Behind Closed Doors
Chapter 26 – Memories
Kirsty did not approve of being a patient. She much preferred being on the other side of the bed and being the nurse treating the patient. Not that she was kicking up much of a fuss. Secretly she enjoyed the fact she was stuck in hospital whilst the doctors observed her, she liked that she was safe here. She would be leaving soon, a couple of days, the nurse had said. She didn't want to be a patient anymore but going home was looking scary.
Nita's visits were the highlight of the day.
There was one question Nita asked that made Kirsty wince every time.
"Are you going to visit Dad soon?"
She should probably go and visit Warren, after all he was unwell too, but facing him was hard after all he had put her in hospital. She knew that it hadn't been fully his fault, he was ill and he had lashed out but at the same time there had to be some malice. Some intent to harm behind his actions.
She had always brushed his anger under the carpet. Not just since the fire but before that. Since before Nita a born, Infact the first time he had laid a hand on her they had only been fifteen.
[i]"Why were you talking to him?"
"He only asked where the snack machines are..." Kirsty stepped back from him
"Liar." He hissed grabbing her wrist and gripping it hard "Are you my girlfriend or what?"
"I'm your girlfriend." Kirsty replied immediately "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to"
"Good, Remember that." Warren let go of her wrist "It's your go." He gestured at the bowling alley
[/i]
She had been frightened of him that day but he had returned to his usual calm self afterwards, sly, charming, a little gangster at times, over protective but Warren. His confidence and cockiness and boyish good looks had attracted her back when she was in school. His nick name at the alley had been Warren the Fury, she supposed she should have realised his temper would shine through at times with a nick name like that but usually he was so nice in her presence.
There was one though she had often pondered. If the accident hadn't happened... if she hadn't fallen pregnant with Nita a few weeks later would it hade been nothing more than a teenage romance?
[i] Kirsty closed her eyes as she counted. In thirty second things could be about to change forever.
She opened her eyes and looked down to the white plastic stick she was clasping between her fingers.
Two blue lines.
What now? [/i]
They had not been in love when they had had Nita. What followed was a relationship of convince which eventually turned into a kind of love which wasn't what Kirsty had day dreamed about through her childhood.
Warren had been surprisingly supportive from the beginning they had finished their GCSE's and whilst Kirsty had gone on to do the A levels she needed to follow her dream of becoming a nurse, Warren had stayed home with Nita. Warren insisted that they got married before Nita was born, it was a quick job in the registry office but at the time it was all they could afford. Kirsty had been glad to escape her parents, with Nita on the way they were top of the list for a council flat which they got just after she was born.
The novelty of family life had warn off for Warren by the time Nita has turned three. He insisted Kirsty was around more so she ended up on a part time nursing course working her way around family life. Warren, who Kirsty suspected to be jealous of her work, had become interested in making a career for himself as well, he always said it was to make Nita proud but Kirsty always suspected that the main reason he wanted to get a job was to get some space. Not that she blamed him.
Warren joined the fire brigade when Nita was five. Kirsty remembered the month where Nita would insist on wearing a plastic fire fighters hat on fondly but it was also the month when Warren snapped for the first time.
[i]Kirsty has just finished a long day at placement.
"You were supposed to be back an hour ago!"
"It was busy..." Kirsty shrugged
"It's my turn to go out." Warren protested angrily
"Look Warren I can't help it, its my job!" Kirsty protested rolling her eyes
He slapped her.
Her jaw dropped as she raised her hand to her face and looked up into his eyes.
"Mummy?" Nita asked from the doorway, yellow fire fighters hat still onto of her messy hair despite the fact she was dressed in her pyjamas ready for bed.
"Come on sweetheart lets put you to bed." Kirsty turned her attention to her daughter and walked away from Warren
"I didn't mean to..." Warren shot after her but Kirsty ignored him and concentrated on Nita. [/i]
He hadn't laid a finger on her for ages afterwards but every now and again his temper would get the better of him if Kirsty did something he didn't approve off. They had grown apart, staying together more for Nita than anything. Kirsty had often thought of leaving him particularly when he had lashed out at her or after he returned from the pub completely intoxicated.
[i] The door banged open. In staggered Warren, stinking of beer.
"Be quiet." Kirsty hissed as she hurried down the stairs "Nita's asleep."
"Aww come on Kirst..." Warren slurred laughing to himself before placing a sloppy drunk kiss on her lips.
"Get off me!" she pushed him back. "Warren I've had enough." She told him
"Come on" Warren slurred
"No." Kirsty protested grabbing his arm and dragging him through to the living room where she let him fall onto the sofa unceremoniously "You really push the limits don't you?" she added before leaving him to his own devices to annoyed to really care. [/i]
Domestic bliss, Kirsty thought not. Infact she had gotten divorce papers and was going to break up with Warren after a week that had involved two beatings, him coming back intoxicated twice and a lot of arguing. She had had enough but then the fire had happened. She had been sat up drinking a cup of tea whilst she waited for him to come home when she had gotten the phone call from the fire station saying that Warren was seriously hurt.
All plans of divorce had been firmly pushed out of her head as she worried about her husband. She may not love him anymore but that hadn't meant she had stopped caring. She had pulled Nita from her bed and hurried to the emergency department.
Kirsty sighed. She was going to leave him before he was ill but afterwards she just couldn't leave him and then his condition made his occasional attacks got worse. She was not entirely sure that it was to blame for everything. Warren after all had hurt her before he had gotten ill.
"Hi Mum!"
Kirsty was snapped from her thoughts by an enthusiastic Nita entering the room.
"Hello sweetheart have you had a nice day at school?" She asked smiling slightly as Adam followed her daughter into the room
Now Adam, the feelings she had for Adam were actually stronger than those she had ever had for Warren. She shook the thoughts of Adam from her mind and focused on the exercise book Nita was showing her.
"Well done Nita." She smiled as she read the 10/10 in the corner
"Dad keeps asking after you." Nita said closing the book and looking into her Mum's eyes
"Does he..." Kirsty trailed off
"Do you hate him?" Nita asked immediately Kirsty watched Adam step closer looking a bit worried
"No, of course I don't Nita..." Kirsty shook her head
"He really wanted to see you..." Nita told her
"I'll go and see him." She sighed slightly "Tomorrow ok?"
"I'll tell him later." Nita beamed
Nita had always been a Daddy's girl. Kirsty guessed it was because he had looked after her so much when she was little. She didn't want to see Warren but maybe Nita was right to persuade her, if nothing else they could do with talking things through in a place where Warren couldn't really hurt her.
"What else have you done at school today?" Kirsty asked distracting Nita from the subject of her father
Nita began telling her a long story about something that had happened in Maths and Kirsty glanced over at Adam, she saw a hint of worry in his eyes but she brushed it off. Maybe she needed to go and talk to Warren. She was scared of the mere idea of facing him, the dull pain in her side was a nasty reminder of how dangerous her husband could be but she did care, she had to even if it was only a little bit, he was Nita's dad after all. Maybe because he was getting help they would talk things through. It was a long shot but still.