A/N Welcome back fellas! I hope you had a great first working week (at least it was my first working week of the year). It's snowing again and I'm just glad to sit at home with a blanket and a hot tea and write on this oneshots. Perfect way to spend a sunday if you'd ask me. I hope you like this one.

Invader Johnny: That's right, but I really can't blame Fury for being a tiny bit afraid of the Black Widow. I mean, who isn't? :D

mika repalda: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :)

WidowInBlack: Thank you, I'm happy you liked it. Yeah, if it fits into the big reveal oneshot, I'll surely include a nod towards the fairytale :)

Title: Anguish (prompt #28)

Characters: Natasha, Laura (friendship)

Word count: ~1570

The shower hadn't helped at all. Sure, Natasha at least felt clean again, but the soothing effect of the shower was missing. Maybe it was due to the cold water but Natasha suspected something different. Her conversation with Bruce kept playing on and on inside her head. She stayed in the little bathroom while towel-drying her hair, hoping to evade Bruce as long as possible. Finally, she slipped into Laura's fluffy bathrobe and listened for sounds outside. Nothing. Bruce must have left, whether immediately after their conversation or later she didn't know. What she knew, though, was that the sensation in her stomach was not only disappointment, but also hunger. There was a certain danger to run into Bruce in the kitchen, but Natasha hoped others would be there too so that she could slip in, pinch something to eat and be out again without him noticing too much.

Natasha made it down the stairs without a sound, but then her plan was being ruined. "Auntie Nat," Lila squealed again happily and ran towards her.

Natasha suppressed a sigh but smiled at the girl and hugged her back tightly. It was always a mixture between happiness and sadness to see Clint's kids. Happiness because she knew they loved her no matter what and they always were stoked when she came visiting again, although most of the time she was just recovering from missions instead of playing with them. Sadness because Cooper, Lila and soon Nathaniel were her only chance to ever experience something like motherhood. "You're okay with all these strangers running around?"

Lila shrugged. "They're nice. Mister Thor let me try to lift his hammer, but it's really heavy. And Mister Tony and Mister Steve chopped some wood outside, although Mom wanted Dad to do it."

"Your Dad will do something else, I'm sure." Natasha let Lila down again and made way for the kitchen, the girl trailing her.

"Can we play later today?" Lila's voice was suppliant, but Natasha detected the urge behind it.

If Natasha was being honest, she was too tired to pretend happiness while playing with her honorary niece. Though before she could talk her way out of it, Laura stepped in. Apparently she had been in the kitchen preparing some sort of dinner. "Let Auntie Nat breath through for a moment. You know how Dad always needs a day after a mission before he's back in Dad-mode, and Natasha also needs some time. She'll play with you tomorrow. But I'm sure she'd be pleased about you colouring something for her."

"Okay," Lila pouted for a moment and then practically ran off to her room to start colouring.

"Thanks. You know I love the kids, but-"

"But there's something else going on in your head," Laura finished for her and looked her over. "Look, if I see something's wrong with one of the best spies in the world, this something must be something big. You wanna talk about it? I won't tell Clint, because this is girl's talk. Is Dr Banner involved?"

"Banner?" Natasha echoed, fighting hard to not let her surprise show on her face. "Why do you think he'd have something to do with it?"

Laura gave her a smile and picked Natasha's favourite tea from the shelf. "So you're not denying it. I just saw the way you two interacted with one another. You're not comfortable enough around each other to be just friends and Clint brought you inside instead of Dr Banner so you're not in a relationship."

"You did learn from Clint, huh?" Natasha commented and shook her head. With a small smile, she accepted the mug Laura placed in front of her and laid her hands around the ceramic.

"One of few perks of being married to an agent," Laura offered. "So spill. What did he do?"

"He did nothing," Natasha started, but didn't continue right away. Instead she looked down into her tea, evading Laura's investigating gaze. Sometimes she felt like Laura's daughter, too, and she could only envy the kids for having someone so caring look out for them. "It's my fault. He said he might go away because of the Hulk to not be a danger to anyone. To me. And I told him I don't care and I would accompany him. He's the only guy I opened up to, you know? Or at least the only guy after Clint who's anyway more like an annoying older brother."

"Well, that doesn't sound like there's any problem."

"Bruce said he'd be not right for me because he can't have children. Then I told him what the Red Room did to me." Natasha didn't explain this part any further. Laura had known about this long ago when she had patched up Natasha and asked about one finer scar on her stomach. "So instead of founding a family, it would just be the two of us. I could live with that, Laura. I could live without having children of my own if there's a guy I can really be me for a change."

Laura gently laid her hand on Natasha's arm and gave it a squeeze. "You can borrow the kids any time you like. I'm serious about that. They adore you, you're great with them… I couldn't wish for a better aunt for them."

"I don't even know if I ever want to have kids. It's just…" Natasha trailed off.

"You'd like to chance to do so. I think I understand that."

"And then he asked me about the dead. I told him, that they're dead. It doesn't help anyone to think too much about the people one killed."

"But he has a different opinion," Laura said. It was not a question.

Natasha nodded. "He may wants to run but he can't leave his past behind. Me neither. I mean, look at me, I carry my past everywhere I go. But I've learned to live with it. I have this great team watching out for me and sometimes I can save their lives because of the skills I have. That's enough for me to be able to move on and not think too much about the dead I leave behind. In our line of work, you have to kill someone to save another. That's what he doesn't get yet."

"Then why is this all your fault? You have different opinions on a certain topic, but that's no reason to blame anyone," Laura answered frowning. "Sure, it's a big topic, I get that, and I really don't know how I would react should I kill someone. But that's no reason to just blow everything off before you've really started it."

"As I said, he was the first one I was myself. No persona, no ulterior motives. Just me. That's the mistake. He showed me that not even someone with an at least similar bad past can deal with the real me. I-" Natasha took a breath and waved her hand. "Sorry. It's been a hard day."

Laura pushed her chair closer to Natasha's and laid an arm around her shoulders. She knew all too well that Natasha didn't do hugs offhandedly except when interacting with the children and so Laura just offered her the possibility to be embraced. "Now listen very closely, Natasha Romanoff. First, it is not a shame to show emotions. You have every right to be upset because the guy you love or at least have a huge crush on has problems with how you are. That happens and yes, maybe it's a trivial reason to be upset but a reason nevertheless. Second, he obviously doesn't know you good enough, otherwise he would know how rare it is for you to open up. How often were you here before you talked with me about private stuff? And third, he's the one missing out. If he thinks your different opinions on this topic is enough reason to tuck tail and run, then it's his problem. You are a strong, beautiful woman. You'll find a guy who takes you as you are, I'm betting on that. Though he'll have to pass Clint and me, but that's a different story." Laura noticed the little smile playing on Natasha's lips although it only lasted the blink of an eye. "There. As I said, it's fine to be upset. But he's not the only man on this planet."

"Thank you. It feels good talking with someone about it. Someone I know won't crack a joke or blush because it's awkward."

"I'll always be there for those kinds of talk, Nat. I promise. Cooper and Lila won't stay kids forever, so it's good training," Laura added with a wink. Slowly she stood up again, stroked gently over Natasha's hair and kissed it like Natasha imagined her mother would have done it. Then she took the mugs to the sink. "You wanna help with dinner."

"Sure. Just tell me what to do." The redhead joined Laura at the counter and during the time they took for the dinner preparation, the smile slowly returned to her lips and the knot in her stomach started to loosen up. Her mood got even better when she noticed Laura being rather little talkative towards Bruce during the dinner. It was childish but Natasha was glad to have Laura on her side, even if it was only for one evening. Laura sucked at being angry for a longer period of time.

2. A/N Well, what do you think? As always, please drop me any ideas, prompts or requests you might have, even if it's just along the lines that you would like to read more of a certain ship or see a continuation / pre-story of a certain chapter. You'd really help me with that, it's harder than I thought to come up with enough ideas and I would like to stick to the weekly update.