Chesper's Candy Adventures Chapter 26: Mike's on Television!, a charlie and the chocolate factory fanfic

Chesper's Adventures with Charlie and Mr. Willy Wonka

By Funazzachick

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

(I do not own Mr. Wonka, Charlie or any other character except the ones I have created. I also don't own the Chocolate Factory [starts crying] or any other place, thing, creature, plant, mineral or object that is in Roald Dahl's story.)

Chapter 26: Mike is sent by Television

Mike Teavee was more excited than anyone else by seeing something sent by television. "Mr. Wonka," he shouted, "can you send other things by television? Like, say, breakfast cereal?"

"Oh, liquorish lollies!" cried Mr. Wonka. "Don't mention that disgusting stuff in front of me! Do you even know what that stuff is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"

"What do you eat for breakfast then?" asked Chesper curiously.

"Fruit actually," he answered after a moment. "Fresh fruit is the best kind of breakfast you can have. Toast works as well though."

"But could you send it by television if you wanted to?" interrupted Mike.

"Of course I could!"

"And what about people?" persisted Mike. "Could you send a real live person from one place to another in the same way?"

"A person!" cried Mr. Wonka. "Are you touched in the head? Why would you want to send a person, they don't taste very good at all." But he muttered, so that only Chesper could hear, "except for one." The comment made her suddenly feel uncomfortably hot and a sudden lurched in her stomach told her that her body wouldn't mind that in the least.

"But could it be done?"

"Heavens, I don't really know… I suppose it could… yes. I'm pretty sure it could… of course it could… I wouldn't like to risk it, though… it might have some nasty results…"

But Mike was already off. On the way he shoved past Chesper, accidently knocking her shades off her face. He ran as fast as he could towards the other end of the room where the camera was standing. "Look at me!" he shouted as he ran. "I'm going to be the first person in the world to be sent by television!"

"No!" cried Mr. Wonka.

"Mike!" screamed Mrs. Teavee. "Stop! You'll be turned into a million tiny pieces!"

But there was no stopping Mike now. The crazy boy rushed over to the panel, scattering Oompa-Loompas left and right as he went. He hit the button and quickly jumped in front of the television.

It had happened so fast they had little time to do anything. Mr. Wonka managed to grab Chesper and push her face into his chest. He lifted his outer jacket to cover her head completely so as to save her eyes from the blinding flash that came.

Then there was silence.

As Charlie quickly scooped up Chesper's glasses Mrs. Teavee ran forward… but she stopped dead in the middle of the room… she stood staring at the place her son had been… her great mouth opened wide and she screamed, "He's gone! He's gone!"

"Merlin's pants! He has gone!" exclaimed Chesper once she could see again.

"Mike!" screamed Mrs. Teavee, clasping her head in her hands. "Where are you?"

"I'll tell you where he is," said Mr. Teavee, "he's whizzing around above or heads in a million tiny pieces!"

"We must watch the television," announced Mr. Wonka. "He may come through at any moment."

Mr. and Mrs. Teavee, Chesper, Charlie and Mr. Wonka all gathered round the television and stared tensely at the screen. The screen was quite blank.

"He's taking a heck of a long time to come across," said Mr. Teavee, wiping his brow.

"Well a million pieces would take a long time to put together," pointed out Charlie.

"Oh I just hope that no part of him gets left behind," fretted Mr. Wonka.

"What on earth do you mean?" asked Mr. Teavee sharply.

"Well," explained Mr. Wonka, "sometimes only half of the little pieces find their way into the television." He stopped for a minute before asking, "If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?"

"What kind of a question is that?" shrieked Mrs. Teavee.

"Hold everything!" said Mr. Wonka. "Watch the screen!"

The screen had suddenly begun to flicker. Then some wavy lines appeared. An Oompa-Loompa adjusted one of the knobs and the wavy lines went away. And now, very slowly, the screen began to get brighter and brighter.

"Here he comes," said Mr. Wonka. "Yes, that's him all right."

Faintly at first, but becoming clearer every second, the picture of Mike Teavee appeared on the screen. He was standing up, waving to the audience and grinning from ear to ear.

"But he's so tiny!" cried Mrs. Teavee. "Mike, say something! Tell me you're alright!"

A whisper of a voice, no louder than the squeaking of a mouse, came drifting up out of the screen. "Hi, Mum!" it said. "Hi, Dad! Look at me! I'm the first person ever to be sent by television!"

"Quick!" Mr. Wonka ordered. "Grab him!"

Mrs. Teavee shot out a hand and picked the teeny figure of Mike out of the screen. "Hooray!" cried Mr. Wonka. "He's completely unharmed!"

"You call that unharmed?" snapped Mrs. Teavee, peering at the little speck of a boy who was now running to and fro across the palm of her hand. He was certainly no more than an inch tall.

"He's shrunk!" said Mr. Teavee.

"Of course he's shrunk," Mr. Wonka said."What did you expect?"

"Just put me back in the other way!" cried the tiny voice of Mike.

"There is no other way," replied Mr. Wonka. "It's tele-vision not tele-phone. It's quite different."

"Oh, Mr. Wonka," wailed Mrs. Teavee, "how can we make him grow?"

"Well," said Mr. Wonka, gazing thoughtfully at the ceiling, "I must say that's a bit tricky. But small boys are extremely springy and elastic. They stretch like mad. So we'll do this. Put him in a special machine I have for testing the stretchiness of chewing-gum! Maybe that will bring him back to what he was."

"Oh, thank you… but, isn't he going to be awfully thin?"

"Yes, extremely thin."

"How thin will he be?"Asked Mr. Teavee anxiously.

"I haven't the foggiest idea," said Mr. Wonka. "And it doesn't matter, anyway, because we'll soon fatten him up again. All we'll have to do is give him a triple overdose of my wonderful Supervitamin Chocolate. Supervitamin Chocolate contains huge amounts of vitamin A and vitamin B. It also contains vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, vitamin F, vitamin G, vitamin I, vitamin J, vitamin K, vitamin L, vitamin M, vitamin N, vitamin O, vitamin P, vitamin Q, vitamin R, vitamin T, vitamin U, vitamin V, vitamin W, vitamin X, vitamin Y and vitamin Z! The only two vitamins it doesn't have in it are vitamin S, because it makes you sick, and vitamin H, because it makes you grow horns on top of your head, like a bull. But it does have in it also a very small amount of the rarest and most magical vitamin of them all – vitamin Wonka."

"What is that?" asked Charlie with interest.

"Ah that, my boy, is the most amazing vitamin of all!" exclaimed Mr. Wonka. "I'll wager that it would save you from the brink of death! But certainly not something you want to overdose on, as it could make your toes grow out until they're as long as fingers. That would be most useful though! It would be great fun playing the piano with your feet."

"But Mr. Wonka…"

"No arguments Mrs. Teavee, please!" He turned away clicked his fingers three times and made the strange sound with his tongue. An Oompa-Loompa appeared immediately and stood beside him. "Follow these directions," instructed Mr. Wonka, handing the Oompa-Loompa a piece of paper on which he had written full instructions. "Off you go! Good-bye, Mr. Teavee! Good-bye Mrs. Teavee! And please don't look so worried! Everything works out in the end…"

At the end of the room, the Oompa-Loompas around the giant camera were beating on tiny drums and began jogging up and down to the rhythm. Chesper wondered where all the drums had suddenly appeared from.

"There they go again!" said Mr. Wonka. "I'm afraid you can't stop them singing."

"It's alright," assured Chesper. "They're pretty good but I can't help but wonder. Where did they learn to dance?"

At this Mr. Wonka turned bright cherry red and mumbled embarrassedly, "I taught them."

Before they could say anything more the Oompa-Loompas started singing and Chesper, Charlie and Mr. Wonka, in the middle of the bright room, stood listening:

"The most important thing we've learned,

So far as children are concerned,

Is, never, NEVER, NEVER let

Them near your television set –

Or better still, just don't install

The idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we've been,

We've watched them gaping at the screen.

They loll and slop and lounge about,

And stare until their eyes pop out.

(Last week in someone's place we saw

A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

They sit and stare and stare and sit

Until they're hypnotized by it,

Until they're absolutely drunk

With all the shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

They don't climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,

They leave you free to cook the lunch

And wash the dishes in the sink –

But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what

This does to your beloved tot?

IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!

IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!

HE CANNOT THINK - HE ONLY SEES!

'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,

'But if we take the set away,

What shall we do to entertain

Our darling children! Please explain!'

We'll answer this by asking you,

'What used the darling ones to do?

How used they keep themselves contented

Before this monster was invented?'

Have you forgotten? Don't you know?

We'll say it very loud and slow:

THEY… USED… TO… READ! They'd READ and READ,

AND READ and READ, and then proceed

TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

One half their lives was reading books!

The nursery shelves held books galore!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And in the bedroom, by the bed,