A/N: I am not JRRTolkien. I wish to make no profit from this story.
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Eowyn stood by the pillars outside the front doors to the Golden Hall. The wind whipped and teased her clothing around her, but she stayed still as she watched the riders disappear into the horizon. How often have I done this? She wondered idly as the riders shrank smaller and smaller, the four on ponies were almost invisible to the eye at this point.
By her side, Eomer shifted his weight from foot to foot, and Eowyn observed him from the corner of her eyes. He was looking out over the fields with an almost wistful look on his face. No doubt wishing he were riding too, Eowyn thought, suppressing a smile, but realizing that he has other guests to entertain.
At last the riders were gone from sight. Perhaps the last time Rohan will have such illustrious company. Eowyn was a little wistful. It was unfortunate to see the Elves, and the remainder of the Companions leave, and bitter to finally say farewell to Merry.
"Do you wish to go inside, or stay out a bit longer?" Eomer asked, breaking their silence.
"I'll walk in with you," Eowyn replied. "We should see what the rest of our guests wish to do with the day."
It was almost too polite between them, but Eowyn didn't know how to even begin to repair their relationship. What was our relationship before... before a year ago? She pondered, trying to remember.
Inside the Golden Hall were a few remnants of the guests, some only just coming in to breakfast. The final farewell banquet had gone on long into the night, though those riding showed no sign of weariness when they gathered to set off.
Seated around the head table were Faramir, Lothiriel and the Prince Imrahil. Eowyn still felt shy around Prince Imrahil, though he had welcomed her kindly to his family, and promised to allow Lothiriel to spend some time in Rohan before the wedding if it were in his power.
When they drew close Faramir stood, and assisted Eowyn to a seat next to him. "Good morning, my lady," he greeted her with a quick kiss on her hand. "What are your plans for the day?"
"I have none my lord," Eowyn smiled in response. "But I think it is a good day for a ride if you are game."
"As long as I am with you, I would be up to almost anything." Faramir replied with a small laugh. He turned to Prince Imrahil and Lothiriel. "Uncle, cousin would you care to join us?"
"I'm afraid I am too old to have the stamina that you young folk seem to have," Prince Imrahil said gravely, though his eyes were sparkling. "I do not have the energy to ride so soon after last night. Lothiriel may join you if she pleases. Her brothers should be here too, but they seem to be too old to arise at a decent hour after what ever they were doing last night."
Lothiriel quickly covered her smile with her hand, and after schooling her features she said, "Father the day you are too old for a morning ride is the day they put the rest of us to pasture. I suspect that Eomer King has given you leave to see the books that are written in Rohirric, and that it is too much of a temptation for you to pass up."
Prince Imrahil gently pulled a loose strand of Lothiriel's hair. "You are too wise and clever for your youth daughter. I confess it is so, but it is still no reason for you to avoid the morning sun, bookworm though you are."
"At least I come by it honestly, my lord," Lothiriel replied demurely, though her eyes danced mischief. Turning to Eowyn and Faramir she added, "I would be honored to join you, only let me invite Queen Arwen. She may wish… for some sunshine too." She faltered for a moment, trying to find a diplomatic way to say that she expected her Queen to be lonely after saying farewell to her family.
"We will wait for you at the stables." Faramir promised as Lothiriel rose to go.
"Eomer, would you like to join us?" Eowyn asked quietly, not quite looking at him.
Eomer was stunned for a second, but replied, "Yes, I would. Let me go arrange a guard for us and I will meet you down at the stables."
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It was at least a half hour later before they were organized and ready to go. Queen Arwen decided to join them, and she and Lothiriel were just coming down to the stables dressed in riding skirts as the horses were being led out. Eowyn and Faramir were already seated, and Eomer was riding up when Lothiriel cried out in dismay.
"What is it?" Eowyn asked, confused.
"The men who saddle my horse always forgets to put on a regular saddle when I'm not riding for court purposes." Lothiriel sighed, pointing at her saddle.
"Do you want to send her back?" Faramir asked, as Queen Arwen mounted her horse. She rode as her people did, without harness or saddle.
"No," Lothiriel grumbled and pulled herself up into the sidesaddle. "I won't make you wait, and I can ride either way. This is just more of a pain for me."
"What should be our destination?" Eomer asked. "We could do about an hour's ride out to some of the foothills of the Misty Mountains. There are a few wondrous views from there."
As no one had a different suggestion, they settled that as their goal, and soon were galloping across the plains of Rohan.
The ride there was uneventful. After the initial gallop they had alternated walking and cantering a bit. Though their horses could go faster for longer distances, no one saw the need to exhaust themselves or their mounts.
They reached the foothills and rested for a bit before preparing to ride back. After a few minutes of walking their horses, they picked up into a canter and began to move towards a gallop when a pair of larks flew up from the tall grass. Windfola and Firefoot, who were used to such behavior from birds, slowed a bit and moved away from the area the birds flew from. Queen Arwen's horse, Tirielen, didn't seem concerned by the birds. However Faramir's horse started and shied, and Lothiriel's horse panicked.
Her horse reared, eyes rolling in fear, and stamped down hard. Lothiriel held on through the first toss, and when her horse landed she tried murmuring reassurances to no avail. Her horse reared up again, this time throwing Lothiriel in the process.
Almost as soon as she hit the ground Eowyn was out of her saddle running to her friend. Queen Arwen also dismounted and grabbed the reins of the still frightened mare, speaking softly in Elfish. Faramir and Eomer were a breath behind Eowyn, moving to Lothiriel with all possible speed.
Lothiriel was lying on the ground with one hand across her eyes. "Please tell me that did not just happen." She whispered.
"Lothiriel!" Eowyn exclaimed. "Are you hurt?"
Lothiriel took her hand away from her face and looked up at her friend. "I swear, my brothers will never let me live this down. I was thrown from my horse, not because of any dangerous or reckless riding but because of a couple of birds."
"Are you hurt?" Faramir repeated insistently. "Anything broken?"
Carefully Lothiriel moved her arms and legs. "It appears not." She replied finally. "Thankfully not. That would add injury to insult." She added with a small laugh, but made no movement to get off the ground.
"Can you sit up?" Eowyn asked.
"I'll try that when the world stops spinning a little bit." Lothiriel sighed and looked at the guards and then at Eomer. "I don't suppose there is any way I could convince your guards to forget they ever saw this, Eomer King?"
"It's unlikely." Eomer replied smothering a smile.
"I was thrown from my horse in front of the Horselords of Rohan." Lothiriel shook her head slightly. Faramir smothered a chuckle, drawing her attention. "As though you were never thrown from a horse, cousin Faramir."
"Men don't get thrown from horses, Lady Lothiriel," Eomer replied gravely.
"That's interesting, brother," Eowyn laughed. "I seem to recall an incident involving a young Rider of Rohan and a young untrained horse…"
"Oh don't tell that story again!" Eomer cried laughing in return. "Neither of them will have any respect for me. Besides, I can recall a story or two of a young Shieldmaiden…"
"Eomer, you wouldn't dare." Eowyn broke in, blushing slightly.
Lothiriel laughed. "You sound just like my brothers and I, always remind each other of our best mistakes, and biggest failures. We say it keeps us humble, but it mostly reminds us how much fun it is to be around each other." She sat up gingerly. "I am going to be black and blue later." She sighed mournfully, and slowly got to her feet leaning on Faramir and Eowyn. When she was standing she whistled to her horse, which reluctantly left Queen Arwen's hold and walked over. "What was that Mistress Meri? We have jumping fish that you don't scare at, we even have birds in Dol Amroth, and you don't start when you see them." Lothiriel gently stroked her horse's nose. "You big goose."
"Do you feel well enough to ride alone?" Eowyn asked.
Lothiriel gently stretched. "I should be able to," she laughed. "I suppose this is the moment to redeem myself a little in your men's eyes."
"It's your saddle," Eomer pointed out bluntly.
"It is," Lothiriel agreed sadly, hoisting herself back into it. "Queen Arwen you should ban side saddles from the country. All saddles must be from Rohan, or else you ride bareback like the Elves."
"I'll bring it up with the King," Queen Arwen replied with suppressed humor. "You could create a new fashion though just by riding on a Rohirric saddle when we arrive back in Gondor."
"I should have one made up for me," Lothiriel agreed as they started back. "I do have an astride saddle, but our stable hands are more fastidious than my father when it comes to what is proper."
"Or they want to see you married," Faramir pointed out.
"There is truth in that." Lothiriel laughed, "I've always heard that the best way to catch a husband is to be thrown from a horse."
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They picked up a gallop after Lothiriel reassured them many times that she was fine, and all conversation ended. This suited Eowyn, as she lost herself to her thoughts. She and her brother used to tease each other. The recollection of "how it used to be" was almost painful. Her brother would make some comment, and instead of becoming defensive or shutting down, she would respond back in kind.
Eowyn glanced over at Eomer. Do I want that again?
She was torn. A part of her answered Yes of course. But there was another part of her, a much larger part, which felt tired and hurt beyond measure. It feels like there is a spark of the "old me" somewhere inside. But I am so different now than that girl before. I don't know if I can become her again. She glanced at Faramir. I don't know if I even want to try.
We all changed in the war. Eomer, Faramir, the Riders from Helm's Deep and the Pelinor Fields… even Lothiriel shows flashes of the person she was before. But to go back to before… Eowyn shivered and subconsciously checked her horse's speed as the others drew back into a canter.
I want to be here. The thought flitted across her mind almost subconsciously, and it took a second for her to realize exactly what she meant. When she realized the full impact of her thought she pulled Windfola in suddenly. It was all she could do to stay in her seat, as she was sickened by the implication. Is that so? A cold voice asked her. You want to be here? With out your father, or mother, or uncle, or cousin? You are crueler than me.
"No," Eowyn whispered absently. "That's not what I meant."
She didn't notice the others sharply turn their horses back to meet her where she stopped. But, she did notice when a hand came close, but not too close, offering her one of the small white clothes Gondorians always seemed to have on them. She also vaguely noticed that Lothiriel had swung her horse in front of Eomer's, halting his progress.
However, as she took Faramir's offering she was the most aware of the look in his eyes. He understands. Almost too well he understands. But she had to tell him anyways.
"I'm not who I was before…" She trailed off, unsure where to point to – before the war? Before Theodred died? Before her Father died?
He smiled bitterly. "I know. Neither am I."
"But, I realized that there are parts of that person still inside of me."
"As came out when you teased your brother."
Eowyn nodded, and then carefully said, "However, I do not think I want to truly be her again," Faramir started to interrupt, but stopped when Eowyn held up her hand. He gestured for her to continue. "I do not want to ever go back because I am…" The thought that was so simple in her head was becoming tangled. Faramir waited, keeping his expression open. "I am sorry for it all. Theodred, Theoden, your brother, your father, for losing myself years ago… and yet I realized that I cannot regret it. Do you understand me?"
"It is strange, but I do." Faramir replied, gently tracing the tear track that lingered on her face and then erasing it. "Why did you stop so suddenly just now?"
"I realized that I cannot go back to who I was, and I don't know who I will be in the future, but I want to find out… with you." She looked up at him tentatively.
Faramir took her hand and kissed it tenderly, completely speechless.
Eowyn struggled to think of how to say the next part. "Is it wrong to want to be where I am now?" She couldn't hide how important this question was to her.
Faramir thought for a moment before answering. "If you were happy because of all the evil that has happened, then it would not be a good thing. But, I think it would also be wrong, and an insult to the memory of those we loved, to continually live in regret. I think your Uncle and Cousin would want you to be happy, even if they are not here to share in your joy."
Eowyn nodded, thinking Faramir's words through. "Do you regret it?" She asked, not able to look up at him for fear that his face would show a truth she didn't want to see.
Faramir waited until her eyes flicked up to his, and smiled gently. "I regret losing my brother. I regret losing too many of my dear friends. But even if I were offered a chance to go back and try again, try to make everything right, I do not think I could take it, unless I knew for certain that our paths would cross again at the end." Faramir paused as he thought it through. "Although, if I went back with all of the knowledge that I have now, you would not have been able to escape meeting me, even if I had to ride to Rohan after the war was over to meet you."
Eowyn had to smile at that picture. "What, do you laugh at the thought of me riding in to Rohan with the express purpose of marring you?" Faramir teased.
"I am trying to picture my cousin's reaction to you." Eowyn replied, with a broader smile. "If we had met in brighter days when he was still living, he would have been reluctant to let me live in Gondor, more so than Eomer is now. Theodred truly valued having Eomer and I close by."
"I would have less to offer you as a future husband." Faramir added. "Belike all the titles I have now would have gone to my brother as they truly belong. It would have been hard to convince your cousin and uncle to wed you to a second son of Gondor, you might have chosen Boromir instead."
Eowyn considered it for a moment, Faramir's insecurity was clearly written on his face. "Perhaps it would have been harder to convince them," she replied slowly. "But my children would be long down the list of heirs to the Rohirric Thrown. I would have been allowed to choose with out anyone questioning my choice, and having briefly met your brother once when he came to ask Theoden King for a horse to ride to Rivendell on, I know my choice would have stayed the same. I'm afraid you would find yourself married to me no matter what pretend situation you paint for yourself."
"I love how that sounds." Faramir smiled. They looked around and saw that Eomer, Lothiriel and Queen Arwen had moved their horses a little ways from them.
"What happens next?" Eowyn asked, glancing nervously at her brother, whose horse was shifting uneasily, reflecting his rider's mood.
"Next we go back to your home and enjoy the time that we have with each other."
Eowyn nodded. "I'd like that," she replied.
"We still have a lot of plans to make, I know Lothiriel is looking forward to planning our wedding with you, and we still have decisions to make for our house." Faramir looked closely at Eowyn. "Are you ready to go back to Meduseld?"
"Eomer is ready," Eowyn gestured towards him, "Look at how his horse paces."
"I am not concerned about Eomer. I am asking you."
"As long as I am with you, I am up for almost anything," she smiled, echoing his words from this morning.
Faramir carefully leaned in and kissed Eowyn. "I'm glad that we're in Rohan, where that is allowed." He joked.
"I wouldn't put it past my brother to try to make Rohan more like Gondor as far as liberties are concerned. Just look at him frown." Eowyn tried to laugh back, but her worry was still evident.
"As long as you are smiling I will have nothing to worry about." Faramir replied seriously. "I must tell you," he added as they started to move their horses towards the rest of their group, "that I care much more for your happiness than your brother's."
Eowyn looked over fast enough to see that Faramir's eyes were laughing, though his face was serious.
"Does your King know that you speak nonsense?"
"He knows that I would do anything to please you."
"I am pleased." Eowyn replied, looking directly at Faramir. "I am always pleased when I am with you." Faramir shook his head, and was about to say something, but Eowyn held up her hand to stop him. "I want you to know this. You make me happy, and safe. No one else has ever made me feel the same, and" she paused, realizing that they were within earshot of the rest of the group, but boldly went on, "I love you. You give me strength to find myself again."
"I love you too," Faramir replied, though his voice was grave his eyes were giving her another message that made Eowyn flush slightly.
"How are you?" Lothiriel asked Eowyn when they reached the group. "Do you feel better?"
"I do, and I will feel even better in just over eight months." Eowyn smiled at her.
"I am glad to hear it." Lothiriel smiled even brighter. "The months will go by swiftly, and the Queen has agreed to let me travel back to visit you for a month or two before you come to us for good." Eowyn glanced at Queen Arwen, who nodded her agreement.
"If there is a way for the Lord Faramir to visit, I will try to see it happen as well. I know what it is to be long separated from the one you love." Queen Arwen added.
Eowyn smiled her thanks, unable to speak. She turned to look at her brother, who was watching her with an unreadable expression.
"Let us ride back." He said. "The day draws on."
Eowyn made sure her horse was right next to Faramir's as they galloped in through the gates. I am glad to be back, she thought as she stole a glance at Faramir. As enjoyable as their ride was, he was right. They had plans to make.
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A/N: I am starting to wrap up this story, and think through another one. I plan to do one final chapter for this one (an epilogue) and then I will probably go back and write my version of how Lothiriel and Eomer finally fell in love in my plot line, which will fill in some of the holes between this chapter and the epilogue. I also may do a short series of outtakes if I can't work in everything with Lothiriel's story.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my last chapter, all those who did. Please feel free to let me know what mistakes I've made, or what you think of this chapter!
Thank you for reading!