"Don't wanna sleep in the same bed as you, er, you know, right."
"Try sentences next time. It just so happens that I have a plan so stop fretting. You go to sleep first on your side of bed and I'll stay up and catch up on my reading. By the time you're in lala land I'll then go to sleep on my side of bed. That way we won't lie awake wondering if the other is sleeping or not."
"Oh, good idea."
"Don't I know it."
Shizuo relaxed. This entire experience was crazy and this particular day absurdly hectic, he was looking forward to catching some shuteye. Shizuo turned around and his heart nearly stopped.
"What- what the hell are you wearing?"
"My night undies."
And indeed Izaya sported a tightly fit piece of underwear, black with a fluffy fur trim. And nothing else.
"You sleep in those?"
"I do, yes. Do you have a problem?"
"That's like sleeping naked!"
"Again, do you have a problem with that?"
Shizuo had plenty of problems. He threw one of his shirts at Izaya.
"Wear that."
"Ew, Shizu-chan's clothes! This is like a dress on me."
"Wear it, goddamnit!"
"Is this clean…?"
"Of course it's clean! Are you saying that I'm dirty?"
Izaya wrinkled his nose.
"Okay, I'll wear it…if I have to."
Izaya was of course going to strip down to his undies as soon as Shizuo was asleep. Something occurred to Shizuo, his suspicious nature kicking into gear.
"You're not gonna do weird things to me after I'm asleep? Are you?"
"I've told you more than once that you're not my type."
"You saying I'm not good enough? Huh? That what you saying?"
"Why are you upset all of sudden?"
Shizuo floundered, grumbled some and hid under the covers.
"Eh, Shizu-chan, do you normally sleep with your clothes on?"
"Shut up! None of your bloody business!"
"Ah…suit yourself. And I hope you don't snore."
Izaya busied himself working on his laptop after which he spun some on a swivel chair because he was on withdraw. By the time he was done Shizuo was fast asleep and fortunately not snoring. Izaya ditched the shirt, placed some fat pillow as a barrier and after stretching most catlike and yawning he settled for dreaming of fluffy futons.
Shizuo too had a dream and it included a futon as well. But more importantly, it included the ever illusive girl Izaya. Hot and curvy despite being on the thin side. Just when things were getting good, girl Izaya being something a tease, Shizuo was rudely brought back to the waking world by an annoying voice that despite being familiar he could not momentarily place. In fact, as he blinked awake he did not notice much of a difference between the amazing girl Izaya and the person lying underneath him who just so happened to be the actual Izaya.
"Get off me, you brute!"
"…'zaya? You're a guy again…? Shit…"
"I don't even! Get off me, right now!"
Izaya squirmed underneath Shizuo in an attempt to escape and slapped him hard across the face.
"Hey! That hurt!"
"Shi-zu-o, kindly get off me before I claw your eyes out."
And Shizuo could very well believe it. Shizuo's grogginess was gone now.
"Huh, sorry, I was having a dream and there was this chick, yeah, you know like I told you that you were a girl in my other dream, it was like that-"
"That's it, you're sleeping on the floor."
"What? You can't do that to me!"
"On the contraire. I can and I will. Be glad I don't sue you for attempted rape!"
Shizuo was ready to respond but he noticed that Izaya was wearing nothing but skimpy and most definitely weird underwear.
"Why are you dressed like a slut! No wonder I get weird dreams! With you acting like a whore!"
Izaya's jaw came undone.
"Hello, I was sleeping when you attacked me and it is my fault because of my underwear? Are you retarded? No wait, no need to answer."
"Is that fur?"
"Stop changing the subject here. The floor with you, right now. You do not want to make me cross, Heiwajima Shizuo. Trust me on this."
Izaya did not quite glare but there was a menacing aura around him that Shizuo recognized as dangerous. It was also very sexy. Shizuo gathered some pillows and blankets that he carried to the floor.