Okay. I don't want to make excuses, but trust me when I say I have a good reason for dropping off the radar. And now I have some decisions to make. When I first got involved in fanfic I started posting stories before I'd finished writing them, and while that worked for a time I quickly got ahead of myself. Which means I have piles of unfinished stories, and I'm not sure I'll be able to finish all of them.
I want to, believe me, but it's hard trying to get back into the headspace I was in when I started writing each story. But I don't want to leave everyone hanging. So I'm going to post this chapter and see how it goes. If people are still reading I'll do my best to finish off the story, which only has a few more chapters to go anyway. But if you guys gave up - and I would absolutely understand if you had, it's been ages since I last updated - then I'll cut my losses and delete the story.
I know this sounds extreme, but I don't see the point in leaving a story up if it's never going to be finished. And this isn't some trick to get reviews; I genuinely want to know if it's worth finishing this story, or if I should just leave it and move on. So if you're still reading, please let me know. Once again I apologize for my ridiculous absence; it won't happen again.
And now, have a chapter.
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Toby stared at the message, sure he must have missed something. It had been over a week since he'd heard from A, and a couple of days since he'd last heard from Spencer. She'd warned him that she was about to get busy, and not to worry if she dropped out of contact for a while, and while he appreciated the warning, it hadn't stopped him from doing just that. They hadn't really spoken since he'd told her about Hanna, and he still wasn't sure how she felt about it. He debated straight-out asking her, but he didn't want to make her feel cornered. And, he admitted to himself, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.
He had begun to think that A was finished with them, but as if to prove that they weren't, here was a message. It was more detailed than usual, and he realized that this was because it was from the Advisor, not from Mona. He was to pick Spencer up and drive her to the lair. And on the way, he was meant to tell her about his grudge against Aria.
He was reasonably sure that this was A's subtle way of letting him know that they knew he had told Spencer about Hanna, but it didn't seem like a retaliation or a punishment – more like a continuation. Like he'd set his feet on this path and A wanted him to continue down it. For whatever reason, A wanted Spencer to know the truth, and who was Toby to argue?
When he showed up on her doorstep twenty minutes later she didn't seem surprised, which suggested that she'd been made aware of his visit. She even had a backpack with her, which he knew contained her A-Team uniform. In silence they made their way to the car, and the silence persisted until they were well away from her house.
Then she turned to him and said simply, "A said you had something to tell me. Something about Aria?"
"Yeah." Toby glanced over at her, but her expression – or lack thereof – gave nothing away. "A said to tell you… what Aria did. Or rather, what she didn't do."
He noticed that Spencer's lip tightened into a fine line, which was enough to indicate how she felt about the last time he'd opened up like this. But orders were orders and he needed to follow them. She nodded, encouraging him to go on.
"Back when Jenna…" He paused, swallowed, and went on. "Back when she was doing what she was doing to me, there was an instance when… well, when Aria saw."
Spencer was looking out the window, but he saw the corner of her mouth twitch. She didn't speak.
"She knew what was going on, and she didn't try to stop it," he went on, needing Spencer to understand. "She talked to Ali about it, but Alison told her not to do anything about it. So she didn't."
Spencer turned to him now, light glinting in her eyes and her mouth still in a tight line. "So you want to torture her because she saw Jenna manipulate you one time?"
This was exactly what Toby was scared of, and he felt a flicker of fear at the thought that he might be about to lose Spencer. She was looking at him like he'd stepped over a line, and he hurried to come back across it. "It wasn't just one time," he said. "It was a few times. And I actually… I tried to ask for help once."
Spencer's mouth twitched again, and this time she accompanied it by tapping a staccato rhythm on the door handle. "And?"
"She said it was none of her business," Toby said quietly. "She told me to fix the problem myself."
Neither of them spoke again until they reached the lair. Toby deliberately stayed silent, giving Spencer a chance to work through things in her mind. This information, if she believed it, would change how she felt about Aria, maybe even change her motivation for staying on the team. And if she didn't believe it, then it could mean that she could justify walking away from the team, and he didn't want to even consider what would happen if she did that.
"Thank you for telling me," Spencer said quietly, and before Toby could even ask if she was okay with it, she added, "We have a meeting to get to."
Taking her cue, he didn't talk about it as they walked up to the front door. Mona gave them a wide smile when she opened the door, which was enough to arouse Toby's suspicion. Something told him that this wasn't going to be an ordinary meeting, and his suspicions were confirmed when Mona opened the door to the back room and Toby saw that there were other people sitting at the table.
One of them was Noel, which wasn't a surprise, even though he hadn't heard from his correspondent since before he joined the A-Team himself. The other person in the room, however, caused Toby to do a double-take. Caleb was sitting calmly at the table, sipping a cup of coffee and looking up at the newcomers from under his black hood.
Black hood. The symbol of the A-Team. Caleb was on the A-Team. The thought settled into Toby's mind, but he pushed it away while he explored other options, other reasons that might explain why Caleb was here. Coming up with none, he circled back to the original. Caleb was on the A-Team.
"Close your mouth, Cavanaugh, or flies will get in," Mona said, taking her customary seat a what now constituted the head of the table.
Toby managed to force his legs to work and followed her lead, sitting down beside Spencer in their usual seats. After the initial lingering look, just to make sure he hadn't jumped to conclusions, Toby now refused to look at Caleb. It wasn't so much that Caleb was on the A-Team – it was that he hadn't told him. That was what bothered him. While Mona introduced the meeting, Toby delved deeper into his feelings, and realized that that wasn't quite it either.
It wasn't that Caleb was on the A-Team, or that he hadn't told Toby. It was the fact that Toby had never even considered the possibility. He had thought that Caleb was a stand-up guy, a good boyfriend to Hanna, a good friend to the other girls. And yet here he was. And so was Toby.
"Now that we're all acquainted, it's time to get down to business," Mona announced. "I want to have the final plan ready for action by next week. Before I plan everyone's parts in it, I need to make sure of where you all stand. So I'm giving you this opportunity to negotiate. Tell me what you want, and I'll tell you if I can give it to you."
She dipped her head to Noel, who answered without hesitation. "Free rein," he said simply. "I want to be able to do what I want, without fear of… certain people being upset by it."
Mona considered this, and then nodded. "Fine. Caleb?"
He took longer to answer, but when he did, his voice was just as sure. "I want you to guarantee Hanna's safety."
This also took longer for Mona to process, but eventually she agreed. "Okay. Noel, Hanna is off limits. Caleb, if you do what I tell you to do, she'll be safe. Is that okay?"
Caleb nodded, looking relieved, and then Mona turned to Spencer and Toby. "And you two?"
Toby took his time thinking about it. Part of him wanted to request something similar to Noel – free rein, the ability to act with autonomy. But that might be enough to scare Spencer away, assuming he hadn't already done so, and he didn't want to do that. So he thought about why he'd joined the A-Team in the first place, and there was his answer. "I want you to guarantee that both Spencer and I will be safe," he declared.
Spencer looked up at him, startled, but Mona seemed to expect it. "Spencer?" she prompted, turning to her. "Is that what you want as well?"
There was a silence that seemed to stretch forever, and Toby found himself second-guessing every decision he'd made up until this point. Then Spencer said, "Yes, that's what I want."
Mona smiled, snakelike, somehow both reassuring and intimidating, and then she said, "That's fine. You two will be safe." She turned to the group as a whole, her grin widening with every word. "So it's time to get started."
Toby found himself smiling too, all his doubts melting away. This was what he'd been waiting for.
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Again, I'm really sorry, and I hope you all understand where I'm coming from with this. Let's see how this goes...