After cleaning all the mud off, I dressed and made my way back to the house without encountering anyone, which was a good thing, because if I had come across three certain dwarves I would not be responsible for my actions. After stuffing my dirty clothes into my pack, I started to get up to go in search of something to eat when I heard a voice behind me.
"Lass, can I talk to you in private for a moment?" he asked and I turned to see Balin standing behind me with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
However, he only motioned me to follow him outside and to a bench far enough away, as to where we would not be overheard.
"You dropped this on your way out earlier," he stated turning around to face me and handed me one of my pouches of healing herbs.
I looked at it in confusion, wondering why he would need to give this back to me in private, until I noticed his eyes lingering on the small runes written on the pouch identifying the contents.
"Fever Few," I thought, reading it to myself.
Then I remembered what he had said upon examining the graves back in the village and felt dread wash over me. He knew and understood Elemental runes. I looked at him apprehensively, waiting for the anger and accusations to start.
He just looked back at me and stated calmly, "You are an Elemental."
I looked at him, trying to act confused and laughed a little.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, "No, I'm not."
"Lass, no one else uses these runes," he replied simply, watching me expectantly.
I sighed, knowing I was caught, and sat down heavily on the bench.
" How long have you known?" I asked in a defeated tone, giving up any thought of pretense.
"I suspected something after your reaction back in the village. You acted like you were there and knew those people," Balin said, taking a seat next to me, "You were there, weren't you?"
I nodded keeping my eyes fixed on the ground in front of me, still waiting for his anger.
"Why have you not told Thorin? You have seen how he blames himself for that night, for what his father did. He thinks you are all dead," he continued, starting to sound angry, as I knew he would.
"I…well…" I started but could not find the words as tears came to my eyes.
So, I simply extended my hand and, without any effort, allowed a small flame to ignite in my palm. I turned my hand this way and that, allowing the little flame to dance among my fingers, then clenched my hand into a fist extinguishing it.
"Oh," was all Balin could say.
"Yeah. It is not a matter of trust as to why I have not told you all, it is a matter of self-preservation. Old wounds run deep and old scars still linger," I said, hoping he would understand.
"Lass, things have changed since then. Thorin is not his father. He would never do that," Balin reasoned.
"You want to know what is the worst thing burned into my mind from that day?" I whispered, almost to myself, "It was not seeing King Thrain, and yes I saw him with my own eyes, or watching him murder my best friend's father. It is the memory of carrying a four-year-old little girl, wrapped in a burial shroud, to her grave!" My voice started to shake as the emotion of that day washed over me again.
"A little girl who had done nothing, she was only just getting to know the world around her. Her only misfortune was to be born an Elemental!" I ground out, anger seeping into my words, "I was a healer, yet could do nothing to save her, except ease her suffering as she died!" I stopped, trying to calm myself.
"When what was left of my people reached Rivendell, we were given sanctuary. While we were there I met Lord Elrond's children and convinced his sons to teach me to fight." I continued, feeling the need to make him understand my reasons and what had happened, "It is because of them that I know how to use my bow, arrows, and swords. You want to know why I have kept this to myself?! Because for the last twelve years, ever since I left the settlement where my people are now, I have been pursued from one end of Middle-Earth to the other by Goblins, Orcs, Men and, yes, Dwarves. I have learned that secrecy is the best way to survive," I finished, tears starting to run down my face, and Balin, who had sat quietly as I spoke, simply nodded.
"I understand, lass. If you are concerned about me running back and telling the company, don't be. It's not my secret to tell. However I hope you will realize that we would not let that kind of harm come to you again, should you choose to tell us," he said taking my hands in his.
I looked into his face, shocked to see how much he cared. It felt like sitting with my Grandfather again. My Grandfather had died some years before Smaug's attack, so finding the same cool headed and understanding personality in this dwarf gave me a sense of comfort that I had not felt in years.
"Thank you." I said simply.
He just gave my hands a gentle squeeze, and then left me to compose myself.
During the next couple of days, it became obvious that Thorin was keeping Fili, Kili, and Dwalin busy in tasks that could only be viewed as punishment. Several times, I passed through the house and caught sight of Dwalin, looking bored to tears, sitting with Balin and Gloin going over paperwork and the financials of the quest. He shot me a very apologetic look, almost begging me to save him. However, I just smiled and went on my way thinking that Thorin's punishment was way better than any I could come up with seeing as he knew Dwalin so well.
I also caught sight of Thorin sparring with Fili and Kili. I moved closed, figuring that this could be very entertaining. As I settled, I watched as Thorin, in almost one move, swiftly disarmed Fili and knocked him to the ground by ramming him with his shoulder and then swung around to trip Kili onto his backside.
"Please, Uncle, a break. We are tired!" Fili almost begged from the ground sounding completely out of breath.
Thorin just scowled at him, "Do you think that that Orc pack that has been hunting us will give you a break just because you are tired?" he snapped, "If you two spent more time working on your swordsmanship than on ridiculous pranks, you would have more endurance and your sword play would be better."
The boys groaned and flopped onto their backs, obviously spent and I could not help but chuckle.
"Can't we just go and apologize to Farren for what we did? You're killing us!" Kili groaned dramatically.
"No, up!" Thorin growled, "This is something that should have been taken care of a long time ago."
Fili and Kili groaned again, but obediently got back to their feet. I sat and watched for a while longer, all the while finding it difficult to keep my mind on the bout. I just kept watching Thorin and could not help but notice how handsome he looked with his hair mussed and his complexion slightly rosy from the exertion. Suddenly, Thorin knocked Fili and Kili down again and our eyes locked, and I felt my face flush as I knew I had been caught staring. A slight smirk crossed his face at my reaction and I felt myself go even redder. Suddenly Fili charged his uncle, trying to take advantage of his distraction. Thorin turned to fend him off and, as he was occupied, I scurried off before he turned to look at me again.
"What is wrong with you?!" I chastised myself, mortified that I had been caught ogling him in a way that no proper woman should, as a strange feeling blossomed in my chest.
"This quest needs to end, before I get my foolish heart broken!" I thought with a shake of my head and headed back to the house relieved that we would be leaving in the morning.