Chapter Twenty-Six
(EPOV)
"Then we can't be together."
"You know what's more important to me to me than you getting help?"
"Nothing, Edward. The answer is nothing."
She didn't mean that shit. She couldn't have. Not to me. Not about us.
She was mine. My girl. My Bella.
The reason I fucking breathed, and there she was, stealing my oxygen.
I tried to look at her, but when she ignored me with a satisfied smile on her face, I knew. I knew it with every fiber of my being, with the way my hands trembled; I knew she didn't love me anymore and was through with of all of my bullshit.
Bella and I were over.
And I deserved every ounce of torment that thought brought to my head.
Looking back, I'd committed every unforgiveable act of sin. Threatening to leave, blaming her for the fire, guilting her into staying around…she didn't deserve any of it.
I was out of class before the bell finished ringing, bumping and shoving anyone who stood in my way. I couldn't handle them right now. Not their high fives and pats on the back, the same fuckers who'd laughed at me just days earlier.
"Edward?"
I ignored a concerned Alice and stormed into the nurse's station.
"Mr. Cullen, how may I help you?" Nurse Masen leaned over her clipboard, writing my name and time down. She was waiting to fill out my ailment.
There weren't enough pages in the world.
"My legs are sore." In general, it was the truth. The muscles had never been the same since… before. But anything to do with the fire and every adult around me kneeled to me in pity. For now, I would use it to my advantage.
"Oh, I'm sorry, dear," Nurse Masen looked around frantically, trying to think of some way to assist me. "You poor boy. Well, you can lie down, if you want. I don't have any medication on file for you, but-"
"Can I leave? I don't think I can manage the rest of the day."
"Why of course. I'll send out a notice to your teachers. Just take a seat while I call Mrs. Cullen."
I nodded, thanking her as I shifted the heavy backpack on my shoulder. I sat in the chair, avoiding some freshman who had fainted from the sight of blood in biology class. What a pussy.
While Nurse Masen called Esme, I struggled to hold it together. The more I thought about Bella, the angrier I became. We were supposed to be together. We weren't like those other teenage couples you saw making out in the hallway. We were one fucking soul; the same entity that woke me up in the mornings laid me to sleep at night. And somehow, she forgot about that.
I didn't need professional help.
I needed her.
By the time Aunt Esme picked me up, it was after lunchtime. It was a bitch move, having your aunty pick you up, but I was in no shape to drive. Even after she and Carlisle had bought me a Mercedes, it sat in the garage untouched.
My legs weren't ready for the control it needed to push on the pedals, and even if it did, I didn't think I could drive just yet. I had some unexplainable fear the car would explode on me. Fire would burst and…
That thought terrified the shit out of me.
I stared out of the passenger window, noticing all of the green turn to white from the falling snow. It was as if the sunlight had disappeared all because of me. Esme glanced at me, the worry creasing the wrinkles below her eyes.
"Are you all right, Edward? You seem upset."
I wanted to tell her to fuck off, that it was none of her business. She wasn't my mother, although she tried her damndest to be. That shit wasn't ever going to happen. My mother was dead, she wasn't coming back, and Esme couldn't replace her. Ever.
But she did care about me, for reasons unknown.
"Bella broke up with me."
"Ahh, I see." Esme nodded and slowly turned the steering wheel to make a left. "Did she tell you why?"
Unlike the Swans, my aunt and uncle knew about our relationship. Though they'd tried to discourage me, they kept out of it. Charlie had called Carlisle, basically cursing him out about "my dysfunctional behavior." The only rule Carlisle had was to not bring Bella to the house. He didn't want Charlie breathing down his neck.
"She said I needed help. Fucking therapy or something!" I scoffed. "Can you believe that shit?"
"Well…" Esme began slowly. "Do you?"
"Do I what?" I asked, frowning.
"Do you need help? Do you think you've coped with everything on your own just fine?"
"Of course." What kind of dumb-fuck question was that? That's all I did was cope. Every morning, when it took all of my strength not to just lay in bed all day. Every time I came across an idiot in the hall and managed not to punch them across his stupid face. Every minute, when I listened to Carlisle bitching about something or another, and I didn't throw his ass down the stairs. That was me coping.
Esme finally arrived at their house - a place I refused to call home - and parked the car without moving to leave. "Edward, you've been through a lot in the past year. It's more than most people would be able to handle. But sometimes, we try so hard to be strong that we start to bend, because we can't handle all of the weight. And after a while, when you're bending, others around you are breaking. Little pieces here and there. Sometimes they're so small, you don't notice the cracks, because you are so busy trying to hold yourself together. So Edward, if you are bending, if you are to the point of collapsing, if you are struggling to even live, then who is helping poor, broken Bella?"
When I didn't answer, Esme kissed me on my cheek.
"I'm proud of you, Edward. I know life isn't easy, but it will get better. I just want you to remember something."
I grimaced, dreading her motherly advice.
"You fought through fire, and you survived. You may have thought you were abandoned, but I saw something different. I saw a girl stand by your side every single day, praying you would live. I saw a girl put aside all that she was just to be with you. When your bones were broken, she also shattered. For every surgery you had, the doctor might as well have performed on Bella, too. She ached when you ached, cried when you cried. And even when you denied her a single visit, she didn't give up. If you continue to live proving to anyone and everyone that you survived by yourself, you're going to make the very nightmare you dread come true. The one person who would burn with you and for you will eventually wither away. And do you know what will happen next?"
I shook my head as Esme turned off the ignition and opened her door.
"You truly will be all alone in the ashes. And there's not a single Bella in the world who can save you from yourself."
Surprise! I thought you all would like an Edward point of view. Don't worry, there's more to come.
TY MariahajilE and Blueeyedcherry. I think you guys are more pissed about the last cliffie than readers are. LOL.
READERS- I wrote in EPOV to connect the chapters 25 and 27. Just to let you know, all of your guesses (about the van) were wrong. ALL of them.
AITA in Greek means 'divine ruler of the underworld'. Just take that into consideration and realize my evilness has no limitations. ;D