Here you are. I'm not sure it's what some of you expect. I hope you enjoy our new path. See some notes at the bottom for details.

It's Memorial Day Weekend in the US. I dedicate this chapter to all soldiers, those who made it home and those who never did. May you be ever honored and never forgotten.

Enjoy!

Part 25: Dead When We Woke

"The Avatar isn't a person anymore," Quatre said. "Or rather, he isn't one person anymore."

"It's us," Heero said suddenly, understanding striking him like lightning. "We are the Avatar somehow."

"Yes," Quatre said heavily. "But not just the four of you. It's me, too."

"Spirit," Wufei's eyes widened. "Energybending. The last element. The Avatar isn't a master of four elements, but of five. There had to be five of us."

"And it isn't that we could be the Avatar," Quatre continued. "We are the Avatar. We are the Avatar Soul, splintered into five the way it was in the beginning."

He paused for a deep breath. "When Avatar Yuy died, all five of us came into this world, the five pieces of the Avatar Soul born in the same moment, fractured, but our potential and our connection remained. The Five brought you together because they thought you might be able to forge a new Avatar between you because of your inherent similarities. They couldn't have known they had actually gathered the true Avatar and that was why you were so similar to one another. Or maybe they guessed it deep down, but they didn't care. And they still didn't care at all about their crimes against us. All they cared about was their goal."

"Wait," Duo said. "You're saying we are the Avatar somehow, and that those Five Order guys, who had some kind of plan to make an Avatar out of us, just happened to pull us together? How...I mean...what are the chances of that?"

"The universe is not without purpose. Or a sense of humor," Trowa said. "It would be much stranger if they had failed to find us. Assuming what Quatre says is actually true."

"It is." Quatre hung his head. "It is and I'm so sorry."

"But we don't have the same birthday," Wufei pointed out rationally. "If what you're saying is true, wouldn't we all necessarily have to have been born at the same time? Only I was born in the moment after the Avatar's death."

"Actually, we were – but nobody was searching for anyone but firebenders." Quatre ran a hand through his hair. "That's a story for a different time, though. It's…complicated. But I know that I was born the same dawn you were."

"And we," Heero gestured to himself, Duo, and Trowa, "don't know precisely when we were born for various reasons. So it's possible."

"But I still don't get it. What did those Five guys think they would do with us? How could they remake the Avatar?" Duo asked.

"They told Sifu Odin many years ago that he needed to train me to die," Heero answered. "That my purpose was to fight for the right cause and die for it, and that my death would bring peace. They didn't know I had overheard. Sifu Odin rejected them, but I never forgot."

"Death has always been our gift," Trowa said softly. "We kill easily, and we feel it every time. Maybe because we were born dead, the dead Avatar Yuy."

"It never should have happened this way," Quatre shook his head. "We did need to find each other, and we do need to bring back the Avatar, but not their way. You should never have believed your purpose was to die. I didn't know everything they had done until after Omashu. I didn't realize they had been interfering for so long or I...I don't know what I would have done, but I would have done something!"

"Quatre, how long have you known?" Wufei demanded, hands curling into fists.

"Known what I was, or known what was done to you?" he asked. At the firebender's glower, he sighed and lowered his eyes again. "I've known about being a part of the Avatar since I was a young child. I started having these really weird dreams and…well, it's another long story. And I knew each of you was a part of it from the moment I met you." Quatre looked back up. "Didn't you?"

At the silence that met his question, he leaned forward. "Didn't you know, as soon as you found one of us, that we fit together? That we made each other whole? You can't tell me you didn't feel it. I know you did. I felt you finding yourselves in each of us."

"Yeah, okay, maybe when we met each other I was less likely to want to murder you all than average members of the population," Duo shrugged, "but Cat! Why didn't you tell us when we met instead of waiting?"

"Why doesn't anybody tell the Avatar their identity until they reach the age of sixteen?" Quatre replied a little heatedly. "Because it's too big. It's too much. It takes a lifetime for one person to get used to the idea and there are five of us. We'd only just started to trust each other. Would we really have come this far together if I'd told you everything when we first came together after Republic City?"

"But Quatre," Trowa said very softly, "you knew. If you'd told us, we could have managed it together. Who was there to help you get used to the idea?"

"Weeks ago we said 'never alone,' that we would be united as Gundams," Heero added. "You kept yourself alone by not telling us."

"Maybe," he conceded. "I won't lie and say it's been easy carrying this on my own my whole life. But it wasn't about me. It was about us." Quatre's eyes flashed. "The Black Lotus did everything in their power to destroy us forever, put a void in our hearts where light should have been. And then your supposed allies took advantage of that void to ruin your lives in a misguided attempt to command what was never theirs to control. We have a duty not just to save the world now, but to save it together by ensuring we are reborn as the Avatar. We can only do that if we achieve true harmony of spirit. I couldn't let anything get in the way of that. Even if it meant keeping myself apart for a while longer."

"Wait, so does this mean you're secretly a bender, too?" Duo asked. "I always thought you should be a waterbender, Cat. You've got the heart for it, more than I do, even."

"Um, no, I'm not a waterbender," Quatre shook his head. "But Wufei is right. My empathy is kind of a side effect of being an energybender, although I've rarely really needed to use it. And I'm more aware than the average person of the spirit world, I guess…"

"It was you," Heero's eyes widened slightly in realization. "You were the one who summoned the pain spirit in Omashu. It wasn't just drawn to you. You called it into the world in your madness and grief. You unbalanced the spirit world with your powers."

"Yes."

"How many secrets have you been keeping?" Wufei looked ready to throw up his hands. "For the person who talked so passionately about trust, you have certainly behaved most dishonorably, Quatre."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"You keep saying that," Trowa pointed out. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I lied to you all," Quatre met their eyes. "Because I manipulated you just like they did to make sure we would all come together in the end. Because I have known for most of my life that somewhere out there were the other four parts of my soul, but I didn't come to find you until you had been put through so much pain and suffering. Because I didn't know until it was too late that men with no idea about the truth of the Avatar Soul had primed you all for death instead of hope."

"What could you have done, though?" Duo wanted to know. "You were just a kid."

"My father has been a Grand Lotus of the Order for many years," Quatre said, "and I became one myself two years ago. All the evidence was there that those five members had gone off on their own, and no one noticed. I became a Grand Lotus to ensure I could keep myself informed, and to find you, and I wound up keeping an eye on them. But I should have stepped in at once. In the last two years, they've done nothing but throw you at training and missions they hoped would warp you and eventually kill you."

"What could you have done, though?" Wufei asked again.

"And aren't you a bit young to be a Grand Lotus?" Heero added.

"Youngest ever," Quatre nodded with a tiny flash of pride. "By about thirty years. And what could I have done? I could have come for you myself, found you, given you a place to train and learn and get used to one another away from the war and away from the influence of men who just wanted to see us die. I could have protected you."

"Then protect us now," Trowa caught his gaze and held it. "Tell us the truth that no one ever gave us before. Give us what what was taken from us."

"You already gave us a better purpose," Duo said gently. "Trowa's right. Give us what was taken from us at birth and we'll call it even."

"I can do that."

And just like that, it was as if the wind had changed direction, or the tides had turned, or the kindling had picked up a true flame, or the rocks had settled. If asked a day before, none of the four elemental benders would ever have believed they could each be one-fifth of the Avatar. But now, with Quatre's words in the open, it was more than knowing it was the truth; somehow, strangely, all four of them began to share in what Quatre had felt his whole life – that it had always been true. The surprise of it was gone in a wash of rightness that left no room for doubt or uncertainty or wonder. The fact of their true nature had simply become.

As the feeling settled around them, it made Quatre's deception all the sharper in relief.

"So that means no more lying, not to us, anyway," Trowa smirked to soften the statement, but his eyes spoke to his seriousness. "It doesn't suit you."

"Don't ever assume that I'm innately honest. Being on the right side and being truthful are very different things. I'm probably the least innately honest person of the five of us," Quatre shrugged. "But point taken. I'll try not to keep things from you anymore."

"Then here is your chance," Wufei passed over the piece of paper from his uncle. "What in the name of all the cosmos does he mean by this?"

Quatre read it aloud. "I have come to believe my nephew is but a mushroom in the dark. May you guide him to sunlight."

"Mushroom?" Heero and Trowa said simultaneously. They exchanged glances. Both were remembering an odd half-dream from a dark place where they had been lost.

"Like, things that you eat or that are poisonous if you can't tell them apart?" Duo asked, suddenly impish. "Is he saying Wufei's poisonous? 'Cause – "

"No," Quatre shook his head, fighting a smile. "It's...it's an image I used to meditate on. You know how mushrooms work, right? They can pop up out of the ground in different places, but they're all part of the same organism. It's one giant whole thing, hidden from sight, where only the tendrils are visible on the surface. You have to look deep to see the connection."

"The Avatar," Wufei's eyes widened. "He knew somehow."

"I guess so," Quatre said. "I only ever told my teacher about the image I used for meditation, but it wouldn't surprise me, if your uncle was anything like you, Wufei, that they might have known one another."

A long silence fell, each lost in their thoughts. At last Heero spoke.

"So, now what?"

"Now," Trowa said, "we get ready for a war."

"And we make some kind of plan to beat most of the armies in the world and protect Republic City." Duo looked around the circle and smiled the kind of smile that anyone else almost never saw and the Gundams had seen only rarely – the one that reached his eyes.

"Is it me," he asked, "or does everybody else suddenly feel better about this whole mess?"

"How so?" Wufei asked. "Our odds are not improved at all from what they were before."

"No," Quatre smiled too. "But we will be."

-==OOO==-

Quinze made his way down the familiar path. The earth this far down was very damp and the air smelled wet. Droplets trickled down the walls of the tunnel and plopped with a rhythmic cadence in puddles and rivulets. The only light was from the single lantern he carried, sputtering wetly in the darkness. His boots caught in the muddy earth, but he had walked the tunnel so many times in the last weeks and months he never even faltered.

"Sir!" a man saluted as he reached a sharp bend in the path. Quinze looked over the man critically – an earthbender, probably recruited years ago to the cause. Certainly not one of the undisciplined, overexcited newcomers to their work.

"Are they here?"

"Yes, sir."

"Go back up the tunnel until you cannot hear," Quinze ordered. "Remain there and listen for any interlopers who might try to reach us some other way."

"Yes, sir!" he saluted again and strode off.

Quinze made the turn and passed through an archway divided from the rest of the dark tunnel by only a thick, dark cloth. The cloth was necessary for those who were not actually earthbenders. "Or waterbenders," Quinze thought to himself with a sinister smile, "given how wet it is down here."

Within, there was a rough wooden table and eight chairs. Seven were occupied.

"Quinze, where are we?" demanded the most cuttingly rude of the legendary Five Blacks, wrinkling his significant nose. "You're keeping secrets again."

"And we do not appreciate it," the nominal leader of the Five crossed his arms, eyes hidden behind his odd lenses.

"Patience, gentlemen," Quinze raised his hands as he moved to his own seat. Where the Five – and to this day Quinze had never been able to discover their real names, so he was forced to refer to them thusly – were frowning or outright scowling, Septum looked merely bemused. At the last seat, a young woman with startlingly pale hair had a slight smile on her face. Before he could go on, she spoke.

"While I find these surroundings distasteful myself, you must admit, there was no other way to get so close to Republic City, and Quinze could hardly leave and expect to return without detection. I believe Quinze's caution in keeping his secrets seems to be valuable."

"Forgive us, Princess Dorothy," sneered the tallest of the Five, "but you are new to these proceedings. Even your father is ignorant of much. You know nothing of what is valuable to us."

"Then educate me," she challenged.

"Oh, stop goading her," Septum frowned. "Quinze, you called this meeting. What do you want? Some of us are busy preparing for a war."

"Tomorrow will begin the greatest conflict since The Fire Lord's War nearly two-hundred years ago," Quinze said. "I felt it prudent we confirm our goals before all is thrown into chaos."

"You pulled me away from my work for an update?" Septum's face flushed red. "Send a bird next time, you fool! I have more to do than you can imagine! When was the last time you attempted to steal an entire army out from under the command of their king and general?"

"If you would sit down and listen," Quinze narrowed his eyes, "you might learn something."

"Good luck with that," muttered the black-haired of the Five, just loud enough to be heard. Septum's face got even redder.

"There is a new development," Quinze ignored him. "The Gundams are here, and intent on defending Republic City. They have already interfered with a group I was bringing in to assault the Council and the Peacecraft, greatly weakening my forces within the city. They are formidable."

"What is your plan?" the fifth of the Five asked.

"I cannot anticipate their movements," Quinze said, "but I expect you," he looked over at Dorothy, "should be aware of them. They may attempt to eliminate the Fire Lord directly."

"Really?" Dorothy's eyes widened in mock surprise. "Who would imagine such a thing?"

"These Gundams are the five fighters who have wrought such chaos in our plans thus far?" Septum asked. He considered for a moment, then said, "Is there any chance we can blame them for the Earth Kingdom's attack on the city?"

"Unlikely," replied the long-nosed member of the Five. "They may be formidable benders, but none is very powerful, and even together they are of limited usefulness. The people would never believe five individuals could be behind so much. I suggest you find and eliminate them as quickly as you can."

"In fact," said the fourth, "if we can find them, it would serve our interests very well to kill them all."

"I have heard the stories of these 'Gundams' and I am not impressed. If they are a problem for our plans, I will confront them myself. Even if they are twice what I have been told, I'm sure they will die when they face me," Dorothy commented, "but I do wish to know – why do you fear them so?" She looked straight at Quinze and smiled dangerously.

"I do not fear them, or you for that matter," he answered her calmly. "If you wish to prove your value to the Order by eliminating the Gundams yourself, you certainly may. I have other duties."

"And what are those?" the third of the Five asked.

"You don't know?" Septum was surprised.

"You do?" the leader of the Five was even more surprised.

"The Order of the Black Lotus has always sought to restore the balance of days past," Quinze said with a small smile on his face, "and also to destroy our enemies utterly without mercy, of course. Only when there is a Fire Nation and an Earth Kingdom and those Water Tribes, and no other voices of disunity will the world be able to separate at last. The aftermath of The Fire Lord's War should have proved that dragons cannot live beside rabbits. Like when Avatar Kyoshi broke her homeland from the mainland to protect her people from danger, so we must break apart what others would force together unnaturally.

"And to that end," he looked up with a completely neutral expression, "I have prepared a final blow. Call it a fallback plan."

"We will not fail," Septum snorted. "Republic City cannot stand against the combined might of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom, no matter how many pitiful waterbenders and riffraff come to defend it. The city will fall."

"Yes," Quinze said coldly, "Republic City will fall, and with it, the foolishness that ever necessitated this war in the first place. One way or another, it ends tomorrow."

-==OOO==-

"More news?" Duo looked over Quatre's shoulder casually, refusing to let his eyes boggle at the sheer number of scrolls and parchments and tiny scraps that had come in by all of their five hawks, Kai, and about eighteen others even throughout the night.

"Lots of it," Quatre nodded. "It's going to happen tomorrow. Not just the Fire Nation, but the Earth Kingdom will attack too. It's been confirmed that Zechs doesn't have command right now, even if he has the loyalty of his troops. Septum will send his people against us and we'll be outnumbered."

"That's not good," Trowa said.

"Actually, it is good," Quatre closed his eyes. "In a sense, anyway. I'd rather know what is happening than have to guess. We know Quinze is involved, even if I can't get any information on his movements. We know Septum's basic tactics, and we know the Fire Nation is also acting with the Black Lotus. From this, we can plan."

"So what are we going to do?" Wufei refused to look as if he hadn't seen whatever Quatre did in the outline of their situation.

"We're going to fight," Quatre said. "We'll handle our opponents as we must, and we'll clear the board until the evils against us are no longer in play. And then," he looked up with an unreadable expression, "…and then it will be time to choose."

-==OOO==-

"Relena, I'd like you to meet Sally," Noin put a hand on her old friend's shoulder. "She's a waterbender and a leader among the Tribes."

"Thank you for coming to our aid," Relena bowed. "Though I wish with all my heart it was not necessary."

"You and me both, Peacecraft," Sally bowed as well. "But as it stands, the Tribes have pretty strong feelings about all this. After all, we're three nations and one people, and it's always worked for us to give each other the space to sail with the sea rather than remain locked in stone. What we fight for is not just the safety of Republic City and the United Republic, but the very freedom to trust that defines my people."

Relena smiled. She could see why Noin liked the braided waterbender.

"I'm glad," Sally looked to Noin, "that my fears we would be on opposite sides are unfounded. I don't envy you, though," and she glanced down. "I know. About what Zechs will have to do and why."

"You do?" Relena was surprised.

"The whole Order knows," came another voice. Lady Une strode into the room. Or, she tried to. She had to lean on a staff, and her steps were unsteady. "There is a Grand Lotus who has broken all the ties of secrecy and sent virtually everything to everyone. Not just information on our Black Lotus opponents, but everyone."

"Who would do that?" Noin asked. "The Order always struck me as more stubborn and horsepig-headed than the Earth Kingdom's nobility."

"They are," Sally smiled. "That's why the Grand Lotus opening the walls to the air isn't part of them anymore. He's a Gundam."

"Heero?" Relena asked. Sally shook her head.

"No, though I've heard of the earthbender, too. It doesn't matter. The Gundams aren't acting independently anymore, if you'll excuse the pun. They have their own goal, and one they haven't yet revealed."

"It's just as well," Une said, her voice only a little strained. "If they were to share their plans, they would certainly fail. Not all members of the Order of the White Lotus can be trusted."

"Well, this one can be," Noin gestured to Sally.

"Order or not, I'm a healer first," Sally's eyes narrowed, "and as a healer, I'm ordering you to sit down and let me take a look."

Une started to argue, but Noin actually grabbed her elbow. "Don't. Don't fight us." At the firebender's astonished look, she sighed. "Tomorrow the world will crack into pieces. If things fall apart, we're going to need you here and healthy to help us. Sally didn't come just to serve as an emissary from the Water Tribes, and you're not just here because you're Fire Nation."

"Noin?" Relena's brow was furrowed in confusion. The earthbender smiled grimly.

"If Republic City falls tomorrow, the only hope for peace is you, Relena, and the three of us. We have no Avatar to guide our world, so a Peacecraft and three benders will have to be enough. Tomorrow we stay together, no matter what happens, and we protect one another."

Sally nodded and guided Une to a chair. "Even if the Black Lotus is defeated tomorrow, we will still need one another. The problem of a battle isn't the fighting, but the aftermath. I'll be busy as a healer, but we will all be needed to heal the wounds of the world's hearts, too."

-==OOO==-

The Gundams stood alone on a plateau looking down on the chosen battlefield before dawn's first light. The armies would meet on the fields and plains on the north and east side of the ridge that was the backdrop of Republic City. From this vantage point at the top of the plateau, they could see the fortifications from the Earth Kingdom, the naval armada nearing the peninsulas from the Fire Nation, and the forces of the United Republic of Nations as well as the Water Tribes moving to meet both. Halfway down the ridge, the Maganac forces waited.

"It all comes to this," Wufei said, crossing his arms. "We must fight to ensure peace."

"Contradiction is the way of humanity," Trowa intoned. "The Air Nomads teach that when we try to hold onto everything, we lose everything."

"We're gonna lose all right," Duo spoke lowly. "I mean, we'll win the fight because we have to. But people are going to die for no good reason except that a couple of cranky guys can't just let go and give somebody else some freedom. Strong people stomping on the weak and they all die for it."

"Strong people make weak people," Heero said, staring straight ahead. "Just like peace makes war. And we're stupid enough to be caught up in it ourselves."

"Hey, if we weren't stupid, we wouldn't be soldiers. And if we're fighting, we've still got a chance to set things right," Duo punched him in the shoulder lightly.

"This isn't just a battle," Quatre spoke up. "This is a choice being made by all of humanity for how the world is going to look tomorrow and in a hundred years. What we do here today is going to realign the world either way. Which is why we can't fail. We're not fighting for the independents or Republic City or the Old Four. We're fighting for the people who have to live with whoever wins today."

"Exactly," Wufei nodded. "The war we fight is not nation and nation, but human heart and soul."

"Then we shouldn't keep them waiting. When the time comes to act, you have to step forward." Trowa looked at the others and breathed out once. A rush of warm air surrounded them, a nearly perceptible embrace.

The five stared steadily at one another for a long, silent moment. There was so much they could not say.

"All right," Quatre said decisively, looking at each of the others as though he could never look long enough. "Remember to watch for the signals. And keep to the plan as much as you can."

In one motion, perfect synchronization, the five of them donned their masks for, they hoped, the last time.

Quatre whistled once, high and bright, and Sandrock alighted on his shoulder. He reached into the pouch that hung in the center of his lower-back, just below where his two shotels crossed. From it, he drew a long orange streamer which he affixed to the hawk's message-carrier. When he tossed the bird back into the air, the streamer flew behind him brightly, clear against the blue sky.

Heero stamped his heel into the ground and twisted, causing the soft earth to rise up and wrap itself around the feet of all five of them, securing them in place. Then he lifted his hands and pushed forward. The outcropping on which they stood broke free of its position and began sliding down the rock face towards the battlefield.

Trowa twisted his arms and the cocoon of air around them sharpened until it was a veritable shield, keeping them warm and the space around them still as they picked up speed.

"Have fun teaching Treize a lesson about what real fire feels like," Duo tipped his head to Wufei. "And Heero, make sure you stomp all over that pretty-boy Earth Kingdom general. The two of them are worse than the Orders if you ask me. They aren't fighting because they believe in it. They're fighting because somebody told them to, and Zechs probably doesn't even want to."

"I can understand their position, and the orders they likely have been given," Wufei commented, "but that does not make it honorable or right. Do not they also deserve the freedom to choose when their orders are wrong?"

"So let's lay the whole debate to rest," Trowa nodded.

To either side, as they rushed down the steep hill, the Maganacs had spotted Sandrock's signal and were beginning their own charges as well, shouting as they did so. The war machines of the Fire Nation had just crossed the final rise and were close enough for the most skilled firebenders to begin kicking blasts of flame at them. The independent ground troops were already moving to crash into their lines.

"Heero," Quatre's voice was quiet. The earthbender paused in his bending long enough to turn to him. "Remember your promise. Our promise. Never alone. It's not our time to die yet. We have a lifetime to be together. Don't give in, and don't let go no matter what. Not yet."

"Never alone, Quatre," he replied gently, and though they could not see his face, they heard in his words the truth of them. "I promise. I know now that death is not my only fate."

Quatre nodded sharply and drew his shotels. He bent his head to them just once, to whisper something none of the others could hear, before straightening up.

"For freedom," he said, not shouting, but with real passion. "And for balance and peace. But most of all, for tomorrow!"

And their forces reached the first wave of attackers as the battle began in earnest.

A/N:

So, I've had a few questions about whether this relates to the history of the Avatar from Legend of Korra. As I said in the very beginning of this story, I've never watched Korra, although I did follow its development. But I had written this whole idea out before that storyline ever even began in Korra – in a sense, my Avatar mythology came first. So this is truly an AU now, not that it wasn't really to start with.

I hope this all made sense to you. It was always what I had in mind, from the very moment I conceived of the plot way back when I was still working on "The Silken Cord." I always intended, as I did a bit there, to make the five Gundams into one whole greater than the sum of its parts. I hope my explanation of the Avatar here makes sense in the context of what you have read so far, but more importantly, I hope it also came as a surprise. I have to admit, I've never ever, in 10 years of publishing fanfic, been as nervous about a twist as I am about revealing this one. I hope it went okay.

Also, I'll tell you right now one scene nobody has to claim for one of their oneshot awards from earlier this year: I've already determined to write a "The Ember Island Players Present"-type story where our intrepid troupe of actors perform the true origin of the Avatar as I have determined it. I'm still figuring out if I want the story to take the form of an actual script (with scribbled commentary from our boys, of course), or if it should be more along the lines of the A:TLA episode with the boys actually watching the production. But it'll happen. And Quatre will be appalled, and he'll fix everything they get wrong, as it should be.

From this point, there aren't a lot of good stopping places until the end. I may wimp out and post chapters haphazardly in my guilt at leaving things unresolved for you. I hope the ride continues to be worth the wait.

Your feedback has kept me going. I hope you feel rewarded for all that kindness. You guys are the best fans ever!