Chapter 26
"Elliot! I'm so glad you are here!" Christian stands up to greet his brother and pulls him into a big brotherly hug much to Elliot's astonishment. Elliot is facing me and looking at me wide-eyed and in shock. He keeps his arms out, not sure what to do with them so I get up and carefully pull them down so they are touching his brothers back. Elliot's body starts shaking as he lets out a sob and my heart breaks for him knowing just how big a deal this is for the both of them.
Through his tears, Elliot manages a "Me too," which causes Christian to let out a deep chuckle.
I scan the room and see that Ros is also in tears, Judith's mouth is agape. Even Kate seems to be touched by this expression of affection between the two brothers. I am just so excited that Christian is able to take such big steps in his recovery on his own. I have no doubt that this isn't the first time he has wanted to hug his brother and I feel like I am about to explode with pride.
Once Christian is sure that his brother can support himself, Christian takes a step back. Elliot wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his blue plaid flannel shirt and eyes in on Kate. "Who is this lovely lady and why have we never met before?" he says effectively breaking the ice. I have been told that Elliot has been known for playing the field.
Kate holds her hand out to him and introduces herself. "Katherine Kavanaugh. You may call me Kate. Pleasure to make your acquaintance." I raise my eyebrow as it is obvious to me that she is smitten. If Kate becomes all formal with a man, she likes them but wants to make them work for her. When she is all flirty and casual, the best a guy has hope for is a brief fling.
Elliot takes her hand and kisses it. "Elliot Grey, Christian's better at everything, older brother." He introduces himself and then takes a seat next to her on the oversized armchair effectively squeezing himself next to her.
Christian reclaims his seat next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Gail just texted that dinner will be served in five minutes." He tells the room before turning back to Judith, "I really don't understand why you feel that my doing a human interest piece would harm GEH. Had details of my private life not been disclosed, we wouldn't be talking about this at all but my image could have used some softening before all of this and now it definitely needs to be softened." Christian argues his point.
Judith sits up and leans in towards Christian before sighing. "Mr. Grey, my only concern is that you have chosen an unknown, unproven journalist to write it." Kates mouth opens to defend herself but Judith puts her hand up to stop her. "I admit, all well known and established journalist were all once unknown and unproven and if you believe in Kate then all of us in your PR department will back you on this. I would just like to get her to agree to some parameters before the interview so that we don't get the short end of the stick. This is a big deal and she has nothing to lose and everything to gain with such a powerful father, no less. I have been burned before with a budding reporter so I admit I am coming into this already jaded but I would love nothing more than for her to prove me wrong." Judith finishes and leans back into her seat satisfied that she finally unloaded everything that was weighing heavy on her mind.
Kate immediately pipes up. "Judith, I promise you that I will prove you wrong. I will write a piece that will make not only you, but Christian, Ana, his family, and my family proud. I am willing to give you forty-eight hour lead time for all the questions I intend on asking as well as a read ahead of the article with possible line edits prior to my submission to the agency." I give Kate an approving look as I watch my best friend negotiate the terms of interviewing Christian.
Christian squeezes my hand, "I would like to be able to have final approval of the finished article as I said before. I would like to get this done as soon as possible." He inserts himself into the negotiating process. I smirk, I knew there was no way he would allow himself to be left out of a negotiation.
Judith, Kate, and Christian finally all agree to the terms just as Gail comes in to announce dinner. "Elliot! I heard you were coming for dinner so tonight we have prime rib with horseradish sauce, loaded baked potatoes, Caesar salad, and fresh bread rolls."
Elliot gets up and gives Gail a very dramatic hug. "You DO love me. You cooked all of my favorites!" which elicits a small giggle from her.
Gail then turns to Christian, "Sir, did you want to select the wine for tonight or shall I?"
"You may select the wine tonight Gail, thank you for asking." Christian surprises her. When it comes to wine, he likes to be the one in control. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close before planting a light kiss on my temple. It always amazes me just how good he manages to make me feel with just small gestures like that. Even in a room full of people he manages to make me feel so loved and so safe.
We all retire to the dining room and I notice that Elliot makes sure to maneuver himself so that he would be sitting beside Kate. Kate is doing her best to look indifferent but I have visions of her doing her happy dance and it makes me chuckle out loud.
"What?" Christian asks me with the cutest smile. When he sees what I am looking at he turns back and gives me a knowing look before wiggling his eyebrows at me. I will not be surprised if they end up leaving together later.
Dinner was delicious and the conversation flowed easily. Even Judith was delightful despite being a sour grape earlier. Ros was the first to admit defeat. She threw her napkin over her plate and pushed herself away from the table. "Please Grey, tell me that Gail did not make dessert."
"I certainly did. I have banana pudding ready and the coffee is on. Decaf since it is after dinner but I can have some regular ready if anyone wants some." Gail answers as she comes in to clear the table.
Kate immediately perks up. "I don't want to put you out Gail but I would love some regular coffee. I have a feeling I am going to have a late night tonight." I snap my head at her and she gives me a smirk and a wink. I did notice Elliot whispering in her ear throughout dinner. I am going to have to call her tomorrow to get the details.
"Nonsense. You aren't putting me out a bit, dear. I love when I get to take care of a crowd. I haven't had many opportunities to do that here, but something tells me things are about to change on that front." Gail tells her while staring at Christian like a proud mother.
As after dinner conversations start winding down, I can't help but start to feel a bit nervous. Christian said that we would talk about the Red Room later and later is fast approaching. I don't really know why I am nervous, it isn't like we haven't talked about sex before. I guess it is because I don't exactly know what I want. If Christian says he is only open to vanilla, I will accept that but I also know that deep down I will be a little disappointed.
"Ana, Christian said that you are staying in Seattle for good now, how do you feel about that?" Ros asks, bringing me out of my head. Christian brings his hand and places it on my thigh, distracting me a bit.
"It has been a whirlwind and I really did enjoy my time in New Orleans. The job was fantastic and I am glad I went and had those experiences because now I won't wonder "what if I do wish that I would have been able to leave on my terms but all in all, I am pretty happy. Christian here is worth it." I tell her honestly.
Ros nods in understanding. "I'll bet. Well, I am happy you are here because Christian has been so much easier to deal with. The firing rate around GEH has been on a sharp decline since you have arrived and on behalf of all the employees at GEH, we are sincerely grateful for the Anastasia Effect." She says cheekily, sticking her tongue out at Christian.
"Ros, you're fired." Christian responds dryly.
Ros gets up from the table. "I must get home, I promised Gwen I would be home in time to watch NCIS with her. Grey, I will see you bright and early tomorrow morning at the office." I admire Ros and how unaffected she is by my man. Everyone else shakes in their boots but not her.
Everyone else takes that as their cue to leave and it doesn't take long before we finished saying our goodbyes in the foyer. The last to leave were Elliot and Kate and it seems Elliot is taking Kate out dancing tonight. We told them to have fun and I about doubled over in laughter when I saw Christian sneak condoms into Elliot's pocket.
Christian pulls me against him and in the distance we can hear Gail cleaning up from dinner in the kitchen. "Ana, do you want to talk in the bedroom or out on the balcony?" he asks me.
Where do I want to talk? It is a little chilly outside but if we talk in the bedroom we may be more comfortable but we may also end up making love instead of talking. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised at all if he plans on delaying the conversation completely using his sexpertise.
"Let's take it out on the balcony. We probably should grab a blanket though." I suggest.
"Good idea. You go get the blanket and I will refresh our wine. I'll meet you out there." Christian tells me as he lets me go.
Quickly finding two of the warmest throws I can find I open the balcony door to find Christian leaning against the railing, staring off over the city. I take a seat in one of the loungers and pull the other one closer beside me. Christian hears the commotion and turns and looks at me like he is searching my soul.
"Come join me," I rasp putting the lounge chair beside me with one hand while holding a throw out for him.
Wordlessly he nods and comes over, taking the blanket and sitting beside me. I can tell he is having an internal battle inside of himself and I instinctively know that he is as torn about this as I am.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask him even though I already know.
He grasps my hand but doesn't look at me. "Us. The future."
"What do you see?" I ask him timidly.
"You know, when you said not to tear down the red room, you shocked me. You left me because you didn't want to be a submissive for the rest of your life but when I said to get rid of it, you stopped me. Why Anastasia? I don't understand." He pleads with me. I can hear the fear in his voice and it hits me that he thinks this conversation is going to end with him either winning or losing me. I need to fix this.
I sit up completely and take both of his hands in mine. "I know that it confuses you. Hell, it confuses me. But there is one thing that we need to get out into the open right now. No matter what happens, no matter how this conversation goes I am not leaving you. I am so sorry for last night. I know I just ran off on you and it was wrong for me to do that. I was wrong and I promise to never leave you like that again with a few exception. The first exception, you cheat on me. The second exception, you threaten to hurt me or you hit me outside of playing. I think those are fair exceptions, don't you." I plead with him to hear me and take comfort in what I am telling him.
"Yes, those are fair exceptions."
"This is just a conversation between two lovers about sex; what turns them on and what turns them off. What each other needs. There is nothing you can say that will change the fact that I love you and I am not going anywhere." I continue.
When Christian turns to me I can see the pain in his eyes. I could kick myself for my tantrum last night. I really need to grow up and stop all that. Between thinking he got rid of me this morning to seeing the very real pain he is feeling right now I think I have learned my lesson. "Are you sure?" he chokes out.
"I am positive Christian." I try to reassure him. "Why do you want the Red Room torn down?"
"Because of her. The Red Room was all her idea. Shit, she even assisted me with picking out the paint colors and getting me in touch with the furniture builders." He spits. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he is talking about Elena Lincoln. I had no idea she was a dungeon designer in her spare time.
"Well, now that you put it that way, we have to tear it down." I agree with him. I don't want Elena hanging over his head anymore than she already does. "Would you consider designing another playroom, with me?" I ask him shyly. "One that maybe isn't so harsh." I quickly add. I never did like all the canes and the more painful implements of the lifestyle hung in prominence on the wall when the fun stuff was all hidden away. It made the room so much more intimidating than it needed to be.
Christian shrugs. "I really don't want to be reminded of her. Yes, I enjoy taking control of our love making. Leading you towards your climax but I really don't want to dominate you. I don't want all those rules." He visibly shivers. "She told me that I was unlovable. That was number one rule. I couldn't be loved and I believed her."
I get up and move to sit next to him on his lounger. This conversation is going to be so much harder than I envisioned it. His eyes glisten in the moonlight with his tears. "Baby, you are so lovable and I for one love you so very much. But I am not the only person who loves you." I try to sooth him. "I don't want what we had before. I just want to play sometimes and to be honest, I really miss the feeling of your hand swatting my behind."
He gives me a half grin. "Oh you do, do you? What is to say I don't want your hand swatting my behind?" He answers before we are looking each other, wide-eyed. Both of us realizing what he just said at the same time. Does he actually mean that?
"You want me to spank you?" I ask. I have to admit that the idea really turns me on, but only if he actually wants me to and in that moment I come to the full understanding of what Christian was preaching when he would talk about trust and consent. There is no way I would touch him like that without him wanting me to and giving me permission. That permission would come with trust and there is no way I would want to break that trust. It all comes full circle and clear as crystal.
He sighs. "Yes. And no. Ana, BDSM is the only kind of sex I have known before we started having vanilla. I was told that vanilla was boring and so convinced that it was below me only to find out that vanilla is the best flavor because what it is really, is making love. There is nothing better than making love to you and right now that is what I need. At the same time, I am in so much pain." He sobs out. "The only way I know to deal with this pain is to have pain inflicted onto me. So yes, I want you to whip this fucking pain away . Please make it stop Anastasia." He begs.
I hold him close to me as he sobs so hard I am concerned that he isn't breathing properly. I hum to him and whisper how much I love him as I rub his back. As he starts to calm down I rub his face and lightly kiss him. It doesn't take him long before he starts kissing me back and we are looked in a passionate kiss where are tongues fight for dominance. Finally we break away, both of us needing to catch our breath. When I look back at him he is looking at me with fire behind his gray eyes.
Without a word he picks me up off his lap and drags me inside only stopping to retrieve the key to the Red Room. He marches up the stair and I follow him to the room at the end of the hall. He makes quick work of the lock and he flicks on the lights. I look around as he unlocks the chest of drawers and turns on the music, jazz from the sounds of it. I eye him warily as he walks along the row of canes and whips. Finally he settles on a particularly brutal instrument, a barbed wire style flogger. He places it in my hand as he slowly strips off all his clothing, looking me directly in the eye the entire time. I am completely unnerved and completely out of my element. Once he is naked, he walks over to the whipping bench and leans over it wrapping his arms around and grabbing hold of the handles.
Looking back towards me he summons, "Come on Anastasia, whip me."
A/N: Hmmm, will she or won't she?