A/N: This is the final chapter for My Heart Yearns. Thank you to everyone who has supported me for all of these years on this story! I am contemplating a sequel. Please message me with ideas or if you would like a sequel. Have a wonderful, beautiful life and I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I have.
AnimeXisXmyXstyle
My Heart Yearns
Chapter Twenty-Six
It wasn't until I heard Naruto's yell that I found myself sprinting to the Hokage building. I had felt something wrong, very wrong. I rushed down the street, pushing civilians and fellow shinobi out of my way. I heard my name being called, it rang as little more than an echo in the back of my head. All that mattered was that I could sense that the people that I loved were in danger.
I rushed into the room, smoke and debris smothering the room. In the corner, lay an unconscious Tenten and Sasuke. They lay, their hands laced together, pain plainly shown on their faces; however, Sasuke's had something else too. A sort of happiness and contentment. Like he had just accomplished something so much bigger than I could even imagine. A sudden yell pulled me out of my thoughts. In the corner across from them lay a writhering Naruto. Dangerous red chakra was pouring out of him in waves. The hairs on his face were growing rapidly, his nails lengthening at an inhuman rate. His eyes locked with mine. Red meeting black. It was a silent plea for help. A scream of bloody murder, something so monstrous and terrifying, that I felt the goosebumps stand up on my arms, echoed through the halls of the Hokage Tower. Naruto's eyes rolled back in his head, his body still twitching wildly.
A smirk grunt sounded from across from him and I turned to see Danzo there, grinning evily like had just won a prize. "I feel so...powerful." Black fire suddenly rushed at me, flaring with uncontrollabe flames. I watched as it destroyed everything in its path. I rushed to avoid its evil clutches. The laughs of a psychopath reverberated throughout the endless halls. "This is the power of the Uchiha clan!"
His eye, his left one, was bloody-almost as if red tears were streaming from his beady eye. A demonic face, one that riveled the nine-tailed fox inside of Naruto, presented itself on Danzo's face. I had known something was wrong with him. I had known he was too off, too sneaky, too slimy. A red burst of smoke suddenly catapolted towards me. I dodged out of the way just in time. The smoke's outstreched arms grabbed nothing, dispersing as it hit the wall.
"What did you do to them?" I yelled. Good, I thought. Get him talking. Get him distracted.
"Nothing that couldn't have been avoided. That Mitsashi girl could have been a fine shinboi. She had the makings of a legendary ANBU captain. And that Uzumaki boy, had he not gotten in the way of what I wanted, he too might have been saved. I would have kept him on a tight leash-we wouldn't want our trump card gallavanting around for any country to get their hands on, now would we? Now Sasuke," he said and laughed. "Sasuke was unavoidable. I knew he would be trouble...I'd always known he would be trouble. He wasn't supposed to survive, you see. I made sure he wouldn't. Something-or I should say, someone-was constantly watching over him. How fortunate for me that the neive boy killed the very man that was keeping him alive."
"What are you talking about?"
"Let me enlighten you," he said, forming handsigns rapidly. A water dragon rushed for me. I did the substitution technique and appeared diagonal to where I just was. "Many years ago, Itachi Uchiha was approached with a high level mission. So high, actually, that only the Hokage and the High Council knew about it. What was that mission, you must be asking yourself? He was given the objective of killing his entire clan."
"You see, I knew he would slip up. I knew he was too calm and mellow. The boy hated war and fighting. I knew he would not be able to kill off his darling little brother. That is why I made a deal with Madara himself-yes, the Madara. He ensured me that the boy would not survive. He didn't realize how thorough and to what means Itachi went to protect the boy. It was not by fate that he somehow managed to survive all these years. Itachi had rigged the game from the start. He threatened the village that should anything happen to Sasuke, he would tell everyone the true nature of the Uchiha Assassination. He cut off Orochimaru's hand, warning him to not lay a hand on Sasuke, knowing he would seek him out as a new container. When Itachi felt that Orochimaru was breaking this promise, he visited Sasuke, making sure he was prepared to face the snake-man."
"When Sasuke's mind began to go past the point of no return, turning twisted and vile, Itachi made sure that he would always have someone there that could truly understand his pain. He killed the Mitsashi girl's quainte little family, leaving her-like Sasuke-as the sole survivor. When she began to stray from the path he had set for her, finding comfort in a blond, hot-headed, stone ninja, he forced the said ninja into the Akatsuki, to ensure that she would never stray from the path. He even gave Sasuke a nudge in her direction by having one of his crows give Sasuke's animal-speaking friend information on a safe place that they could lay low for a while."
"He leaked information of his location to members of the Akatsuki that he knew to be spies. Surely enough, Sasuke showed up at the Uchiha Hideout to kill his brother. Right before his own death, Itachi transfered all of his remaining power into Sasuke, ensuring once again that no harm should befall his little brother. He even set it up that should Sasuke see Madara, Sasuke's sharingan would react with Amaterasu-this nifty black fire you wittness before you. Funny actually, that after the extent he went to keep this all hidden from him, Madara told the boy anyways."
"Itachi did all of this while he was a member of Akatsuki?"
"Most of it-yes. He was a highly intelligent boy, a shame really, that his abilities had to be sacrificed for the village. He had a way of always attaining what he wanted, by any means possible. He wanted Sasuke to be the one to kill him, so that he could be named a hero. He wanted Sasuke to restore honor to the Uchiha name. Quite hilarious that Itachi's only fault was having too much faith in his little brother. Look at him now, barely conscious on the floor. A sane man would have never returned to Konoha. A sane man would have never tried to save that girl. He was given so much potential to succeed and he still managed to fail."
"You speak of sanity as if you have any," I bite out. "Only a man driven solely by power would not understand the power of bonds. I believe that Sasuke finally understands that. He understands that he was never stronger than Naruto because he was powered soley by a desire to be stronger. He was fuled by hate and revenge, and so he was weak. Now, even without his eyes, he stands and fights. He is stronger than you, and the sad fact is that you can't see that and will probably never understand it, anyways."
"I am stronger!" Danzo yells, the sound similiar to that of a lion. "I am the one with Itachi's power flowing through my chakra system! I am the one with dozens of sharingan eyes! I am the HOKAGE!"
"The third Hokage once said that Konoha 'is a place where every year shinobi are born, raised, grow old, fight, and die to protect their home. These people are precious to me. We share a home, we share a life, and though we may not share ties of blood, they are precious to me. They are my family. And if I do fall you still will fail. I am only one of a long line. I carry this title in trust for those Hokage who came before and those who will come after. I am the Third Hokage!' You, Danzo, have none of the qualities that make up a Hokage. The people of the fire country will never accept your as their Hokage. They will never follow you into war because to them, you are nothing. You are as important to them as the dust beneath my sandals-trivial and pointless."
Black fire shot across the room once more. I danced with its lethal flames.
(Hana)
I was too late. Why was I always too late? I rushed through the giant double doors, pushing them open with all of my strength. The site that met my eyes made me scream out in heart wrenching pain. Remnants of purple smoke danced lazily around the room, as if their dance partner had left them alone and they had not the desire to carry on without a lead. Beneath that smoke, lay the body of the man that I loved with my entire heart. He lay there as but a pile of blood and bones, his body already limp in my arms as I rushed over to him and pulled him close to me.
"Kakashi!" I screamed. Nothing. I felt for a pulse, but none greeted me. Blood poured from the cracks in his lips. His eyes were closed, as if he had died in his sleep. I knew this not to be the case. He had died protecting his family, the very family I had yelled at him for neglecting. My heart wrenched in guilt. "Kakashi, I love you! Please, come back!"
My pleas fell upon deaf ears. His soul was gone, only his body remained. I pulled his hitai-ate off of his sharingan eye and dropped it to the floor beside me. I removed his dark mask, staring at the face of a man that had utterly changed my life. I carefully pushed the silver locks from his face. I pulled him as close to me as I could and I kissed his bloodied face. I kissed his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, his lips. I brought my lips so that they hovered just over his and whispered, hoping with every cell of my body, that he heard my words, "I love you."
I attended his funeral two days later. I forced myself to be the picture perfect widow. I cried my silent tears in a black dress, a black parcel placed delicately in my hand, sheltering me from the clouds' cruel tears.
Iruka Umino gave his eulogy.
"Kakashi was a man of outstanding character. Not only was he an elite shinobi of the Fire Country, but he also was a dedicated husband and father. He was a friend who could keep any secret. Though, one could never tell if he was really listening or reading those damn books he always carried around with him." Chuckles echoed throughout the crowd of people, civillians and shinobi alike, that had gathered to mourn his loss. "But he was always there for you, no matter. He had an uncanny way of showing up whenever you needed him, like...like he could read your mind. He had his ups and downs, just like any other person. But Kakashi never allowed those downs to get the best of him. Even when he was at his very worst, he was a better man than I could ever hope to be."
"Hana, there's something that I think you should have." I turned around to meet face to face with Iruka.
"Iruka," I greeted, nodding my head.
"Kakashi gave me this before he died, incase anything were to happen to him. He wanted me to give it to you." He handed me a plain white envelope. Nondescript but carrying the world's greatest treasure, much like Kakashi himself.
"Thank you, Iruka."
Hana, my Uindo,
The person whose presence enkindled a fire within my heart.
The person whom I owe my everything,
I love you.
Three simple words, eight meaningless letters,
Yet one impossibly beautiful meaning.
I love you.
It feels so good to write that down. I have the worst tendency
to keep everything bottled up inside. Know that it is not you,
but my unending desire to protect those that I love from the
cruelty in the world.
I realize that while you read this, you probably hate my entire being.
I just wanted to tell you the utmost truth, because you deserve nothing
less. I was wrong to ever have let you go. I realize now that it was my
ability to blow a situation completely out of proportion, that caused you
to hide being a princess away from me. At the time it seemed so important,
but now I come to realize that it didn't change who you were at all.
Uindo, Hanayo-Hime, or just Hana, you're still you. It doesn't matter
that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. It doesn't matter
that I often times find myself content in just being in your presence. It
doesn't matter that your hair is soft, your eyes compassionate, your
touch gentle. None of that matters because beneath all of that, you
have a heart filled with so much love, that it pours out of you in
waves, affecting everyone around you.
Everything that happened between us happened so fast. When I first saw you
in that flower shop, I could read you so easily. You faked your smiles and your
laughs. You giggled when you were supposed to and talked when it was
appropritate. When I saw you in that flower shop, I instantly felt like we
had an invisible tie. We both were so hidden deep inside of ourselves,
that it was difficult to let ourselves free, to be who we are deep down.
All those times I bullied you as a kid were because I was insecure. I liked
you, Hana. I liked you a lot. But what would you, a princess, want to do with
a person like me? An orphan with no money, no name made for himself,
only his natural talent as a shinobi. Bullying you made my feel better about
myself. I used to revel in your failures because I saw myself as a failure. When
I would hang out with Kurenai as a kid, it wasn't because I liked her-it was
because I could control her. You, Hana, were as free as the wind. Nothing
and no one could tie you down. I didn't realize that you were suffering...
and not only from my bullying antics, but also from your broken family.
That whole time all you wanted to do was be my friend, and I, being my stupid
self, tortured you in ways only a peer could have. I wonder if things would be
different if I had sucked up my damn pride and had been nice to you...but
then I think, we wouldn't have shared all of these memories. We might
not have ever met as adults.
I did not know that Danzo had done something so horrible to Sasuke...I
found out at the same time that you did. The whole time I wanted to
hold you close to me...but I couldn't. I couldn't be nice to you, Hana,
because Danzo had spies everywhere. I knew something was wrong
with him the moment I heard that Tsunade was in an unexplained coma.
I didn't want him to hurt you. You'd been so abused in the past...I couldn't
bare to have seen you harmed again.
I love you, because you see the best in everyone-even in someone like me.
I hate that you always feel you are the one to blame, like you're individually
responsible for anything and everything that happens.
I love that you always put others before yourself, that you're so selfless.
I...just...love you, everything about you. Your quircks, your fettishes,
your pet peeves. Everything.
Smile, Hana, because you have a beautiful smile.
Smile because I'm not the selfish man that I once was and I want you to have
the world. I want you to have access to it at the edge of your finger
tips. I love you and I can understand if you do not feel the same way about
me. I am content with you being happy, because that's what true love is.
Love is an unconditional desire for another to be happy.
Smile, Hana, really smile, because that will mean you are happy,
and that will mean that I will be happy.
My Heart Is Yours For the Taking,
the way it always should have been,
Kakashi Hatake
(Kakashi)
People say when you make a life altering decision, that everything seems to playout in slow motion and a million thoughts run through your head. It wasn't like that for me. There wasn't a decision for me; it was a need. It was something that i would have questioned anyone who had to decide. The image of my family fluttered into my mind. Hana stood with her long, silken hair, a soft smile on her face. She stood on her tippy toes so that she could fit her arms around Naruto and Sasuke's shoulders. Naruto's hair was longer and his face more mature. The grin on his face was the same one he had every time he was up to no good. Sasuke stood with his arms crossed, his eyes still where they belonged, rolling them at the whole commotion. A lopsided smirk betrayed his apathetic posture. Tenten stood with her arms around Sasuke's waist, an eye-shutting smile on her face. Her hair fell down in soft waves, finally free of those ridiculous buns.
They were my everything. My beginning, my middle, and-I noticed that in a few seconds-my end. That's why my hands fell into position, the words not escaping my mouth. That's why I appeared seconds later, in front of their beaten bodies. That's why I met Danzo head on, chidori flaring widly in my hand. Blue struck red and exploded into a burst of purple. One minute, I felt that every bone in my body was broken, and in the next I felt nothing. No pain. No hurt. No sadness.
I felt oddly...complete.
A white light flashed into the darkness, and I squinted my eyes to see. Was this the flash of bright light? Suddenly pain spread through my whole body. My scream tore through the silence, echoing off its endless choridors. My blood danced through my veins. My chakra points closed and opened. My bones twisted and writhed in their place. My skin became nothing but a thin barrier stopping my bloods cruel tango. The color red filled my vision, and my eyes bolted closed. I tried to reach for my head, to block my ears from the endless echo of a dead man's scream; however, my bones spun like vines, crawling up a brick building. Bones snapped out of place. My wrists snapped, then my elbows, and finally my shoulders. After the intial pain, I felt only numbness. I would have sworn my arms were no longer connected to the rest of me.
I screamed again as my toes felt as if a thousand needles were attacking all at once. It spread from my toes to my legs, stopping only tentatively when it hit my chakra core, radiating to my neck, shoulders, and finishing at my head. My eardrums rang and I high pitched noise was all I could hear. Was I even yelling anymore? My body dropped to the floor, cold water splashing over my bloodied body. My eyes were still closed. I suddenly felt my hands tremmering. My body began to shiver, my teeth chattering.
"Get up, Kakashi."
"I can't, my bones-"
"Take my hand, Kakashi."
"My hands, they're not-"
"Trust me, Kakashi."
"...Alright."
"Open your eyes, Kakashi." Slowly, ever so slowly, my eyelids spread apart and my eyes adjusted to the light. It was no longer stained red or such a bright white that it blinded me. It was light in the sense that it was sunny. I could see clouds passing by above me. I looked up to the person who had spoken to me. There stood a goofy-faced, aged, Rin. Her huge smile looked fox-like, and I couldn't help but think of Naruto.
"Took you long enough, dobe." I looked beyond Rin's shoulder to see an older Obito, a small smirk on his face, his arms crossed.
"Yeah, Kakashi, we've been waiting forever for you!" Rin added, yanking on my still outstretched hand and pulling me to my feet. A light breeze blew through my hair, my clothes swirling and flowing freely. I look down to see that they are all white. Spotless. Too good for me.
"I'm sorry...I was...I..."
"Oh we know Kakashi," Rin said all matter-of-factly. "You had some loose ends to tie. We're cool with it." I looked back to see a crumpled pile of black ooze, writhing on the ground, smoking and sizzling, quickly diminishing.
"What...what is that?"
"That's all your pain, Kakashi. All of your saddness, your heart ache, and any negative feeling you've ever felt." Rin was smiling now. Her hand left mine, dropping to her side. Obito's hand quickly caught it, their hands lacing together. "You won't need it here."
"Where exactly is here?"
"Heaven, Olympis, a different dimension...who knows? But it's wonderful, Kakashi. I've never felt so..."
"Complete," Rin says, finishing his sentence and giggling. His eyes meet hers and he chuckles.
"We've been waiting for you. We wanted to cross the bridge together," Rin said, turning from Obito. I looked back, searching for Hana.
"What about my loved ones?"
"They'll come eventually, too. If you'd like, we can help them cross the bridge also. No one wants to do something all alone."
"And Hana? All of my memories-even the sad ones we shared?"
"Oh, they'll still be there," Rin says, her voice going from know-it-all to motherly and caring. "This place is meant so that you won't ever feel pain or saddness, but we all need memories. Our past experiences are what make us who we are. Without them, we're like a fish living without water. We wouldn't be a fish at all." I laughed, happiness swelling up in my chest. I immediately stopped, bringing a hand to my heart. It felt so light.
"You'll get used to it," Obito told me. I looked up at him, smiling, my mask crinking at the edges. Hana could always tell when I was smiling. Instead of that thought bringing a longing ache for her, it made my smile even bigger. Because someday...someday, we'd be in this place together. Forever? Who knows. What will it be like? Who knows. Knowing all the answers didn't seem so important anymore. We walked together, hand in hand.
"I missed you guys...so much," I said as we were crossing the bridge. They looked over at me and smiled.
"We missed you too. We were always watching, you know. And let me say that the Hana girl-she's a keeper. I like her," Rin said, her voice sounding childish and giddy.
"I know," I said, my heart not skipping a beat. We continued our way across the bridge. I looked down at my reflection and noticed that my mask was gone. All of me was exposed to the world. My emotions, my feelings, my thoughts...they were out there for anyone to see. I realized, however, that the fear of the ache from rejection wasn't there. It lay shriveled up, dispersing rapidly into dark clouds of smoke. It lay back in my memories. I took a deep breath, sweet, clean air filling my lungs.
"I love you, Hanayo-hime. I'll never stop loving you. I hope to see you soon."
...Six months later, Hana died of a broken heart.
She was burried beside Kakashi directly in front of the KIA Stone.
Kakashi's name was engraved alongside those of his teammates and though Hana's was not,
a small plate of stone above where she was buried, lay enscribed the words,
" Absense is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Mother.
Wife.
True Confidant.
Hanayo Nakamura.
AKA- 'Uindo'."