It's a small world...
(Rookie Blue Inspired Fiction)
Chapter 26
A/N - The story continues... A x
Gail buried herself in her work and the band for the next three weeks, avoiding anything which had even the slightest chance of meaning she would bump into Holly. She spent her days lost in the paperwork and the fresh eyes and enthusiasm of new recruits; teaching them the proper protocols, maneuvers and stances. She began rehearsals with the newly reformed Military Brass Band; learning tunes from different genres and preparing for the upcoming parade. She rehearsed with the 'Military Misfits' for their upcoming gig at the Black Penny, taking on new songs into their repertoire. She even spent time with Leo, teaching him new songs on his guitar and beating him in several different video games. She did everything she could to not have to think, for even a moment, about Holly and her rejection. However, no matter how hard she tried, in the dark of night, when alone with her own thoughts, Gail cried for her love, for the best friend and lover she lost. She cried until she passed out with exhaustion, then got up and repeated it all the next day. This pattern repeated day after day, week after week. Gail had resigned herself to the knowledge that no matter how much time passed, her heart would never stopped breaking.
Gail stood outside the door to the Black Penny, staring up at it's red and black painted exterior and for the first time in about a month, she was anxious. Gail never got nervous before a gig; no matter how many times the band performed. Tonight was different. Tonight was the first time since the rejection that Gail could possibly bump into Holly and that thought alone terrified her to the very core. Taking a deep breath, shaking away the overwhelming anxiety, Gail straightened the leather jacket hanging from her shoulders and pushed her way into the bar.
The Penny was packed to the rafters; as would be expected on a Friday night. As Gail scanned the crowd, she noted the gang from 15 filling three tables; Steve, Traci, Andi, Sam, Dov, Chloe, Oliver, Celery, Nick, Chris and a smattering of others were chatting and laughing, beers in hand. Gail wandered towards them as she entered, waving a hand to her bandmates who were already setting up on the makeshift stage.
"Gail!" Steve exclaimed, standing from his chair to hug his sister.
"Alright bro, how's tricks?" Gail responded doing her best to act with more bravado than she felt.
"Well you know how it goes sis, catching the bad guys by day, pints at the Penny by night." Steve smiled. Gail smiled back at him; she felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for her 15 division family.
"Well I best get to the boys, tune up and all that. I'll see you guys on the break." Gail winked at Traci as she wandered over to the stage.
"You ready for this Colonel?" Reg asked as she approached.
"As ready as I'll ever be" she replied.
Bang on 7pm, the Military Misfits started their set; banging out classics from 'Hooked on a Feeling' by Blue Swede to 'Mustang Sally' by Wilson Pickett. Gail sang her heart out but even she could feel that she wasn't giving her all to it, not like she usually does. The band were between songs, Gail stopping for a moment to grab a drink of water, when she spotted something which caused her to freeze on the spot. She watched as Holly entered The Black Penny. She watched as the love of her life breezed into her presence without even noticing her standing on the stage. She watched as Holly turned behind her to another woman. She watched as Holly reached out to this other woman, pulling her to her, whispering in her ear, making the woman laugh. She watched as Holly leaned in and lightly pecked the woman's lips. Gail felt like her heart was being wrenched out from within her. Behind her, Reg watched too as his friend's heart was brutally stomped on. Steve, too, had noticed the anguish on his sister's face and turned to see what had caused it. He watched Holly, pure anger filling him from his toes. Traci glanced to Gail, nothing but empathy in her expression. Gail knew she should ignore it. Ignore her completely and continue on with the set as planned. She couldn't do that. To do nothing, would be to send Holly the message that this was okay. That it was okay to bring her latest fling to her gig as if nothing had ever happened. That it was okay for her to be so unnecessarily cruel.
Gail turned away from the sight; hot, angry tears streaming down her face and took a deep breath. She saw the guys, looking to her for some sort of sign as to what she wanted to do. She looked at Reg and he seemed to read the anger in her eyes.
"What do you want to do Gail?" He asked. The ball was in her court.
"We play on. I'm going to mix up the setlist though. Think you guys can keep up?" Gail spoke. Her voice stronger than she thought it would be.
"We got your back". Gail nodded her thanks. This was her opportunity and tonight, music would be the vessel for Gail's anguish.
Taking another drink of her water, then placing the bottle at her feet. Gail stood up to the mic once more. "Thank you everyone! You've been a truly great audience. This next song goes out to someone who is here tonight. I want them to truly listen to the lyrics. I hope they understand" Gail turned to the rest of the band, informing them of her choice before the opening notes sounded across the bar. Gail scanned the crowd for Holly; she allowed all of the things Holly said to her, all of the things she had been blocking from her mind for the last couple of weeks to fill her, as she locked eyes with the woman. Then she began to sing:
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
Gail looked at Holly as she sang. She watched the different emotions cross Holly's face; confusion, realisation, sadness, sorrow, anger. She watched as Holly tried to distract herself from the performance on the stage with the woman next to her, but it seemed that Holly's companion too was enraptured by Gail's heartbreaking performance.
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
The bar was silent apart from the band. The bar had stopped serving as everyone; bartenders and patrons alike were enthralled by the raw emotion and power in Gail's voice. Gail poured her all into the song. This was her way to show Holly exactly how she felt after being rejected by her, exactly how she felt to have her most vulnerable admission thrown back in face like a scorned woman throwing a pint in the face of a cheating ex.
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)
(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody.
The silence which followed the last note of the song was overwhelming. Slowly the bar were roused from their daze by the slow accumulation of applause. Gail felt exhausted. Her heart had just been displayed in front of at least a hundred people and she was spent. Finally looking away from Holly, Gail looked to the tables of 15 and saw the pride all over Steve and Oliver's faces and knew that it was worth it.
The rest of the Military Misfits' set was filled with songs which told Holly the story of Gail's emotions. She sang everything from 'Alone' by Heart to 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morissette. The entire set, Gail looked to Holly in the crowd and began to realise just how little she must have meant to her for this to be how things turned out. However, there was only one person in the Black Penny that night who knew the truth, who knew that Holly did care for Gail, cared a lot more than she wanted to admit. If only, Gail knew, before it was too late.