APOV
I'm slowly losing my mind. Not a word has been exchanged between Christian and I since we left the club. He hasn't looked at me. Touched me. Nothing. At this point, my existence felt inconspicuous.
Seconds felt like hours on the drive to what I presumed was to Christian's loft downtown. That, however, wasn't my biggest concern. His demeanor continues to escalate at an alarming rate. His hands fist the steering wheel with white-knuckled force and the muscles in his jaw tick wildly. He was a convoluted mess. And so was I.
The dense silence was suffocating. Beads of sweat lined my forehead and coat my palms. My stomach is in knots. My breathing is ragged and my heart is hammering away against my chest.
I wasn't scared per se, but nervous. Absolutely.
I have little confidence of what is going on or of what is eating away at Christian right now. And in these couple of weeks of knowing him, I've found that unlike the saying, not knowing was definitely way worse than knowing.
All too soon we're at his penthouse. The jingle of his keys breaks the daunting silence as he unlocks the door. Begrudgingly, I follow him in. My heels click against the glossy marble floors. Each step, every pang, reverberates to my chest. My heart was beating too fast, too hard.
Frazzled nerves sink in deeper. A faint sting brings my eyes to my hand clenched tightly into a fist. Hesitantly, I relax the muscles, my palm opening to reveal the indentations from my fingernails. Not good….
My eyes mechanically avert to something calming. They rest upon the breathtaking sight of before me. The contrast of Seattle's starless sky – a near pitch black canvas highlighted the city dappled in gold. God, it looks so different at night. It's hard to believe it's the same city I saw from this exact view just a week ago.
It's peculiar, how day and night change how we see things…
The abrupt sound of the door closing rather harshly makes me jump. And when the loud clang of keys hitting a hard surface comes into the mix I can't help but break my eyes from the view and quickly spin toward the fading sound.
In the distance, I watch as Christian discards himself of his suit jacket and sets it aside next to his keys. He then takes in a deep breath before rolling the sleeves of his shirt, folding them perfectly until they sit just below his elbows. And before my mind has time to register it, he's prowling toward me.
All the blood in my veins turns cold. His approach looked feline and predatory. Instinctively, I take a few steps back. A self-assured smile graces his features. It has a sinister pull to it and cued he knows he's unsettling me. And boy, am I unsettled.
The air gets heavier as he closes in on me, his face inches from mine. Unconsciously, my body locks and I turn into the perfect victim. His gaze holds mine, his stare so hot, galvanized. Pure fire. I can sense his need – a need for more. Of what? I wasn't sure. But it alone almost devours me.
I try to push back the swell of anxiety, but his proximity… it's intimidating. Yet at the same time, it's riveting and intoxicates every inch of my body. Something electric flares up my insides and pebbles my skin. It's difficult to distinguish, but it's almost like a warning. Though it's too slow and I'm not fast to analysis it completely before I'm suddenly drowned in a kiss.
Thick fingers tangle roughly into my hair, twining the locks around his fingers and into a fist. The act screamed dominance. The fist in my hair yanks my head back and then twists my face to meet his gaze. Pain prickles across my scalp. My sex clenches in time with the little bite of pain.
Proprietary eyes bore into me, extinguishing any playfulness that might have persisted. "I control this." Christian's beguiling confession drags me into a serious focus. "Not you. Me. Understand?"
I still at his words. No, I don't understand! Where is this coming from?
I try to pull out of his reach, needing a second to think, but his touch brings me back.
"Don't turn away from me," he said in a chilling voice.
I gaped at him.
Christian's eyes darken and fill with carnal intentions that cause a frisson of fear to slither through me. I take a deep breath and force it down, but it gets lodged in my throat. A chill tears down my spine. I'm trembling from it when Christian eases into me, closing space with his body against mine.
"Tell me no if you can't do this," Christian says, his voice calmer, as he places a finger under my chin. "I'm giving you the courtesy of warning you that if you allow this to go any further, I won't be able to stop."
"And what exactly would I be saying no to," I inquire, my voice low and shaky.
"From the beginning, I told you what I needed, Ana – control. You took that from me."
I tremble, the meaning of his words dawning on me. I had stripped him of the one thing he knew best about himself. This was the dark and dangerous side of Christian. It was the one that I had gotten a glimpse of at the club, and earlier today in his office. Yet just as quickly as it was unleashed, Christian had sheathed it.
At first, I didn't quite understand – why he was behaving like he was. I had pondered during the drive here, brooding in the heavy silence as to what I did to put him in his aloof and cold state. I came up short.
But it was clear now.
I set him off. I obscured his superiority complex, his control. I slid beneath his 'unbreachable' defense. And because I found an aperture – an opening that he feels might weaken his guise – he's pushing me, testing me, teaching me who has the real control.
The voices in my head screamed and chanted, projecting their opinions. It was illogical. Wrong. Immoral. Criminal. But I didn't care. Never have I been so turned on, laden with sublime desire. I wanted him before and I still want him now.
In the light of my epiphany, the blood in my veins surge with adrenaline as my pulse soars wildly. It squelches the last of my anxiety and goads me with such boldness that I ask, "So you're going to punish me? For taking away your control?"
Unexpectedly, I'm spun around, facing Christian once more. His lips curl up, creating a wide, sadistic smile. "Something like that." Then, in a blink, my front is pinned against the kitchen's island.
One hand firmly grips my waist, locking me in place, restricting my movements, while the other tugs at my skin, traveling up my thigh and raising the skirt of my dress.
His lips ghost along my jawline, stopping at my ear. "Don't move," he orders, his voice low and heated. "Understand?"
I nod fiercely. He ducks his head into my neck and breathes me in. I can feel his hot breath in my hair. My body trembles, my breath comes out in short gasps as he sucks on my neck. When his tongue runs along the shell of my ear then bites the sensitive spot below it, my knees buckle right from under me. The death grip he places on my hips along with his powerful frame pressing me like into the counter keeps me upright. My eyes snap shut from the roughness of it.
There were no words to describe what I am feeling. These uncharted waters – being ordered around and viciously possessed – are completely foreign to me. My arousal, however, was too overt to disguise. Whatever this was. Whatever he was doing to me. I was addicted.
Christian places a menacing grip on my waist and hauled me off the floor with a kind of strength I didn't think a man could possess. The swift movement incites a yelp from my lips and my heels to fall to the floor. He perches me onto the counter; the cold granite meeting my overheated skin makes me hiss. However, my attention is promptly steered back to Christian when he cups my chin, tilting my face so I have no choice other than to look at him.
A diabolic smile takes over Christian's features before his lips crash against mine with an almost bruising force. He nips, licks, and sucks my tongue – driving me completely insane. I'm so wantonly hot and wet for this man; it's unreal. He tears his lips from mine and he shoots me a predatory glare as I sit helplessly, taking him in with bated breaths. The look was feral and scary, but thrilling at the same time.
To a normal human being, this switch from Mr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde would signal alarms to ring and their bodies to shift into defense mode. They'd take this golden opportunity to head right to that front door and run far, far far away until their feet bled.
Nothing about you is normal, Ana, Christian's words from earlier today echo in my brain.
Until now, I hadn't understood how true his words were, but his time they resonate and I now know that I didn't fit into "normal" mold. Nor did I have to be.
Covetous hands coast from my waist to fist the hem of my dress to then only pause. "Raise your arms."
I obliged immediately. His powerful arms dragged my dress over my arms with a sharp tug, leaving me nearly naked, only my matching black lace bra and panties remained. The second my brain registers the cool air hitting my hyper-sensitive skin, heady hedonism engulfs me.
A scorching hand slips to my back and brands my skin. Expert fingers deftly unclasp my bra. I don't even notice Christian freeing me off it until he cups both my breasts, his thumbs dragging over my sensitive nipples.
Strangled sounds fled precipitously from my throat. Instantly my breasts feel heavier and nipples tighter. A haze rolls in and roots itself in my head, muddling my mind until all that existed was the feeling and the effects of his touch. A soft whine escapes me as he suddenly leans back, leaving me bereft. It was just a few feet, but enough that I can sense the loss of his warmth from my body. Like magnets, my legs cling together, trying to quell the building pressure. As the distance between us sustains, I begin to shift restlessly, my self-restraint swindling. In need of a distraction, my attention locks onto Christian shrugging out of his shirt in one smooth motion. My breath hitches as he tortuously works the buttons, slowly revealing more and more of his tantalizing skin. Mesmerized, I drag my lip between my teeth.
He regards me for a moment, eyes sweeping down my body with pure mischief. His stare builds hot, pulsing, wetness between my thighs. I'm certain he knows just how much I'm suffering. Corded muscles flex and roll as he frees the last button and rids himself of his shirt. I can't help but drink him in, every single inch.
Christian had a body was built to please. Broad chest. Deep ridges defined the rock hard muscles of his sleek and toned stomach. All leading to his slender hips and the sexy V the sinks below the waistband of his pants.
I want to devour this man. He was so male. One hundred percent virile. One hundred percent mine.
Miniature flecks of gray flicker in the depths of his irises. "See something you like?"
Oh yes. God, yes.
But when my mouth opens nothing comes out. I can't find my voice. He's literally left me speechless.
I was salivating by the time he prowls back to me and wedges himself between my legs. With an almost bruising force, he clutches both my knees. Then with a sharp tug, he pulls me to the counter's edge, my bottom barely staying on.
Our bodies are drawn impossibly closer when he hitches my legs to encircle his hips. His mouth closes down on mine, it's brutal and punishing. Drugging even. Yearning for more, for his skin to me on mine, my hands run over his bare chest, replicating the same roughness he'd performed on me.
He groaned against my mouth and broke the kiss. "Lean back and don't move or there will be consequences."
I sucked in air. I hadn't read enough of the contract to know what 'consequences' entailed. Some fucked up part of me wanted to provoke him and find out. Explore the depths of this man I hardly knew and the darkness that was coming off him in wicked waves. But I decide to comply because I realize at this very moment I didn't want to be in charge or to feel the vexing weight of control on my shoulders. He was freeing me of that. By demanding my total surrender and to submit. And every fiber within me, to the very last cell, screamed to give it to him. Whatever he wants, whatever he needs. I'll give.
Following his command, I slide my body back and I shift my weight to my arms. I'm rewarded when his warm, wet mouth closes over one of my nipples and sucks almost to the point of pain. His hands then slip beneath the fabric of my thong, fingertips expertly finding and stroking my clit and –"Oh God!" – a jolt of pain strikes me full force. My back bows involuntarily and my nails scrape the granite as a cry escapes my throat.
My eyes flick to my right nipple. Red indentations mark the swollen tip. A ribbon of rapture unfurls deep inside me, making me weep. I've never anything quite like this. Both agony and ecstasy: sweltering ache and all consuming delight. It was pain and pleasure all at once.
Christian's chuckles, the soft vibrations tickle my skin, "You like that, baby?" he asks gruffly.
I hum in response. Wasting no time, Christian bared his teeth and claimed my other nipple, gently biting down on the tip. The needle-sharp pain longs for only a second, fading quickly when he drags the flat of his tongue over the stiffened peak, transforming the pain into searing pleasure that awakens my insides like the first thunderclap of a tempestuous storm.
Desperate, overwrought and strung to its limits, my body reaches for him. "No." Christian fiercely grips my upper arms, jolting into me, and pins me back in place. When he spares me a 'don't-fuck-with-me' look, I chew on my lip. "Try that again and I won't hesitate to punish you."
"But I want to touch you." I wept.
"I know, baby…I know." His words and expression are gentle and understanding. Sweet even. So It takes me by surprise when he thrusts two fingers into me suddenly. I cry out and my body quakes violently from the shock of it.
"Jesus, Ana," Christian breathed. "You're so wet for me..." He thrust a few times, hard and soft, then fast and slow, before he starts the whole tortuous process again.
"Oh, God," I moaned.
My chest heaves and a series of whimpers lure from my body. I greedily clenched around him. The rawness of his words destroys my last wall. And I'm close, so close that I'm on the precipice…
"Uh-uh-uh," he scolds, slowing his movements inside me. "I want you to beg."
My eyes dart frantically to his, yielding my confusion.
"You want to come, right?" His timbre is chilling, a prominent sense of detachment to it.
"Yes. God, yes," I answer immediately as I shamelessly jerk my hips, urging for him to continue. I was panting for release. For him. "There's nothing I want more." Before I realized what was happening, his fingers withdrawal and thrusts back in with a third finger.
"Fuck!" I cried out.
"At the club, you said you'd beg for it. So beg me. Say the words." I swallowed hard. I want to protest, to tell him that was different. But I didn't have it in me.
Because in that moment I was at his mercy. I'd do anything he wanted. That's how much he owned me. And he knew it.
"Please…" I whimper, my voice rattled.
He tsks at me impatiently. "Louder. Like you mean it."
I bite the inside of my cheek. "Christian…please. I don't–" He lowered, drawing my ear in between his teeth before sharply biting down.
"I could stop this now. Leave you hungry. Leave you wanting."
"Please… don't."
"Then address me properly or all this ends. Right here. Right now."
Seconds tick away, as he waits for my response, but my mind was so muddled, I couldn't formulate what he had meant. I start to ask when it clicks.
A blush hot as an infernal hellfire shades my cheeks.
"Sir, please." I whispered huskily, the honorific coming to me eerily easy.
"I know you can do better than that." His fingers crook inside me, teasing that perfect spot and suddenly I'm absolved of the last vestiges of ambivalence left in me.
"I beg you. Please, Sir!" I projected, my voice serrated with shame.
"Good girl." Christian purrs. His sensual lips curved up into a devious smile.
He acquiesces, finally giving me what I need. My toes curl and my limbs stiffen as an explosion of electric pulses roll from my core to my entire body.
I am floating. Levitating in euphoric bliss, completely weightless.
God, how could relinquishing all control feel like I've touched heaven?
My sex ripples around Christian's fingers with ravenous greed as he leisurely extricates his fingers out of me. He reestablishes eye contact, mischievous triumph flickers in his eyes. Seductively, he wraps his lips around one of the fingers that were inside me, sucking my juices off him. "Fuck, you taste so good."
The sight sends small bursts of undulating convulsions to coat my body. I fall lax. My body feels spineless like a jellyfish. I'm so far gone, my brain is still playing catch up, that I miss Christian slipping my lace thong right from under me and then kneeling to the floor.
He hooks my legs over his shoulders. The brisk change in position forced all my weight to my arms, making my elbows the source of my support. I gasped as he tongue skims the apex of my thighs, just inches from my achingly wet and swollen sex. He teases, taunts, deliberately torturing my trembling slit before pushing his tongue inside my cleft.
I screamed his name and my head fell back in delirium. It was so much. Too much. My chest viciously burns as my lungs hungrily fight for just one breath. I gasp and gasp, air warring its way in until a pleasure so intense knocks it right back out of me.
The climax tears through me, my body igniting into sweltering flames. Tears leak from the corner of my eyes and blackness threatens to speckle my vision. But Christian doesn't stop, his tongue relentlessly lashes against my clit.
No longer able to resist disobeying his order, one of my hands ventured to his head and grabbed a fistful of his silky hair in an attempt to stop his assault. But no mercy was shown.
The harder I pulled his hair or borrowed my nails into his scalp, the more his tongue speared into me. One orgasm rolls into another. It leaves me sobbing and on the verge of being sent into the throes of oblivion. "Please. No more." I pleaded gravelly, my limbs writhing uncontrollably. "I can't take it."
I feel Christian relax his ministrations, ending his onslaught, finally letting me come down. I've never felt so much happiness when my body gives out and I collapses onto the bar. Blood roared in my ears, blocking all sound and my surrounds. I was mindless. Lost in paradise.
I'm interrupted and pulled out of my ecstasy filled nirvana when I'm hauled up in Christian's arms and his hand strikes my bare flesh. Startled, I yelp and dig my nails into his back. The sensation was eerily familiar. White-hot burning and stinging hovered over my soft flesh, making it throb.
"What did I say about keeping still?" I stare at him dazedly through bleary eyes. His expression foreboding. I quiver, knowing where this was headed.
"I… I'm sorry," was all I could manage.
A satisfied grin twisted upon his features, carrying an edge of cruelty in its form. He carried me to his bedroom. Once inside, the door is kicked shut and I'm hauled over to the bed.
My limbs prolong their struggle to reawaken even after I'm gently deposited on the crisp white sheets of his bed. Moments pass and I realize a lack of warmth. Christian hasn't joined me. The revelation incites enough energy in me to lift my head. At the foot of the bed, I see him - at first a murky silhouette in the darkness, but when the moon's light breaks through dark billowing clouds, it drips through the room's windows and casts a silver veil over his features.
We watched each other. He regards me warily as he stands there. For a fraction of a second, he appears wavered, but it soon dissipates and his hands make work of his pants, unbuckling the belt and unzipping them. Other than my labored pants, it's the only sound that echoes through the stark silent room.
It was then, when Christian strips himself of the rest of his clothing and reveals his erection, that my heart stopped.
I was about to hand over my body to a masterpiece, a living work of art, I thought.
Christian smiled as if he knew what I was thinking and then joined me in bed. He towered over me like fortified steel. His sleek muscles rippled as he held himself over me. I inhale the moment he slowly slides his hands to the back of my knee, prying my legs apart. It's then, I realize, the vulnerability of my state. My scars – the many permanent reminders of my pain – are on full display. Totally bared.
I flinch when his fingers stroke over the marred flesh. My eyes close at the intimacy of his touch. Nonetheless, ugly memories fight their way back, haunting me with the past. It's terrifying. How a moment so breathtakingly perfect could be ruined with just one touch.
I start to quell under him, my body close to trembling. Ashamed, I close my eyes and tilt my head away. Christian stops me, taking my chin between his fingers.
"You don't have to hide from me," he says, daintily stroking away a tear that clung to my cheek. "Look at me." It's not easy, but I do. My breath catches when I detect a difference in him - there was an amorous, a grounded serenity about him. Witnessing that settled a sense of security and safety inside me.
Choppy, unsteady breaths slow and even out. My anxiety lessens, quickly becoming nothing but a distant memory.
Leaning his weight on his forearms, Christian lowers his body to mine. I whimper at the contact of his erection lay heavy against my lower belly. My hands instinctively lay on his chest as he rests his forehead against mine; every exhale of his breath feathers across my skin. Under my hands, I feel his rib cage expand as he takes in shallow and jagged breaths. Seconds pass. Neither of us move. We breathe each other in. Taking in the moment. Taking in each other.
He pulls back some, just enough to look me in the eyes. The way he stares at me I think he's going to say something, but nothing. It goes on like that for minutes. I count the tortuous second in my head.
It should be awkward, but it's far from it. Finally, he speaks. It's only my name. But I hear the question in his voice. It somehow reaches his eyes, lingering there in the depths of his gray irises.
He seems to struggle with the question, but he doesn't even have to say it because I already know what it is and its answer. Emotion consumes me and I lift a hand to his face, smoothing my fingers over the light stubble on his jaw.
And in a strained whisper, I say the three words I know he craves to hear. "I trust you."
AN: This was my first time writing smut so, for those who do it regularly, I just want to praise you. Let me tell you, it is not easy. Anyways, I love you guys, thanks for all the love and support. It keeps me going. I won't keep you waiting for the continuation of this chapter because as you might've inferred, it will be the chapter you all have been waiting for.
See you soon. xoxo