Chapter 25, this story should be coming to a close within the next few chapters depending on how much I want to drag it out. It almost made me cry writing this toward the end, just thought I would warn you.

Disclaimer: I do not own.

Recap: She watched in horror as he opened his mouth to pull the fangs from his lip. They instantly receded back to normal leaving his lip a bloody mess.

"Why would you do that?" …"I didn't want to cause you any more pain." …"But that's how you claim your mate. Wasn't that the point?"…"No my Kagome, to gain your trust and love for you to share yourself with me, is enough. We can mate anytime, but this was what I desired." …"Yes, this is enough." He whispered softly into her hair

Chapter 25:

Losing Hope

Kagome woke with her limbs tangled with his, his arms loosely draped over her. She laid there for moments just listening to his heart beat against her ear taking in everything that had happened. She had never dreamed that her life would lead her here, to this moment.

Leaning back slightly she saw that the warmth of the morning sun washed over their naked skin. It glowed against his face, like the glow of the fire once had, turning it orange. Seeing that he was still sleeping she took the time to run her fingers over the contours of his arm and over the muscle that clenched in automatic reaction to her touch.

Moving up to trace the planes of his chest she lingered in her touches, realizing she hadn't the night before. She remembered how he had memorized her face with his fingers and smiled at how focused he had been on her. As if something would surely change and he wouldn't catch it.

Slowly, she rolled over onto her other side to catch his hand in hers. She followed the lines of his palm, tracing over his fingers and claws. Raising her hand to flatten against his, she noticed how his hand swallowed hers. All the small things she hadn't realized before was floating to her. The way he held her, the way he had plead for her forgiveness and spoke to her as if she were his world. Maybe she was overstating it, maybe she was making it bigger than it was, but…he had been so…uncharacteristically Sesshoumaru.

His arm tightened around her waist pulling her back against him and she sighed. She could feel his chest rise as he buried his nose against her neck, taking in her scent. She automatically tilted her head to the side and his light growl vibrated against her back. Once again, his whole body relaxed at her scent.

"I never knew I smelled so good." She whispered not wanting to ruin the atmosphere of the room.

"Hmm.." He hummed in the back of his throat as he leaned forward against her back, allowing his hair to fall over her shoulder. Not being able to help herself, she ran her fingers through his silken strands spreading them out over her chest.

"How do you feel?" He asked nuzzling her cheek.

"Sore, but I think I'll manage." Smiling, she let her mind wander back to the one question that always seemed to be on the tip of her tongue.

"What do I smell like?" She asked curiously. He didn't answer for a moment as his finger traced circles over her chest and shoulder, but she was patient. She had learned to wait and listen, sooner or later he would answer her in his own time, his own way. When he did speak his voice was rough, his breath falling sensually against her ear.

"Like the night. Calm, peaceful, subdued, everything your not." She pouted at that and she could hear him chuckle under his breath behind her. Perturbed, she sat up with all intent to throw her clothes on and leave the room when his arm wrapped around her to pull her back down.

"Your not leaving me in this bed alone again." He said pulling her back under the covers. She turned in his arms, her peeved stare going completely unnoticed as he let his eyes close. She would have tried to get up again but there really was no point. Giving up, she let herself relax. Even as his breaths evened back out his fingers continued drawing patters over her skin, running down her arm and between her fingers. She shivered as he ran over her hip and back up her side only pausing briefly where the faded blue marks stained over her ribs.

"I truly am my fathers son." He said so softly it startled her.

"Does that scare you?" She asked watching his face for any reaction.

"Yes." He breathed barely above a whisper. He never once looked at her, his eyes were still closed as if sleeping. She reached out to outline the marks over his cheek. His gold eyes opened slightly to take her in.

"Why?" His hand had stopped, settling over the marks on her ribs. His gold eyes were completely open now, staring at her. She felt like he could see through her, see straight to her soul.

"It means I have to watch you die one day." She saddened, but not for herself. What must it be like to know that you will outlast the person you care about. And not only for a few years, but centuries. He would outlive her by thousands of years still, maybe even longer than that. Any pups they would have, though would live longer than her, would also possibly die sooner than he.

"I wish it had been differently." She said dismayed.

"I don't." His answer surprised her. She would have thought he would have wanted anything but this. But his next words overjoyed her more than she thought they would. "I wouldn't change a thing." She smiled as he let his eyes fall closed again. Though she wished she could lay there all day he and she both needed to get up. So letting the seriousness of their conversation take a backseat she let her playful overbearing attitude he just…adored….bubble to the surface. Not to mention he had started drawing patterns over her body again and she didn't know how much longer she could stand the way his claws tickled her skin.

"Excuse me" She said interrupting the havoc he was causing her body. "Don't you have responsibilities? I don't know, like running your lands or killing unsuspecting pathetic youkai." He peaked an eye open to look at her before letting it close tight again.

"Thought you said even I needed a break." She smiled as he repeated what she had told him in the village.

"Ah, but have you not been taking a break for a week my lord." She tisked pinching his nose lightly. "Don't think I haven't noticed you stalking me." He growled a warning as she poked his side. Giggling she pulled at a strand of his hair that hung over his shoulder.

"You've lost your threat Sesshoumaru. I'm sad to say you have backtracked…lost you evilness…completely pup-sized yourself." She giggled at the made up word. Though obviously he didn't agree because suddenly she was under him, her hands pinned by her head. For an instant his eyes narrowed on her, his snarl pulling his lips back over his teeth. She might have looked worried for a fraction of a second before the corners of her mouth pulled back into a smile.

"You like my prodding." For the first time he sighed. Dropping his head toward her shoulder he took in the scent that covered her skin. No matter how many times he caught it he couldn't seem to get enough.

"I thought we were having a moment." He finally said lifting his head to stare down at her in his displeasure.

"We were, a really good one at that." She smiled before considering why she really did need to get up. "But you do have things you need to do…as well as I." He had rolled off of her and was sitting at the edge of the bed now. Reaching up to twirl the jewel between her fingers she thought of the last shard and what she would need to do from there. "I need to speak with Sazue." She said absently pulling the covers over her as she sat up. "I thought I saw a stream out back that I could…" She stopped when his whole body went rigid.

"Use the pond you burned the flowers in." She moved behind him so she could rest her hand over his shoulder. His tension eased with her gentle touch.

"But…the pond…" She tried again not seeing his reason for diverting her.

He turned sharply to look at her then, his eyes letting her know just how serious he was.

"Do not!" He said his voice giving her the chills. "Do not!, use the stream behind the mansion."

"You shouldn't have told me that, you know I'm curious by nature." He caught her hand and his grip was harsh though not bruising.

"This is not a game miko, do not disobey me. For your life, do not disobey me this." She frowned and jerked her hand out of his grasp.

"Ok Sesshoumaru, I promise." He seemed relieved by her answer. Though on the inside she was running through the ways she could tell him to stuff that order. She probably should have listened to that too. You would think by now she would have learned to listen to him when he told her something.

Of course, being the miko she was, what did she do? As soon as he had left her to herself she instantly dressed and went in search of the doomed stream. She hadn't planned on going far, just enough to see the area since she had only just barely made out the stream in her earlier exploration of the mansion , surely that wouldn't get her into trouble. Just taking a little closer look. One glimpse and she would go back around to the small little insignificant pond to call for Sazue. Though, it didn't quite work that way. Nothing ever worked out the way she planned these days. She was sure she would throw this into the 'regret I ever did it' pile.

As soon as she came around the corner the jewel started glowing a whitish blue around her neck. It rose off her skin pulling against the chain. It was being beckoned, but by what? That soft music flowed through her head but she took a step back remembering how serious Sesshoumaru had been. It didn't look like anything extraordinary to her, a stream with what looked like a large dojo surrounding it off to the side. Surprisingly though, it wasn't the stream that called to her. So she instantly knew it wasn't Sazue. Every instinct she had told her to turn back.

For her life's sake she did try, she really did try to turn back, but like she had told him, her curiosity got the best of her. She stepped forward holding the thought that he wouldn't ever harm her in her mind. No, surely he wouldn't harm her, he had promised that to her last night. But then again, that was last night and there were worse ways to punish someone.

Biting her lip she let the jewel pull her closer to the building. The jewel knew best right? It knew what was good for her, what she needed. Looking around to make sure no one saw her, she slid open the door and stepped inside. The room was empty except for the mirrors that lined its walls. Everywhere she looked she saw her reflection. The jewel suddenly dropped back against her neck. It was warm against her flesh but she was distracted by the music. It was different, and yet the same. It was light, and calm, yet it held some unseen danger.

Miko…

She turned at the voice but could see nothing unusual. There was no one in sight.

Miko…touch the mirror if you wish. I would very much like to speak with thee.

"Why have you called me here?" Kagome asked the empty room.

Touch the mirror miko…

The voice held amusement and she was slightly aware of the ice it held. Not really knowing what to do she stepped forward and pressed her finger against the mirror. The whole room lit up with a red glow and suddenly she was staring at a woman with bluish white hair, the red markings over her cheeks marking her once as Lady of the West.

"But your…" She couldn't speak as the woman turned her gold eyes on her. A light smile playing at her lips.

Sesshoumaru's mother miko, yes…

Kagome crossed her arms. "You realize your son is going to kill me and its all your fault."

He does not have to know.

Kagome watched as her figure moved from one mirror to the next as if she were walking around her analyzing her.

"Why did you call me here?" She asked making herself dizzy trying to keep up with her movements.

You are my son's Destined Mate are you not.

A blush rose on her cheeks as she gave a slight nod.

What will you do miko when you find the last jewel shard? I have listened and watched, and you realize my concern for my son's future. He has never had such a strong fondness for humans, but even I can't deny him of his destiny. He has fallen for you in more ways than one. You see, I can't allow you to simply leave.

Kagome ground her teeth and took a step back at the venom she head buried under that calm exterior. What was it with these inuyoukai about control.

"I honestly don't know what I will do. I assure you that I understand your concern. I am a threat to you both, and my leaving would ruin him now. But I must do what I must. The jewel must be finished." Her eyes clouded at the thought of what could happen. She looked back up at the figure to see that her soft features had turned harsh, angry. Seeing Kagome's reaction her features changed back to a soft smile.

Come closer miko, let me see you.

Kagome was hesitant, but she was drawn, pulled toward the mirror where the woman's figure stood. She was so close now she could make out the lines on her face, she had lived a hard life, this youkai. The woman reached toward her, the mirror shimmering as she drew close to the glass. Kagome realized the jewel lifting from her neck and quickly snatched it back. The woman's features once again turned hateful. She slammed her fists against the mirror and Kagome was pushed back by an invisible force.

He will never allow you to leave! You mustn't finish the jewel and your foolish to think he would let you! Do you have any idea the consequences? Why do you think he hides it away!

Anger rocked her as she steadied herself and tucked the jewel under her collar. Her words finally registered in her mind and she stumbled back.

"What? What do you mean he hides it away?" She asked, her frustration creasing her brow. The woman laughed as she moved around the walls of the dojo.

Foolish girl. Did you think you had a choice! Did you think he would just let you go home to leave him to rot?

Her figure multiplied to show on all the mirrors. Kagome couldn't breath, the red glow was blinding her now, suffocating her. She ran from the dojo, the door slamming shut behind her. She tripped and fell to the ground, the mud from the riverbank splashing up in her face and coating her hands. Looking over her shoulder the dojo was back to normal. A quiet surrounded the area, the only sound was that of the stream. Pushing herself to her feet she ran, ran as far as she could from the area, from the dojo, from his mother's figure. From her would be truths.

She didn't stop to take a breath or even think until she was sinking low in one of the many springs in the mansion. The steam clung to her skin clearing her mind. The jewel hung harmlessly around her neck. Why would it have led me there? It was because she was youkai, she wanted the jewel. No, that couldn't have been it. There must be a real reason behind it. But for the life of her she couldn't see it. Her mind kept replaying one particular part.

Why do you think he hides it away!

Why would…She shook her head not wanting to remember her words. They couldn't have been true. He wouldn't do that, not after everything, not after what they had been through. He had even told her from the start that he would willingly let her go even if it would hurt him in the end. No, she was wrong…she was lying. Coming to terms with that wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.

She was so occupied by the thoughts of her reasoning that she forgot she hadn't been allowed back there. She had made herself believe that he wouldn't find out but she had forgotten one little thing. He could smell her, her scent clung to everything she touched, everywhere she went.

The door of the spring slammed open and with one glance, she knew he knew.

"Sesshoumaru…" She asked hoping she was wrong. Wrapping her arms around herself she moved back against the side and sank down in the water.

"What did I say! Why can't you ever listen!" He came around and pulled her up by her arm pinching her skin. She turned to look at him and he pushed her back into the wall. He looked pissed, royally pissed. The growls that racked him now were not those light purring growls she had heard the night before. No, he was furious. He slammed his fist into the wall by her head and she flinched.

"Don't you think there was a reason I told you no! Just once, just once I asked you to mind me."

"Your angry with me!" She finally yelled back finding her courage, which was hard to do naked in front of an angry youkai. " Where is the last shard Sesshoumaru?" Anger distorted his features and she knew she had made a mistake. She knew instantly that she should have waited to confront him.

She could tell he badly wanted to hit her, beat her, something anything. She half expected it as she closed her eyes, waiting. One second she was waiting, expecting, the next she was turned with her front pressed against the spring wall, his naked body hard against her back his forgotten clothes laying on the floor.

"Next time you will listen." He growled harshly against her ear as he nudged her legs apart and slammed into her. Her body convulsed at the unexpected intrusion. He wasn't careful or controlled. He was furious. Fiery guided him as he entered her over and over until her legs were weak. She came twice before he turned her to face him. But he wasn't done, his eyes were dark as he lifted her legs around him and entered her again.

"Sesshoumaru…"She pleaded. "I can't take anymore." He nipped her neck roughly, his fangs leaving pinpricks in her neck. She held his head against her shoulder as he pinched and nipped her skin. His claws dug into her sides, leaving welts where he allowed just a hint of his poison to touch her but the pain was welcomed. It mixed with his fierce pleasure and shook her until she couldn't stand it. She cried out as they came together. After moments his body seemed to ease, the anger flooding out of him, being taken out on her and washed away. His forehead rested against hers, his eyes were closed and his breaths were shallow as they fell across her cheek. Hesitantly, she reached her hands up to cup his face and his eyes opened meeting hers.

"Did I hurt you?" She didn't know what she expected, but those words were not it. She smiled shaking her head, her laughter flooding her eyes. "Your infuriating."

"I know." She agreed.

"You should have listened you stupid girl."

"Trust me I know. I will follow your orders to the letter from now on." With his forehead still pressed against hers he let the corner of his mouth quirk upwards.

"You met my mother." He said smirking.

"She is a very very unhappy youkai." She said pursing her lips. "And you have some explaining to do, whenever your done being angry with me of course."

"Of course." He agreed taking in her nonchalant attitude toward what he had just done.

"Though I quite like the affect it has." She added as if it were just coming to her attention. He growled low in his chest as he nuzzled her neck and licked over the marks his fangs left.

"Why didn't your fangs lengthen to mark me?" She asked noticing his fangs had remained the same.

"I was too angry with you to want a mate that doesn't listen." He said simply. He said it so evenly she thought he was serious. That is until he leaned back and eyed her curiously as if waiting for her to catch his lie.

"You shouldn't lie my lord. Its dishonoring."

0o0o0o0o0o0

After that incident she decided she wouldn't wander around anymore. Everyone had skeletons in their closets but he had the whole damn thing. Yea, it was safe to say she would never doubt him again. She actually stayed by his side most the day after that. Rin had left with Jaken on Ah Un to gather supplies for the servants so she really had nothing better to do. Though she did do some snooping.

As he worked over his desk she read over the titles of the library of books he had on the shelves. It was like a bookstore without the hassle of paying. Just for curiosity's sake, she read on mating and it didn't really say anything about Destined Mates. Mostly because of how rare it was. She found herself getting carried away by their rules and traditions. She didn't bother him often just randomly for him to clear something up.

She would have thought her bothersome but she would catch him staring at her from time to time, just watching her. He was probably amazed that she was taking the time to see his life how it really was. She hadn't lied, she didn't want him to be made to suffer alone simply because she was selfish and wanted to go home.

Home… It sounded really good, but the longer she stayed with him, the longer she had time to read up about him and talk with him and hear him speak to her as if she were his equal, she lost track of time and purpose. Home didn't seem so important anymore.

Neither did the jewel shard. He admitted to her that he had it so she supposed that the jewel leading her to his mother did have a purpose. He had hoped to use it on Rin to help lengthen her life but it had been a mute point. The shard had no affect on humans. Though she was hesitant to take it. The longer she was with him the less she wanted to touch it, be near it. He locked it away in his drawer and she would glance its way from time to time but she had no interest in attaching it to the jewel around her neck.

After a while she realized it was fear that held her back. She didn't know when she had realized it, but she was afraid it would send her back home and throw away the key. She had grown attached, in more ways than one, to Sesshoumaru, to his castle, to Rin.

Hours passed, days, months. She remained by his side for four months, and he remained by hers. After that first day it had nothing to do with being sexual, he walked with her, sat with her, spoke with her. To be honest they spend very little time in his room. She had become accustom to staying up late into the night watching the stars from the balcony. Though she told herself she was fine, she knew she didn't sleep because she would see Sazue calling to her.

Since the middle of the second month she had been persistent in her dreams, as if she could tell she was hesitating while the shard was right there for the taking. So she didn't sleep. Sesshoumaru would hold her tight and trace his patterns over her back as she told him about her time. In the last four months this had become normal, but he was starting to feel her unease just as she was toward Sazue. The jewel would glow when she walked by the small pond, so after a while she even avoided that. But finally, it had become inevitable.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

She blew her bangs up out of her eyes as a shooting star took off across the sky. She would have made a wish but that's what the jewel was for. Sesshoumaru came up behind her, she didn't have to turn to know it was him. She could sense him better than she could anyone else. She would know him better than her own mother at this point. He came around, his hand cupping her neck. She instinctively turned her face toward him and his fingers traveled up the column of her throat.

"You should speak with her." He said. She knew he would. She knew she needed to as well. "See what she says, then decide." She could hear the desolate note in his voice. He knew what would come just as she did. She didn't need Sazue to tell her. But for hope's sake she would speak with her, hope that she was wrong.

Finally getting up from her seat she turned to him. His golden eyes had lightened over the months, showing her emotions she hadn't thought possible for him. She slide her arms around his waist and flattened her cheek to his chest. Her favorite past time had become this, listening to the rhythm of his heart beat in time to her own. His fingers combed through her hair just like they always would. She sighed knowing what she had to do.

With his hand flat against the base of her spine, he followed her out into the garden. The moon shown in the pond water with a shimmer that she remembered all to well. She paused only a moment to remove the jewel from around her neck before stepping forward. Sesshoumaru stayed where he was and she glanced back at him to see him give her that curt nod in reassurance.

Opening her palms out over the pond she let the mostly blue jewel roll over her fingers.

"Sazue." She called disheartened. "I need your guidance."

That familiar white light formed in the center of the pond. In moments, Sazue's transparent figure floated out from the pond to move toward her. She didn't speak, she simple walked around her, briefly eyeing Sesshoumaru as she made a complete round to stand back in front of her. Her smile was honest and sincere.

Kagome, my dear Kagome

I can feel your pain. Why haven't you called on me before now?

Her question was light, calm. She was not harsh or judging. And under her questioning eyes Kagome broke. Falling to her knees she bowed her head.

"I have been afraid." She could feel Sazue's presence as her figure kneeled down at her side. Her ghostly white fingers warmed her chin letting her know she wanted to look at her.

You have made me proud and you have gone farther than any miko has, but it is time. The jewel needs to be complete. Its power is unbalanced when it is broken. Do you understand Kagome?

Her voice was careful, knowing that at any moment she would lose herself. Lose herself to what she wanted instead of what she needed to do. But finally, after a moment, she nodded.

"Yes, I understand." Sazue's figure tilted its head to the side analyzing her. Her eyes turned to Sesshoumaru then.

You have had a hard road Mi'Lord. I am joyous that you have found the happiness you so long searched for.

Her tone should have been appraising, but it was deafening. It tore at not only her heart but at his as well.

Ask your question child.

She said switching back to Kagome. She only shook her head not wanting to hear the answer. Not wanting to be reminded. But she had to, if only to be sure it was true.

"What happens when I add the last piece to the jewel?" She heard herself ask though it didn't sound like her. She used to be so happy and full of life, now her voice was laced with dread. The moment she saw Sazue's face she knew. Before she even said anything in answer she knew. She wrapped her arms around herself, letting her forehead touch the ground she sat upon. The tears rolled like coals down her face, scorching her cheeks. She could feel Sesshoumaru at her back now, leaning over her bent form, holding her the best he could.

You will have one wish Kagome. Make it wisely for it is only one. Once the wish has been seen through your mind, once it has left your lips, the jewel will throw you back from whence you came. You will remember all, your memories will remain, but you will never be allowed back here again. With your wish the jewel itself will disappear, no one will be able to use it again.

Sazue's eyes were filled with her own tears as the emotions washed over her through them. Kagome shook her head rapidly, not wanting to believe her words. Sesshoumaru brushed her hair to one side off her neck. His fingers on her were harsh reminders of what she would leave behind.

Sazue took a step back. There was nothing left for her to say. She slowly moved back to the white circle at the center of the pond. With a single tear falling down her cheek to ripple against the water, she disappeared, the light fading with her along with all their hope.