ok so i adore the title of this chapter and after reading this you'll hopefully understand why ;_;

when i stop and see you here i remember who all this was for

"Hawkeye?" Edward called cautiously. Riza straightened in relief, followed by Havoc.

"In here," she called back.

"They're coming," Ed announced, jogging up to meet them. Alphonse and Marco followed close behind. To her surprise, Scar was there too. His injured arm was bandaged up and she guessed he was here for the same she and Havoc were.

She nodded. "Get ready everyone."

"Hawkeye?" She turned to see Havoc holding Roy upright. The latter was holding his side once more, a red stain appearing on the side of his shirt. Despite her anger, worry and concern polled in her stomach.

"Havoc, take my place." Taking over the mantle of propping Roy up, she directed him away from doorway where more footsteps sounded.

"You need to help them," Roy urged weakly, a groan of pain leaving him.

"You're hurt," she replied simply, as if it was obvious. Their group exited the office, Havoc announcing that if the officers surrendered, they would be shown mercy.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, eyes closing against the pain. "I didn't mean for it to be like this."

"Just rest," she replied. Her anger dissipated.

"I can't. Not until things are set right."

"Roy –" she begun to protest.

"No. This has been with me for years and it's the one thing I'm actually proud of doing during my time here and with Bradley."

"What are you talking about?" she frowned, considering he might be delirious. Roy shook his head then they were interrupted by Marco.

"I don't know why you felt the need to leave the infirmary like this Mustang," Marco scolded for the umpteenth time.

"I had to."

"You didn't need to exert yourself so much you almost passed out," he snapped back. "Not to mention twice. This self-destructive behaviour will only get you killed. No one wants to see that happen a third time."

He had almost passed out on his way here? Twice?

"There was something important I had to do," Roy shrugged. "It was worth it," he added, meeting Riza's gaze. Marco scoffed quietly and begun to mutter under his breath while he healed Roy with alkahestry.

Riza winced when she saw the state of his stomach. There was a cross of scars along his abdomen. Two where he had been stabbed by Bradley and the others were burn marks. She shuddered at the sight, heart constricting painfully as she thought about how much he had suffered and continued to do so. She hadn't wanted this for him. Since Roy had joined the resistance it had brought him nothing but pain. Riza only hoped he didn't resent her for that fact.

"Come with me." When Riza didn't move, only eyed Roy cautiously, he begged. "Riza, please. This will explain everything."

She didn't want to. Going back down there… It would take a lot. Even stepping outside the office where the stone walls were so much like the walls down there… In the heat of the battle she hadn't noticed it, the distraction being her mind's best friend. However, now there was nothing, just the uncertainty and anxiety she felt towards what Roy's reveal would be.

Most of the officers had surrendered. They had tied them up and placed them in the hallway where they had fought those who resisted. They would be transported to the Keep where they would be held before being moved to Central Headquarters and imprisoned for their crimes against humanity.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but Roy had been one of those people who were tied up outside. He had been present while people were murdered in those mines. Roy hadn't mentioned anything about helping them, so what exactly did he want to show her? That weight that had been crushing her chest since that officer recognised him threatened to overwhelm her. Only when they had arrived here had that point of his life become a reality for Riza.

Regardless, she had promised she would give him the opportunity to do so, but going back down there, where he was pointing to…

You can do this.

Riza nodded.

Havoc remained in the office, keeping an eye on their prisoners. He didn't look happy about it, obviously anxious about leaving her with someone who had tormented people like them in the mines, but he reluctantly agreed. Edward, Alphonse, and Scar were dispatched down below into the cave to liberate the slaves and round up any more officers who were still skulking about.

Anger still manifested inside her, Riza realised as they walked. It was small, but it was there. Why hadn't he done anything here in the years prior to their meeting? That question would never leave her alone. She was angry with him, but Roy loved her. That's what he says. He wouldn't hurt her. He might have done when you were in here.

"Every State Alchemist is required to make regular trips here," he explained as they moved. Riza hung back a few steps, ready to move should she need it. Roy signalled for the lift to rise to their floor and the chains cranked noisily, finally gaining enough tension to lift the platform towards them. "Bradley makes sure of it. I've been here twice before." His tone was bitter and finally, Riza glanced over at him.

"We're required to observe the practices here and ensure our presence quells any thought of revolt." Roy shuddered. "I hated every minute. The only thing useful about it was I used that time to search for you, Riza, but obviously, that never happened. It was my last, desperate, resort, because I didn't want to believe that you'd been subjected to something like this. I couldn't, because my guilt would eat me alive. That's what Hughes always told me anyway. I was more than ready to receive punishment for my failures. I should have protected you all those years ago, especially after realising your father wasn't going to do it for you.

"I did, however, complete another task."

The lift opened into the tunnels below. Riza froze up, inhaling sharply. So lost in her thoughts, the reality of where they were headed didn't fully come to her.

The mines.

She couldn't go back in there. The rock walls closed in on her suddenly, the added weight crushing her chest restricting her ability to breathe. Her hands rose to throat, feeling like she was suffocating as flashes of her time here filled her mind.

"Riza?" Roy called to her. The sound of approaching footsteps thundered in her mind, deafening her. Hands were placed on her shoulders, the weight pressing her even further down to the ground. It hurt. Then suddenly she was wrapped in his arms, arms crushing her against his chest. As much as she was angry at him, she clutched at him desperately, burying her face in his chest while trying to get a breath. His scent filled her. It usually calmed her but after the last couple of hours it made her want to cry.

How could he have willingly participated in this?

"I've got you. You're going to be okay. I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about where we were going. Let's go back up, okay?"

She shook her head and Roy readjusted his grip, holding her even tighter. Every time he moved, she felt him wince. After trying to pull away, to stop him from hurting himself, Roy refused to let go, opting to murmur reassurances in her ear instead.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't even think. Let's go back to Havoc. He'll help –"

After one final deep breath, she replied. "No." They way Roy had sounded so miserable when he spoke finally spurred her into motion.

"What?"

"Let's finish this." It terrified her, but she needed to do this.

"Riza –?"

She silenced him with another sigh. Composing herself, she pulled her head away, not meeting his gaze. "Let's do it." She pushed away and walked forward with a purpose. If she didn't think about where she was going, keeping her eyes on the floor, she could trick her brain into thinking she was elsewhere.

Too long this place had held her hostage in her mind. It was time to face it head on. Her legs shook, hands trembled by her sides, but she would do it. It was time. Breaths quickening as it got darker, she ploughed forward, cursing Bradley and this place until she needed to gasp for air. Then she did it again. Being acutely aware of Roy beside her helped.

"Through here," he directed, voice holding the concern he clearly felt for her. Riza realised she might not appear to be in the soundest state of mind, but she would whisper curses under her breath if it helped her get through this. There were painful marks in her palms as her nails dug into them. A distraction. You need a distraction.

A wooden doorway was set in the stone wall, leading to another passageway. When the door opened, this hallway was darker and Riza froze.

"Talk," she choked out, fighting off the darkness in her mind.

"What?"

"Please, just talk. Say anything."

"… Right, sure. Okay." Roy began to ramble about nothing of importance. She used his voice for something to hold onto, like a rope in this darkness, holding her steady and keeping her tethered to reality.

They had been walking for some time, around twenty minutes or so. Riza didn't really notice it, all she was focussed on was the sound of Roy's voice and keeping her breathing even.

"Here we go," Roy announced, but all Riza saw was darkness. Slowly, as they approached, she felt a slight breeze and saw a faint light at the end of the tunnel. Exiting it, Riza raised her hand to shield her eyes from the bright sunshine. They were overlooking a valley outside the mines. Green fields stretched as far as they eye could see. There was a small village nestled at the bottom. "There," Roy pointed.

"What about it?"

"I'll show you."

Another bout of walking – followed by a few stops to allow Roy to rest, his injured side still not leaving him at one hundred per cent, Riza noticed with a concerned frown – they arrived. It looked like any normal village. Riza didn't understand what was so special about it.

"Mr. Mustang!" a woman cried happily. She had a bright smile on her face as she spotted him. Turning and altering her course, she left her companion in the middle of the street.

A teenager with blonde hair peeked around the woman, eyes scrutinising the two newcomers. "Who are they?" she asked. She was wearing overalls which were covered in grease and a set of goggles on top of her head.

"Winry, this is Mr. Mustang. He helped us escape when you were only a child."

Wait… Escaped?

The girl – Winry – blinked. "He did?"

"Yes, and everyone else."

"But… Why didn't you ever tell me?" Winry asked, looking confused. "You said you got out yourself."

Mrs. Rockbell looked between the girl and Roy. "He asked us not to mention it, in fear someone would overhear and report back to Central. He saved everyone here, honey, and we're all very grateful to him. You were probably too young to remember. Please," she beckoned to Roy. "Come with us and rest a while. It looks like you have a wound that needs looked at. Did this happen recently?" she asked in concern. Riza's brain was still stuck a few seconds behind, stuttering and focussing on the fact that he'd got all these people out.

"Ah, thank you, Mrs. Rockbell."

"Please, call me Sarah," she laughed, waving his thanks off. "Mr. Mustang, it's been years now and you still insist on being so formal."

Roy grasped Riza's hand and tugged her unresisting body along. She was too shocked to move herself. Roy had… saved all these people?

"I got them out," he murmured. "I asked those working in the mines if I could take them into that tunnel in order to control the damage of the flames. I used the excuse that I was still inexperienced and couldn't control it, then built the tunnel out of there with alchemy. It's rough, but it worked."

She didn't know what to say. There were around fifteen homes here, all filled with people, and they were all happy.

"I had to show you because if I didn't, you would never believe me."

Mrs. Rockbell continued to chat to Roy as they walked but Riza was barely paying attention, looking in disbelief around her.

One person drew her attention away from everything else. Riza zeroed in on the woman laughing with another man. A Xingese woman. Of their own accord, Riza's feet turned and began to walk towards her. She heard Roy call her name uncertainly but didn't register it. Her vision tunnelled to this one woman.

Noticing movement out the corner of her eye, the Xingese woman looked up and did a double take. Their eyes locked and Riza stood, frozen.

It was her.

It had been ten years since they last met but Li Yao hadn't changed one bit. The only difference was her long black ponytail tumbling down the front of her dress. In the mines everyone's hair was cut short, probably to stop people trying to strangle themselves with it to escape.

Li raised a hand to her mouth in shock, whispering something in Xingese. "Riza? Little Riza, is that you?"

Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, but no sound came out. Riza's hands trembled by her side as her emotions begun to storm inside her, threatening to break free in an explosion of feeling.

Li muttered in Xingese again. "It's her."

Riza broke.

As soon as she rushed forward Li opened her arms with a teary smile, encircling Riza in her embrace like she had done all those years ago. It felt like she was returning home. She didn't care her sobs were drawing the attention of those around her. Riza didn't mind that she felt like she was slowly unravelling once again because Li was alive.

"We thought you were dead," Riza gasped in between sobs. "I thought you were dead."

"We?" she asked, her accent just as thick as Riza remembered. Oh, how she had missed it. "Little Jean? He's still alive?" Riza nodded. "Oh, thank the gods," she whispered in Xingese, holding Riza even tighter.

"But…" Riza raised her head, looking for Roy. He stood a few metres away, watching the exchange carefully. "You saved her."

"Yes, Mr. Mustang saved my life. I owe him my life."

Roy smiled sheepishly. "I told you, that's not necessary –"

"You saved my life and you've helped my Little Riza. I owe you my life," she stressed.

"Ah, thank you."

To think they had come so close in the past, but their paths never crossed… However, he had saved the life of the one person who had been a mother figure to Riza. She had been too young to really remember what her mother had been like. Nowadays she was a faceless figure with long blonde hair, her father had removed all the pictures from their home after she passed, but Riza would never forget her warmth.

"Come," Li beckoned her, taking Riza's hand. "We have a lot to catch up on." Riza felt a laugh bubble in her chest. They certainly did. "I want to hear all about your life. Where is Jean? Is he nearby? You two were inseparable. Oh Riza, I've missed you so much."

Riza basked in Li's warmth once more, a small smile spreading on her face through the tears.