my waist and yanked me off my mother. Her nose was bleeding pretty badly and she already had a black eye forming, probably, a couple bruises on her cheek. Her lip was busted up pretty badly too and she had some blood dribbling out.

Yet I wanted to hurt her more…

I fought against Jasper's grip.

"Bella, stop, stop it!"

"Look what she did," I jerked in his grasp. "I'll kill her!"

"I'm calling the police," my mom spit as she stumbled to her feet. "You're done here. I refuse have you here anymore-"

I screamed angrily and lunged for her again. She ducked out of the way and snuck around Rosalie.

Once she was out of my sight, my struggling stopped and the angry ebbed away. Instead, I was left with so much pain and sadness. Jasper didn't let me go as my legs gave out and I started to sink to my knees.

"Elle," I sobbed, picking up the pieces of her torn apart toys. "I'm so sorry."

Jasper rocked me back and forth as I held what was left of some of her favorite toys.

I'm so sorry, elle.

I couldn't protect you.

I'm sorry.

I don't know how long I stayed on that floor but eventually, we weren't the only ones in that room anymore. My mom truly had called the police and now I had a sorrowful looking deputy Marks staring down and saying something.

I couldn't hear him.

Jasper was saying something to him as well but I tuned it out. I needed to get some thread and a needle. I had to fix her toys. I know I can, it'll take some time because I've never sewn anything like this before but how hard is it to learn.

"Bella, bella, bella!" Deputy marks grabbed my hand and I flinched. "Bella, you have to come with us."

Even in the state that I was in, I knew that I was in trouble.

"Don't cuff her," I heard Rose sniffle as I was forced onto my feet. "Please, she won't fight."

"It's part of the-"

"Out of respect for Charlie, don't." Jasper begged.

I didn't get handcuffed but I still was marched downstairs, past my smug looking mother, and into the police cruiser. The neighbors were outside and everything-no doubt the sirens and the red and blue lights flashing drew the crowd in.

I didn't look at any of them.

I was upset by the fact that I couldn't take Elle's bunny with me. He wouldn't let me. I wanted to scream at him, hit him, but I knew that I'd get in more trouble for assaulting a cop.

So I played good and went with.

At the station, I had my mugshot taken-a first for me-and then placed in a cell while I waited for-I don't even know. I've never been to jail before. Even back when I was into the hardcore drugs, I never once got caught-though I had several close encounters.

It was much like being in solitary confinement at the hospital though. I was in a dark and damp cell with a lumpy cot that was nailed into the wall and an itchy blanket.

Much like solitary confinement at the hospital, I was left to feel the sharp pains and sadness.

I sat there for a really long time. I honestly couldn't tell you how much time passed. I image that it was morning at some point because officer Andrews brought me back some food but other than that I wasn't sure.

I didn't speak, I didn't eat.

I just sat staring at the wall wondering how a night could go from fairytale like to horrific in five seconds flat.

That's my life though.

It can never stay steady, it's one extreme or its another.

I knew that I didn't deserve the treatment from Masen and I had to be reminded of that. I'm allowed temporary happiness at the price of long-term pain. I've known this for years but thanks to Masen, I've let my walls crash down far too often.

I couldn't be mad at him though.

He's helped me far more than he's hindered me. This is all my fault. If I wasn't so fucked up, none of this would've happened. We could've had a great date, I could've kissed him, and come home and gossiped to my mom and sisters…

"Bella."

I looked up and through the thick metal bars.

"You're free to go."

Just like that?

I slipped down from the cot and eyed him suspiciously as if he was about to say 'just kidding' and slam the door in my face. He didn't. He let me out and tried to steer me toward the front-I flinched away from his touch so he just pointed to the large locked door at the end of the small cell block.

"Blue!"

I didn't have a chance to see anyone else before Masen rushed at me and pulled me into his tight grip. I dug my fingers into his shirt and sobbed out.

"Ssh, baby, it's okay."

It wasn't though.

"I'm here."

And for once, he couldn't make the pain go away.

"Yes, yes, what a lovely reunion. Now let's go, Isabella," Phil snapped. I peered around Masen with watery eyes to see that Alice, Esme, Rosalie and Jasper, and Phil had come.

"Shut the fuck up." Masen snapped, seizing my face between his hands. He examined my face and I saw his expression grow darker by the second. His thumb rubbed across my bottom lip and I flinched at the pain.

I haven't even seen the damage my mom had done but I doubt it was as bad as the damage I had inflicted on her.

"She's coming home with us, and you're not." Phil grabbed my arm and I whimpered.

"Get your hands off her!" Masen thundered.

"Edward," Esme soothed, getting between Phil and Masen. "Control your temper." Phil, while Esme tried to calm Masen, managed to pull me from his grasp and lead me toward the door.

"Say goodbye to your little boyfriend. You won't be seeing him again," he hissed at me.

I glanced back at Masen in panic.

"Blue!" he yelled but Esme, and Deputy Marks, were blocking his way.

"We'll drive her home." Jasper tried to free me from Phil's grasp.

"I'll be driving her, you two can share your rental." Phil forcefully stuffed me into the car and made sure Jasper and Rosalie didn't try to get me out before he climbed in himself.

Instead of following Jasper and Rosalie back toward the house, he turned toward Port Angeles.

"We're going on a little trip."

I shivered, not liking the sound of that one bit.

"That little stunt you pulled last night with your mother was an embarrassment. The whole town was talking about it before sun rise! Do you know how we look?"

"She was tearing up-"

"I don't care what she did. You know she's just as much of a fuck up as you. You should've just ignore her." He growled. "So you're going to be punished. I can't watch two of you loonybins at once so-"

We pulled to a stop at the 'Welcome to Forks' sign. But we weren't the only people that were stopped and parked there.

A big white van with the words 'Volturi' in elegant script on the side waited.

"No." I whispered. "Please, please." I whimpered as the larger of the two nurses started toward the car. "Please! Don't do this."

Phil ignored me and got out of the car to talk to the guys waiting for us.

I sobbed out and curled in on myself. I didn't want to go back there, they'll kill me for sure this time. Memories of the first time I was there flashed violently through my head and I cried out.

"Let's go, Bella."

"Phil, please."

He ignored me but when I showed no signs of getting out of the car, he nodded to the men and they yanked my door open.

"No!" I screamed as I was nearly dragged from the car. "Please, please, please" I sobbed and flailed wildly in their grip as they tried to get me toward the van. "I'll do anything, please."

"Stop," Phil commanded, uncrossing his arms. He came over to me and leaned down so that he was eye to eye with me. "What did you say?"

"I'll do anything." I promised tears trailing down my cheeks. "Just don't let them take me back there."

"Do you promise?" I nodded quickly. "When you get home, you'll apologize to your mother and go straight to your room. I don't want to hear a single peep from you when you're in my presence or your mothers. You'll eat in your room, and only be let out for school and to see that little cunt of a counselor."

"Okay," I whispered.

"And one last thing-" I already knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth. "You won't be talking to that boy ever again, am I clear? I'll watch you, Bella. Don't think I won't."

I whimpered.

I don't think I could survive without Masen.

But I couldn't go back to Volturi.

Either way I lost, either way I would surely die.

"Am I clear?"

"Yes." I cried.

And just like that, the men let me go and Phil shoved me back toward the car. I quickly climbed back into the car-this time in the backseat-and wrapped my arms tightly around myself as I gasped and gagged.

I could feel the familiar dark emptiness creeping up on me and for the first time in weeks, I couldn't keep it away.

It snarled like an angry monster and grabbed me, pulling me under before I could even try to fight it.

So, uh, I'll just step away and dodge all the potential rotten fruit/ vegetables that are probably being tossed my way. Leave me a review to let me know how you guys feel about what happened, even if you're ready to murder Bella's parents like Masen is surely plotting to do.