Lara's POV

God this is beautiful. I had been awake for about an hour. When I woke up the sun was just starting to rise and I didn't want to miss it. I pulled on Dean's discarded button down he just throws his clothes where takes them off and grabbed an extra blanket and came outside on the balcony to sit on one of the chaises. I've seen plenty of sunrises but not like this, not with my own eyes like this. The sun is lighting up the water with so many beautiful colors. It seems to be burning the ocean with its heat but the water just stays calm like nothing is happening.

Dean starts to mumble something in his sleep and I turn around to see in the window to make sure he's ok. I hate to admit this but if you can't admit things to yourself who can you? I am really happy he said he wasn't a family with them but he was with me. No Lara his direct quote was you, Sam, and Bobby but hell my name was in there too. I look down at my night gown through his button up. I have no clue what possessed Jody to make me buy this. She told me to keep it for a special occasion and for some reason when I was packing I just threw it in my bag. I hate to say that I wore it to make him notice me. I wanted him to find me pretty and not think about Lisa. I don't know if it worked but in the car he claimed he didn't love her anymore.

"What you doing up so early?" I hear has a hand comes down on my shoulder. I nearly jump out of my skin and relax when I see it's just Dean. I am still a bit jumpy but I think I am getting better. He pushes me forward and slides in behind me on the chaise and pulls me back to relax into his chest. I relax for a moment not wanting to move. He's so warm. "You're freezing why don't you come back to bed." He says has he wraps his arms around me and tries to warm me up.

"I wanted to see the sun come up. I've never seen anything like it before." I can feel him smile into my hair and we just sit there a few minutes. The boats in the water are becoming more frequent now. I guess everyone is starting to wake up and get to work. It feels almost decadent not getting up and getting ready to do something. I've never been able to just relax and do whatever I wanted. "Can we order room service again? I don't feel like going out for breakfast. I want to try out that claw foot bathtub that's sitting in the middle of the bathroom."

I feel him laughing behind me. "I don't think I have ever met someone who likes food has much as I do." He got up to look for the menu I assume but I missed the warmth behind me and I started to shiver. "Oh shit." I hear him swear from the sitting room. I laugh and wait for him to show me what's wrong. He comes back out and leans against the balcony. Without his shirt on the sun seems to glisten off of him. "I asked that guy to make us reservations for dinner tonight at that Space Needle you seemed so excited about. Well he said there was a dress code but I guess I ignored that pertinent fact and he printed it out for me. No jeans and no street shoes. What the hell. I have to dress up to eat?" He looks so offended I couldn't help myself but to burst out laughing.

"Then we will go somewhere else. You don't have to dress up." I can't stop laughing at how incensed he looks. "No, you want to go there. I'll just have to wear dress pants and a nice pair of shoes right? No way in hell I'm wearing a tie." He said muttering to himself has we went back in to the room. He came back with the menu still muttering to himself about the horrors of dressing up. I select what I wanted and looked at the sunrise one last time and go into the bedroom to pull out clothes for the day. I look at myself in the mirror and see that I still have bruising on my neck so it looks like I will be wearing a turtle neck today too. I just don't want him to be staring at it all day and feeling guilty about it.

"Dean I'm headed into the tub. Call me when the food is here." I yell has a start the water. I've never had a bath before. I have seen it on tv and movies and I really wanted to try it out. I just don't get why this one doesn't have any bubbles. "Dean can you come in here I think the tub is broken."

He comes sauntering into the tub and looks at the water flowing out of it. "It seems to be working just fine what's wrong?"

"The bubbles are broken. Isn't it supposed to get all filled with bubbles?"

He starts to laugh and digs around on the bathroom counter for a bottle and brings it over to the tub. "You have to put some soap into it for the bubbles to start. Take this and pour the bottle into it and I promise that you will have bubbles." I start to blush. How could I have been so stupid to think the bubbles just appear? He must have noticed that I feel embarrassed because he flings his arm around my shoulder and gives me a hug. "If you've never had a bath before how would you know? Just enjoy it and I'll tell you when breakfast comes." I bet Lisa would never make that kind of stupid mistake.

Once he leaves I take off my clothes and slowly slip into the water. Wow, this feels nice. No wonder people on the television seem to enjoy it so much. I feel every muscle in my body start to relax as I lean back into the porcelain of the tub and let the hot water do it's magic and I start to drift off.

"Six I swear to God if you don't shut up in there I am going to do something very uncomfortable to your body!" Azazeal yells at me. I try to stop crying and I try to force my eyes from watching the woman burning alive on the ceiling but he won't stop gloating. The smell is horrible and her cries are going to ever be etched in my mind.

No one but the mom was home and there is a baby crying in the crib. "Please get the baby! I don't ask much from you. Just save the baby." I can see the fire starting to lick the crib. The baby is screaming and it's breaking my heart. "Please Azazeal just pick up the baby! What was the point of coming here and putting blood in its mouth if you're going to let it die?"I try to move my legs but he's too strong and I'm too weak. I see the flames start to engulf the crib and the baby starts to scream harder.

"If he was strong enough he would be able to stop the fire himself. He's not worth saving." Azazeal makes my body turn away and leave the baby in the crib while I try to fight him tooth and nail to go back.

"Woah there you go. You're back with me." I feel a pair hands grab me out of the water and grab me while putting a towel around my shaking body.

"Where, who, why, huh?" Is all I can get out.

"Seattle, the Edgewater, you're in the tub, on vacation with me, and you just had a nightmare." I start to mumble the facts to myself. It helps if I can grab on to reality after a dream like that.

"I'm in Seattle. I'm in a hotel. I was taking a bath. I am with Dean. The baby isn't here. No one was burning on the ceiling. The baby isn't here." I mutter to myself. Something I say get's Dean's attention and he stops rubbing my arms with the towel.

A confused look comes across his face. "What did you say about someone burning on a ceiling and a baby?"

I start to panic. I hated those missions so much. They were horrible. I stumble over my words. "This demon, he would, well he would take me and we would, there was blood and then the fires and people died." Dean pulls my shaking body into his and rubs my back.

"It's ok just take a minute and tell me what happened."

I try to collect my thoughts but they are scattered all over the place right now. It's still too close to the dream for me to separate it from right now. It starts to piece itself back together slowly. "This demon would sometimes take my body out. It was pretty rare but when he did I would hear somethings in his thoughts about someone getting to close to finding him and he needed a different body. We would sneak into people's homes at night and he would cut my finger and bleed into babies mouths. When the mom would inevitably wake up and come to check on her baby he would throw her on the ceiling and burn her alive. If no one came to save the baby he would let them burn alive in their cribs. It was horrible. I would try to fight him and save the child but I wasn't strong enough. I could hear them crying and there was nothing I could do."

He continues to comfort me. "Hush, it was a long time ago and I happen to know that demon is dead now. We killed him years ago."

I look up at him confused. "You knew him?"

Dean's face seems to fall. "He was the one who killed my mom and he bleed into Sammy's mouth when he was a baby. It was probably my dad he was hiding from when he would take you out on missions."

I feel like I was hit by a mac truck. I try to pull away from him but he keeps his arms firmly around me. I feel dirty like I need to shower again. Why is he holding me when I helped the demon that killed his mom kill other mothers? I try to get free but he just holds on tighter and I can't hold myself together anymore and I start to cry. "It's ok. You didn't do anything wrong. There was nothing you could have done for those children. If he wasn't wearing you he was going to wear someone else."

I know my children aren't real but I can't help but imagine if one of them were the babies in the fire. I feel my stomach start to churn at the memories of it all and I feel myself start to gag. Dean must know I am about to throw up because he quickly turns me around and gets me to the toilet before I throw up all over him. When I'm done I'm cold and naked shaking over the toilet. I feel a towel being wrapped around me and strong pair of hands pick me up and carry me to the bed. He pulls the covers up around me and kisses my forehead. "Just relax for a bit." I try to stand up but he easily pushes me back down. I hear a knock on the door and I flinch. "It's just room service. I'll be back in just a minute."

He leaves the room and I hear him talk to the boy bringing in the food. Once he shuts the door and latches it he comes back into the bedroom and lays down in the bed next to me and pulls me closer to him. "They were just babies Dean. I can still hear them screaming." I cry out has I push my face deeper into his chest.

"When I was in hell there was a lady who killed her children there with me. Every day I would torture her and every day she would tell me how she killed her kids and got caught by the cops and was executed. She is one of the only ones that when I look back I don't feel guilty for hurting. That lady without help from any demon or supernatural creature killed her children so that her new boyfriend would like her because he didn't like kids. What pissed her off is that she never got to be with her boyfriend not that she hurt her kids. She was evil. She deserves to feel guilty and suffer knowing what she did. You had no choice. It may have been your body but you had no control over it. It's his guilt not yours. You can't blame yourself for something you didn't do. You are the least malicious person I have ever met. I know if you could have you would have ran into the fire and burned yourself alive saving those children. You just have to let it all go."

I can't just let it go. It's part of me. It's ingrained in every scar my body has and every memory I have. I don't know how long we have laid here but I start to calm down. The crying stops coming so hard and the tears start to dry up. He hasn't moved from the spot next to me. "Do you want to try to eat something? The food is probably cold but we can head out for the day." I shake my head yes and wait for him to move first. Once he leaves to get the food I start to put my clothes on. I doubt he ever had to worry about Lisa having nightmares likes this. How can he stand it?

We eat in silence but I can feel him watching me. He's worried I am going to lose it again. I can't eat much. It just tastes wrong after my dream. I push it around my plate for a bit and Dean gets up and gets ready. "Come on get that list of yours and let's see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves in to."

I know he is trying to keep my busy on purpose to try and distract my mind and he seems so excited about everything even though I know it's just a show he's putting on for me but I start to relax and get excited myself. We went through the Experience Music Project museum and had a blast. We both couldn't stop laughing at the exhibit on horror films. If only the people around us knew that most of the monsters were real. I had never been through a museum before and Dean said he hadn't either but he also said this was not like the normal boring places that Sam would try and force them to go has kids.

We head back downtown to the big market and there are almost too many people. It's still hard for me being in crowds in my own skin. It's like sensory overload. He can tell I'm nervous because he puts his arm around my shoulders and slows down to a slow pace and keeps people from bumping into me. There are entire stands of just food and I want to try it all. "Please can I go to the fruit stand? I've never had a raineer cherry, or an apricot" I keep looking around and I see a bunch of things I've never had before.

He hands me some money. "Get whatever you want. I'll be right back. So don't leave this stall ok?" I shake my head excitingly and pick the fruits I want to try. The man serving me seems more than happy to help me pick things out. I finish up and pay and turn around and I don't see Dean. He told me not to move from this stall but that had to be a while ago and he should have been back by now. I start to panic. I don't even remember which way we came from. I feel a hand touch my shoulder and I turn around ready to throw a punch when to my surprise it's just Dean. "So whatcha get?"

I start to dig through my bags and go over all the fruit I had picked out. "To be honest I don't even know." I saw with a laugh. His left arm is hiding behind his back and I try to see what he's hiding. He laughs at me trying to peak and finally he pulls his hand back and he's holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

A large smile spread across my face and pull the flowers to my nose and inhale. He starts to blush and he gets really fidgety. "Thank you Dean. They are beautiful."

"I felt bad. You said you had never gotten flowers before and Dandelions aren't flowers. So now you can say you have gotten them." He seems nervous like I might not like them or something. I stand up on my tippy toes and kiss his cheek and he blushes deeper. "Thanks, their wonderful."

We head further into the market and a fish goes flying right in front of me. I pause, my hand reaches back into my holster to pull my gun. Dean stops me from drawing and I notice that it's just people selling fish and throwing them around. At the end of the market there is a sign for a Creperie. "Can we eat there?" I ask pointing to the sign with the Eiffel tower in it.

Dean looks at it and shrugs. "Sure why not. I don't like French food though."

I start to laugh. "That's what you said when we went to Paris but you had no problem eating it.." Oh shit. I fucked up beyond repair now. I feel my face turning red. The nervous tears start to come to the surface on my eyes and the seconds are going by like hours.

Dean seems a bit shocked but he recovers. "You have them too." He says quietly. He grabs my hand and takes me away from the loud crowd. "Cas told me that you have the dreams too. I have them sometimes."

That was an unexpected turn of events. I thought I was the only one having them. "You have them too? You've seen the kids then?"

He looks sad for a moment then he starts to smile. "Yea I have. They are great. I mean John is just so.."

"Sweet. And Gabe and Cole they are just so.."

"Funny. And Luke and Rick they are just so.."

"Mischievous they are always getting into trouble. Then there is Daphne and she is.."

"So sweet and wants to be like one of the boys." Dean says with a smile. I can't believe he's seen them. It makes them just a bit more real to me. "They are just getting harder to wake up from. You know?"

Oh how I know. I give him a sad smile. "They are the worst and best nights of my life. I get to see them and how I could have been well how we could have been then I have to wake up and see the scars on my back or remember something a demon did with me and it hurts even more. "

I can tell that Dean is getting uncomfortable with the conversation. It's too emotional and he doesn't like to get emotional in front of people. For a second I think he might cry but he shakes it off and smiles at me. "I know what you mean. Let's get some food and head back so we can relax and get ready for dinner."

I drop the subject because talking about them is hard for me too. The more I talk and think about them the harder it is for me to accept they aren't real. We eat in silence and head back to the hotel. We have a few hours before dinner but we both just wanted to relax for a bit. We cuddle up on the couch and turn on the tv and watch it for a bit.

I look over at the clock and realize I should start getting ready if we want to be there on time. "Hey I am going to take quick shower and get ready. Do you need the bathroom?"

Dean shakes his head no. "Nope, I'll be fine. But um hey I wanted to um.." He seems a bit nervous. His hands are fidgety and he's stumbling on his words. He puts his hands in his pocket and pulls something shiny out. "I thought this would help you with your nightmares."

He hands it over to me and I look at it. "It's a charm bracelet. I had them put some charms on it. I know when you wake up you like to go over what's real and what isn't. So I thought if you could look at it that you would be able to remember it faster. It's silver which is good. But if you don't like it you don't have to wear it."

I keep staring at it but I can't seem to find the words. It does have a few charms on it. There is a space needle, a horse, a flower, and a car. I look up at him and he seems more nervous and embarrassed then before. I don't know what to say. It's perfect. I lean over and kiss his cheek. "Thank you." I manage to stutter out. I hand it to him and put my wrist in front of him. "Please put it on me." I ask him.

He takes the bracelet and I can tell he's nervous because his hands are shaking a bit and he clasps it on my wrist. I look down and I smile. "Dean this is amazing. I don't even know how to say thank you. It's so perfect."

He blushes again and tries to shake it off. "I'm glad you like it. Why don't you go get ready?" I slowly stand up and I can't stop staring at it. It's so pretty and I can see all the things I have accomplished. I've been on a vacation now. I have been horseback riding and I've driven car. I've also had my first flower. And now my first gift.