Well so much for lots of chapters. Between work, life, and not feeling well I've barely managed this chapter. Hope you enjoy it tho! xoxo
(xxxxx)
A week had flown by. Spencer had been released from the hospital as expected on that Tuesday. Emily insisted on staying with him while he fully recovered, which was alright with Spencer. He had already been considering asking her to move in with him before this debacle side tracked it. Spencer was settled on the couch with a cup of coffee, while Emily sat nearby with a cup of tea.
"It's nice to be home," Spencer sighed. He was moving stiffly because of the stitches and pain in his neck.
"I'm glad to have you home. I was truly afraid you …" she trailed off.
"I'm sorry," he said reaching over to give her hand a squeeze.
She gave him a half smile. "I know."
"So, I never got to ask you, when did you find out about the baby?" Spencer asked as he took another sip of his coffee.
"Well, I had my suspicions the night of the incident with the candlestick," she started. Spencer turned to face her more, looking very interested. "While we were having sex that night, I noticed that anytime you touched my breasts it kinda hurt. I didn't really think much of it, because you kept me plenty distracted."
She stopped to smile at him and he returned the smile shyly.
"The day after you left for Las Vegas, to take your Mom back to Bennington, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. By the time I got out of bed, I had to race to the bathroom. I still didn't think anything of it as I had been feeling off for about two weeks. I assumed the stomach bug finally caught up with me.
What finally triggered the thought in my mind was about 20 minutes after I threw up, I was starving. I thought that was odd. There was no way I had recovered that quickly from a bug and I hadn't eaten anything the night before that would cause me to get sick.
Then it hit me. Like a slap in the face. I checked my calendar and saw that I was already three weeks late. I hadn't even realized it between everything going on. I was never very regular anyway since I started this job. The stress fucks with your cycle badly. I went to the store and purchased a test and took it that morning.
Honestly, when I saw the two lines I was in shock, but … I felt really … excited. I started to worry about your reaction to all of this and of course, thought about what this meant for our jobs. But my happiness for this baby was more powerful than those fears."
As she told this story, Spencer noticed that her hands were laying on her belly, gently rubbing. He smiled at the gesture and looked up at her sparkling eyes.
"I suppose we have a lot of things to talk about, but I hope you know that I'm very excited about our child as well. I have my moments that I'm terrified, but knowing I have you by my side makes me feel stronger," he said running his bandaged hand across her bare leg.
She smiled at him before scooting closer to his side. She gave him a gentle kiss before snuggling into his arms. Her head on his chest.
"So, how did you know about the baby? Did you see the test or something?" Emily asked.
Spencer cleared his throat as he placed his coffee cup down. Emily noticed that he seemed uncomfortable, so she sat up and looked at him. He rubbed his hands down his khaki pants nervously.
"What is it?" Emily said furrowing her brow.
"I know this is going to sound crazy, but it's true," he said. "Do you remember when we talked about our death experiences?"
Emily nodded.
"How I saw a bright light and felt warm?"
She nodded again.
"This time I walked to the light and when I was through I was at this beautiful place. There were people everywhere and everyone was so happy and peaceful. I mean, you couldn't just see how happy everyone was, you could feel it too. There was no sun, but it was bright as day.
Everything was perfect. The water, the grass, the dirt. Nothing in this place had a flaw. There is truly no other word to describe that place other than perfection. I felt a calm I had never felt before. I didn't want to leave," he said zoning out as he imagined this place.
"So, what happened?" Emily asked shakily.
"I saw her. She was sitting on a bench reading a book," he began.
"Maeve," Emily said barely above a whisper.
Spencer looked at her and nodded.
"We talked for a while and I apologized for not being able to save her, but she just smiled at me and said it was where she was meant to be," he said licking his lips. "Emily, there were horses there. I rode a horse and it was as if I had ridden them my entire life."
Emily stared wide eyed at him, her mouth slightly open. "The baby," she whispered as she felt herself choking up.
"I know, I know. I'm getting to that. We got to this field and I saw an Orange flower. I got off the horse and went over to pick it. I gave it to Maeve and I gave her a hug –"
"Are you kidding me, right now?" Emily snapped.
Spencer looked over at her stunned. Her eyes were filled with tears, her nose flared, and she was biting her lip. Signs that she was trying to fight back her feelings.
"Wait, it's not –" he said as Emily stood up.
"It's not what Spencer? It's not a big deal? While I sat by your side as you were dying, you were in some, I quote 'perfect' place with the love of your life! Do you think I want to hear this? All I wanted to know is how you knew about our baby. I did not want to know that you spent the worst moments of my fucking life frolicking in a perfect field with your perfect ex-girlfriend," Emily said as she turned and stormed towards the bedroom.
Spencer ran after her. He palmed the door she tried to slam shut, but didn't make it to the bathroom that slammed and locked in front of him.
"Emily, please let me finish," he pleaded.
"Sure, Spencer. Continue the story of how you wanted to stay where you were because you were happy. Happy with perfection and Maeve," she said angrily.
He ducked his head in regret. He could hear the pain in her voice and knew she was crying.
"Em, I'm sorry. I didn't think through my words. I just wanted to share with you what happened. I didn't mean to make you feel bad," he said leaning against the door.
"Just leave me alone," she whispered sadly.
He stood there debating what to do, but he couldn't walk away and make her feel that she was unwanted.
"I heard you," he said, pausing for a response. When he got nothing, he continued. "I heard you singing to me in that place. I googled the song. It was Lionheart."
Still no response.
"Maeve told me it was time to go. She said I had a family to take care of," he said. "The place faded away and I was scared. I wanted to go back to that place where I felt safe."
He heard her begin to sob.
"But then I heard you. I heard your voice begging me to come back and I felt that peace again. When I opened my eyes and saw you, every perfect feeling I felt in that place came rushing back to me. I wasn't afraid anymore because you were there.
I can't stop caring about Maeve. It's just something that will always be a part of me, but while she has a piece of me, you have all of me. You are the reason I breathe every day. The reason I live. You are my world, my everything."
Spencer stepped back when he heard the door knob click. Emily opened the bathroom door and looked at him with a tear streaked face. She was biting her lip and trying to hold back the tears.
"You mean that?" she said in a hushed tone.
"Have I ever been one to lie? I mean, I almost destroyed our relationship because I can't tell you anything but the truth," he said.
"You need to tell me now. This is your out, Spencer. I do not want you to do this for the baby. I can raise the baby just fine on my own. I do not need your pity or your sympathy," she said getting worked up again.
Spencer walked over to his bedside table as Emily watched him with curiosity. He grabbed something out of the drawer and handed it to her. She looked at the stack of ads in her hands.
"These are home listings," she said confused.
"Yes, they are. While I was in Las Vegas, I had some down time and I used it looking for new homes in the area. My place is just too small, you said so yourself when Mom was here," he started.
"So, you want to move out of the apartment? This is relevant why?" she said irritated.
Spencer let out a small laugh. "Emily, I was looking at homes for us. I wanted to ask you to move in with me, but there's no room for your things and your place is just as small for the cost. So, I thought I'd find somewhere that would fit us both and then ask you to live with me," he explained.
Emily looked at him, down at the papers in her hand, back up at him, and back down at the papers.
"Are … you … Are you serious?" she said looking back up at him again.
"I'm dead serious," he said as she shot him a look. "Ok, wrong choice of word there, but yes, I am 100% serious, Emily. I want to wake up to you every day. I want the last thing I see at night to be your beautiful face."
Emily placed the papers on top of the dresser nearby as more tears slid from her eyes.
"Are those yes tears or Spencer, you are out of your ever-loving mind tears?" he asked.
Emily walked over to him and pressed her lips to his. They devoured each other. Her hands clutching his shirt as his hands held curled into her hair. Their lips moving with one another as their tongues fought.
Emily pulled back and brushed Spencer's hair from his eyes. "They are definitely yes tears," she said smiling at him.
Spencer's face lit up. His smile stretched across his entire face, something she loved dearly about him. He cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers again. Their kiss intensified as they clawed at one another's clothing. Shirts, shoes, socks, everything flying through the air to different locations around the bedroom.
Spencer grabbed Emily and pulled her to bed, never separating from her mouth. He sat down as she straddled his waist. In between kisses and gasps for air, Spencer urgently declared, "God, I love you so much."
This pushed Emily further into a frenzy. Her kisses became more desperate and needy. He could feel her desire to become one with him. To be reminded that this was real and he wasn't going anywhere. It was this realization that made him pull back from her.
"Emily, sweetie," he said as she began to suck on his neck.
Spencer pushed on her shoulders, breaking her from the trance. She looked embarrassed, confused, and a hint of fear. He smiled at her and ran his fingers through her hair.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said softly. "We don't have to rush this. We can take our time and enjoy it."
Emily blushed, but nodded her head. Spencer stood up, holding Emily in his arms. He turned and placed her on the bed. He climbed over her and smiled before giving her a gentle kiss. He rubbed his nose affectionately against hers.
He slid down her body and stopped at her stomach. Emily propped herself up and watched him place a kiss on her belly.
"You can't hear me yet, but we love you and we can't wait to meet you," he said before placing another kiss.
He looked up at Emily and smiled lovingly at her. She reached out to bring him back up to her mouth. The rest of the night they enjoyed each other. No desperation. No rush. Just complete love and adoration.