A/N: So, I'm posting this out of airing order. My CMM schedule was set in a perfect world in which Obama held that press conference on a Tuesday, thereby not interruping Chuck's post-Super Bowl viewer-gaining momentum, and not forcing a reshuffling of the episodes that caused no small number of continuity issues. (Of course, in this world, Chuck became NBC's highest-rated show, got a full-season order, and is currently airing new episodes, thus disposing of Chuck Me Mondays altogether. Quite the paradox, no?)

Did anyone else think that Devon's easy handling of all the wedding preparations was a little suspect? He spent the first half of the episode whining about how he didn't have time to deal with that stuff, and then it was just done at the end with a snap of his fingers. Maybe this is how he managed that...

I don't own Chuck. I have a stockpile of moderately clever ways to say that, but I'm saving those for my full-length stories...

Chapter 26: Awesome vs. the Best Friend

"Crap," Devon muttered. He'd been in trouble with Ellie often enough that he was now good at recognizing it, and he was definitely in trouble this time. Of course, the fact that he was engaged also suggested that he was pretty decent at escaping from any trouble he got into. And he had an idea for how to do that once again: he'd not only take care of his half of the wedding preparations, but hers as well.

Unfortunately, that meant he actually had to deal with wedding stuff. And he had very little idea what to do with any of it. He did, however, know someone who'd be happy to help. He hesitated, knowing the potential ramifications of his decision, but picked up the phone and dialed.

"Mom? Hey, it's Devon. Yeah, it's good to hear your voice too. Say, I was wondering… would you mind helping me out on a couple of wedding details?" He held the phone away from his ear briefly to let Honey's happy outburst subside. "Thanks. Let's talk about flowers first. Ellie had the choices down to roses, daisies, or carnations. Roses? Go with the classic? Gotcha. Yeah, I agree that daisies are a little too colorless.

"Okay, now the cake. You remember the samples we tasted, right? Oh, you took notes? And you have them immediately available. Great. I think our finalists there were carrot, German chocolate, and angel food. Carrot? Sure, definitely important to be health conscious when picking a wedding cake. Awesome choice.

"How about the main course for the reception? Picking between chicken and fish. Yeah, I know you liked the beef… I'll talk to her. But avoid chicken at all costs? Totally cliché, right.

"I think the centerpieces are the last thing on the list. We've got the mixed flowers, the glittery hearts, and the cupids. Mm hmm. Right, mostly-naked fat babies with weapons would give it a total Renaissance feel. No, I agree. Sorry about that.

"Thanks for the help, Mom. Yup. Yeah, love you too. Bye."

Devon hung up and looked at the sheet of paper he'd been using to take notes.

Flowers: Daisies

Cake: Angel food

Main course: Chicken

Centerpieces: Mixed flowers

His mom was going to be mad. But based on his extensive experience in doghouse escapes, this idea was absolute money in the bank.