Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer and no infringement is intended.
There is a bit of email banter in this chapter. If you hate that, well I'm very sorry, but this is the last of it so please bear with me.
Chapter 26
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Thursday, Aug 30, 2012 12:42 PM
Subject: Favorites
Ok, I figured step one of getting to know each other again would be to go back to the basics. I used to know the answers to these questions but it's been awhile and I figured things might have changed. So, tell me Bella, what are your favorites, book, color, food, movie, tv show, etc.
-Edward
p.s. I know I'm cheating by sending this during working hours but I just had a free moment during my lunch break and couldn't resist.
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Thursday, Aug 30, 2012 6:12 PM
Subject: RE: Favorites
Basics huh? Alright then. My favorite food is still Italian. I can't help it, I love my pasta. Favorite color is still green. Those two haven't changed. As for the others, I have many favorite books but I guess my very favorite book is Pride & Prejudice. I don't really watch enough TV to have a favorite, Charlie tends to dictate what we watch which means I watch a lot of Disney Channel yet I refuse to name Wizards of Waverly Place or iCarly as my favorites. That just seems sad. When I get to pick it's usually just the Food Network. I don't know that I have a favorite movie either though I never fail to get sucked into A League of Their Own or Fried Green Tomatoes when they're on TV. I think that's just the girl in me though. I do know that I tend to lean towards dramas or romantic comedies. I rarely watch the shoot-em-up, nothing-but-explosions type of action movies or the raunchy, frat boy comedies anymore. I think I had enough of them to last me a lifetime while I was married to Jake.
Not sure what etc favorites you were looking for. My favorite holiday is Christmas, but not because I like receiving anything, that hasn't changed, but because the look of wonder on Charlie's face when she wakes up Christmas morning and sees that Santa did come is the best thing in the whole world. I also love the 4th of July with its BBQ's, parades and summer warmth. It's just always been a fun day.
I like most music as long as it's good, be it rock or pop or whatever but I'm not a big fan of rap or that newer rock that seems to be just screaming and the torture of instruments. Maybe I'm just too old.
Now it's your turn. Are your favorites still the same?"
Bella
p.s. Don't worry about it. I don't check this email at work so it doesn't matter when you send the email, I won't get it until later anyways. As long as you don't expect an answer until then, it's just fine.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Thursday, Aug 30, 2012 8:32 PM
Subject: RE: RE: Favorites
Fair enough. I've grown to like most food, especially anything spicy. However, the red-blooded American male in me still loves a good steak and some mashed potatoes but only real mashed potatoes not that instant stuff. That stuff reminds me of wallpaper paste.
I still also have too many favorite books to name though I don't really get a chance to read much lately, so I'm a bit out of touch on the more recent literature. I will say I was surprised by your answer, not that Pride & Prejudice isn't a great book, but what happened to Wuthering Heights? I thought that was your favorite?
I don't watch much TV either. Every time I turn it on, it seems to be either people humiliating themselves for money or desperate women fighting for some loser. I think you're better off with the Disney Channel and Food Network.
I haven't seen a new movie in months, and like you, I've been dragged to too many awful movies as well. I don't mind the action movies as long as they aren't completely brainless. I've known a few frat-boys, as you called them, and you're right on the money with some of those comedies.
I haven't celebrated many holidays lately. It's hard when all your family is across the country. I mean, I came home for Christmas every year and it's always nice, but I haven't experienced that Christmas magic in years and years. I think it's a much different holiday when you're all grown up. It's definitely more of a kids holiday. You are right about the 4th. I never really thought about it, but it is just a big, fun party. What's not to like, I guess? I'm also partial to Easter and Halloween, but only for the candy. I think I have a bit of a sweet tooth. I'm guessing it's different for someone like you who is surrounded by sweets all day.
As for music, I'm 100% with you on some of the newer music. Some is great, some is total crap. I find my listening habits depend on my mood though I'm still quite fond of classical. My friends at Dartmouth thought it was weird when Debussy popped up on my iPod in the car but I say, fuck them. Good music is good music regardless of how old it is. Your daughter isn't into that Justin Beiber kid, is she? I feel terribly sorry for you if she is.
-Edward
p.s. I don't care when you reply, as long as you do.
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Thursday, Aug 30, 2012 9:27 PM
Subject: Holidays, Canadian Popstars, and Literary Choices
It breaks my heart that you've lost the Christmas magic. Truly, I find that to be the saddest thing I've ever heard but maybe someday you'll have kids of your own and rediscover the magic.
Thankfully, Charlie isn't really fond of Beiber and I thank the powers that be for it every single day. If I had to listen to that pre-pubescent asshole sing about love every day, well, I can't promise that I wouldn't pierce my own eardrums just to relieve myself of the misery. She does seem to like every other young, pop-y singer out there though.
I can't believe you remember that my favorite book used to be Wuthering Heights. I do still enjoy it but I found that I had enough dysfunctional relationships in my own life that it was no longer as appealing in the literary world and so I cling to the happy ending of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Silly? Yes, but it is what it is.
Bella
p.s. I'm going to bed now, we bakers are early risers.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Thursday, Aug 30, 2012 10:51 PM
Subject: Dysfunction
Ouch, my dear. While I won't deny that our breakup, and the 9 years since, reeks of dysfunction, I would argue that our actual relationship was anything but, and so I hope it's not your experience with me that led you to abandon your favorite book. To be honest though, I never understood the appeal of Wuthering Heights in the first place. A bit depressing if you ask me.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Friday, Aug 31, 2012 11:27 AM
Subject: RE: Dysfunction
I'm pleading the fifth on what might have led to the change in my feelings towards a certain book and I'm not going to argue that book's merits with you now.
Changing the subject. Tell me what it's like at an Ivy League school. My education consisted of remembering the 5 mother sauces and the difference between AP, bread and pastry flours and my finals were mostly edible. I'd love to hear what it was like at a real university.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Friday, Aug 31, 2012 12:55 PM
Subject: The Ivy League
My education was like any other, I guess. Classes, homework, essays, tests, repeat ad nauseam. I think the only difference is in the subject matter (what is a mother sauce anyways?). I lived in the dorms for a few years and then got an apartment later on. I made a few friends and we spent our weekends drinking and cavorting. I imagine it's same at any college across the country.
-Edward
p.s. I would have loved having edible finals.
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Friday, Aug 31, 2012 4:31 PM
Subject: College Life
And here I hoped the Ivy League would live up to its reputation and be something magical and amazing. I guess the magic part comes later, when you're trying to get a real job. I imagine the 'Ivy League' title works to your favor then, doesn't it?
So, no secret societies of rich kids bent on world domination? Bummer. Hollywood lies again!
Bella
p.s. The mother sauces are: Béchamel, Espagnole, Veloute, Tomato and Hollandaise.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Friday, Aug 31, 2012 5:55 PM
Subject: Secret Societies
Sadly, if Dartmouth was home to secret societies, it appears I did not meet the minimum specifications to join. A tragedy to be sure.
I can't deny that the 'Ivy League' stamp on my diploma probably helped a bit when job seeking. I suppose that's why my parents were so keen to send me. Shockingly, when you go into business with your own mother, it doesn't seem to matter. Such is life, I guess.
-Edward
p.s. I know some of those and some are quite foreign. Are there also father sauces that the mother sauces mingle with to make baby sauces?
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Friday, Aug 31, 2012 8:41 PM
Subject: Mother's Love (and Sauce)
It's true, us mothers don't care what your degree says. If you came from our womb, you can do no wrong. I personally believe my (almost) 8 year old is the smartest thing to ever grace the planet. Don't try to convince me otherwise, it won't happen.
Bella
p.s. Ew, just ew. The idea of two sauces procreating is a bit off-putting isn't it? But, no, there are no father sauces.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Saturday, Sep 1, 2012 9:05 AM
Subject: RE: Mother's Love (and Sauce)
I wouldn't even presume to try and convince you otherwise. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting your child but if she takes after you at all, I'm sure she is an extraordinary human being.
-Edward
p.s. You're right. Very off-putting. I may never look at tomato sauce the same again. I apologize.
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Saturday, Sep 1, 2012 2:41 PM
Subject: Flattery
If you think you can get to me by complimenting my offspring, well then you are 100% correct. She is an extraordinary human being. Much better than I ever hope to be. I think our children steal all of our best traits and leave us with the bad. Natural selection at its finest.
Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Saturday, Sep 1, 2012 7:07 PM
Subject: Genetics
Say what you will, but I saw you less than a week ago and I assure you that she didn't take ALL of your good traits. You still have plenty, at least from what I can tell.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Sunday, Sep 2, 2012 12:22 AM
Subject: Flattery Again
Well, thank you. How do you always know what a girl needs to hear without her saying it?
Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Sunday, Sep 2, 2012 8:07 AM
Subject: Truths
I only speak the truth and I don't know many girls, just beautiful women.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Sunday, Sep 2, 2012 11:13 AM
Subject: Gratitude
Thank you for YOUR truths, even if they are hard to believe.
Bella
p.s. Exactly how many beautiful women are we talking here?
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Sunday, Sep 2 2012 3:11 PM
Subject: Beliefs
Don't you question my beliefs! I've known 3 truly beautiful women in my life. One was my mother, one was my sister and the other I was stupid enough to throw away. It's something I'll regret forever.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Sunday, Sep 2, 2012 6:56 PM
Subject: Regret
Regret is a bitch, I'll give you that. Don't get me started on the things I regret.
Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Sunday, Sep 2 2012 8:19 PM
Subject: RE: Regret
Are you sure? I'd love to hear what you regret.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Monday, Sep 3, 2012 10:56 AM
Subject: RE: RE: Regret
That's an easy answer actually. With the exception of my daughter, I regret most of the last 9 years.
-Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Monday, Sep 3 2012 2:18 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Regret
What about your education and everything that led you to owning your own business? Surely you can't regret that.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Monday, Sep 3, 2012 5:47 PM
Subject: Good Point
I suppose you're right. I enjoy what I do. So, my professional life and my maternal life are ok. It's just everything else that is screwed up I guess.
Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Monday, Sep 3 2012 10:18 PM
Subject: Odds
I say that two out of three ain't bad, baby. You are doing better than me. I have an ok professional life but that is about it and only because I work for my mother. There is no personal life to speak of.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Tuesday, Sep 4, 2012 5:57 AM
Subject: Personal Lives
I appreciate you trying to make me feel better and it may have worked if I didn't know that you just moved here from across the country. Maybe you have no personal life here in Seattle, but I don't doubt that you left a hearty personal life behind and in a few months when you've had a chance to settle; you'll have a healthy social life again. I, however, have lived here for years unable to move on. It's a different story.
Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Tuesday, Sep 4 2012 10:16 AM
Subject: Stories
My personal life in New Hampshire was also non-existent. Truth is, you are not the only one unable to move on.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Tuesday, Sep 4, 2012 5:35 PM
Subject: Moving On
I'm sorry but I find that hard to believe. You forget that I've seen you. Moving on can't possibly be hard with a face like that. I imagine the line of girls willing to help you move on is a mile long.
Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Tuesday, Sep 4 2012 9:20 PM
Subject: You're One to Talk
I've never seen this line you speak of but I assure you, if they are there, they are all lacking in comparison to the one woman I've ever truly cared about. I do have to ask, what about your own line? Surely there are an endless amount of men waiting to scoop up such a gorgeous, successful woman like you.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Wednesday, Sep 5, 2012 6:02 AM
Subject: Hilarious
You, sir, are a funny, funny guy. You guessed it; men are lined up around the block for a chance to ask out the emotionally unavailable, overworked, single mother. HAHA!
Sarcasm aside, I hate to break it to you but there has never been a line, not for me anyways.
Bella
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Wednesday, Sep 5 2012 12:20 PM
Subject: Lines
I'm sorry but you are so very wrong. I have always been in your line.
-Edward
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Wednesday, Sep 5, 2012 1:02 PM
Subject: RE: Lines
That is a lovely sentiment and I hate to harp on this one fact but the truth is, you left my line. Several times.
From: Edward Cullen
To: Bella Swan
Sent: Wednesday, Sep 5 2012 1:15 PM
Subject: RE: RE: Lines
You're not wrong. Physically, I did leave but mentally and emotionally, I never left.
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Cullen
Sent: Wednesday, Sep 5, 2012 1:27 PM
Subject: Mere Sentiments
Your words are lovely but didn't your mother ever teach you that actions speak much louder than words?
Bella
p.s. My lunch break is over, I'm going back to work now. We can continue this later.
For the rest of the day, I worried about how Edward would take my last email. We'd had a fairly pleasant, ongoing conversation over the last week and I didn't want to ruin that but obviously some wounds still run rather deep. I couldn't seem to keep my big mouth shut. I just had to keep dredging up the past and rubbing his face in it.
I threw myself into work, helping Emily with several cakes until it was time to go. It was Charlie's first day of second grade and though Wednesday was her dad's night, I met him at the school to take her out for ice cream as we had every year on the first day of school. Afterwards, I took advantage of a little Charlie-free time to shop for her birthday presents. Her birthday was the next day and I'd definitely left it until the last minute.
With my arms filled with bags and boxes, my hair and clothes damp from the rain, and my checking account seriously lightened, I headed home. I quickly changed into more comfortable and dry clothing and called for take-out, wrapping presents as I waited for my Chinese. By the time my food arrived, the weather outside had turned biblical and the delivery boy looked a bit like a drowned cat as he held out the soggy paper bag containing my beef and broccoli and fried rice.
"Pretty nasty out there, huh?" I asked as I pulled the bills out of my wallet.
"Lady, it's a miracle I found the place. Can't see for shit out there," he said, shaking the water from his shaggy hair. "Lucky for you, I love that place downstairs so I knew where I was going, best Goddamn crème puffs I've ever had."
I smiled and pulled an extra five-dollar bill from my wallet and thrust the money at him as I grabbed my dinner. "They aren't too bad, are they?"
"No ma'am," he replied, shoving the money into a back pocket and then headed back down the stairs and into the deluge.
As I ate, I settled onto the couch, plugged in my laptop and then flipped it open, ready to write out the apology email to Edward I'd been composing in my head all afternoon. He just wanted to be friends and I couldn't seem to stop being a snarky bitch, but I could apologize at least.
I'd just opened my email and hit 'compose' when a little box popped up in the corner.
edwardac84: Hey, it's me. Are you on?
bellamarie: Yeah, just about to email you actually. Weird.
edwardac84: Oh really? What were you going to say?
bellamarie: Yikes, put me on the spot why don't you. I had it all planned out for email, not IM.
edwardac84: Planned out? Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. People only plan out the emails with bad news.
bellamarie: It's not that. I wanted to apologize for being a bitch.
edwardac84: When were you a bitch?
bellamarie: I keep bringing up shit from the past.
edwardac84: That doesn't make you a bitch.
bellamarie: I feel like one. You want to move forward, get to know the new, adult versions of ourselves and maybe become friends but I keep dragging us back into the past.
edwardac84: You weren't wrong.
bellamarie: What?
edwardac84: In your email. The 'actions speak louder than words' part. You are 100% right.
edwardac84: It's just a little hard when you limit me to emails. It sorta leaves me stuck with words.
bellamarie: *hangs head* You're right. Another sign of my bitchiness.
edwardac84: Hey, that's my friend you're talking about. Besides, I don't see it as bitchiness. Self-preservation maybe and if anything, that's entirely my fault.
edwardac84: You wouldn't need to set limitations and protect yourself if not for all of MY colossal fuck-ups.
bellamarie: Maybe, but I should be a bigger person and learn to forgive.
edwardac84: Maybe some things are unforgivable.
I stared at the screen for what seemed like forever. It was only five little words but they made a huge impact. The meaning was clear. He couldn't forgive himself either and that made my heart ache. I don't know why but it was one thing for me to be angry with him but another entirely for him to be so angry with himself. I'd thought for so long that I was the only victim but I'd been wrong. He was hurting here too and more than I wanted my own pain to end, I wanted to end his more and I could start by letting things go.
bellamarie: Few things are unforgivable. This isn't one of them.
edwardac84: Are you saying that you could forgive me?
bellamarie: I think I'm starting to.
A bright flash of light and the deafening boom of thunder outside pulled my attention from the screen. Almost immediately after came another booming sound like that of an explosion and then the entire room went dark except for the faint glow of the computer screen.
bellamarie: Shit!
bellamarie: Power just went out.
I set the computer on the coffee table and rose from the couch, heading to the window. The entire block was bathed in darkness. Using my cellphone as a makeshift flashlight, I felt my way to the hall closet and pulled out the bag of tiny votive candles and the box of matches I kept for occasions such as this. I lit several and placed them around the room before heading back to my place on the couch in front of the computer.
edwardac84: Are you ok?
edwardac84: Bella?
edwardac84: Are you there?
edwardac84: Talk to me please! I'm getting worried over here.
bellamarie: I'm here.
bellamarie: Sorry.
bellamarie: Just checking on things, you know?
edwardac84: Jesus, don't say dramatic shit and then disappear. Just tell a poor guy that you'll be right back or something.
bellamarie: Sorry, not a ton of IM experience here. I was making sure it wasn't just my house without power and whatnot.
edwardac84: Is it?
bellamarie: No, the whole block has gone dark. There was a huge flash just before and a loud *boom*. I think lightning took out a transformer or something.
edwardac84: Are you ok? What about downstairs? I guess the bakery has no power either. Is that going to cause you problems? Stuff going bad or whatever?
bellamarie: I'm fine. It's not the first time we've had a power outage. The bakery fridge and freezers are hooked to generators for just this reason, they'll be ok. Everything is ok here, just dark.
edwardac84: What about your daughter? Is she ok? I know kids get scared of the thunder sometimes. How is she holding up?
The idea that he was worried about my child touched me more than anything he'd ever said.
bellamarie: Thanks for asking but she's not here. Wednesday is her dad's day.
edwardac84: That's right. I think I knew that. I'm sorry. But I'm glad you don't have a frightened child to deal with along with everything else.
Even over IM, he made my heart hammer in my chest with his sweet concerns. I was just debating how to reply when the warning on my laptop popped up. I'd only plugged it in minutes before the power went out and it had been all but dead before that. Now it was telling me to find a power source or shut down. Dammit.
bellamarie: Hey, my comp is yelling at me, it's almost dead. If I disappear suddenly, you know why. Just warning you so you don't freak out if I go MIA again.
edwardac84: Seriously? That sucks. Are you going to be ok over there in the dark?
bellamarie: Of course. I'm a big girl. I can handle a little dark. I might even have a bottle of wine around here. I'll just drink and watch the rain until I'm ready to sleep.
I didn't get the chance to see his reply as my screen suddenly went dark. Stupid ancient laptop. I made a mental note that it was time to upgrade my computer as I rose from the couch. I grabbed a candle and used it to rummage through my pantry for the wine I'd mentioned to Edward until I finally located it tucked away in the back. Thank God! I really needed a drink.
By dim candlelight, I poured myself a very large glass of wine and finished off the rest of my dinner. After that, there was nothing else to do but stare out the window at the rain. It wasn't nearly as nice as it had sounded when I'd mentioned it to Edward.
I was just ready to pack it in and go to bed when there was a quiet knock at the door. I padded over to the door and peeked through the peep hole where I spied a mane of bronze hair. I flipped the lock and threw open the door.
"What are you doing here?" I cried, taking in Edward's rain-soaked form.
"So, I know we said we'd stick to email and whatnot and I know I'm breaking the deal, but I was worried about you. I brought candles, flashlights and more wine, you know, in case you were wrong about having a bottle. Everything you need to weather a storm. I promise I'm not going to stick around. I just didn't know what you had and wanted to make sure you were ok and then I'll go. Someone once told me that actions speak louder than words, so…"
He held out a paper grocery sack filled with supplies, not making a move to enter my home. It was a sweet gesture but I wasn't going to take his stuff and send him back out into the rain. Truthfully, I was beyond happy to see him standing there. My heart was doing backflips and my pulse raced. I took the bag and set it carefully just inside the door before reaching forward and grabbing the lapels of his jacket.
"Thank you," I said quietly. "Now get your ass in here."
Looks like Bella is starting to come around. Is this a good thing or is she setting herself up for more pain? I'd love to hear what you think.