CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The girl with the blonde hair is led out of the room and as soon as she is gone I feel calm again. I follow a few of the soldiers outside to a car and soon we are driving through the streets of the city. It isn't long before we stop near a building that looks like it's built almost entirely of glass. Something looks very familiar about it and nags at the back of my mind. I feel like I should know more about this place than I do but I can't make myself remember. We enter the building and make our way to a room filled with computers and monitors. Again I have the sensation that I know this room – that I'm on the verge of remembering something and as soon as I can recall to mind whatever it is I'm trying to think of then it will explain everything. It's perplexing that I can't remember so many things and yet I know exactly what I need to do. On the wall opposite the door are dozens of computer screens, each a foot tall and a foot wide. Each screen, except one, shows a different part of the city. On one screen in the middle runs a continuous line of code. I sit down in the chair behind one of the the desks.
I watch the program for hours, a series of numbers and letters flashing by on the screen faster than you can read them. I watch the different parts of the city being monitored. I know I need to stay here and make sure the program continues to run. It doesn't occur to me to leave the room. But in the back of my mind I'm still trying to remember...
"Tobias," I hear a female voice from the doorway.
I turn my head and see a small, thin young woman with blonde hair standing in the open door. Something about her is almost familiar – especially here in this place...but I don't know who she is. I frown and decide she must be an enemy – an enemy sent here to stop me from running the program the way I know I'm supposed to. I raise my gun and point it at her.
"Drop your weapon," I say.
"Tobias," she says, "you're in a simulation."
She is lying to me. She is trying to make me stop the program. I must keep the program running – I can't let anyone stop it.
"Drop your weapon," I say again, "or I'll fire."
She bends down and then stands again.
"Drop your weapon!" I shout.
"I did," she says.
Suddenly she sprints towards me and grabs my wrist. I pull the trigger but she has managed to throw my aim off and the bullet just misses her head and hits the wall instead. She kicks me in the ribs and bends my wrist back hard, making me drop the gun. She dives for the gun but before she can reach it, I grab her and pull her back. Our eyes make contact and cause me to pause for just a second. I thought I almost recognized her but...no, she is my enemy who is trying to make me end the program. I hit her in the jaw and her head snaps back. She throws her hands up trying to protect her face and with her foot kicks the gun farther behind her out of my reach. She kicks me in the stomach but I grab her foot and pull her down and she lands on her shoulder. She lets out a cry of pain but as soon as I start to bring my foot back to kick her she rolls over onto her knees and scrambles for the gun. I grab her hair and yank her to the side. She reaches back and grabs my wrist so I throw my arm to the side causing her to hit her head on the wall.
"Tobias," she says pleadingly.
I don't know her but she knows my name. Why can't I remember her?
She kicks again, this time hitting my leg. I lose my grip on her hair and she pounces on the gun. Quickly she flips her body over and points the gun at me.
"Tobias," she says again and she slowly stands, "I know you're in there somewhere."
I can't let her stop the program.
"Tobias, please," she cries. There are tears streaming down her face now. "Please. See me."
All I can think is that she is here to stop the program – and I can't let her do that. I move towards her.
"Please see me, Tobias, please!"
She still has the gun aimed to shoot me but just as I reach her to knock it away she turns the gun in her hands so it is pointed at herself and presses it into my hand. I take hold of the gun and push the barrel to her forehead. I feel her reach out and press her hand to my chest, right over my heart. I stare into her eyes. I can feel my heart pounding. A bullet clicks into the chamber and my finger is on the trigger. I can shoot her. I'm supposed to kill her but...I don't want to. There is something familiar about her. I concentrate hard, trying to remember.
"Tobias," she says again, "It's me."
And suddenly she steps forward and wraps her arms around me. Her head leans against my chest. This is familiar. Her voice. Her embrace. And suddenly I remember...it all comes flooding back to me at once.
I drop the gun and grab her shoulders, momentarily forgetting one is wounded. She cries out in pain as I push her back so I can look at her. I see fear in her eyes, but I don't want to hurt her anymore.
"Tris," I say before I kiss her.
I place my arms around her to hug her and lift her off the ground, holding her against me so tight she probably can't breathe. I set her down again and gaze into her eyes. Lightly I brush my fingertips over her forehead, eyebrows, cheeks and lips. She had a gun but she didn't shoot me. I didn't know what I was doing and I was fighting her – I could have killed her. But even though she had the chance to kill me she didn't do it. Why? She gave me the gun and I almost shot her! I groan and tears spring into my eyes at the thought. I almost killed the girl I love! If she hadn't made me hear her and made me wake up...I kiss her again. She wraps her arms around me, leaning into my chest and I hear her muffled crying.
"How did you do it?" she eventually asks.
"I don't know," I reply. "I just heard your voice."
She pulls away from me and wipes her face with her hands. Then we both turn to look at the wall of monitors. The code still running on the center screen.
"Was I running the simulation?" I ask. I'm horrified to think I might have been a part of the attack – even if I didn't know what I was doing.
"I don't know if you were running it so much as monitoring it," she replies. "It's already complete. I have no idea how, but Jeanine made it so it would work on its own."
"It's...incredible," I say shaking my head. "Terrible, evil...but incredible."
Something on one of the monitoring screens suddenly catches her attention and she says "Tobias, now!"
I run over to the computer keyboard and pull up the program on the computer. I need to stop the simulation but it occurs to me that there might be some sort of default built into the program that would make the Dauntless do something atrocious if the program is altered or unexpectedly halted. I don't know what this simulation is programed to do and I don't have time to try and figure it out. I need to think of a way to stop it quickly and in a way that ensures no one else gets hurt.
I decide the safest way might just be to make the program stop itself and the easiest way to do that is to create an endless loop. Programs like this are usually written so if the same commands are repeated over and over again after a set number of times the program will stop and wait for user input. I tap on the screen and scroll through the code looking for the end of a command so I can type in my own bit of code to make it repeat itself. I find what I am looking for and quickly type the command.
"Tobias," Tris says again, sounding desperate this time.
I press the enter key and hold my breath. It will only take a second to find out if my plan worked. I look up at the first screen I see which shows Dauntless soldiers aiming their guns at Abnegation members and I am relieved to see their arms drop to their sides. The Dauntless turn their heads from side to side and drop their guns. Some sink to their knees and hold their heads, rocking back and forth.
It's over. The simulation is no longer controlling them. I reach down and remove one side of the computer case.
"I have to get the data," I explain to Tris, "or they'll just start the simulation again."
I quickly remove the hard drive.
"Got it," I say. I hand it to Tris and she puts it in her back pocket.
"We have to leave," she says.
"Yes, we do," I agree. I put my arm around her shoulders and lead her out of the room. "Come on."
We walk down the hallway and around the corner. We reach the elevator and there are bodies lying on the ground nearby. Several Dauntless guards dressed in black and a man wearing gray. Tris turns away, an awful sound escaping from her throat and vomits against the wall. I take another look at the dead Abnegation member and realize it is Tris' father, Andrew Prior. Tris covers her mouth with her hand and tries to control her sobs. I gently lead her into the elevator which takes us down to the glass room, past a shouting crowd of Dauntless soldiers and to the building exit.
As soon as we step out into the sunlight a boy who I recognize through Tris' simulations as her brother Caleb, runs towards us. Tris falls into his arms and I hear him ask "Dad?"
Tris shakes her head.
"Well," he says fighting back tears, "he would have wanted it that way."
I look away from them and begin to step forward to give them a little space to grieve alone when I stop mid-stride. My entire body stiffens as I look into the eyes of my father who is standing in front of me.
I had always wondered what a reunion with my father would be like but I didn't expect this and I didn't expect it today. Marcus walks up to me and puts his arms around me, hugging me tightly as if to show everyone what a loving father he is. I stand still with my arms at my sides feeling as if I'm frozen in place.
"Son," Marcus sighs.
I wince slightly. I can't speak. I can't move.
"Hey," I hear Tris say. She moves to stand between us and pushes Marcus back. "Hey. Get away from him. Stay away."
"Beatrice, what are you doing?" I hear Caleb ask.
"Tris," I say.
I'm not a little boy any more. I've experienced meeting my father in my fear landscape over and over again. It's time for me to do it in real life now.
Marcus gives Tris a hurt look, like he doesn't understand why she would be demanding he keep his distance from me.
"Not all those Erudite articles were full of lies." she says, frowning at Marcus.
"What are you talking about?" Marcus asks. "I don't know what you've been told, Beatrice, but -"
"The only reason I haven't shot you yet is because he's the one who should get to do it," she interrupts. "Stay away from him or I'll decide I no longer care."
I put my hands on Tris' arms and gently squeeze. I need to be the one to deal with this, but not now.
"We have to go," I say and I can hear the quiver in my voice. "The train should be here any second."
Marcus stares at Tris for a few seconds more and then begins to walk toward the tracks and the rest of us follow. For the first time I notice Peter, holding his arm where he has been shot, is also there and joining the group. We get to the tracks and I stare straight ahead. I'm still in shock at seeing my father again and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it.
"Sorry," I hear Tris say apologetically.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," I tell her. I take her hand and I can't help noticing that I am trembling.
"If we take the train in the opposite direction, out of the city instead of in, we can get to Amity headquarters," Tris says. "That's where the others went."
"What about Candor?" Caleb asks. "What do you think they'll do?"
No one answers. None of us knows for sure what Candor will do. I don't think they will join with the Erudite, but they may not be willing to fight them either.
We stand next to the tracks, waiting for the train, each of us lost in our own thoughts. It doesn't take me long to realize Tris is about to fall over with exhaustion so I pick her up and carry her in my arms, letting her rest her head on my shoulder.
When I finally see a train approaching I set her down so she can jump onto the train. I sit with my back against the train car with Tris on one side of me and Peter and Marcus on the other side. Caleb sits across from Tris. I pull Tris against me and we bend our knees and bow our heads together trying to create some barrier of privacy.
"My parents," she says. "They died today."
Her mother died today too? I remember meeting Natalie on Visiting Day. I remember how she smiled and how gracious she was to me, even when I was quite rude in my attempt to keep her from discovering my real name. I remember being struck by the thought of how much she obviously loved her daughter.
"They died for me," she says.
"They loved you," I tell her. "To them there was no better way to show you." And I know this is true because they were real Abnegation.
"You nearly died today," I say. "I almost shot you. Why didn't you shoot me, Tris?"
"I couldn't do that," she says. "It would have been like shooting myself."
I lean in closer to her. "I have something to tell you," I say.
Her fingertips brush along the back of my hand and she looks up at me.
"I might be in love with you," I say with a smile. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."
"That's sensible of you," she replies in a teasing voice. "We should find some paper so you can make a list or a chart or something."
I laugh and let my nose slide along her jaw until I reach the side of her head, just behind her ear and kiss her neck.
"Maybe I'm already sure," I say, "and I just don't want to frighten you."
She give a small laugh and says "Then you should know better."
"Fine," I say. "Then I love you."
We kiss for a few minutes and I manage to forget that her brother and my father are sitting so close to us and probably giving us disapproving looks.
Tris takes the hard drive out of her pocket and turns it over and over in her hands. She clutches it to her chest, leans her head on my shoulder and finally drifts off to sleep.
The attack on Abnegation was stopped but the conflict in the city has just begun. Abnegation and Dauntless are both broken and their members divided. No one knows yet how Amity and Candor will respond.
I look down at Tris sleeping and kiss the top of her head before I close my eyes to sleep too. I know we have a long journey ahead of us and there are a lot of unknowns, but we have each other - and as long as we have that, I know we'll be alright.
THE END