Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside x2

Guess who's back,

Back again,

I am back,

Tell a friend,

Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back,

du du du

Haha, had to guys, love ya don't hate me, i also love Eminem, me and my friend are hooked on his music. 3

Sorry guys, i know i haven't updated in a while, but please don't hate me. 1). First i had writers block 2). I went on a school trip with my friends and we weren't allowed to take phones computers or anything like that. I am so sorry, here is my new chapter. 3

Thanks for the patience 3

"Okay guy's Edward Carlisle and Jasper it is, let's talk about Edward first, he is sooooo hot. " Er, not, imagine me throwing up guys.

"Well, back afew months ago, before we came here" said alice "Edward used to date this girl called Isaballa Swan. I don't know what he saw in her, he was ugly, just a plain jane. She sure as well was clumsy too. You know what to, we wasted sooo much of our money on that poor thing too. she actually thought i was her socalled best friend, ha yeah right, i was using her, because it was fun and we had nothing more interesting to do at the time. She was ugly and pale as well, and on top of that she was also clumsy. She had, sense in fashion either, everytime we went shopping an i picked out a nice outfit for her, she would scrunch up her ugly face in disgust, gosh, she had no sense at all."

By the time Alice had finished her speech i was fuming. Of course Alice didn't know because she was still babbling, but Rosalie took one look at my face and she knew if Alice didn't shut up i would do some serious damage to her hard as rock porcelain skin. No beauty products would ever be able to make her look as good again.

"Ooh, and here is more" said Pixie, "whilst Edward was 'dating' Isabella Swan, he was actually going out with Tanya Denali, a family friend. I know that he doesn't love her, because he loves me, i know that because when he was dating her, he was also dating me, and we got was further in our relationship than any of them got with Edward. Also, i don't really love Jasper, it is just a little act i put on, i love Edward, i am cheating on Jasper. Aargh, he is just so stupid, i can't believe he hasn't even figured it out yet. And Jasper is soooo ugly covered in those scars. Edward, well Edward is my own personal Adonis. Jasper, he is my own personal hell. A monster, he calls himself that, and i strongly agree. So what have you girls got to say hmmm? Any juicy deets Arabela?"

A stone cold heartless bitch, that is exactly what Alice is. I so badly wanted to rip her to pieces and kill her right here and now, but i have to be patient. I want to torture the family in the worst way possible, and by the looks of it, Rose did too. I am so smart. Thank Heavens that i brought a voice recorder with me and recorded the whole conversation. I now have proof on both Alice and Edward. And now I just need some on Carlisle and Esme.

Everyone was sat in the living room, ha living, anything but, of the Cullen household, including Carlisle and Esme. There was an embarrassing silence heavy in the air. I couldn't stand it any longer and just as i was about to get up and take my leave, Jasper broke the silence.

"How about we play a game of truth or dare?"

Oh, thanks Jasper, boy do i owe him one, because unless he has spoken up things were going to have gotten worse.

Everyone agreed, apart from Carlisle and Esme, of course, the responsible parents.

" I'm starting though" said Jasper. Everyone nodded.

"Ok, Rosalie truth or dare?"

"Dare"

"Ok, i dare you to bring get all of your clothes and burn them all"

She shrugged, and went upstairs to retrieve her clothes whilst we all went outside and i started a fire in the back yard. I could tell that Rose didn't even care about the clothes being burnt, they weren't even her style, they were Alice's. But Alice was a whole other thing to talk about, she stood crying, well, crying as much as cold ones could cry and screaming "Nooooo, take me anything but the clothes, please not the clothes".

Everyone stood sniggering in the background, sometimes, instead of having a walking, talking person as a mate, i really do think that Alice's mate are clothes.

Rose tossed all the clothes into a fire and we al watched, apart from Alice as the clothes turned into ash right before her eyed. I knew Rose would be overjoyed because she would be finally be able to wear her own style of clothes, I didn't want to burst her bubble so i kept my trap shut, but, I can bet you that Alice will drive down in her car to the mall this very night, and at two oclock, in the morning, we will probably be waiting for the mall to open. And i can say that won't be very pleasant because the whole family would probably be squished up in her tiny yellow Porsche, including me trying to find a suitable space whilst Alice would have been sitting in the drivers seat happily inspecting her nails.

When that was over it was Rose's turn to pick somebody. She pretended to be choosing somebody, but we both knew who she was going to pick.

"Emmett, Truth or Dare"

"Awww, come on Rosie, you should have told me the dare straight out because we all knew that i was going to be the man here and choose dare."

"O.K then, I dare you to strip naked and run down the streets singing the song by snakeships and Tinashe. Then you need to go to the mayors house, still naked and skinny dip in their outside pool, and finally, you need to go to Taylor Sweedle's house and ask for a packet of condoms and some birth control pills."

Emmett agreed and stripped but naked. I picked up a nearby camera to record the dare and followed everyone out the door.

Emmett started running down the streets singing:

"All my friends I'm wasted,

Can I heat this club,

Can I drink too much,

On a Friday night I'm wasted,

My eyes are black and red,

I'm crawling back to you babe, X2

The whole population of the female members on the street had stuck their heads outside of windows and doors to get a good look at Emmett's Ding - Dong. Not something I wanted to see. Their eyes were starting to pop out of their eye sockets and their jaws were nearly touching the floor. The edges of their mouths started to collect the sliva and they began to drool.

Next stop was the mayors house. Emmett jumped over the back fence and we all followed, Alice of course complaining. He jumped into the pool. Not such a good idea because know there was barely any water left in the actual pool and there was plenty or water splashed around the outsides. Emmett tried to swim and a few minutes later, they mayor came outside carrying a crow bar. He took one look at Emmett's huge form, not noticing the nakedness and ran back into the house screaming like a girl. We all cracked up laughing and began rolling around on the floor, nearly crying of laughter, me, crying of laughter.

Next we all went to Taylor's house. Emmett knocked on the door whilst we waited in the car. She answered, luckily her parents weren't home.

Her eyes saw Emmett's face and began to go down towards his lower reigon's.

"Hi Taylor, me and me girlfriend were doing you know what, and we forgot condoms. I came to you because you would most likely have them. Oh, and cam i have some birth control pills, just in case, don't want me girl getting pregnant just yet."

"Sure" She nodded going back into the house seeming a bit dissapointed. She came back out a few minutes later carrying what Emmett wanted. She handed them to him.

Emmett said "Thanks and was about to leave"

"Wait" He turned to look at her "If you need anything, just call me" She made a move to grab his bits, but Emmett quickly took a step back looking scared. Rosalie looked pissed and she started to quietly growl.

"Erm, no thanks, bye, i gotta go"

Emmett turned and ran to the car and jumped in.

He looked down and sighed.

"Ah, man, i was on a high thinking of my Rosie, and then look what she made it do, she made it go flat" He whined

Everyone looked at each other and burst out laughing. Sometimes i really do wander what goes on in Emmett's head.

When we got home and Emmett had finally put his clothes back on, it was his turn to dare someone.

He looked around the room.

"Eddy - Kins, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare"

"Hmmmm" Emmett sighed "Always the looser you were."

Edward growled.

"Calm down Eddie"Emmett taunted.

"Are you sure you are not gay and did you really love Bella swan?"

(No offence to gay people)

Everyone suddenly Listened, intent on what Edward had to say.

"No Emmett, i am not gay, and yes i did love Bella Swan"

Liar, he lied right through his teeth. Fucking Bastard .

"Jasper" Said Edward "Truth or Dare"

He thought about it for a moment.

"Dare"

"I Dare you to eat 4 burgers and 5 Hot dogs and a chocolate milkshake. "

Jasper thought about it for a moment before saying

"And what is the forefit?"

"You have to kiss Arabella for 10 seconds, on the lips"

"Arabella, you don't mind do you?"

I shook my head as a no gesture. I didn't mind. Jasper was kind of cute anyway. But i still love my Klaus, i would never cheat on him. Plus i wanted to get back at Alice and also make her Jealous, showing her what she was missing out on. How could she call Jasper ugly, he is anything but. Those scars are not ugly, but a reminder of who he is and a reminder that he fought for our country.

"Well, choice number two it is then. Jasper said coming towards me.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. They didn't feel hard like i was expecting, but they felt like soft new fluffy pillows. I grabbed the hair on the back of his neck and pulled him closer to me. I could tell that he was surprised, but then he did the same thing locking his hands in my hair. The kiss was deep, but before we could get any further, Edward said, time's up. Jasper sighed and leaned back, staying sat next to me. Alice tried to put on a face that showed, Shock, Hurt and Betrayal. Nobody believed her, especially Jasper who was the Empath.

"Alice your last" Said Jasper, "Truth or Dare"

"I choose truth"

"Well then, i dare you to go to the largest shopping mall in America, which is called Mall of America, and it is based in Bloomington Minnesota. You have to break in and steal a large flat screen plasma TV and you also haave to leave you most famous set of clothes there. "

"Option two?" Alice sighed

"You burn all your clothes like Rosalie, but this time it also includes, bags, shoes, make-up, jewellery and all those other necessities. " Alice looked horrified.

"Option one it is then, let's got. "