Chapter 25: Sacrifice
February 3, 2010
EPOV
"Going for a walk with Daddy." Peyton sang. "Going for a walk with my Daddy. Going for a walk with my Daaaddddyyyy…" Her voice got really high at that last part and I cringed as she kept the note going for at least 10 seconds. When she stopped, she took a deep breath, and I laughed at her. I had her little hand in mine as we were walking down the street to the post office. I had some bills to send out and get some stamps, and being unemployed means you need to save up on money and gas is expensive, so I decided to take a walk with my little girl.
This past month has been truly bitter sweet. I missed my job a lot, and I missed Karen. When she found out I was fired she called me crying telling me how much she was going to miss me and how much she dreads having to see who she has to work for next. I told her I would miss her too, because I would. Karen was an amazing girl, and we have spent so much time together over the years we became really close. She calls me a couple times a week and came over for dinner with Nancy last week.
Even though I miss Karen and my job, this past month has been so relaxing for me. Well as relaxing as I can be under the circumstances. Bella still isn't living with us, and she is still drinking. She got her own job at a breakfast joint and she waits tables from 6-10am. That is all great, and I am proud of her for at least doing something while she was away from us, but she was still drinking. I really just wish she would stop once and for all and we are just waiting on her.
I hope it will be soon though because the only damper on my happiness right now is not sharing it with her. Things with Liam were a little better since he had his break down. He was still distant, and I still haven't gotten that 'I love you, Dad' I have been craving to hear, but at least he talks to me now.
Today I think is going to be a good day. First of all, I start my new job today. I don't know if it is exactly good because I am now a telemarketer. Yes, I am the annoying bastard that calls your house and tries to sell you shit you don't want. I was hesitant to take the job, but I had the skills for it I guess. I only work from 4:30-8, but I need to have some sort of income. Paying for therapy for two people, medicine for my baby, and all of the other expenses that comes with living have really been hard to keep up with lately since I had no financial income.
Today was also going to be good because Bella was visiting us. We didn't get to go to her house on Sunday because she was working, and I had the interview for my job on that day. It was a surprise though; Peyton nor Liam knew that she was coming over today. She is taking the one o'clock bus and then walking to our house because the bus stop was only five minutes away. I knew Peyton will be so excited to see her, and so will Liam. I just can't wait to see the light in his eyes when Bella is with me when we pick him up from school.
It's a shame that I won't be able to really spend that much time with her though. Emmett has been saying he wants to spend more time with me for some reason. I have no problem with it, I love my brother and some time with him sounds good, but it was really random. I am supposed to meet him at his house at three and we are just going to hang out while Rose and the kids have dinner at Rose's parent's house. I am only going to stay about an hour though because I do need to go to work. Bella is going to stay with the kids until I get out of work.
"Daddy?" Peyton asked.
"Yes, princess."
"I getting tired." She said and I instantly went into Daddy-panic-mode. We were almost there, I could already see the building but I adore that little heart in my baby and it scared me when she told me she was tired. I picked her up instantly and she wrapped her legs around me and rested her head on my shoulder. She was humming in my ear and I smiled. It took us about two minutes to finally make it to the post office and Peyton picked up her head when we got inside. She was waving hi to everyone we walked by, and everyone awed at her and waved back. I bought the stamps and Peyton helped me put them on. I mailed the bills out, and we made our way back home to spend another relaxing day together until Bella came over.
"Daddy." I heard Peyton call from me from upstairs in her room. She was whining and it sounded like she would be crying soon. She has been trying to take a nap for about a half an hour now. First we both laid down on my bed but she kept tossing and turning. I tried anything I could to make her comfortable, but she just couldn't fall asleep. Finally she just told me to put her in her crib so she can try going to sleep on her own. That was about 10 minutes ago, and I guess it isn't working.
I turned the TV off, and jogged up the stairs to her room. "Hey, beautiful, still not falling asleep?" I asked as I walked closer to her.
"I so tired Daddy." She whined and started wiping her eyes, oh my poor baby.
"I know, baby." I picked her up and she cuddled into my arms.
"Why won't my eyes stay shut, Daddy? I just want to take a little nap."
I rubbed her back. "You want to try the couch?" I felt bad, because everyone has experienced this before and it sucks. It sucks when you are so tired but no matter how hard you try, you can't fall asleep. So I felt her pain, but she was so fucking cute all tired and frustrated that I just wanted to hug her.
She sighed loudly. "I guess so." I walked down the stairs with her, and went to the couch.
"You want the TV on?" I asked her and she shook her head. "Do you want to lay by yourself?"
She shook her head. "No you lay with me." She said and I of course would not object. I laid back on the couch and went on my side. I had my arm out and wrapped around Peyton as she was snuggled into my chest between me and the back of the couch. She closed her eyes and tried going to sleep as I rubbed her back and hummed softly to her. We stood like that for about 10 minutes, and my poor baby still wasn't sleeping and I could tell she was getting really aggravated now. She sat and now she started crying. "I want to take a nap." She cried and my heart broke. I put her in my lap and wrapped my arms around her.
"Why don't you just try later, baby?"
"Because I tired now!" She wailed and I didn't know what to do for her. I heard keys in the front door and my heart jumped. I looked at the clock, and it was just after 1:30; Bella was here. "Who's at the door?" Peyton asked, she had tears on her cheeks and curiosity in her eyes.
"I don't know." I said innocently. The door opened and I could hear the footsteps and seconds later my breath was taken away from me when Bella appeared with a beautiful smile on her face.
"MOMMY!" Peyton screamed in excitement and stood up on the couch and started jumping. I laughed and so did Bella.
She walked over to her with her arms outstretched. "My little girl!" She said and picked up a very eager Peyton. She hugged Bella tightly, and Bella hugged her back and placed kisses on her neck. I smiled at my girls.
Peyton pulled away and put her little hands on Bella's cheeks. "I missed you, Mommy!" She said with her own beautiful smile on.
Bella kissed her forehead. "Oh I missed you too, angel. Were you crying, honey?" She asked as she wiped her fingers over Peyton's cheeks.
"Yeah cause I was tired but my eyes wouldn't go to sleep!" She said and threw her arms out to her sides.
"Oh no! That's not good!"
"I know. But I'm not tired now. I want to play with you!" She said and hugged Bella around her neck.
"Okay! Go get something we can play with until we have to go pick up your brother." Bella said before kissing her cheek and placing her on the floor. She ran over to her toy box and started taking stuff out. I turned to Bella and she had her hands in front of her and looking nervous. I walked around the couch with my arms opened out towards her. A breathtaking smile spread across her face, and she met me halfway by crashing her body into mine. She had a tight grip around my neck, and I had my arm wrapped around her waist, and the other cradling her head.
I took a deep breath, taking in the scent of my other half, feeling my body fill up with a warmth that only she can bring me. It never seizes to blow my mind how much I am in tune with her. "Mmm…I missed you."
I heard her sniffle, and I was surprised she was crying. "I don't think it is as much as I missed you, baby." She sniffled and held onto me tighter. I could feel her hurt, it only added onto mine because her pain was my pain. She pulled away from me and brought her shaking hands to my cheeks as she looked at me with adoration in her eyes.
I brought my hands up to her trembling ones on my face. "Why are you shaking, Bella?"
She let out a humorless laugh and pulled my head down to kiss my forehead. "I don't know I think it is because I am just so happy to be home."
That makes two of us.
It started raining, so Bella had to go inside the school to pick up Liam. Peyton and I were waiting in the car, and she was of course humming in the back seat. I was getting kind of nervous for two reasons. One is this time I am going to be spending with Emmett. I realize I shouldn't feel this way because he is my brother after all, but I have a feeling this little get together is more than just a time for us to have brother bonding time. The other reason I was nervous was for my job. I haven't started a new job in so long and the unknown was creeping up on me. I don't know what it will be like at all. What if my boss turns out to be an asshole? What if the people I work with are rude and don't like me? So many things were running through my mind. I kind of want to go early just so I don't have to play this waiting game. I hate waiting; it gives you too much time to think.
"Isn't it great Mommy came to visit today?" Peyton asked randomly when the song ended.
"Yeah it is, baby." I said and turned in my seat so I could look at her.
"Is Mommy going to stay wif us?" She asked with wide curious eyes.
"No baby, not now."
She nodded her head, and looked out the window and watched the rain drops fall on the window. "Daddy?" She asked while still looking out the window.
"Yes, princess?"
"I think Mommy should stay."
This was the first time Peyton actually talked to me about Bella leaving directly like this, so I knew she must really be missing Bella. "She can't right now, honey."
"Oh…okay." She said and I could see her little face get really sad and I wished there was another way to do this, but this was the only way I could think of now. Bella being away from us hurt, but at least the kids weren't witnessing her drunk every day, because that is the last thing I want is for them to think it is normal for Bella to be like that all the time. So this way was better for them I think, I just wish it didn't hurt them as much as it does.
"Hey."I said and she looked at me with her beautiful blue-green eyes. "Your Mom loves you, baby."
She nodded her head. "I know."
"Hopefully your Mom will be home with us really soon. We just have to be patient, okay baby?"
"Okay." She said and another song came on so she started humming along. I smiled at her, and then turned back in the driver's seat. I watched the front door of the school as people started filling out. I didn't miss watching Bella walk out with a beaming Liam besides her holding her hand. I smiled as I once again realized how much Liam adores Bella. Bella has not been the perfect mother, but Liam still sees in her what I see and I love him more for that. Bella deserves to be loved no matter what. Now as I watch mother and son walk out of the school smiling so wide and happy, I think back on when Bella found out she was pregnant and how scared she was, although her fears were for nothing…
~Flashback~
22 Years Old
"I'll have three pancakes with bacon and sausage please." Edward told the waitress.
"Okay! And what about you?" The waitress asked Alice.
"I think I will just have Fruit Loops." Alice said and gave the waitress her menu. The waitress walked away.
Edward shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. "You spend 10 minutes looking at that menu, and you choose Fruit Loops?"
Alice picked up the straw wrapper, crumbled it up, and threw it at Edward's forehead. "Fruit Loops are goooood." She said and Edward chuckled and rolled his eyes.
"If you say so, Alice."
"So how are things, Edward?" Alice asked with a smile. Alice was visiting from college. She goes to school in Los Angeles.
Edward shrugged. "Alright, I guess."
"Alright? That doesn't sound like something a newlywed would say." Edward just shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of coffee. Alice's shoulders dropped. "Is Bella still drinking?" She asked.
"Yes…I mean no. I don't know."
"Uh…okay I am a little lost."
"She is still drinking, but she hasn't been for these past four days." Edward said while swirling his index finger over the rim of his coffee mug.
"Now I am even more confused…how is that a bad thing?"
"It's not. It's an amazing thing, but I don't know…she has been really distant with me since then."
"Hmm…" Alice said with an inquisitive look on her face. "How so?"
"You know, she has been really quiet. She has been really tired, she doesn't want to…you know…" Edward tried to tell her what he meant by just using his hands and Alice took this opportunity to mess with him.
"No, I am afraid I don't know, Edward. Why don't you elaborate?"
"Hahaha…no." Edward said and Alice laughed.
"Okay, I get it now. So she doesn't want to sleep with you. I don't blame her."
"Alice!" Edward said, appalled by her random stab at his manhood.
"What? You're my brother, Edward. I'm sorry but thinking about anyone doing that with you is enough to make me want to gouge my eyes out with a heated metal spoon."
Edward laughed and shook his head. "I guess I see your point."
"So she has been distant…that bothers you I take it."
"Well of course it does, Alice. I am so used to her being drunk all the time, and now she isn't, but I am not even able to enjoy it."
Alice sighed. "Why don't you just leave her?"
Edward choked on his coffee and he put his hand over his mouth so none of it would come out. He coughed after he swallowed, and some people were staring. "Are you crazy?" He asked and started coughing again.
"No."
"Come on, Alice. I would never do that."
"But if you are unhappy why put yourself through that."
"I am not unhappy, Alice. I love Bella. Just because she is having a couple of rough days doesn't mean I am going to leave her. I am a little offended by that, Alice."
Alice sighed. "I'm sorry. But I just don't think you should have to deal with her when she is like that."
"Deal with her?" Edward was getting increasingly upset.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Ughh…" Alice ran her hands through her hair. "I didn't mean it like that. I just I don't know…you should be happy, Edward."
"I am happy, Alice. The only thing that would make me unhappy is being away from Bella, and that will never change."
"Okay, I'm sorry."
Edward sighed. "It's okay. I am going to talk to Bella, we will be fine. Can we talk about something else?"
Edward walked into his and Bella's apartment and noticed she was curled up on the couch with his sweater on and sweatpants. She turned her head to look at him and gave him a small smile. "Hi, baby."
Edward sat down next to her, and then she curled up into his side. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Bella lifted her head and kissed his lips. Edward of course kissed her back without hesitation. They kissed deeper, and Edward thought that she finally got over her little funk, and so he took advantage of the situation and put his hands under the sweater and moved his hands along her bare sides. He could feel the goosebumps form on her skins as she shivered in pleasure. Edward shifted himself so he could push Bella down on her back on the couch. As soon as he got her lying below him though, and they were still kissing, Bella pushed against his chest. Edward groaned.
"Not right now, baby."
"May I ask why?" Edward asked, he wasn't pressuring her into doing it, he just wanted to make love to his wife, and she wouldn't let him so he was frustrated.
"I don't feel very good." She said. Edward scoffed and got off of her.
"You don't look sick, Bella."
"I know, but I really don't feel good. It's not that I don't want to baby, I just..ugh." She said and put her hand over her stomach.
"Let me guess…now your stomach hurts."
"Edward…" She started. "I'm not lying." Edward didn't answer here and just started changing the channel on the TV. "Edward please, you know I want to. I love you I-" Bella wasn't able t finish her sentence and she shot up from the couch and ran to the bathroom in the hallway. Edward stood in shock on the couch because she left so fast. He cringed and felt like an ass when he heard Bella throwing up violently into the toilet. He turned the TV off and went into the bathroom to see her bent over the toilet and trying to hold her own hair out of her face. Edward knelt down beside her and held her hair in his hands as she threw up. He rubbed her back with his other hand as she hacked into the toilet bowl, tears falling from her eyes from the force. Edward felt horrible for treating her like he did.
Bella finally stopped throwing up and she flushed the toilet. She got up on shaky legs and went to rinse her mouth off at the sink. Edward was next to her, rubbing her back soothingly. "What's the matter, love?" He asked. Bella got a tooth brush out and started brushing.
"It must just be a bug." She said unconvincingly. Edward could tell there was something she was keeping for him and he began to get mad again.
"I don't think so…" He said.
"It is, Edward."
"And now you are lying to me!" Edward said and threw his arms up in the air and let them fall to his sides.
"No I'm not."
"Whatever, Bella." Edward said, giving up on trying to get an answer out of her. He headed for the door.
"Wait!" Bella said, and Edward turned around. She let out a breath. "I'm sorry, okay? You are right; I don't think it is a bug."
Edward walked back to her and stood in front of her. He took both her hands in his. "You can tell me anything, Bella."
"I know." She said.
"Soo…"
Bella stared into Edward's green eyes while she contemplated how she was going to say what she was about to say. "Okay, promise you won't freak out or anything?"
"Promise."
"I umm….I think…Wow this is hard." She said and let out a humorless laugh. "I think I might be pregnant."
Edward's expression did not change. "Can you repeat that, I think I may have misunderstood?"
Bella laughed and kissed his lips. "You're cute. And you didn't misunderstand, I think there is a possibility I am pregnant."
"Are you serious?" Edward asked, he could feel his palms sweating; this was not what he was expecting at ll.
"Nope! Just kidding!" Bella said sarcastically and Edward glared at her. Bella kissed him again. "I am serious."
"Holy fuck." Edward said.
"Holy fuck is right." Bella said.
"We didn't plan this…"
"I know, but we don't even know for sure yet. It could just be a bug, and then we don't have anything to worry about it. I would understand if you were mad or something. I didn't mean it I mean…" Edward laughed and put his hand over Bella's mouth to stop her rambling.
"I wouldn't be mad, Bella, and I know you didn't do it on purpose." He said and started laughing at her absurdity. "Do you want me to pick up a test?" She nodded her head. "You want to come with me?" He asked.
"Yes." She mumbled through his hand over her mouth.
Edward laughed and kissed her mouth. "Let's go then."
"Do you want me to check?" Edward asked from his spot on the floor in front of the bathtub. They were both in the bathroom and Bella already took the test, and it was time to check, but Bella hesitated.
"I can do it." She said. Edward nodded his head and Bella picked up the test from the counter. She brought it up to her vision. She gulped. "What was the color if it was positive again?" She asked.
"Blue." Edward said.
A tear instantly fell from Bella's eye, and she placed the test on the counter. She wiped her eyes and walked out of the room. Edward was shocked at her actions, and instantly felt his heart sink. It must have been negative. He got up from the floor and went to the test. He picked it up, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the line on the test was indeed blue. It was positive. Bella was pregnant, but why was she crying?
Edward put the test down on the counter again and went to find Bella. He could hear her crying in their bedroom so he walked in there. Bella was sitting on the floor in front of the bed with her knees pulled to her chest and crying in what Edward could only interpret as fear and sadness. "Bella…" He said and sat down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and she curled into his chest and cried. "Bella why are you crying? Do you not want to have a baby?"
Bella shook her head against his chest and held onto him tighter. "No that's not it. Having a baby with you makes me so absolutely happy, Edward. I cannot believe I am holding a little part of you and me inside of me."
"Then why are you crying, love?"
Bella lifted her head to look at him. "I can't be a mother, Edward."
"Bella that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."
"Really, Edward? Do you think I am cut out to be a mother? I don't even know what being a mother means. You have seen the only example I have to go by, and I would absolutely hate myself if our child felt about me the way I feel about her."
"That won't happen, Bella."
More tears fell from Bella's eyes and she whimpered. "How do you know that, Edward? What if it is genetic and I turn out just like her."
"Bella." Edward said and pulled her away from him so he was looking in her eyes. He cupped her face in his hands. "You are not your mother, and nor will you ever be." She started to say something. "Shh.." Edward said. "You are incapable of treating anyone, especially your child, the way your mother has treated you Bella. Think of some of the things your mother has said to you, baby. Would you ever say that to our baby?"
"Absolutely not." She said instantly.
Edward kissed her forehead lightly. "Okay, so you have nothing to worry about, love."
"But Edward, I don't know how to be a parent."
"And you think I do?" Edward asked with a smile. "We are going to learn this together, Bella. Now I don't know about you, but I already love this baby more than I have ever loved anything that I have never met before."
Bella smiled. "I know what you mean. The feeling is unlike anything I have felt before." Bella said and put her hand over her stomach.
"See? There you go, Bella. You already love this baby, and love is always a good place to start. We may not be perfect parents, but at least we both know that this baby will always know love."
Bella smiled and brought Edward's hands from her face to her stomach. "I want this baby to be just like you, baby."
Edward scrunched up his nose. "Oh hell no, I was an ugly ass baby."
Bella laughed. "You were not! You were so cute, Edward!"
"Yeah, you only say that because you love me. Take a picture of me from when I was a newborn, show it to someone, and they would think I was a naked mole rat or some shit."
Bella slapped his chest. "Shut up! Our baby will not look like a naked mole rat!"
Edward laughed and hugged Bella to his chest. "You're right, our baby won't. But that's just because you are its mother."
Bella scoffed. "Yeah right, I looked like an alien."
"Aww shit, our baby is screwed."
Bella laughed and wrapped her arms around Edward's neck. "I am sure our baby will just get the good parts of us." She said and kissed Edward's lips.
"Let's hope so."
~End Flashback~
Liam in no way looked like neither a naked mole rat nor an alien. He was a beautiful baby so I think Bella was right when she said he would get the best parts of both of us because he really did. I was also right because Bella and I were not perfect parents at all, but we try our best to do right by our children. Bella may be an alcoholic, but it doesn't mean she is a horrible mother. This is something she has lived with for a while now, and I personally think she was a good mother considering the circumstances, and what she grew up with. I could tell she was trying her best, but I really think Bella could be a close to perfect mother if she got help and got sober.
Liam hugged Bella around the waist before he climbed into the back seat. "Hi Peyton! Hi Dad!" Liam said excitedly.
Peyton just waved at him and continued singing. "Hi, son. How was your day?" I asked him.
"It was good!" He then went into telling everyone about his day, and his stories were so amazing to me. Bella sat sideways in her seat so she was facing the kids and listening and responding to them intently. I really felt bad that she had to spend so much time away from them because they were what was keeping me sane these days and who does she have?
We made it to the house soon after and both Liam and Peyton were both happier than I have seen them in a long time and I started rethinking my decision of having Bella live away from us. We really weren't a whole family without her.
I knocked on Emmett's door and I heard his heavy footsteps make it to the door. He opened the door. "Edward! Good to see you, bro." He said and then gave me a hug, slapping me on the back.
"Hey, Emmett." I said and walked in with him. He waved me over to the kitchen, and he took out soda and he was already eating Doritos. I sat down at the table with him and we ate Doritos and soda, and just talked about anything and everything. I was actually enjoying my time with Emmett because we barely ever get any time to just hang out. We mostly just talked about our kids, but they were our lives, so it made sense.
Everything was going great until the subject of Bella came up. "So who is with the kids?" Emmett asked.
"Bella." I said and put a Dorito in my mouth.
"Are you serious?" he asked.
"Um…yes." What was he getting at?
"Wow, I really can't believe you, Edward."
"What?" I asked defensively. I don't know what his issue is. His attitude just took a complete 360 turn and it was making me mad.
"You are such a pushover, that's what." He said. I really don't understand what I did to deserve this.
"Emmett…what the hell? Everything was fine and now you are freaking bullying me."
"I'm sorry, Edward, but that whole situation with Bella really pisses me off."
I was shocked just because the mood in the room changed so fast and it was giving me whiplash. "I don't know what I did wrong."
"You are letting her be alone with the kids?" He yelled.
"Whoa, Emmett don't fucking yell at me." I said and he seemed to realize how he was losing his temper. "And why wouldn't I? They are her kids."
"Yes, unfortunately." He said under his breath and I instantly tensed up.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"No, just say it, Emmett. What the fuck did you just say about my wife?" He can bully me all he wants, but not Bella. She isn't even here to defend herself, so I will have to do it for her even if it is against my brother.
"Calm down, Edward. I just made a decision yesterday, that's all."
"And what decision was that, Emmett?"
"That I am going to be more involved with you, Bella, and your kids. Someone has to step in and clean up that mess."
"Are you really calling my family a mess?" I was so fucking mad, it was taking everything inside of me not to punch him in the face right now. I always knew Emmett was a painfully honest person, but this was all too much at once, his words were hurtful.
"No." He groaned. "Yesterday…yesterday when Peyton was here, we couldn't find her. Well it's not like we lost her, but she just slipped off on her own. Guess where she was?"
He looked hurt as he was telling the story and I began to worry. "Where?"
"She was in the guest bedroom. I walked in, and she was curled up on the bed with her back to me. She was humming some song. I went to where I could see her, and she was crying, Edward."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "What?" My voice cracked.
"She was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she just wiped her tears away and smiled like nothing was wrong. That is not right, Edward. You have to see how that is not normal for a two year old to be holding in those emotions, and putting on a happy face when she feels it is necessary."
I could feel my knees get weak at his words and I just couldn't believe it. My poor baby. I had no idea that she was feeling like that. She has been the bright light through all of this and to know she was just putting on that façade to placate me surprised me and hurt me. She was growing up too fast, just like Liam has, she just had a better way of hiding it. In that moment I realized that both of my children have lost a part of their innocence, and the realization was enough to make me dizzy. "What am I supposed to do?" I asked as I buried my face in my hands.
"I think you need to leave her, Edward. A clean break, just get away."
My head lifted instantly at his words. "That is not going to happen, Emmett."
"And why not, Edward?"
"Because they are sad when she is gone, but when she is here, they are so happy. You should have seen them today when they both saw her, Emmett."
"That is because for one time in the week she is sober! What about those other times when she is drunk and not even there?"
I ran my hand through my hair and pulled. I groaned. "It's not that easy, Emmett. I can't just leave her."
"You can." He said.
"No I can't!"
"Why, Edward?" He asked more fiercely. "Why can't you do it, Edward?"
"What about you, Emmett? What if Rosalie was in Bella's place? What if your wife was suffering every day of her life and you couldn't do anything for her?" I got up from the chair, and tears started falling from my face as I talked through gritted teeth. "How would you feel if every fucking thing you did was wrong and only hurt your family more each time? You have no idea how that feels, Emmett." I yelled and wiped the tears from my eyes with my sleeve.
Emmett walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "I don't know how it feels, Edward."
I was shaking my head. "What if it was Rose, Emmett? Do you think you would be able to just walk away from her when she needed you?"
"If it meant protecting, my children, then yes."
I shrugged his hand off of my shoulders. "How is that protecting them, Emmett? Really…tell me how that will benefit my children. How is me taking away the mother that they both love so fully, helpful to them. They will hate me, Emmett."
"Edward…" He said and then put his hand back on my shoulder. "If Bella really loves all of you the way she says she does, she will find help and somehow get back to you guys. But if you keep on enabling her like this, she is never going to get help."
"So I should take her kids away from her completely? That is punishing her, Emmett. That is not fair at all."
"And her being a drunk is fair to all three of you?" He asked rhetorically. "Look, I know you love Bella."
"I do. I love her so much, Emmett. That is what makes this so hard." My voice got high at the end with the emotion in my voice and more tears started falling. I was sick of crying. I was sick of this pain.
"I know." He said sympathetically. "I know leaving her is going to hurt you just as much as it is going to hurt her. But this is a sacrifice you have to make, Edward."
My hands were shaking now; just thinking about this had me falling apart. "Why is this so fucking hard, Emmett? Some days I just want to give up. I feel like I have the world on my shoulders." I told him. I was close to sobbing now, and I felt so weak, but it felt good to let this out.
"I know, Edward." Emmett said with emotion in his voice.
"Everything I do is wrong. No matter the decision I make, it will end up hurting someone I love." A sob got caught in my throat and I could see Emmett had tears in his eyes. "It hurts me too, Emmett. I know my pain isn't as important as my kid's pain, but it does hurt. It all just hurts so fucking bad." I said and then Emmett pulled me close to him. I sobbed harder and clung to my big brother. He had a tight grip around me, and it felt good having someone comforting me for once.
I pulled away only seconds later, I knew I needed to get it together. "So do you think you are going to do it?" Emmett asked.
I shook my head. "I don't know."
I don't know if I am strong enough for that.
I pulled up to the office building 20 minutes before I was supposed to be there. I figured they wouldn't get mad at me for coming early. I stopped home to change after I left Emmett's house. I was hoping to maybe get to spend just a little more time with Bella, but all three of them were taking a nap. I walked in on them all sleeping on mine and Bella's bed, and it was a beautiful sight to see. I was glad Peyton was able to take that nap she wanted so much to take. There weren't very many parking spaces around this building, so I parked on the street. The building was big, probably 11 stories or so. I was to go to the 6th floor. I took the elevator and then walked into the office area for the telemarketers.
I walked up to the front desk and there was a young girl there snapping her gum. "Excuse me?" I said. She looked up at me and smiled.
"Well hello." She said while looking me up and down. Creepy.
"Can you point me to where Mr. Wright is?" I asked.
"I can bring you to him!" She said and got up from behind the desk and in front of me. She brought me past a set of doors and into what was unmistakably the working area. There were dozens of cubicles throughout the room. The sounds of people talking, phones hanging up, and ringing filled the air. She brought my down one of the isles and I got a chance to observe some of the workers. Each of them were saying the same thing when the picked up the phone. Some I saw were amused, some were aggravated, and some had no emotion at all. I wonder what category I will fall under. The lady opened the door to a room that was off to the side where my new boss was. He was a young guy; maybe even younger than me. "Here's the new guy!" She said.
"Oh, Mr. Cullen, nice to see you." He walked to the other side of the desk and shook my hand. He had a Bluetooth headset on and a pocket protector. He meant business I guess.
"Nice to see you also." I said as I shook his hand. He had black hair that was shaved really short. His eyes were so brown they were almost black looking. I haven't really seen eyes like that. Bella's eyes were brown, but they were a more a milky chocolate brown.
"Okay, I am kind of busy right now, but I will brief you on the essentials so you can get started right away."
"Okay, sounds good." I said.
He went into his desk and took out a paper. "Here is the script you have to go by. Read exactly what is on it. There will be a list of numbers on your workstation, and Jade will bring you to it. We already had a briefing on Sunday, so you will be okay right?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"I will call you in to talk about more before you leave." He said.
"Okay, thank you." He smiled and kind of waved us out. Jade was walking in front of me and swaying her hips a little too suggestively. For the love of God…
She stopped at a cubicle. "This is your workstation!" She said happily. "The numbers are all right there. There is your headset, the computer, your chair." Why she was naming all of the items at my workstation I will never know but I didn't want to be rude. "I have a break at six if you want to meet me outside for a smoke or something."
"I don't smoke." I said and sat down at the desk. There was a wall in front of me and on my sides, definitely a downgrade from my office at the advertisement agency.
"Oh well we could still talk and do other stuff…" She said suggestively and ran her hands through her hair.
I held my ring finger out to her and wiggled it at her. "I'm married." I said.
She pouted and then walked away with a huff. Come on now, what have I gotten myself into? It didn't help that I haven't really had a great day, and now I have to be here. I looked to each of my sides, and there were two men around me. I gave each of them a polite smile and they just glared at me. This job is going to suck. I looked ahead of me, and I could see there was another person in front of me, I was guessing man, by the short brown hair, but it could have been a woman, I don't know.
I hope this goes by fast.
People are fucking mean to telemarketers.
Most of my phone calls went a little something like this.
"Hello."
"Hello am I speaking to Joanne Compton?"
Click
Next one.
"Hello?"
"Hello am I speaking to Vera Brady?"
"Yes."
"Oh well how are you doing to-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH" Ow, my ears.
Click
"Yo."
"Hello am I speaking to Tyler Teixeira?"
"Yes you are, what's up dude?"
"Nothing much, just wondering if you have ever thought of maybe buying a new vacuum cleaner?"
"Oh I am! Tell me more!" I could note the sarcasm in his voice, and I knew this was just going to be bad for me.
"Great! Well we have-"
"FUCK YOU!"
Click
"Hello?"
"Hello, am I speaking to Linda Levine?"
"Yes you are big boy." She said in a seductive voice. Oh fuck.
"Oh well how are you doing today…"
"You sound sexy."
"Er…So are you doing good?" Awkward.
"What are you wearing?"
Click
That was me that time.
I took the headset off of my head and threw it on the desk. I sighed loudly and buried my face in my hands. This job is going to drive me crazy. I heard a chuckle across from me; that is definitely a man.
"The first day is always the worst." A gruff voice said, and I was surprised someone in this place was being nice to me.
"How do you do this every day?" I asked. I saw that he was now sitting straighter in his seat and I could see his eyes over the top of the wall separating us. He had milky chocolate eyes; that was the only way to describe them. His hair wasn't as long as mine, but it wasn't shaved either.
"You get used to it. I actually laugh at it now. Some of the stuff people say is actually funny." He said and chuckled again.
"Well I hope I can get there someday."
"You will, don't worry."
"Well thanks for the vote of confidence." I said. I heard the wheels move on his chair as he pushed his chair back. His head went down, before reappearing before me so I could see his whole face. He was an older man with his brown hair, brown eyes, and mustache above his lips.
"What is your name?" He asked politely, he was leaning over the cubicle wall. His eyes were kind with laugh lines around them, although kind looking, his eyes also looked sad.
"Edward Cullen." I said.
He reached his hand out to me to shake. I shook it. "Nice to meet you, Edward. My name is Charlie. Charlie Clearwater."
I nodded my head and smiled. Maybe I could actually make a friend. This guy seems really cool, and there was something familiar about his presence.
"Nice to meet you, Charlie."
:O
I have to say if there is one thing I love about writing Fanfic, it is that my readers already know the characters. So being able to add this little bit of dramatic irony is just so great!
I would like to thank my FFBFF, Alexa, for pre-reading this bad boy, I really appreciated it!
Alexa and I are also working on a joint project together if you didn't know. She wrote that really awesome story "The Beauty of His Eyes". Our penname is MonyAlexa so be sure to look out for our story!
I don't really know what else to say except I hope you all liked the chapter! Review please and just tell me what you are thinking!
Next chapter is the chapter before the prologue!
Review please :]