"How is she?" Angel asked with a weak voice.

Holly sighed heavily. "Oh honey, I'm sure you know she's not doing too well. How are you?"

"Works been...hectic...so I've been distracted."

"Small miracles," she chirped. Holly heard Angel inhale, as if to speak again, so she cut him off before he got the chance. "You want details, don't you?"

"I do," he sighed.

"I'm sure you'll be relieved to hear she's not crying much anymore," Holly explained, "She's angry now. I can't look at her without getting my head chomped off."

Angel chuckled sadly. "She's brutal," he said wistfully. "Who's she mad at?"

"Herself, the world, me, you," Holly guessed. "I don't know."

"Yeah, I know that feeling," he grumbled. Looking down at his hand he shook his head. "I fucked up my damn hand cause of that shit."

"Angel," Holly chided. "I'm worried about you enough, don't make it worse."

Angel smiled sadly and felt his eyes burn with tears. "Thanks Holly but you don't have to worry about me."

"I do," she said with a crack in her voice. "She loves you, I've never seen her love someone the way she loves you, and that means I love you. You're a good man, you made her happy, you love her, you care," she sniffled. "How could I not love you?"

Swiftly, Angel slipped out of the clubhouse before anyone could see him begin to cry. Holly was sweet, he liked her a lot, even loved her, but right then her words did nothing but make him miss his own mother.

"Shit, Hol," Angel forced a laugh.

"I know," she whimpered, "I'm sorry. I know this has been hard on you sweetheart but she's been talking about going back and if she does I need you or your brother to look out for her. Please."

"She's coming back?" Angel asked incredulously. "It hasn't even been two weeks," he added.

"I know, I think I'm too much or not what she needs right now," Holly's confusion and shame was clear in her voice. "I don't know how to help my little girl."

Hearing her break down crushed Angel and destroyed all the work he'd done to compose himself as he walked through the mountains of scrap.

"I'm sorry, Holly," he told her, unsure of what else he could say to her. There were some muffled words and the sounds of Holly moving the phone around for a moment.

"Bob wants to talk to you. I'll be in touch, honey."

"Alright," Angel was grateful to have the emotional tension broken. He waited quietly until Bob spoke.

"Angel, how are you son?"

"I'm alright," he said. "I heard Z is a mess."

Bob groaned, "She is." He paused then cleared his throat before speaking. "She's been talking to that new guy Nestor a lot. I don't like him."

"You're not the only one," Angel huffed.

"I'm not an idiot. I know you're not some blue collar scrap yard worker," Bob said confidently. "I saw they found Josh Campbell dead, it's all over the news. Somehow, I don't believe some group of Mexican terrorists killed him."

"They're not terrorists," Angel corrected Bob.

"And they didn't kill Josh?"

"Why? Do you think I killed him?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Angel scoffed. "Where's this going?"

"I know who you are, Angel, I know who the Mayans are, and I know who this Nestor asshole is. There is a very fundamental difference between you two though, one I could see immediately."

"Nestor's a fucking psycho?" Angel sneered.

"Essentially. Yes." Bob said as a matter of fact. "Men like him don't have lines they won't cross, they don't flinch," he went on.

"He's definitely one of them," Angel said with disgust.

"Holly likes to live with blinders. She knows there are bad people out there but she doesn't like to acknowledge any of it. As soon as I heard the name Galindo I knew. I like you, son, I do and I know you love Zara but so help me god if any of your shit hurts my child I will hurt you."

Angel wasn't surprised Bob put the pieces together, he figured he would. Really, he was just slightly surprised at the time Bob picked to drop it on him.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Osbourne," Angel said even though they both knew Bob was right, "But I would do anything to keep Zara safe."

"Good." Bob said curtly. "She's flying back in the next few days. Can't handle Holly's, well she dealt she just can't handle Holly. I know she's angry with you but make sure she's safe. She's not herself, she's picking the wrong path toward healing, and I'm worried about her."

"Of course," Angel said staunchly. "I'll keep an eye...from a distance."

A Few Days Later*

"Hey," Nestor said, knocking on the frame of Miguel's office door. "Mind if I take off for an hour? I have a personal thing I gotta do."

Miguel looked up from his desk with confusion wrinkling his forehead. "Personal? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said, slightly hesitant and more reserved than usual. "Just gotta run up to the airport."

"You're still seeing Zara?" He said with a smirk.

Nestor nodded. "I am. She's flying back. I wanted to pick her up, take her to lunch or something."

Miguel chuckled. "Now that Josh is dead you can put that to bed, I thought we discussed that."

"We did," Nestor nodded. "I want to keep seeing her, Mikey, I actually like her."

"And now that she's not pregnant with the Mayan's baby?"

Nestor shrugged. "It's one less issue," he said with an air of sadness, "I feel bad for her though."

"Of course,' Miguel said quickly. "Why don't we all get lunch? Emily will be thrilled, I'm sure."

"I don't think she's really up for a group thing," Nestor said. "They'll rope us into something soon."

"I have no doubt," Miguel chuckled. "Well, I'm happy for you, Nestor. Take the afternoon."

With a sweet smile, Nestor nodded and slipped out of the office to make his way to the airport. He wasn't as early as he would have liked but he was there before Zara made her way to their designated meeting spot.

"Hi," she wore a subdued smile. "Thanks for getting me."

"You're welcome." Nestor grabbed her bag and kissed her on the cheek. "Hungry?"

"I could eat," she smirked. "Don't you have work?"

"I got the afternoon off," he said proudly.

"For such a momentous occasion I expected nothing less," she joked.

"You look good," he remarked, taking her hand and leading her back to his car, "You got some color."

"I spent a lot of time avoiding my mother," she admitted. "I could barely breathe."

He nodded, tossing her bag in the back, then helped her into the passenger side. "She's a little intense."

"A little?" Zara laughed.

Nestor shut the door and the ten seconds of silence made Zara begin to panic. She hadn't been without something, some noise or distraction, since losing the baby. She couldn't bear silence anymore. As soon as he got in and started the engine she hit the stereo power button.

"You tell Emily you're back?"

"Of course," Zara laughed. "She mentioned dinner tomorrow."

"Miguel tried to double up our lunch," Nestor told her.

"Weird," Zara remarked.

"We all like to keep the circle pretty close," he said casually. "You know what you're doing? Is this a visit or for good?"

"I don't know," she said, gazing out the window as they drove. "I did take my house off the market. I'll need somewhere to stay while I decide."

"No more squatting with the Galindos? I kind of liked seeing you there everyday."

Zara smiled and looked away to hide her blushing cheeks. "Shut up."

"I mean it," he chuckled. "How about a dayload?" He suggested, noticing a tequila bar that he'd heard was quite good.

"Liquor?" She nodded. "Yeah. I could use a good tequila blackout."

Nestor waited until they parked then turned his body towards hers and looked at her with a serious expression.

"You okay? Are you really okay?"

Taken aback by his genuine concern she nodded, leaning away from him a bit. "I'm as okay as can be expected." Zara reached over and took his sunglasses off, placing them on her own face. "It's hard to take you seriously when you're wearing these ugly things."

"They look better on you," he said sweetly.

"Aren't you a charmer," she giggled.

Nestor leaned in and kissed her, a real kiss this time, holding her face tenderly.

"I missed you," he said eagerly, their noses still touching.

"I missed you too," she said with a smile. "Jesus, what are you wearing? It smells like shit."

"What?" He pulled away from her with a confused expression. "My cologne? It's new."

"What is it, Drakkar Noir?" She teased.

"You're paying for your own lunch," he said, in a playfully angry tone.

"You can use the extra money to buy yourself something new, then." She winked. "You're lucky I'm not with you for your taste in cologne."

"And I'm not with you for your glamorous job," he teased. "Let's go," he said, opening his car door and hurrying out to open hers.

"Oh, babe," she said hesitantly. "Your holsters."

"I always wear them," he said.

"Yeah, when you're in the desert or secret meetings, not in crowded bars."

He could tell she wasn't comfortable with it, so he stuck one gun in his pants, refusing to be unarmed, and locked the other in the box under his seat.

"Anything else, princesa?" He asked sarcastically.

She stuck her tongue out at him as they strolled into the bar but didn't continue with the teasing. They were seated, as far back as possible and as always Nestor sat facing the door. They ordered and finally they were alone once again.

"Have things settled?" She asked casually.

Nestor looked at her for a moment before answering. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on," she sighed.

"Things have taken a calmer path," Nestor told her vaguely.

Zara nodded, realizing Nestor would not share with her the way Angel did. She was relieved, actually. The less she knew the less stress she had to deal with and that was a gift she didn't know she wanted.

"That's good," she smiled.

"Did you resign?"

"I didn't," she shrugged. "If I resign I lose my seniority and there's no guarantee they can or will bring me back if I decide not to leave."

He smiled as she talked about work, enjoying the simplicity of it all. "Smart girl."

"That's me," she beamed. "Maybe I need a change though."

"What else would you do?"

Zara shrugged. "I don't know. I could go into a different grade or subject maybe. I know this one teacher I went to school with, she hated teaching quit three weeks into her first year. She ended up working as an editor for a local paper then moved up and took a pretty lofty job in the Midwest."

"An editor?" Nestor laughed. "Jesus. No. I don't know how anybody could do that shit all day."

"I say that about you," she joked.

"Guess we compliment each other that way," he cooed.

"And in others," she added.

Just then the server brought out more drinks and the small appetizer they ordered to keep from getting too drunk too fast.

Nestor raised his glass, "Alright, lets get shitfaced."

Hours later, as she stumbled out of an Uber, Zara remembered why she hated day drinking. The sun and heat made her feel horribly hungover before even sobering up completely.

"Drinking in the heat," she complained to herself, "Fucking stupid."

Dragging her feet slowly up her porch steps, Zara fumbled with her keys a moment before eventually getting into the house.

It smelled stale and the piles of boxes had a light layer of dust on them already. Even in her constantly melancholy state it was extremely depressing. She opened a few windows before sitting on the couch and texting Nestor.

"I'm home safe. Uber is not evil. Sorry I split early. I just need to sleep and I'll be good. Have a good day."

Zara then decided to take a selfie, telling herself the lighting was good just then, but deep down she wanted to put something out into the works hoping Angel would see. She snapped a few then went through all the filters before deciding and posting it. The caption read, "Tequila bars are bad lunch dates."

Sometime soon after that Zara fell asleep for a long and much needed nap. She didn't open her eyes again until she was rudely woken up by a engine rumbling and followed by a knock on her door.

"Shit," she said sleepily. Wiping the drool from her cheek she sat up, still slightly confused as to what woke her, until she heard a second knock. "Uh, I'm coming," she said, stifling a tiny yawn.

"Z?" Angel called out. "You okay?"

"Angel?" She stopped halfway to the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Open the door," he told her.

Zara huffed and continued walking to open the door. When she did she felt her stomach drop and her heart quicken but there were no butterflies or joy, she was filled with pain.

"Hi."

"Hey," he said with a deep frown. "Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah," she chuckled a little. "Um, what are you doing here?"

"Heard you were back," he shrugged, "Wanted to check on you."

"I'm a grown woman, Angel," she said.

"I know, I just, I wanted to see how you're feeling."

Zara sucked in her bottom lip and stepped aside. "Come in."

Angel was shocked she invited him in so he didn't hesitate. He shut the door behind him and gestured to his usual spot in the living room. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah," Zara sat across from him and curled her feet up under her. "I'm feeling okay."

"Guess that's good," he shrugged.

"How are you?"

"Miserable," he said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "I miss you, Z. I feel guilty as fuck for all this shit, everything. I wanted you, I want you. I know we didn't plan ahead a lot but I want everything with you. We can still have it. We can have a baby, we can get married, if that's what you want."

Zara inhaled sharply. "I wanted that more than anything. I wanted you and our baby but I don't think I can. This year, I've almost died so many times I lost count."

"That shit is over," he said pleadingly "Campbell is very fucking dead and Adelita is," he hesitated, "She's about to be a fucking non-issue."

"I know," she swallowed hard, "I know that. It's not the danger, Angel. I brought Josh on myself," she said sadly.

"No you didn't," he said earnestly.

"Just stop," she huffed. "Anhalt was...a fluke, and shit with her only happened because of her obsession with Miguel, not you."

Angel's face twisted with confusion. "Then what is it? Let me fix it, Z."

"You can't," she whimpered. "You, my parents, this house, EZ, it all hurts. There was so much of us, of our future, staked in it all. I look at you and I just...I feel sad."

Angel held in a sob and got up, heading quickly for the door. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Angel," she whined. "I didn't say that to be mean."

"I know," he sighed.

"I love you. I love you more than anything. I just...I can't be with you, not now."

"This has nothing to do with that asshole?" He said growing angry.

Zara hung her head. "He is not why I can't be with you right now."

"You love him?"

"No," she said without hesitation or uncertainty. "I like him, a lot. We have fun, there isn't so much drama weighing us down or," when she paused Angel spoke again.

"Or club shit? He doesn't tell you anything, does he?"

Zara shook her head.

"Cause the shit he does would send you runnin'," he said angrily. "Nestor and Galindo, they're fucking monsters. It's a cartel."

"A cartel you also work for. So, what does that make you?"

"I'm not like them, you know that," he said. "I hope you know that."

"You've killed men," she reminded him. "Two for personal reasons alone."

Angel nodded. "I know what I am, you're not telling me anything I don't know, but I know who he is too. He doesn't just kill bad men or assholes who hurt the woman he loves," Angel said furiously. "He hurts innocent people, he burns kids alive, Zara."

She gasped. "No. That's fucking ridiculous, Angel. That's like, Scarface bullshit. I know he's a vicious man but I can't believe he'd do that."

"You got blinders on," Angel said, unconsciously using Bob's own words. "Bet you couldn't believe some of the shit I did either."

"I don't want to talk about Nestor," she whinnied. "He's not the cause he's just a symptom."

"A symptom of what?"

"Of me not wanting to feel anything anymore," she cried. "Every fucking day was another intense emotional roller coaster. Our first flush was unlike any other, our good days made me feel like an obsessed teenager, the bad days were blood and guns and panic. It's exhausting."

"I'm sorry my life did this to you," he whimpered.

"Don't be a fucking martyr," she huffed, getting to her feet. "It was never too much until I lost the baby, even after the texts from Campbell, we still could have worked out but every nerve is on end now and every time I see your face," she shook her head. "I love you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't deal with this. I can't work through it. I can't face it. I'm sorry I can't do that for you, Angel."

"You gotta do that for you," he said, crying a little despite his efforts to keep composure.

"I can't do it for myself either," she said, moving toward him. "I just want to pretend none of it happened."

"Even I've been talking to someone," he admitted.

"Who?" She asked in disbelief.

"My old man," he laughed a little. "Took all this shit to be able to really talk to him."

"I'm happy for you," she said as she reached up to give him a hug. "Not the best way to connect with your dad but at least you did."

"I love you," he said. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Angel lifted her a few inches off the ground as he hugged her.

"I love you too."

"Do you really?" He asked, setting her down again. "Please just tell me if you really do."

Zara stepped back and looked at him. "More than you know," her voice cracked.

Nodding, Angel stepped toward Zara and kissed her, his hands gently on her neck as the intensity grew.

"Your breath tastes like tequila and ass," he says seconds after they parted.

"Jesus," she groaned, stepping away mortified.

"Still one of our top five kisses," he told her to ease her embarrassment.

"You should go," she said sadly.

Angel nodded. "You mind if I still check in on you?"

"Let's wait on that," she said with a grimace.

"Whenever you're ready," he said, a sad smile on his lips. "Good night, Z."

"Good night, Angel."

You guys are the best! Please comment, thanks in advance, if you're a Bishop fan check out my new story The Long Game!