They waited and watched for three more days. Sarah never responded to any of them. Robynn went back and forth between hysterical and silent. Jason didn't say much, but did most of his talking to his partner while his daughter was asleep at different intervals of the day and night. Jason sure as hell refused to sleep. Most of his words was gibberish from the impending grief, but it all made sense. The rest of the family made preparations in feign attempt to make the end result as painless as possible. They knew for a fact that Jason had an idea of where he wanted her buried and he spent the time walking the extra mile or so to dig the hole. It was a long three days.
In a brief moment, when none of them were looking, (Robynn asleep, Jason accidentally falling asleep, Damian digging, Dick and Bruce getting the logistic figured out of their make shift service) Robynn stopped breathing. Jason woke up first and felt Sarah's cold hand and he knew. Judging from the lack of physical disturbance around her body he knew she went peacefully which was something he never knew he wanted. What can you expect from a guy who died via explosion? Jason pushed the inevitable emotional lump in his throat down and woke Robynn first. He told his daughter that happened and waited for the implosion of grief. He was going to be there for her first and foremost. She was all he had of Sarah now and he was going to care for her better than he did for his partner. There was guilt but he pushed that to the side. Again and again he told himself that he would take care of himself later. It would add up later, but that was something he had done his whole life. He learned to manage for the sake of others.
Robynn tried to keep it all in as much as she could. If her father could do it she could too.
The rest of the family took care of the rest, Jason dictating very little details, and Robynn went through with the motions.
/ / /
The weather the next day actually fit the scene. There was no mocking sun light in the afternoon and there was a little mist in the air. They dressed in their best dark hues albeit they didn't own much since the last funeral they had was when Tim offed himself and that was long ago. There were no speeches or real service, but a few goodbyes and the headstone being placed. Sarah was buried in a casket that Bruce found at a funeral parlor in the ruins, unused of course. She was facing east which was coincidental when Dick and Damian filled the rectangular hole. After all was said and done, they returned to the manor. Dick, Damian, and Bruce attempted to go back to a new normal, a quiet one that harkened back to before Sarah came through their doors. Jason waited for the time to be right for him to do his own grieving, after Robynn, which he hoped he would forget and never have to, but he was prepared for a long wait.
/ / /
A month passed and the days were getting a little cooler. Another month passed and it was fall. The fall routine changed a little with the frequency of the trips to the ruins going down (with no need to hunt to for migraine meds) and the work load for cold weather preparations for each family member being added now with Sarah gone. Robynn did a lot more canning each day with a higher yield that Damian produced. Dick took up a little more hunting. Jason and Bruce worked on upping the security of the estate even though they were sure that no one would be breaking in again any time soon. Talia's forced entry brought back some old school paranoia.
/ / /
Winter came and it wasn't a quiet one. The weather was rough to say the least and cabin fever hit hard. Sure it was a big house, but they were all ready to rip out each other's throats. Jason's ability to hold down what he had been storing since Sarah's death was coming out piece by piece with every snap, curse, and bit of sarcasm. He snapped at Robynn after she dropped a jar of canned tomatos to which she called him a big ass hole for it. No one wanted to be around each other. This never happened before when Sarah was around. She was the great mediator.
Robynn stayed in the piano room during daylight hours. She read, she played, and sometimes she would sneak a glass or two of heavy liquor she found in the ruins and never told Jason about back before the snow came. It helped her sleep the really long days away when everyone's mood was, well, shitty.
It had been a particularly bad day in January when Jason had gotten into it with Damian about the possible trip into the city to yank from insulation from one of the suburban houses to reline the kitchen walls. Damian said he could feel the cold air seep in from the back wall and Jason told him to man up and deal with it until spring. Dick went on Damian's side and said he wasn't going to risk it with an already weak power system keeping the manor warm. Bruce suggested closing off some of the rooms on the east wing, but Jason snapped at the idea. The reason wasn't because that was where Robynn dwelled, but it was unsaid that Jason wanted it to be as it was because it would have been like Sarah was still there. Robynn tried to keep herself out of the arguments, but their decisions affected her just as much and she wanted in on the decisions.
On this day she didn't say much. She agreed with her father because she was sentimental, but she was also practical about their survival. The past few months she had grown more aware of mortality and in those months she began to secretly drink. She thought she was good at hiding it too. This argument she unwillingly got caught in the middle and was happy that when she did she was feeling fairly buzzed from the grouse. She shrugged as a response to each side's questions.
After a little bit more fighting and raised voices she quietly got up and returned to the piano room. She pulled out some Chopin and took pulls at the remaining grouse sitting on top of the piano. Piano and alcohol were her escape. She was convinced that the combination made her great, just like her mother. She couldn't hear her mistakes. She didn't see the damages. It was like her specified alone time before her world crashed down.
A few more pulls and she got pedal happy, played and added musical liberties (something her mother hated), and took a few more pulls. Robynn knew the risks of drinking like this but it took the pain away and she kept going. She didn't want to feel any more but she liked how it felt to be passed out and not dealing with anything.
She pulled on the last of the grouse dropped the bottle on the floor. She turned and slid off the bench to the floor. She welcomed the darkness and unfeeling. It was better this way.
It's going to get dark and it's probably going to speed up a little bit from here on out. I am currently working two jobs (sometimes I work doubles), finishing what's left of my degree, and looking for a real job so be patient. This will be done before the end of the summer (I hope). Leave a review. I miss them. Let me know what you want.