Chapter twenty six

Charlie arrived by floo back into his living room. 'Harry, Harry,' he yelled.

'Master Harry left Master Charlie. He was angry and threw a cup at the wall.' Kreacher said and he bowed.

Charlie sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. 'Where did he go Kreacher?' Charlie said softly.

'He left with Miss Lizzy a while ago Master Charlie. She was trying to stop him being angry,' the elf bowed.

'Thanks Kreacher.' Charlie said and he sat down heavily on the couch and decided to wait for Harry, knowing they were going to have one hell of a fight. He just didn't know how long he had to wait for.

Back at Lizzy's place Harry was lying in her bed wondering why he had slept with her.

She leaned up on her elbow. 'Harry, it doesn't mean anything. I just didn't want to be a virgin anymore, that's all and you needed something. I know you love Charlie, not me. And I just care about you as a friend,' she said softly. She knew she could never tell him the real reason, at least for a while.

'But Lizzy I'm gay, and married. I shouldn't have done this no matter what Charlie did. And why did you not want to be a virgin anymore? You could have found any man to have sex with. You're very pretty.'

'Yes, I could have got any man to sleep with me and I'm glad you think I'm pretty, but I didn't want to do it the first time with just anybody Harry. I wanted it to be with someone I liked and that was caring and loving. You are such a kind and loving person Harry, so when I saw how upset you were, I just knew I wanted it to be you. I'm sorry if I took advantage of your emotional state, because I know you wouldn't have normally done this, but I really didn't want to be a virgin anymore. Do you know what it's like for someone my age to still be a virgin?'

'No, how old are you Lizzy?' Harry asked.

'Twenty four, I've been told I look younger, like twenty, but I'm twenty four,' she smiled down at Harry.

'So you don't want anything from me apart from that, apart from sex?' Harry asked quietly.

'No, nothing, you're a good friend Harry, that's all. So, are you calm now, do you think you could go back and speak with Charlie? He's probably home wondering where you are.'

'Well, I'm calm thanks to you. But do you know you're the only woman I've sleep with? I never thought I'd ever have sex with a woman.'

'I wasn't sure if you ever had sex with a woman or not. So, since you are gay, was it that bad?' she asked looking worried.

Harry laughed. 'No, it was nice actually, but I don't want to do it again. Nothing against you Lizzy, I just don't want to have sex with a woman again. I like having sex with men, well I've only ever had sex with Charlie, no one else.'

'Let's get dressed, and you go back and talk calmly to him. Find out why he did it Harry, because there must be a reason.'

'Alright, but I'm going to tell him what I did. I want say it was you though Lizzy.'

'Thanks Harry and it'll be fine with us working together again. Like I said, I just didn't want to be a virgin anymore and I wanted someone nice to be the first time. So now, hopefully if I meet someone, I won't feel so awkward.' Lizzy smiled and they both got up and dressed. Lizzy turned away from Harry, picked up her wand waved it over her then turned back. 'You go Harry, talk to Charlie, I'll come back tomorrow and do the pictures, there almost finished. I'd say another two days and they will be done.'

'Okay, thanks Lizzy.' Harry hugged her and stepped into the fireplace and vanished. Harry stepped out of his fireplace and saw Charlie sitting on the couch and he instantly felt angry and hurt.

'Harry, I'm sorry.' Charlie said as he stood up.

Harry walked past him and up the stairs, not saying anything. He went into the bathroom, stripped off and had a shower. When he finished, Harry wrapped a towel around him and walked out of the bathroom.

'Will you listen to what I have to say please love?' Charlie asked quietly

'Why, you said you never wanted anyone but me, so tell me why you did it Charlie?' Harry said angrily, still standing there in a towel.

'That man,' Charlie started and saw Harry wince. 'He was the one I was with at Hogwarts Harry.'

'So, you did have feelings for him then, or where you just trying to relive you're youth with fucking the first man you had?' Harry said angrily.

'No Harry, will you just listen to me please.' Charlie said and he was starting to get angry himself.

'Fine, tell me why my husband fucked another man?' Harry said fiercely, standing in front of him with his arms folded.

'The man he has been living with for years left him and he was upset. I was just trying to comfort him and things got away from us. I never meant for it to happen Harry, please believe me. I was just trying to help a friend.'

Harry stood there staring at Charlie and he could feel how angry he was, but he also wanted to hurt Charlie for hurting him, so an idea came to him. He pulled the towel off of him and started to take Charlie's clothes off. When he was stripped he led Charlie to the bed, pushed him down and rolled him over onto his stomach. He never said a word the whole time he stripped Charlie. He laid down on top of Charlie, then stop, he waved his hand and had Charlie's hands and ankles tied to the bed frames, then Harry got off Charlie and stood there staring at him.

'Harry, let me go, please.' Charlie said looking over his shoulder at him. 'Harry, I'm sorry. I never meant it to happen. Please let me go love.' Charlie said softly.

'No, I won't let you go. Do you know what I did Charlie, because of how hurt I was?'

'Kreacher said Lizzy was trying to stop you being angry and you went with her.' Charlie said struggling with the bonds.

'I mean after I left, I decided to hurt you.' Harry said fiercely. 'I slept with a woman Charlie. So what do you think of that?' Harry said, then got dressed and left the room leaving Charlie tied up. He heard Charlie yell after him.

'Harry, let me bloody go.' Charlie shouted.

Harry went down to the living room and poured himself a drink, then downed the whole thing. He poured another large one and downed that one as well. He could hear Charlie yelling to be let go, but Harry just ignored him and sat down with the bottle and a glass and kept drinking. One after another he downed, until he started to feel the affects of the alcohol. He heard the sound of apparition, but he just kept drinking. A few minutes later Charlie walked down and sat beside him. But Harry just kept downing drinks.

'Harry, stop, look you're getting drunk love.'

'I don't fucking care Charlie.' Harry said slurring his words. 'You hurt me and this is helping.' Harry yelled.

Charlie grabbed the bottle of Harry, 'Stop it Harry. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, but please don't do this. Let's talk this out. I don't want to lose you love.'

'Might be too late for that, you cheated on me, had sex with another man. If I could have done it with another man, I would have just to hurt you. But I couldn't bring myself to do that, so I slept with a woman instead.' Harry said swaying slightly.

'That still hurt me hearing you say that Harry, it doesn't matter if it was a man or a woman. You slept with someone to get back at me and you did hurt me.'

'Good.' Harry said fiercely. 'Why Charlie,' Harry's voice had softened, 'you said you never would and I believed you.'

'It just happened love, please. I know you won't forgive me, at least for a long time. But don't give up on us love, I love you so much.' Charlie said and he could feel the tears falling down his face but he just let them fall.

'No I don't forgive you, I don't know if I can. But sleeping with a woman is nowhere near as bad. If I found you with a woman, it still would have shocked me, but not hurt as much. We're gay, we have sex with men and you did with another man.' Harry said and put his head down in his hands.

'I know I hurt you love, please Harry, don't give up on us, let's just try and forget about it. I can't change the fact that it happened, and I'm sorry.' Charlie said softly, and put his hand on Harry's arm and was thankful that Harry never shook it off.

'Did you enjoy it Charlie?' Harry said softly, still not looking at him. Harry sat there and Charlie never answered, so he looked up at him. 'Did you, tell me Charlie, did you enjoy having sex with him?'

'Harry, please, let's not talk about it,' Charlie said looking at Harry hoping he would drop it.

Harry stood up and faced away from him. 'You did, didn't you? You enjoyed having sex with him.' Harry said and could feel his voice choke up.

Charlie stood up and turned Harry to face him. 'Yes, I did. But it was not like what we have. Please, I'm so sorry love.' Charlie could see how upset and hurt Harry was and pulled him into his arms. 'I'm sorry Harry, I'm so sorry.'

'If you want us to try and work this out, you're not going back. I wouldn't be able to trust you if you did.' Harry said softly.

'I already told Jeremy I'm not going back at all love, even if we find Rose, I'm not going back. I don't want to do anything to hurt you ever again.' Charlie said and held Harry tighter.

'That's a start Charlie.' Harry said then looked up at him and caressed his face. 'I don't want to lose you love, but it's going to take time for me to forgive you.'

'I know it will, and again, I'm sorry. Let's just try and put it behind us and spend all our time together.'

'So, what will you do after we find Rose?'

'I don't care right now, I just want to be with you.' Charlie said then leaned down and kissed Harry tenderly. He was relieved when Harry kissed him back.

'Alright, all I can do is try to forget it. But I'm warning you now Charlie, if you ever do that again, it will be over, for good, I mean that.' Harry said fiercely. 'I couldn't handle it if you did it again.'

'I won't, I promise.' Charlie said and Harry nodded. Harry sat back down and pulled Charlie down with him and kissed him fiercely, like he was claiming him. 'I will be with you always, if you never want me out of your sight, I'll even do that love.'

'That's what it might be like for a while, until I feel the trust coming back.' Harry said softly, looking at him. 'Now, why I went there was to show you something.' Harry said taking a deep breath, then he picked up the enlarged map and handed it to Charlie. 'See, there's a cabin in the forest there, deep in the forest.'

'Yeah, I can see that. We could look there first if you want to?'

'That's what I thought. Lizzy is almost done with the pictures. She reckons another two days and they'll be done. So we'll be able to leave the day after that.'

'That's good then, did you enlarge the other maps?'

'No, just this one, I spotted a small white dot, that's why I enlarged it. If this one doesn't pan out, then we'll enlarge the others.'

'Yeah, we can do that, but can I ask you something love?'

'You can ask Charlie, can't guarantee I'll answer.' Harry said softly.

'Who was the woman?' Charlie asked, not sure he really wanted to know.

'No one, just some woman, it doesn't matter anyway.'

'So, it wasn't Ginny?' Charlie asked.

'No, I wouldn't do that to her or use her like that Charlie, it was just some woman.'

'Can I ask one more thing love?' Charlie asked putting his hand under Harry's chin making him look at him.

'What Charlie?' Harry sighed.

'Did you enjoy having sex with a woman? You've never done that before.' Charlie asked looking into Harry's eyes.

Harry looked intensely at Charlie. 'It was different, but yes, I enjoyed it. I just don't want to do it again, ever.'

'I'm glad Harry, now we both don't want to do those things again. Just us, I promise.'

'How did you get untied, I was planning on leaving you there until tonight at the earliest.'

'I called Kreacher and he untied me. If you would have thought about it, you probably could have told Kreacher not to untie me. I know you were angry love and still are and that will take a while to get over.'

'Yes, it will. Seeing you with him, I felt like my heart was breaking in two.'

'I know love, I'm so sorry for doing that to you.' Charlie put his arms around Harry and pulled him into him, holding him tight. 'I'll never do anything to hurt you ever again, I promise.'

Harry looked up at his husband, 'I know, let's not talk about it anymore, please.'

'Okay, no more talk on that, let's just concentrate on how we're going to get to this cabin.'

'We could do that, but I want to do something else first.' Harry said softly.

'What's that love, you can do anything you want too?'

'Make love to me Charlie, I need you to, I need to feel you.' Harry said again softly.

Charlie got up and took Harry's hand and led him back upstairs and into their bedroom. He took Harry's clothes off, then his own. They laid down on the bed, touching everywhere and kissing none stop. They made love for a couple of hours, but it was more of Charlie making love to Harry's entire body. When they finished, Charlie held Harry tight against him, until Kreacher walked into the room.

'Dinner is ready Master Harry, Master Charlie.' Kreacher bowed.

'We'll be right there Kreacher.' Charlie said, looking at the little elf. 'Let's go eat love.'

'Okay,' Harry and Charlie both dressed and went down to the kitchen and started eating.

Charlie watched Harry the whole time, he ate very little, just pushed his food around a lot.

'You need to eat love, we've got a lot to do over the next couple of days, then after that as well.'

'I know love, it's just that my stomach's not feeling too good at the moment. It's all in knots.'

'Because of me Harry?' Charlie asked quietly.

'Partially, but part is to do with Rose. What do you think she'll do if we find her love?'

'From what Dumbledore said about her not being able to stay around and watch Lily raise her son, I think she will be happy to see you, after that I just don't know.'

'Yeah, I don't either and I'm getting very nervous about seeing her if we find her.'

'Yes, you would. But I think it will be alright when she see's you love.'

'I hope so Charlie.' Harry said softly, but still he just pushed his food around. 'Charlie, what was his name?'

'Harry, I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore.'

'I know, I was just wondering.' Harry said softly as he stared at his plate. 'Will you tell me?'

'Alright, if you're sure you want to know.' Charlie said and Harry looked at him and nodded. 'Okay, it was Mark, Mark Langstrum.'

'So, you went to Hogwarts together and now he works with dragons as well.'

'Harry, please, just stop, I won't ever see him again, I gave you my word.'

'I know, it's just…' Harry hesitated not being able to continue.

'Just what love?' When Harry didn't answer, Charlie held his hand tightly in his own, 'Tell me, please.

'You seem to have a lot in common with him, that's all.'

'That doesn't matter Harry, I love you, not him. Look, would it make you feel better to go have sex with a man to get back at me. It would hurt like hell, but I would understand if you needed to do that to me. I hope you don't, but I would understand.'

'No, I don't ever want to have sex with any man but you. I did think about it though because I wanted to hurt you, I just couldn't.'

'You have always been the better man Harry, stronger too. If I was strong enough, I would have resisted when he started…' Charlie stopped before he said anymore.

'Started what Charlie?' Harry asked, then looked up at Charlie again. 'Tell me, what did he do to get you to have sex with him?'

'You said we weren't going to talk about this and I don't think you want to know love.'

'I might not want to, but I need to. Tell me Charlie, what did he do so you would cooperate with him?'

'Alright, alright,' Charlie said sighed deeply. 'Well, first he just kissed me. I was so shocked, then I tried to tell him we couldn't, that I was married and I loved my husband. Then…are you sure you want me to say this love?'

'Yes, very sure,' Harry said sadly.

Charlie told Harry everything that had happened, at first. Charlie could see how hurt Harry was, then Charlie saw the hurt look turn to anger.

'So he did you, finished you even after you told him you were married.' Harry said feeling angry again.

'Yes, he did. Now can we please drop it.'

'Well, I'll tell you this love, if I ever see him again, he won't be standing and probably won't be conscious when I get through with him. I need to know a couple more things, then I'll drop it for good.'

'Alright, what?' Charlie asked.

'Did you do anything to him Charlie?'

'No, I didn't.' Charlie said straight away.

'Good, because if you did, I don't know what I would do, does he love you Charlie? Is that why he wanted you?'

'No, he doesn't Harry. He loves the man that left him, he was just upset, that's all. So is that it, or you want to know more?'

'No, that's it. We won't mention it again.' Harry sighed deeply.

'Good, now will you please eat.'

'I can't love, all that alcohol as made me feel terrible.'

'Why don't we have a shower and get into bed love.' Charlie said softly.

'Yeah, alright, instead of a shower, let's have a bath. I want to feel your arms holding me.' Harry said.

'Let's go then.' Charlie said and they both walked up the stairs and into their bathroom. They stripped off their clothes, then Charlie ran the bath and they both got in. Harry sitting between Charlie's legs and his arms around Harry, holding him tight. 'This is nice Harry.'

'Yeah, it is love.' Harry said with his head on Charlie's chest. 'I love you so much.' Harry said feeling very emotional.

'I know Harry, I love you to. Please don't get upset,' Charlie said feeling upset himself for hurting Harry like that. He never would have believed he would have done anything to hurt Harry, now he had and it was killing him.

'I can't help it.' Harry said and felt the tears coming, then he just started crying hard and he kept gripping Charlie's arms. 'Hold me tighter Charlie.'

Charlie could feel Harry's desperation, so he held him really tight until he could calm down. It took until the water was cold before Harry's sobs eased. Charlie felt terrible for making Harry cry, and he needed to make it up to him.

'Let's get out of the bath Harry, the waters cold.' Charlie said as he kissed his neck.

'Okay.' Harry said and his voice was hoarse. They both stepped out of the bath and dried off, then got into bed. Again Harry held onto Charlie tighter than normal. 'I'm going to be a bit possessive of you for a while Charlie, you know that?'

'Yeah, I know, but I don't care as long as you feel secure love.' Charlie said as kissed the top of Harry's head.

'Charlie, I know we weren't going to talk about it, but I can't help it. I know why you did it, but how could you love? I can't even imagine doing that.'

'I don't know, I really can't answer that. It just happened, but I will tell you one thing though.'

'What's that Charlie?' Harry said.

'I never did anything, he did it all. I just couldn't do it with him. I still know that it shouldn't have happened, but all I kept thinking about was you while he did me. See, with us, it's making love, what he did, was just sex. I don't know if that means anything or not, but that's how I felt. You and I make love Harry, anyone before I met you was just sex, it's different in the way I feel about it. Am I making sense at all, I just don't know right now. I just feeling terrible for making you feel this way, for hurting you this way, hurting you in anyway.'

'It does make sense love.' Harry said sitting up and looking at Charlie. 'It was the same with the woman. It was just sex, not making love and since I've never had either before, I could feel it. Sex with her, was just a physical act, making love with you was more than just physical. It's pure, loving, that's the only way I can describe it. But why didn't you tell me you worked with him?'

'I didn't want to upset you love. He was in a relationship with that man, had been for years, we were just friends, that's all. That's why he came to me to tell me his man left him. Jeremy sent us both over to Romania and I had no idea anything was wrong with him until early this morning.'

'I know I can forgive you for this love, but it still going to take time for me to trust you again. But since you said you never did anything that makes me feel loads better. Now I think I can stop talking about it and try and put it behind us.' Harry said and leaned in and kissed Charlie tenderly.

'Yes, we will put this behind us love. So lets get some sleep, we've got a lot to do over the next however long it takes to find Rose.'

'Okay love.' Harry give Charlie a small smile, then cuddled back up against him.

They held each other tight, until they were both sound asleep. One with the hopes he could make the other forget and stop hurting so much. The other with the hope he will learn to trust again, as he believed, without trust, you can't have a relationship. Harry always had trust issues, but he got past that, until now. So he hoped with time, he could learn to trust Charlie again.