Lost Ones

Recently, I've been thinking about my current state. "Born" when the Riku Replica attempted to drain power from my former self, I am composed of nothing but my soul and a mass of Twilight energy, only alive because my soul bonded with it at the last second before death.

Apparently, the Riku Replica's plan to absorb my power failed miserably. All he succeeded in doing was destroying my body itself--as far as I can tell, most of the Twilight energy stored within, the source of my powers, is still intact. It's no surprise he was killed by the real Riku--though he believed that killing me gave him some new power that the real Riku never had, he was mistaken: the two of them were evenly matched at the time of their battle.

After thoroughly studying myself, I've finally decided on a name for this state of living energy.

A "Lost One," stripped of physical existence yet not truly dead. Invisible and immaterial to both the physical world of those who are alive and the unknown, soul-composed world beyond--if there is such a thing.

And, it seems, I am not the only Lost One in existence. Out of what had to be a freak accident, two masses of living energy passed each other by one day, drifting throughout the worlds on the edge of sanity and observing current events without the ability to intervene that we once had.

There is another who shares my matterless existence. One who has experienced this form of existence for many years longer than I have... she is the Keyblade wielder who we fought years before.

Apparently, Xigbar's energy vortex did not kill her--it destroyed her body, but the extreme gravity of it concentrated the Twilight energy she carried within her and allowed her soul to bond with that rather than the body which no longer existed.

That is the reason why her Keyblade disappeared before Xigbar could reach it--in her new state, the Keyblade had no way of drawing on her energy without damaging her. So it flashed and faded away, drifting off to wherever it is that Keyblades go when they are not being used.

It seems that this girl, once a person who would rush into a senseless battle with no reason beyond "You aren't supposed to exist," has changed during her time as a drifting being of energy. Though she no longer possesses a body to show the process of age, her mind has developed at a normal rate--and she's grown out of her senseless hatred of Nobodies, now that she too understands what it's like to be considered "nonexistant" by the majority of the population.

Though I can't say our first meeting was peaceful, it was somewhat of a relief for me--I am no longer alone. She's nothing special as far as intelligence goes, which seems to be typical of Keyblade wielders, but a conversation with a lesser mind is still far better than talking to yourself--or to nothing.

Ever since the day we met, we've traveled together, and I've begun to understand a bit more of my current state thanks to what I've heard from her. Apparently, she somehow feels different when traveling near Twilight Town--this must have something to do with the fact that she is essentially made up of nothing but living Twilight energy now, much like I am. My assumption that Twilight Town is the point where the force of Twilight is the strongest was correct.

Perhaps that is the key to regaining a physical existence as well. If matter can be converted to energy, and energy to different types of energy, certainly it should be possible that energy can reverse and become matter again as well.

The problem is, is there enough Twilight energy, even in that place, to concentrate itself into not one but two new bodies? When Nobodies are born, the body is already present--there is no need to convert energy into matter in that case, as the matter is there to begin with. But reversing the process to make a Lost One become a Nobody again...

Or a Nobody for the first time, in the girl's case... she was a complete being when she died, but her heart is most likely gone now that Kingdom Hearts itself has been destroyed.

And there's another problem--the difficulty of making those bodies form into the correct shapes. Nothing disturbs me more than the thought that, if something goes wrong, we could both end up in the same body.

Or I could end up stuck in the girl's body--or worse, the body of a lesser Nobody, like a Dusk.

That's what I've been calling her--"the girl." She hasn't told me her name, and I'm not sure if she even remembers it herself. Even if she does, she doesn't seem willing to tell me what it is. But that doesn't matter--the concept of having personal names becomes rather silly if only two of your kind exist in the first place.

Perhaps I'll save my experiment on regaining a body for a time after Vexen and Lexaeus awaken. They may discover my current state on their own, after all, and it's entirely possible that Vexen will somehow discover a "cure" for my bodyless existence.