In celebration of my exams coming to an end in about a week's time, let's have a double update for this story!
Cornadopia - Benvolio would absolutely love you to smack Beatrix around the head for liking Twilight, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber. So would Mercutio and the whole of Verona. But I bet Romeo secretly loves them as well, he he. I have an idea for Beatrix to appear, but I'm not sure whether or not I'll use it. And I have an idea of what Mercutio could say to her to get her to stop liking Twilight, involving Tybalt, Robert Pattinson and a lookalikes contest...
And as for that poor tree, Lady Montague tells Tybalt off!
Normally, Tybalt hated school. He attended Verona Grammar, although he often wondered how the hell he even managed to get a place or pass his GCSEs and then be accepted for another two years to do A Levels. Maybe his uncle had bribed the school exam boards to pass him, but either way, he didn't care. It made his mum happy that her little Tybalt was 'so clever'
Before taking A Levels, Tybalt had often played truant, drank alcohol and smoked on the premises, bullied the younger students, vandalized the teacher's cars and once he even pulled the fire alarm as a prank to get out of a maths test he hadn't revised for. Being with Rosaline had calmed his behaviour down at school a little, but he still hated it and swore at the teachers if they told him off for laziness.
Today, however, he hurried out of bed and dressed with a fervour to get out of the Montague's house. He was eating breakfast before Juliet, and even Lady Montague seemed shocked to see him, washed, dressed, and with his school books packed and laid out neatly in front of him.
"I take it you enjoy school"
"No" Tybalt shoved a mouthful of Cheerios in his gob "I just happen to like school more than your house"
"Whatever. I've made you both lunch and-"
"You've done what?" asked Tybalt.
"Made you lunch"
Tybalt stared at her. He was eighteen and in the last year of school. He did not need someone to make him a packed lunch!
"Why?" he asked.
"Because you need to eat" replied Lady Montague.
"Erm, thanks, but I usually nip done the chippy with my crew at lunch"
"You can't go to school without a proper meal!"
"What's wrong with chips? My mum lets me eat chips all the time. They're tasty"
"Your mum is going to end up with a very unhealthy son"
Tybalt shrugged "I don't care, so she doesn't care either"
Lady Montague shook her head disappointedly "Well, besides that, next time you're angry with my husband, please don't kick down my trees. I happen to quite like them as decoration"
"How did you know it was me?" challenged Tybalt.
"You see that man over there with the camera?"
"Yeah"
"He filmed you, you idiot. So next time you're angry, don't do it again"
"How about you ask your husband not to make me angry" swarmed Tybalt.
"He was trying to be reasonable with you"
"Yeah, right? You lot are the most unreasonable bunch of twats I've ever met! You're patronizing, and get your kicks out of humiliating me and treating me like a five year old. And anyway, I'm eighteen, I can just walk out of this place anytime I like, so there"
"Go on then" said Lady Montague "Do us all a favour"
"Well, I can't" replied Tybalt.
"Why not?" asked Lady Montague.
"Because I have to tell Escalus first. Next time I see him, I will"
"Ok. Whatever makes you happy" Lady Montague shook her head again "My Romeo would never act like you do"
"It's none of your business, so-"
"Morning!" announced Juliet "Looking forward to school, Tybalt?"
Tybalt smiled "Yeah, I'll see my girlfriend Rosaline. I have missed her"