Chapter 26

Kate could taste his blood from across the room. It was pouring out, so fast, far too fast for her to heal him. She roared with pain and anger, frustration. Rick looked worried now, but he was determined. And he was dying. He staggered against the sink and Kate ran to him instinctively.

"You have no idea of the enormity of what you've just done," she whispered, then ran her tongue along the cut on one of his arms. She had to drink it, and not only that, she wanted to. After tonight, she would never taste his blood again, not like this.

"I love you," he whispered. Kate sighed.

"I know."

She drank deeply, blood getting on her face and clothes, getting on the floor. As she drank, everything that was wrong about this whirled around in her head. She was killing him, at that moment she was killing him. She was taking his life. He had a daughter, he had a family, he had so many things to live for, to be human for. She had only just learned not to hate what she was, and it was still a battle every day. She was turning the man she loved into a monster.

Rick passed out. The pain had been excruciating; looking at Kate's face had been even worse. But he hadn't had to suffer for long. He'd known she would turn him, he hadn't given her a choice. The last thing he saw was her face, twisted with worry and anger and confusion, dripping with his blood, her eyes dark and focused.

Kate tried not to let him see her terror. Because she had never done this before, she didn't even know if she'd be able to do it. She drank from him until she felt his heart slow almost to a stop, then bit hard into her own wrist and held it to his mouth. She was worried she'd gone too far, that he wouldn't be able to drink, but then she felt him suck. It hurt, she could feel his body's desperation, desperation to survive.

He didn't regain consciousness. His heart was racing, though. He was changing. He was dying. Kate grabbed him, so light and weak, and ran outside. It was a half hour run to the park she would go to - she needed somewhere with real, deep earth, but also somewhere safe. They couldn't be disturbed, he had to have the full day… She dug a hole, hoping it was deep enough, and put him inside. She had to bury herself with him. She shuddered with disgust as she pulled the earth down on top of them, but it wasn't the first time she'd needed to sleep in the ground.

And then she waited. She was perfectly still, not breathing. Rick's heart had stopped while she was burying them. She could feel his body beginning to get cold. Soon he would be the same temperature as her. There were still a few hours of night to go, hours where she could do nothing. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't rest. All she could do was lie, the earth pressing down on her, shaking with fear that he would die, that she had made a mistake, that she really had killed him…

Finally she felt the sunrise. It was with great relief that she felt her body grow heavier. She gripped Rick's hand tightly, willing him with all her unbeating heart to wake with her when night fell.

It was dark, so dark, his throat burned with thirst. He tried to breathe and got a mouthful of dirt; he scrabbled at it, trying to get out. He pulled himself above ground and scanned the darkness. He wanted to run, he wanted to run and he wanted to DRINK. He darted into the night-

A pair of unbelievably strong hands gripped his upper arms, and dark, furious eyes bored into his sparkling blues.

Kate held in a gasp. He was so STRONG.

"Do not move."

He froze.

"Do not kill anyone. Do not hurt anyone. Do not drink from any human. Do not harm any human."

He stared up at her. She spoke so coldly.

"I won't, you don't have to command me. Come on, Kate. I'm still me!"

Kate glared at him, then let go.

"Fine," she said quietly, then turned on her heel and disappeared into the night. Rick tried to go after, stunned at the speed he was able to achieve, but she was faster and he couldn't catch her. He gave up. His thirst was so distracting… He ran to her apartment. He could tell from outside that she wasn't there, and easily broke the lock of her door. She didn't have an alarm, he went straight to the fridge.

He grimaced in disgust at the blood bags inside, but he felt something else happen to his mouth. He caught sight of his reflection in the microwave door and saw two white, sharp, pointed teeth. Like Kate's, but different. Bigger. They were his, they were part of him… He grabbed a blood bag and put it into the microwave, pressing the buttons to heat it up.

Thirty seconds was a very long time.

First he noticed all the smells in the room. He could smell Kate, all of Kate, Kate, everywhere. Delicious, powerful, magical Kate. He had thought she might seem less fantastical once he was like her, but even thinking of her told him this was not the case. She was his maker now, she was his everything. She had given him life, she had given him her blood. He was full of her, they were full of each other. They would be linked for all eternity. He could smell blood too, from the fridge. He could smell the fabric of the sheets, he could smell the bricks, the tiles on the floor, the wood of the kitchen counter… He could smell his human self, the self he would never be again. He could smell cars on the road outside, and people. He could smell people, delicious, wonderful people, moving, living, breathing, blood coursing through their veins…

He could hear them too, footsteps above him, voices in different buildings, music, fighting, lovemaking, talking, shouting, singing, playing… He could hear whatever he chose to focus on. His human mind would have been confused to the point of insanity, but something had changed in his head, too. He was still himself, but he could think… differently. He could think more, process everything hundreds of times faster. He could block things out, zone in on others. It was remarkably easy to choose something and listen to that, choose one person and learn so many things about them.

Back in the kitchen, he could SEE. He could zoom in on everything, every detail, every scratch on the floor. He wanted to go outside to see just how far he could see. He felt a surge of energy ripple through his body. He wanted to run, too. He knew he was fast, but he wanted to be faster. He wanted to try jumping, flying even. He wanted to test his strength, he wanted to find out everything about himself. It was amazing, it was awesome, it was terrifying.

And he also… felt. Kate had never mentioned this part, perhaps it wasn't the same for her, but he thought it was much more likely that she felt this way too and she just hadn't wanted to scare or burden him by trying to explain it. Because he felt EVERYTHING. Just as his sense of smell, just as his eyesight and hearing had become so much more acute, so had his LOVE. His passion, every emotion. He thought about Kate and his desire not only for her but to protect her, to make her happy, was almost too much to bear. The guilt he felt for hurting her, for forcing her into something she wasn't ready for, was even harder to cope with. He had never felt pain like this, never felt anything like this. His body was eternal and had eternal, infinite capacity, infinite capacity to love her and want her…

He thought about the whole situation, everything he had done. His mind could work much faster, much more neatly. He could see the two sides of the situation very clearly. He understood why his human self had done what he had done, but he understood Kate's anger. However, there was something he didn't understand.

Kate hadn't wanted to turn him because she thought what she was was monstrous. But Rick felt none of that. His new body was powerful and beautiful and strong. Kate's warnings about Alexis were inaccurate. When Rick thought about Alexis he didn't think about her humanity or her blood, he thought about his love for her, his need to look after her, his pride, his worries about her safety… But he knew he could never be a threat to her.

He wondered why Kate had been wrong… He quickly developed a theory. Everything he had been as a human was amplified. Everything. So, his love for his daughter, his love for Kate, his sense of fun and adventure… He wondered if he would be a better writer now, or even better at poker. He wanted to ask Kate about what she'd been like as human, but he didn't really need to. He knew the answer - his confidence had been amplified too. He was sure he was right.

As if he'd summoned her, when he thought of her again he heard her coming. He knew it was her, he recognised the way she walked, the way her feet hit the ground.

And then the microwave pinged. His blood had been heating for thirty seconds. He took it out and ripped open the bag, drinking hungrily, making a mess. His shirt was already dirty. Kate pushed him out of the way to wipe the blood from her floor. He finished the bag; she took it and put it in the bin. Then she leaned against the counter and looked him up and down. She had showered somewhere and changed into clean clothes. Maybe at his place.

"You need to wash," she told him. "You're covered in blood and dirt."

"I'm sorry," he said, trying to put everything he felt into the word. Kate showed no emotion when she responded.

"I knew you would be."

"I… Do you understand at all?"

Kate bit her lip. "Yes. I understand. Where are you going to sleep?"

"I have a place."

"I thought you would have."

"Are you… Are you ever going to forgive me?"

"I don't know."

"I love you."

"Yes. You told me."

"I… I'm still me, Kate."

"I know."

And then she turned away. Now that he wasn't so thirsty his focus on her was even stronger. He needed her, he needed her with every cell in his body, every fibre of his being.

Kate could feel it. She could feel everything he felt. She could feel his remorse, deep and confused. She could feel his defiance, his belief that he wasn't completely in the wrong. She could feel his love, so warm and strong that it took everything she had not to run into his arms. She could feel his excitement, his happiness at what he was now. She was surprised. He loved it, he really loved it. He didn't miss his human life at all. She could feel him looking at her; he sent another wave of love in her direction.

She hadn't known it would be like this. She hadn't known she'd feel him like this. It made Bracken's torturing of her even more horrifying, but now that she thought about it, she wasn't surprised. It made sense. He was a psychopath. And he was gone now. That was something, at least Rick was safe from him now…

No. She was not going to give in. She was not going to let him and his stupid nice feelings and his stupid ruggedly handsome body and stupid attractive vampire scent and stupid lovely smile win her over. He was a self centred arrogant unreasonable jackass and he had done something unforgivable. He had forced her to do something she hadn't wanted to do. He had exploited her, he had manipulated her, he was a bastard and…

"Get out, please," she murmured. Rick heard her perfectly, but felt no compulsion. So it was something she could turn on and off. He didn't always have to do what she said… He left anyway, with one last "I love you," before he ran home. His new home.

It was definitely safe, light tight… He collected everything he thought he might need from the loft and took it down to the basement. Among his things was his cell phone. He had a message from Alexis.

"Are you okay?"

He didn't know how to answer. In the end he just replied "Yes". And then he… stopped. There were so many things he wanted to do, so many things he wanted to try… He didn't know where to start. And the thing was… He didn't want to do them without Kate. He had the awful feeling that he had ruined things with her forever. Maybe she would never forgive him, maybe it had all been for nothing.

If Kate hadn't known better she would have thought Rick knew she could feel what he was feeling and was using it to make her feel bad. Because he felt BAD. He was lonely and guilty and miserable. He was still an arrogant bastard, though. Even through his misery she felt a hint of defiance.

"You're such an idiot," she muttered to herself as she ran out of the door again. He'd broken that too. Fucker.

He was in the basement. She could hear him, hitting things. A punch bag. He'd bought himself a punch bag.

She dumped a cooler of blood bags on the floor.

"So you don't have to break into my place again," she said to him.

"I thought…" he said slowly.

"Really? Because in my experience you don't think. You just do, stupid, selfish, unreasonable things that hurt other people and have consequences way beyond your comprehension."

Rick decided it would be best not to answer. Kate sighed.

"Look. I'm so mad at you right now I want to rip your idiotic head off. But… I won't be mad at you forever. So stop being so damn miserable. It's going to be okay. No thanks to you. Jackass."

His smug smile made her want to- screw it. He would heal. She marched up to him and slapped him hard across the face. His smile vanished as he staggered backwards. It was Kate's turn to grin. It was the first time she'd been able to use anything like her real strength with him, and okay, hitting him wasn't really what she wanted to do but he was fine, he had bounced back already, which meant… she REALLY had to leave.

A/N: Thank you all so much for the wonderful response to the last chapter, and yay for Stana! Love you all x