"Close Protection"
Disclaimer – As usual I own nothing but a large amount of debt, a severe lack of talent and a distinct lack of awesomeness!
Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (which still makes me very upset but not as much as before).
Authors Note – Happy New Year people, welcome to my first chapter of 2011. Thanks for the kind words about my overlong chapter - yes even you Hawke - back to normal this time (-:
I'm glad that the flashback with Gina met muster, I love Gina Campbell, I was gutted that she didn't appear in S4 as "promised" still she's around in our fan-fic hearts and that's ok with me.
Anyway, here's Chapter 26, the one with the ominous title, and probably a load of mistakes because it's 2am here and I'm tired, ill and grumpy, (no change there then) (-;
Hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 26 - The Talk...
To say the main course was awkward would be a slight understatement, I was having to concentrate so much on what I was doing and how I was behaving, being careful not to slip again; being careful not to let Emily play act in front of her mother once more.
To be honest though, I wasn't concentrating so much I didn't notice what I was eating. The main course was, by far, the best piece of food I've had put in front of me since my days with Amy; when we were visiting all the posh restaurants she loved and eating those expensive meals. Not to concentrate and savour every mouthful would have been disrespectful in the extreme.
And I'm never disrespectful, not around good food anyway.
The food served at Fitch Manor really was restaurant quality, a lovely piece of chicken sensitively cooked with a really good rich gravy sauce that had been served in its own little china boat. I could only imagine how much crockery this family had. Seriously there seemed to be something for everything, fucking gravy boats, vegetables in covered china bowls; plates, side plates the works; and everything fucking matched. The only time I've seen anything close was in an officers mess and I wasn't being invited to eat.
I was also trying my hardest to be delicate about my behaviour, watching the others carefully as they ate to make sure I used the right cutlery etc; it's not that I'm ignorant of the niceties of life, but it has been quite a while since I've enjoyed them.
Besides, if I'm honest I'm happier with a KFS set and a mess tin; I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth, mum definitely couldn't afford one of those. Some of the time we were lucky to put food on the table, some of the time I was grateful that mum and I got to eat together at all. I think it was then tha I learned my respect for food, clearing my plate at every meal and all that. I also learned to make sure mum had eaten or was eating before tucking in; I, at least, got a free meal at school every day; even if some of the little bastards I went with took the piss out of me for it.
"Is everything all right with your meal Naomi?" Jenna asked, startling me slightly. She hadn't said a word to me since she'd caught her daughter stroking my arm; instead I'd caught her, out of the corner of my eye, watching me carefully as I chatted with James.
"Everything's just lovely Jenna, thank you. I don't think I've eaten this well in the last twelve months. Your chef is a bit of a genius, I wish we'd had someone deliver chicken this juicy to us when I was abroad. I'm afraid most of the chicken I ate over there tasted like it was out of a packet, or a tin; in fact most of it was."
"Oh yes, he costs us a fortune but it's well worth it for times like this. A lot of the time it's just me here, but I do like entertaining guests so I keep him on all year round."
"Money well spent then," I replied smiling through my nerves and cutting into the steak once more.
"Well I don't have many little vices myself, but entertaining and eating well are two of them. Fortunately I don't have to spend hours in that gym Robert had built to keep trim."
"So, Emily takes after you then?"
She eyed me suspiciously and I could feel Emily's eyes upon me as well as we spoke. "In what way is that dear?" Jenna asked sweetly, picking up her glass of wine and taking a drink.
"Well, I've only seen her eat a couple of times and she can pack food away like no other person I've ever seen, yet in the week I've known her I've only seen her exercise once, and that was this morning."
"Oi cheeky," Emily said elbowing me in the side. "I don't eat that much."
"Emily you eat like a horse and you never seem to put on any weight," James said from across the table. "You always have. Katie hates you for it. Why's she mad at you anyway? She glared at me for even mentioning you earlier."
"Katie hates me for a lot of things James, she always has; you know that. But I think she's just jealous that I looked better than her last night and I don't have to work as hard. She never said a word to me over breakfast and that's not like her. I think she's sulking."
I bit back a smirk at that comment, obviously my words from this morning had sunk in at some point during the day. She had looked better than Katie, and she's obviously saying that she hadn't tried that hard, though I doubt that's true. She did look bloody good last night though and if it is true I worry for the day when I see her dressed up and she has tried to make an effort, that will be difficult to take.
"I'm better looking than you, I get more boys than you and I look better in clothes than you." James said with a smile, affecting a ridiculous high pitched voice and a slight lisp.
"Oh Jesus James, just don't….I can't believe you remember her telling me that."
"Yeah, but she wasn't happy when I told her that I looked better in her clothes than she did."
"Wasn't happy? I seem to remember she hit you James, with her shoe. Her newest and most favourite shoe."
"Still have the scar Sis, still have the shoes as well," he said with a broad, cheeky grin.
"You nicked her Jimmy Choo's," Emily replied aghast, "fucks sake James she blamed me for that for years. I don't think she's ever forgiven me for those fucking heels going missing. Shit, sorry mum…I forgot, no swearing at the table."
Jenna had frowned at her as she swore, her face crinkling unattractively; and then like the dawning of the sun it lifted as she broke into a rare chuckle at her antics.
"God I've missed having you two around," she said leaning forward and grasping the hands of her children, only struggling slightly with Emily's cast. "You don't know how good it is to have family around this table again. I only wish Katie was here to make it complete."
"Perhaps we should have a get together before I go away?" Emily suggested quickly changing the subject, "James you could make it down for a weekend couldn't you?"
"Probably, but I have got exams coming up soon so I'll need to do some work. These one's sort of count this year."
"Well I wouldn't want to put everyone out," Jenna said, flushing slightly.
"Nah don't worry mum, get dad to fly me down and back. I can get something from Blackpool Airport. I quite like the idea of flitting around in a helicopter like my big sister here. Actually if you could get it to pick me up from campus that'd be great, keep all the ladies drooling over me."
"The ladies only want to steal your shoes James, have you not sussed that yet? It's the only reason you're popular."
"None of the girls I know would fit into my shoes Emily, they're far too delicate and petite. Not like that troll you used to room with at Uni, what was her name…Helga, Olga?"
"Amanda was lovely James, you leave her alone."
"What's she doing now then, is she still playing prop forward for Saracens?"
"James, stop it. You know very well Amanda got married last year, last I heard she's working for UNICEF somewhere in Asia. She hasn't updated her Facebook for a while, I really must send her a message, see how she is."
I caught Jenna looking across at me again as the siblings continued bickering and I turned to meet her eye. "Are these two always like this?" I asked, smirking slightly and talking across their conversation.
"Oh dear no, usually they're much worse," she replied, affection and amusement in her voice, "I don't know where they find the energy to be honest."
"Do you think I need to intervene before it comes to blows, I am supposed to be protecting Miss Fitch here."
"I think you'll be all right Naomi dear, James is far too much of a lightweight to bother Emily too much. I don't think you'll be needed tonight dear."
"Oi Mum! I am sitting right here you know?" James said at his mother's comments. "I do have a reputation to maintain…lightweight indeed"
"You don't have a reputation James, not a good one anyway…"
…and with that, they were off again.
o+o+o
Dessert was as good as the main course, a warm chocolate soufflé that oozed when you cut into it, served with a nice warm cream infused with vanilla. I wasn't even surprised when Emily asked for another serving. I was actually relieved that I could relax a little, her attention totally diverted by the sticky sweet treat in front of her.
"Shut up," she said as I she tucked into that second sticky pudding with obvious glee.
"I didn't say a word Miss Fitch," I told her firmly, "not one word."
"I could hear you thinking; so I like food. Besides, thanks to you, Miss Campbell, I'm in pain…I need my chocolate to ease my suffering."
I knew I'd get the blame for this somehow, however, like a good employee, I let it wash over me. I knew she was joking, I only hoped that James and Jenna would know it as well.
"Emily, you shouldn't tease poor Naomi like that, you know your wrist was a result of you not getting treatment properly the other day; you told me that the hospital said it was almost certainly badly damaged if not fractured already."
"Really?" I said, putting as much feeling into that word as I could. "That's very interesting Jenna, isn't it Miss Fitch?"
To her endless credit she at least had the good grace to blush slightly as she shovelled in the soufflé, trying not to look at me.
"Why's it interesting?" James asked from the other side of the table, sitting back with his glass of beer.
"Emily's been telling Naomi it's her fault she's broke her wrist because she accidentally hit her with a door this morning. The truth is she probably fractured it the other day, when they were attacked leaving here. Naomi told Emily that she should go to hospital, but typically she didn't want to. You know how stubborn she is."
I continued to stare at the now thoroughly embarrassed Emily; who continued to ignore me.
"I've seen some great footage of that chase you know," James said, digging his phone out of his pocket. "Really fucking scary looking that was…er, oops; sorry mum," he corrected himself bashfully. "You must have been terrified Naomi!"
"She wasn't scared at all James, Naomi was brilliant; totally saved my life."
"You know that's not true Miss Fitch," I said firmly, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow me whole. "I told you that I was scared the whole time."
"I'm not surprised," James said, "it looks bad from the outside, let alone from where you were sat…awesome though, you were incredible. Really, really cool to watch. Especially with the soundtrack."
"Soundtrack?" Emily and I both said simultaneously.
"Yeah, it's on YouTube loads of footage montaged together and a soundtrack over the top. You two are famous, look…"
He finished fiddling with his phone and turned it around to show us all what he'd opened. He was swiftly stopped in his tracks with an angry word from his mother.
"James, I do not want to see footage of that incident. Put it away now."
"But mum, you've got to see what they've done."
"I don't have to see anything James, I couldn't watch the original footage on the news and I don't want to see whatever some juvenile idiot on the internet thinks is appropriate music to accompany the near death of my youngest daughter. Now enough!"
I breathed a sigh of relief at Jenna's words, it had been bad enough seeing the footage the next morning, without having to give James Fitch a blow by blow account of what happened, as I knew he would want me to do. He seemed to be a little thrill seeker and wanted to live out his action fantasies through me…'fucking great.'
I sipped at my after dinner coffee and watched as James Fitch's eyes began to fill up; it seems that Emily is not the only Fitch to express her emotions through their eyes. Within moments he had muttered an 'excuse me' and pushed his way from the table and out of the room. Emily turned to look at her mother as she watched him leave, looking as upset as her son did before she slipped from her seat.
"I'll go make sure he's all right," she said disappearing from the room in James' wake leaving myself and Jenna sat in silence, sipping at our drinks.
"I'm sorry you had to see that Naomi," Jenna said finally breaking the silence. "I sometimes let my emotions get ahead of me and I'm afraid I upset my children when I do so. I do have a wonderful case of foot in mouth disease."
"It's perfectly all right Jenna, these things happen. To be honest I'm glad you stopped him. The last thing I want to see is some glorified image of something that wasn't very glorious at all."
"Emily tells me you were very brave that day Naomi, you should be proud of yourself."
"It's what I get paid for Jenna, nothing more than that."
"We both know that wasn't the case though, don't we dear?"
I shrugged in response, holding eye contact and sipping at my coffee.
"Emily also tells me she wasn't very nice to you when you first met; she tells me that you didn't like her at all, and yet you still saved her life."
"Well it isn't as if I could have allowed them to shoot her and leave me alive now was it Jenna? I did what I had to do, because I had to do it. I really don't understand why people have made such a fuss about it."
She looked at me appraisingly and leaned forward and poured me a cup of coffee from the large silver pot on the table.
"Naomi, whether you choose to acknowledge this or not, what you did is not normal behaviour. It isn't the sort of thing that people just do because they have to. Normal people panic Naomi, they panic and they get themselves killed. You on the other hand showed courage and fortitude, and they're qualities that both I, and Emily, like."
She sat back into her chair and looked at me, lifting her cup to her lips and taking a sip.
"With that in mind Naomi I'd like to ask you a question."
"Certainly Jenna," I said sitting back myself, "fire away."
"What's going on between you and Emily?"
I'm so shocked I nearly dropped my coffee; that's so unexpected, so out of the blue.
"I'm not sure what you mean Jenna, I'm Miss Fitch's CPO, that's all there is to it."
"Naomi, please don't treat me like a fool. I have eyes and I'm not stupid; now what is going on between you and my daughter?"
"There's nothing going on Jenna, nothing at all. Like you said, Miss Fitch and I didn't get along when we first met and now I think we're both making an effort to be friendly. If only to make working together easier."
"That's not what it looks like."
She sounded like she was being quite short with me, like she's annoyed. I could have sworn I'd seen a hint of a smile earlier when Emily had been inadvertently stroking my arm. I wish now she hadn't seen it and I could have avoided this inquisition. I dug deep into myself and went back to interrogation 101; name, rank and serial number, nothing more than that.
"I'm not sure what you think you've seen Mrs Fitch," I said formally in response to her accusation. "But I can assure you that I have no intention of behaving in any way, other than professionally around your daughter."
'How Emily's going to behave however I have no control over; but I'm going to try to keep her in check.'
As if reading my thoughts Jenna looked at me appraisingly, judgingly even.
"There's no need to be quite that defensive Naomi, I was only asking out of concern for my Emily, she seems quite fond of you already, that's all. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression; especially given your, rather special, situation."
My special situation, is she fucking kidding me? So now it all comes out, she saw the result of her daughters little publicity stunt, saw Amy appear out of the shadows of my past and now she's concerned I'm going to 'gay up' her fucking daughter; and there was me thinking she was actually a nice woman. There was me thinking that our files had it wrong, and she's not a bigoted old bitch. Time for the best form of defence, a good offence; I decided to take the attack to her.
"There's no need to be concerned Jenna. Despite what you may think about lesbians, I'm not some filthy pervert that's trying to turn your daughter for my own amusement. Anything you've seen has been initiated by her, not me. I think she's simply trying to wind me up because she knows I won't say anything in front of you all."
Her mouth fell open for a second, not jaw droppingly stunned, just slightly shocked; as if my words had slapped her about the cheeks. It was with a conscious effort that she pulled herself together and looked at me again.
"Turn Emily gay, are you serious Naomi? Really, that would be the least of my worries," she started cryptically. "No dear I'm afraid you have me all wrong, I meant about you having to look after her, being in close proximity to her day in day out; I didn't want anything to complicate that, put her, or you at risk."
"Oh," I managed to say slightly shamefacedly. "I misunderstood what you meant. I saw you notice Emily messing about over dinner and, well, I guess I just thought that, you know..."
"Good god do you really think that I'm that bigoted?" Jenna asked sounding affronted. "Honestly Naomi I care not a jot for your sexuality, trust me. I only want my daughter to be safe and happy."
"Well I'm not sure I can do anything about happy Mrs Fitch, but I'll do my best to keep her safe."
"Then that's all I can ask Naomi, well apart from stop calling me Mrs Fitch that is. Just be careful with my daughter Naomi, she's a fragile little thing really."
"I don't know what you mean Jenna," I told her.
"I think you do Naomi, just be careful with her ok? I love her a lot, and despite all appearances to the contrary sometimes, I know Robert does too."
"You could have fooled me Jenna, Miss Fitch seems convinced that her father hates her."
"She even told you that," she said sounding amazed again. You are privileged Naomi, I can't think of but a handful of people my daughter has confessed that little secret of hers to."
"I think she was pretty drunk at the time," I told her; "I'm not sure she meant to tell me most of what she did last night when I found her."
"Oh I think she did," Jenna said knowingly, fixing me with a look that could stop rampaging elephants in their tracks. "I think she meant to say every word to you last night in that Summerhouse of hers."
"Oh," I replied realising that the woman knew more than she was letting on
"Yes Naomi dear, Emily told me about pouring her heart out to you in there last night; I should be saying thank you for being there for her when no-one else was. As she probably explained, last night didn't go well for her. But please, I meant what I said; be careful with my Emily Naomi, that's all I ask. She seems to have chosen you to bare her soul to; I think what you've gone through together in the last few days has affected her quite deeply, but she doesn't give herself to people lightly. Don't hurt her."
"I think you're doing her a disservice, she's a strong woman Jenna. Stronger than some men I've known. She just needs to believe in herself a little bit more."
"That's as may be Naomi, but..."
Jenna stopped abruptly as Emily walked back into the dining room a serious look on her face.
"How is James?" Jenna asked, a genuine note of concern in her voice.
"He's fine, just a bit embarrassed that's all. He sends his apologies and says he thinks he'll turn in, but he'll see us for breakfast. I think he's quite upset that he might have offended you Naomi; it wouldn't surprise me if my little brother has a little crush on you."
I stared at her blankly as she grinned at me cheekily, "anyway, who's for a drink? Mum?"
"Yes dear, I'll have a brandy if you would be so kind; do you think I should go up and see him?" she asked, obviously still worried about James.
"No mum," Emily replied, leading us into a smaller room off the dining room and walking up to a large drinks counter; pouring a generous shot of an expensive looking brandy into a huge balloon glass and passing it to Jenna.
"Leave him to stew, he knows he was being a prick, trying to show off a bit; and I've just reminded him of that fact. He'll be fine, like I say he's more embarrassed now than upset. I think if you both just talk to each other in the morning, perhaps apologise, you'll be ok."
"Well if you say so dear," Jenna said, settling herself down into a plush looking leather armchair. I do so hate fighting with him when I see him so infrequently, but he's just impossible sometimes."
"He's a twat mum and we both know it, I was hoping university would help him grow up a bit but it seems to be making him worse."
"He's still young Emily, he'll come around."
"He won't you know, no matter what dad thinks it isn't going to happen; and he's going to fight it the only way he knows how, by being as he is. Drink Naomi?"
I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard my name; confused by the sudden change of direction that the conversation had taken. "Er, no thanks, I don't..."
"Soft drink, tea, coffee?" she asked gesturing at the bar. "I know you don't drink alcohol Naomi, I hadn't forgotten, it's all right."
I thought about it for a second, still thinking about her words and what I'd overheard James telling her earlier that day. "Coke," I replied feebly, "diet if you've got it."
"Sure," Emily said putting some ice cubes into a tall glass then filling it with a bottle from an under counter fridge that was hidden behind the cabinet doors. With a flourish she dropped a lemon slice into the top and passed it to me.
"Thanks, you're wasted selling arms Miss Fitch, you should be working in a bar."
It was possibly my lamest attempt to lighten the mood of a room and I kicked myself for implying that this smart , beautiful woman should spend her days serving people drinks when she was so obviously destined for far more.
"Oh hell no, I did that when I was at University...never again."
That surprised me. I'd have thought that, with all the money that the Fitch family obviously had, that Emily wouldn't have needed to work when she was at University. From James' comments about squirreling herself away, I had the image of a proper student nerd, locked in her rooms with her textbooks and homework and thoroughly happy with it all. How your image of someone can be shattered in an instant, though the image of barmaid Emily that's just gone floating through my head is a good one; if a totally unprofessional one
"Take a seat Naomi dear," Jenna said gesturing at one of the chairs, "Emily tells me you grew up in Cheltenham, is that right?"
"Yeah, mostly. We moved around Mum and me but I spent most of my childhood in Rowanfield not far from the town centre."
"Did you go to school there?"
'Well where else would I have gone to school?' I thought as I watched Jenna swirl her brandy.
"Yeah, I went to the local grammar school, did my GCSE's and 'A' levels there before leaving to join the Army."
"Emily went to school in Cheltenham, did she ever tell you that?"
"Mum, stop it," Emily said, sitting down on a small sofa between us. "Naomi doesn't want to know about my schooldays."
"No Jenna, she's never mentioned it," I interrupted smirking at Emily's face as she realises that her mother is probably going to embarrass her.
"Oh yes, Emily went to the ladies college there, she really was a gifted student. Classics, art, dance, she did them all you know?"
"She did mention enjoying painting and dance last night Jenna, I haven't discovered yet if she's any good or not, it was a bit dark to see her work in that Summerhouse."
Emily cringed as Jenna took another sip of her drink and beamed proudly, "Oh yes, she's very good actually; though I haven't seen her paint in years."
"Really?" I asked raising an eyebrow at Emily, who was busily concentrating on her drink. "Why is that Miss Fitch?"
"Don't really have time anymore," she replied a little sulkily.
"Don't have the inspiration more like," Jenna concluded looking at her daughter sadly. "You need to take some time off Emily Fitch, when was the last time you had a holiday?"
"Give it a rest mum, I know you think I work too hard, you've told me before. I've got responsibilities, you know that too."
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair as, what I assumed to be, an old argument resurfaced. Emily caught my eye as I drained the last of my coke.
"If you'll both excuse me, I think I'll go and make sure everything is under control out there, then turn in if that's ok with you. It's been a long day."
"You don't have to do that Naomi, I'm sorry." Emily started, I held my hands up and she stopped to look at me.
"It's fine Miss Fitch, I really do need to make sure the house is secure, and I really should get some rest. I'll say goodnight then, see you both in the morning; thank you for a wonderful meal Jenna."
"You're very welcome Naomi, sleep well."
o+o+o
I escaped the sitting room and decided to do a quick patrol of the grounds, working my way through the kitchens to the back gardens and then carefully looping around to the front before returning to the back of the house. As I stepped into the kitchen I was surprised to find a familiar face in front of me.
"Fucks sake Sarge, if I'd have known it was you then I wouldn't have come all the way down here again."
"I'm sorry?" I said to Andy as he stood with his hands on his hips looking at me.
"I'd locked up down here and checked outside, then I spotted something suspicious on the CCTV and came to check it out. If I'd have realised it was you I wouldn't have bothered."
I caught his wink and relaxed, knowing that he wasn't being serious. "Just as well you did then Andy, it could have been a ploy of mine to see if you lot were still doing your jobs."
"Well I'm trying," he said grinning at me. "I'm sure it would be made easier if my boss wouldn't keep trying to check up on me in the middle of the night."
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the clock, five to eleven is hardly the middle of the night, but it is late enough; I'd hoped to be in bed by now, where does the time go?
"Don't think of it as checking up on you Andy, I just can't settle unless I know that everywhere is secure and we're all safe. Old habits die hard you know?"
He nodded sagely before speaking. "Look Sarge, I've got everything covered here, why don't you go and turn in you look like you need a good night's sleep"
"You know it! It's been a long day."
"Well if you don't mind me saying it Sarge, fuck off to bed then and let me do my job."
I thought about it for a second and then nodded, it wouldn't do to undermine the confidence of my team on, what is effectively their first day. Smiling I clapped Andy on the shoulder and winked.
"Well if you insist mate, I'll do just that. Any problems come get me ok?"
"Sure thing Sarge, goodnight."
I navigated my way back to my room, only getting lost the once, confusing myself by taking the old servants stairs at the back of the house up to the upper floor. Finally though I found myself at the big wooden door and pushed through into the relative sanctuary of Katie's old room.
I sat on the bed, pulling off my shoes when there was a knock on the door to Emily's room and her face appeared in the open gap.
"Hey, I thought I heard you. Look I'm sorry about earlier; I, we, didn't mean to embarrass you."
"You didn't," I said flatly, "I just needed to do a sweep and go to bed. I'm tired and I can't settle unless I know everything's secure."
"Oh," she replied looking at her feet, "is that because of, you know..."
"No," I said firmly, probably overstating the lie. "Not everything I do is affected by what happened out there you know."
"Right," she said, still looking down at the plush carpet. "Well I'll probably just let you get some sleep then. Goodnight Naomi."
"Goodnight Emily."
I was half way through pulling my new top over my head when I heard her voice again.
"I meant what I said by the way. If you ever want to talk I'm willing to listen. You were there for me this week, more than once in fact. It's the very least I can do."
"Yeah, thanks," I replied half heartedly, "I'll remember that."
"Do," she said, "So you know, my door's still locked and I've closed my window so I'm all tucked up safe as houses in here. If anyone wants to get me then I guess they'll have to come through you." She smiled and then pirouetted neatly on her toes and vanished, pulling the doors shut behind her.
'Cheeky cow.' I thought chuckling to myself as I got ready for bed, heading into the bathroom to brush my teeth and take off the makeup that Emily had insisted was necessary for the family dinner. It didn't take me long, my attempts at prettying myself up being a lot more subtle than James Fitch's efforts this evening. I even toyed with the idea of staying up a bit longer and enjoying another relaxing soak in that wonderful tub; but frankly my bed was calling and I doubted I'd be able to keep my eyes open long enough to draw a bath, let alone soak in it.
With my luck at the moment I'd probably fall asleep and drown in it.
As I towelled my face dry, I heard a slight chime from my phone and hastily dragged it out of my trouser pocket and looked at it. It was an e-mail from Cook providing me with details about this bloody competition I'd been entered into and I headed back to my bed, absently flicking through the screen and scanning the rules. It wasn't my first mistake of the day, but it did turn out to be my most painful, as I slammed into the corner of the bed frame with my thigh; my injured fucking thigh, right on the gunshot wound that still ached in the cold. It was like a white fire in my skull and I couldn't help dropping my phone and turning the air blue with expletives as the pain shocked through my system; holding onto the bedpost until the room came back to normal.
"Are you ok Nomi?" Emily called out appearing at the joining doors wearing nothing but a large t-shirt.
"I'm fine," I told her, rubbing at the bruise that I knew was already forming on my leg; "and will you please stop calling me that Emily."
"What?" she asked innocently. Not the brightest of moves frankly, I was tired, and now in quite a lot of pain as well; I'm really not in the mood for any of her fucking games.
"You know what!" I replied, probably a little too harshly; "you can stop with the little nickname."
"You call me Ems, I'll call you Nomi," she said without a hint of embarrassment or upset at my words. I simply frowned at her, having no idea what she was on about. I mean yes, I'd seen her use Ems to sign off the note on the dress she's left out for me, and I'd heard people call her it in passing but I've never called her Ems in my life. That really wouldn't be professional.
"You did," she told me as if reading my mind again, frowning back as me as I raised an eyebrow. "You called me Ems when you picked me up from the floor this morning. I don't mind you know, lots of people call me Ems, it's nice. Anyway, if you're not in need of hospital treatment I'll get off to bed, goodnight Nomi, pleasant dreams."
I waited until she'd nearly closed the bedroom door before replying, not missing that little emphasis she'd placed on her new nickname for me.
"Goodnight Miss Fitch. You too."
She paused in the doorway for a second before closing the doors behind her; it was a victory of sorts I guess, but it still left me with a nasty taste in my mouth. Feeling a little bit guilty I picked up my phone and plugged it into my charger, setting its alarm for 6:30AM hoping to get to the pool for some early morning peace. Finally sorted I quickly pulled off the rest of my clothes and lay back onto the cool sheets and relaxed. I wasn't asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but it wasn't far off.
o+o+o
I didn't get the pleasant dreams Emily wished for me, not by a fucking long shot. My dreams were anything but pleasant. Probably caused by the memories that James Fitch had evoked with his stupid fucking questions, my dreams were filled with blood and dust. I was caught in a horrible state, halfway between dream and reality.
I could feel myself threshing around on the bed, but I couldn't wake myself up; instead I seemed to dive further into the vats of blood that surrounded me, filled from the wounds of those that had died around me. As my guilt waged war on me once again, forcing me to replay over and over again the deaths of my friends, I found myself bathed in fire and left in that rocky hollow to face them once more. Grouch and Whitey, Laffiete and Jenkins, Adams, and Jones. Chambers, Harris, Collins and all the rest that I'd lost on my watch. Even as they formed their grim cortège I knew it wasn't over, that there was one more face that I knew was to come. Finally, pushing his way out of the crowd with an accusing finger came Captain Freddie McClair.
"Why Campbell Why?" he asked, his finger pointing directly at my heart. "Why did you let us die?"
"Why Campbell Why?" the rest echoed.
"You know it should have been you that died that day Naomi Campbell," Whitey said, stepping alongside Freds; his wound pouring blood endlessly onto the sand. "Why did you let me die in your place? Why does my child have to grow up not knowing his father?"
"Why Campbell Why?" the dead sang again, tearing my heart in two with their cries.
I was shouting at them, screaming my apologies, protesting my innocence. I hadn't got them killed, not really; but they pressed on regardless, each of them stepping forward, accusing me, denying me my excuses with their stony glares. Over and over again they asked me the same questions, inching closer and closer until they were practically on top of me and as Freds and Whitey raised their arms to grab me I screamed and screamed and screamed...
I screamed myself awake, the faces disappearing into a red haze as reality began to take over and I found myself in a room of horrors, surrounded by more faces, plastic faces, the dolls staring at me as accusingly as my friends and as red as blood. Quickly my brain tried to shut it all out, and I retreated into myself trying to find a safe place to hide.
"It's ok Nomi, I'm here, it's all ok."
I could feel my heart racing in my chest, beating its staccato rhythm against my ribcage and I felt myself fighting for breath.
"Relax Nomi, everything's ok, there's nothing here that can hurt you."
As the real world began to assert itself into my brain I dimly recognised Emily's voice trying to soothe me and I could feel a pair of arms around me, holding me tight.
"Is everything ok Emily?" another voice entered my fucked up brain, cowering in cover like a frightened mouse.
"Everything's fine mum. Naomi's just having a nightmare, she'll be ok soon."
"She's done this before then?"
"Yeah, the night of the attack. She spent most of the night screaming then."
I'm only vaguely comprehending the conversation, I know they're talking about me, but for some reason I don't know who Emily is talking to and why.
'Do you think this was caused by what happened at dinner?"
"Probably."
"Well call me if you need anything Emily."
"I will; thanks mum."
The voices faded away and I was left in silence, my mind finally getting out of its foxhole and venturing forward onto the battlefield.
"Emily?" I croaked, wondering where exactly my real voice had gone. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making sure you're ok Nomi, you were screaming down the house, don't you remember?"
I shook my head, my breathing calming as she rocked me like a baby, her warm body pressed into my chest. As I surfaced from the nightmare, the worst nightmare I'd ever had, I realised that she was hugging me tight to her and I was seeing the world through the filter of her hair as my head rested on her shoulder.
"Just relax Nomi, it was just a nightmare; everything's fine now. I'm here, I won't let anything harm you."
I could feel myself relax at her words, even though I knew it was wrong. It's my job to make sure nothing hurts her, not the other way around. I started to protest, but her hand stroking my hair pulled me up short.
"Shhh, Naomi, it's ok. It's all ok...go back to sleep, it'll be all right."
I felt her lower me down to the bed and tuck the duvet over me as I curled myself up into a little ball.
"That's the way," I heard her say as the dark veil closed over my brain. "Go back to sleep, everything's going to be OK."
o+o+o
My internal clock roused me as normal as the sun was barely breaking over the horizon, the alarm I'd set not even needed. My head was still fuzzy, probably caused by yet another late finish and not helped by waking up again in the middle of the night with what I dimly remember to have been another nightmare.
I feel like warmed up shit; in fact if I'm honest JJ's absolutely right, I need a day off at some point so I can recharge the batteries. I guess I'm not used to working these kind of hours anymore; those wasted months sofa surfing and sleeping on the streets might just have knocked me out of my stride.
As I dragged my brain back into gear, deciding that I'd do what I always do and tough it out until we had an alternative plan; I realised that there was something very wrong with the picture. I've got a dull ache in my left hip and my left leg has practically gone dead. At first I thought it was from where I'd walked into the bed, but then I remembered that that was my right leg, not my left.
With an element of confusion thumping through my fuzzy brain, I carefully reached down my body; running my fingertips along my side, feeling gingerly for the bruise or abrasion that's causing the discomfort. As my fingers reached my hip joint I came across something decidedly unexpected.
I found a lump.
Not a normal lump, the kind of lump you'd expect when you've walked into the bed frame, or something has fallen on you or hit you; but a big lump, a hard lump, a fucking plaster cast feeling lump.
Slowly, carefully, I rolled over in bed for a better look, only to see my fears were not unfounded. Lying next to me, with a daffy grin on her sleeping face, was Emily Victoria Fitch.
'Oh shit.'
.
.
.
A/N - Oh Naomi...what have you done now (-:
See you next week folks, I'm off to read some great stories and try and get past the block I have with PfP.