The song is Roberta Flack's The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. Yeah, I heard it first on X-Men, but it's a great song.

Time had slowed to a crawl inside of the cold loft. Traffic wasn't even loud enough to penetrate the walls on a Sunday morning. The only sounds that simulated any bit of life was the tapping of rain against the windows and Roberta Flack's voice singing low from the phone on the night stand.

The first time ever I saw your face

Balthazar had enough sense to at least turn on some oldies music before the loft got too quiet. He hadn't aimed for any love song, not that the words or the meanings thereof were never even noted. Music just kept him grounded when things were like this.

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

Cocoa had curled against him at some point in the night, demanding attention from the still hands every now and then. Right now, the little fluff ball slept against his chest, rising and falling with the sound of the rain.

Balthazar, for all intents and purposes, just stared at the wall, trying very hard to not think about everything right now.

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

He doesn't even know when anymore, but Balthazar had long ago put every number in his contacts on a reject call list. He liked the music, but the ringing got annoying very quickly. The chimes of texts, however, he could handle. Just little bumps in the flow of stillness. Small ripples that couldn't interrupt anything.

To the dark and the endless skies, my love

He told himself more than once that this was an overreaction. The reasons behind all of this was made perfectly clear and seemed more than logical. But he knew how he felt about it. Thinking about it, for right now, was completely out of the question. He remembered shutting down in front of him. It was just easier to keep the same rhythm.

To the dark and the endless skies

The first few loud poundings on his door went ignored, figuring that the effort to even so much as look in that direction was way too much that he was willing to give over such a stupid thing. It didn't matter. Whoever was on the other side, it just didn't matter.

They knocked again, louder. "Balthazar, are you in there?" That time he looked over to Castiel's voice. "I just want to know if you're alive right now! Humor me!"

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth

"I'm not leaving, Balthazar. Open up."

He looked back to the same spot on his wall, debating on what to do. Get up and face Cas or let the cops barge in who were no doubt already on speed dial. Now who was overreacting?

"Balthazar?"

I felt the earth move in my hand

It was surprisingly easy to swipe a hand over his phone to pause the music as he got up, stirring the cat a bit. In a couple of strides, he unlocked the door and opened it.

Castiel, eyes wide with shock that the door opened so fast, looked the blonde up and down. Boxers and a t-shirt was good enough, right? "Are you okay?"

Balthazar huffed a long sigh, leaning against the door for stability. "Cassie, Cassie... To what do I owe the pleasure?"

The other man looked him up and down again, brows furrowing with suspicion. "You weren't answering your phone."

"Many people don't when they don't want to be bothered. What do you want?"

Ignoring the question, a skill that Cas was talented in, he furrowed his brow more to the point of squinting. "I only started calling after I went by your shop to see if you wanted to get lunch together. Instead I found Anna about to have a panic attack, because they haven't seen or heard from you in nearly three days."

"They managed a year without me," he grimaced back, "I think they can handle a few days."

Castiel's foot wedged into the door, which must have hurt considering how hard Balthazar had tried to slam it in his face. The blonde growled, but didn't get to demand what he wanted seeing as how this was a bit far for lunch, before Cas spoke again. "What's wrong?" The door flung open again so the blonde could give him a proper glare, but the other man just frowned back at him. "It's something bad. What happened?"

It was Balthazar's turn to ignore the questions as he went straight to, "What the hell do you want, Cas?"

The dark haired man stood still for a moment, critically studying his friend over a concerned frown. After a moment, right before Balthazar was about to try slamming the damn door again, he asked, "Can I come in?"

He debated it. He really debated it, but Castiel wasn't the type to give up so easily. He would just end up calling someone else, and the last person that needed to be told of this nonsense was Lu. "Fine," he growled, swinging the door open and turning away towards the kitchen, the kitten now awake and following close at his heels.

Cas' foot falls and door closing shut drowned out the sound of rain. It was something different, something changing the current, and a part of him hated it. He just wanted to go back to the stillness, but maybe this was good. The cat had to be hungry, after all.

As if to answer him, a tiny meow met his ears as he neared Cocoa's food bowls. While he fed the little thing, he heard Cas sit at his tiny kitchen table, just going ahead and making himself right at home. Not that Balthazar minded that much. It just implied that he wasn't leaving anytime soon. But the blonde stood up and decided to go ahead and put the kettle on. What the hell, right? Sounded like Cas was here to stay.

As the stove eye clicked to life, his friend finally spoke up again. "You don't want to talk about it, do you?"

"Pray tell," Balthazar reached into his cupboard for a couple of mugs, "what was your first clue?"

"I hate to say it," but he was going to anyway, "but I'm not leaving until I know what's going on."

"That sounds a bit nosy of you." He had to open a whole new box of tea bags just for this. Figures. But maybe tea would help him out, too. Maybe just moving around would help. It just seemed so much easier to let the world stop, though.

"I want to help."

It took a moment for Balthazar to catch back up to the conversation. Right. Nosy. "Maybe there's some things out there that you can't help, hmm?"

"Maybe I can't save us from the inevitable nuclear apocalypse, but I can help my friend get up in the afternoon."

Felt like morning. The blonde turned to face him, giving a strained smile, but it didn't look to do any damage to Castiel's frustrated face. "How kind of you to try."

Once he turned back to the stove, the conversation lulled off into the quiet, the rain the only small constant in his life again. That is until the kettle began to scream, and Cas figured that was his cue to attempt conversation again. "It's okay if you don't want to talk to me, but I still want to know how I can help you."

There was a worry under his words that could have easily been missed if Balthazar didn't know him so well. The control he held, the long silences between sentences, the careful choosing of words- Yes, he was quite worried. Castiel thought that he was going through a bad episode again, which was clearly why he wasn't repeating his questions or guessing at the matter, for fear that Balthazar would blow up. And he would. He absolutely would right now.

He leaned against the counter with a warm mug between his hands, the other still steaming on the surface next to him, though his friend made no moves to take it. Cas stared at him, just like he had since he walked into the loft. Balthazar ignored the eyes boring into him and blew at his tea. "Lu broke up with me." He took a long sip, the nearly boiling water searing down his throat, but the pain felt nice and the taste was warm. It felt good, made him feel a little more alive than he had thirty minutes ago.

Only after he sighed did he realize that there was no response made. He wasn't sure what exactly would be said, but silence wasn't what he expected... Cas was looking for him to get lunch initially. How long had it been since he even ate? "You hungry?" Balthazar wasn't, but he sat the mug down all the same, searching for a pan to put on the stove.

Castiel's voice came out quiet, weak, and hurt with shock. "Are you sleeping?"

"Do you want to earn your food or not? Get the eggs. Wash your hands." He pointed resolutely at the refrigerator and was pleased when, after a hesitant beat, Cas got up and did as was told. They stood side by side, making a small meal together in thankful silence.

The first day, Lu tried to tell himself that all of this was going to be okay in the end. He'd get custody, get back with Balthazar, and the world would be right again. Fooling himself didn't last long, so he just resorted to acting like everything was going to be okay.

No one really seemed to be fooled by it, not even Lily, right up until Gabriel and Michael decided to give them a surprise visit. As soon as Lu opened the door, he could see right through whatever they claimed this was. It had intervention written all over it. All the rest took was cornering him.

Somehow, Gabriel ended up distracting Lily in the living room while Michael sat himself with Lu at the kitchen table. "All right," his brother began, folding his arms against the table, "What is it?"

"What's what?" Lu didn't look to him, but merely watched the living room where his girl was. Going around the subject wasn't going to work, but he tried to deflect it anyway, tried to make it obvious how much he didn't want to go into this.

But Michael, of course, persisted. "I know all of this has been hell on you, but something happened not long ago that made all of this a lot worse. Everyone sees it, even the baby. Something else is wrong."

"You think the threat of losing my daughter isn't enough to break me down, Michael?" He still didn't look to him.

"If it was just that, then you would have broken a long time ago. Was it Ruby? This started right after you told me she came by."

Fuck. Lu sighed and leaned back in the chair, turning his attention towards the table. It was smart how they did this, how they knew Michael was the only one to beat this out of him. "Turns out," he sighed again, rubbing his face, "the Director at DCFS is homophobic. I think he might know Ruby, too, but that's not the issue right now. He told me that they wouldn't back a same sex couple getting custody of a child, so I broke things off with Balthazar." After a broken moment, Michael didn't speak up. Lu swallowed, muttering, "I think I hurt him."

"Lu-"

"I told him the truth," he deftly tried to defend himself, sitting straighter, "Told him everything that happened, but it didn't really... end up going as planned. He was just-" Shut off. Completely closed away from him. A totally different person. Lu knew more than most how much a family meant to him, and he tore that trust to shreds. "I think I hurt him pretty badly."

After a full second, Michael shifted. "Lu, you- You didn't have to break up. So long as they believed-"

"I wasn't about to half ass it if the drawback meant losing Lily," he hissed back, "That bitch stooped this low. She wants my little girl bad. I'm not letting her anywhere near her." Fuck second chances. Fuck being a mother. Fuck the sake of reason. Ruby went too far. She was never getting Lily, in any form. "Besides, I-... I wouldn't have been able to keep going like this without him if I knew he was still there. I had to do this."

His brother combed a hand through his hair in frustration, a trait they both shared when things were tense. "Fuck... Fuck..." Lu knew that Michael had greatly approved of Balthazar as a part of their family, so what he felt was definitely not just for show. "It's not over, Lu. Ruby can't possibly get any more high ground, not after playing all of these cards. If this is going to court like you said, then there's no way that they'll let her have sole custody." But joint was still not out of the question, and that burned Lu. "And when it's over, when all this fucking bullshit is done, you and Balthazar can fix whatever happened. I know he loves you, Lu. I saw the way he looked at-"

"Oh, God. Just stop."

"I'm serious. He-"

"It's not happening, Michael. Get your head out of your ass."

"Lu-"

He slammed his hand on the table, getting silence through the whole apartment and his brother to flinch away from him. A full ten seconds after Gabriel started to talk again, no doubt to distract his baby from the sudden noise, Lu relaxed back in his chair. "I fucked up." This was the third time they had gone through doubts. He wasn't about to put Balthazar in an on again off again relationship when the man deserved so much more than a college dropout that couldn't make up his mind. "I wouldn't want me either."

Mike let out a long sigh and quickly stood up from the table. "We'll talk about this again when you're done sulking," he growled, moving to the living room.

"Mail for you," Alfie chirped next to Sam's elbow, "from the courthouse, it looks like."

The intern, a quiet kid who had more knowledge behind his baby eyes than most realized, placed the manilla envelope on Sam's new-but-slightly-used desk.

The Winchester had been working more hours lately once the lawyer in charge of the firm he worked at agreed to take Lu's potential custody battle. Raphael Barnes' exact words were, "Give me everything you got on the mother, and I'll see to it that your friend keeps his kid," after Sam told him the whole situation.

"Thanks, man," Sam picked up the envelope, hoping this was one of the pieces he had been waiting for.

"You want any lunch?" Alfie asked as he headed back to the door, "Someone volunteered me to fetch burgers for everyone."

Sammy laughed, remembering those wonderful days of being an intern. "Nah, but thanks. I brought a salad."

"Figured you did," the kid shrugged, leaving the office as the Winchester finally got the envelope open.

Just as he had been hoping for the last week, it was Ruby's background check. "Finally," he whispered to himself, pulling out the package and flipping to the first page. Sure, he probably could have gone and picked all of this up himself, but things were currently not in too much of a rush right now, as was the joy of custody battles. Still, the first thing he read made his stomach flip without much prior notice. What the fuck was he looking at?

He turned the page, kept turning until things started to make a little bit more sense to him, trying to find a shred of the woman he barely knew in college. Maybe this was the wrong person. Maybe he got the wrong social security number or the wrong date of birth. But pictures of her were all over the packet... He just gave up and flipped to the back, not entirely ready for what he saw in front of him.

This was bullshit. It had to be.

He grabbed the papers and ran out of his office. "Alfie, wait!"

Oh, no! Another cliffhanger! Whatever will you do!