A/N: Reapers, this one's for you! I swear to Merlin that I've never written such a chapter in forty minutes before, but I somehow managed it. Enjoy!
Two days later Harry sat down for breakfast and grabbed the paper that flashed into existence with a burst of white flame in front of him. He laid it on the table and looked over at Bella with an excited expression. "Xeno's been working on this paper for over three weeks. I caught a glimpse of the headline. Want to know what I saw?"
She nodded, bouncing slightly on her seat. "Tell me!"
"Unbelievable."
Her grin widened, "Open it, open it now!" He grinned at her enthusiasm, and with a deep breath unrolled it and lay it down on the table.
Wizarding World Faced With Unbelievable Miracle!
Reported by Xenophilius Lovegood.
Today at precisely 12:01am I witnessed an amazing sight. On a tip from the mysterious Artemis who fixed the Ministry Statue, I was present at the Department of Ministries accompanied by an Unspeakable who shall remain unidentified. I was taken to the room of records, and from there walked to the end of the room to a dusty, ancient book which clearly hadn't been used for hundreds of years.
What was this book you may ask, the book that lay in front of me; the dusty quill hovering above its pages ready to write, was and is the book of soul-bonds, where the couples that are soul bonded are recorded. Every name that is written in its pages automatically receives a letter and a book detailing everything about the wonderful act, but as Mister Artemis warned me, this book had been charmed to not write any names in order to save money.
I find this disgusting, but what I found out a day before this event disgusted me even more. Not only were soul bonds not just recorded for the last two thousand years, but soul bonds were prevented at birth on every witch and wizard in Britain. Blocks were also placed on several other things not excluding our magical cores, intelligence, and senses.
There are rare exclusions to these blocks, where love, power, or other such things are too strong and break free of the grip of their prisons; Artemis no-name and his lover, and Harry Potter-Black and Bellatrix Potter-Black being prime examples. Yes, Harry Potter-Black married the former Bellatrix Lestrange, who no longer exists – and before any of you readers get any ideas that Bellatrix is evil I can vouch personally that she is not. I am sure that Harry Potter-Black will make this very clear in the future himself so I will not write any more on this matter.
I performed the counter to the spell that was holding the quill in stasis, and it immediately wrote down twenty names – all of whom had the words deceased after them. These people likely never knew the full extent of their bond to one another, and were denied their love reaching its full potential. It was at one minute past midnight that the Miracle happened. I felt my magic unchain itself, my mind expand and flourish, and my perception increase to incredible proportions, and a wave of warmth and love rush through me.
The quill in front of my very eyes began scratching furiously against the book; the dust disappearing immediately. The quill didn't stop after one page, not even after two, nor even three. I watched three hundred and thirty one pages, each with forty names, twenty couples on it each, get written in front of me. I was witnessing over ten thousand people bonding with their lovers, and I cried when I saw my name alongside my deceased wife's. I had just completed a soul bond, through death, to the woman I love more than life itself. The feeling was incredible; I could feel Silphy's joy, and her love for me over the bond; I could feel her all around me and inside my heart; I could feel that she would wait for me till the end of time.
This Ministry, our Ministry, has gone too far. They have denied us, not just as witches and wizards, but as humans, our basic rights. They have stolen completion with our loved ones from us; they have ripped away chances; they have imprisoned our souls and bodies; they have hurt each and every one of us with their selfish, imbecilic ideals and previously-secret dealings. They will deny this, they will try and sway you, they will threaten you in some cases, but we must stand up. They work for us, and we are not below them. Without our support, they collapse, and we can change this world. If you are sceptical about this, even after you try wandless magic and manage it easily, then this entire newspaper edition is filled with the evidence.
The evidence is from the Ministry archives themselves; from the Goblins, yes, the Goblins; from Vampires; from werewolves; from Artemis no-name; and from Harry James Potter-Black and Bellatrix Felicia Potter-Black. Everything, and I truly swear everything, is true. I swore a wizards oath this very morning which Harry Potter-Black and his wonderful wife helped me imbue the memory of into this very paper (just touch the silver circle at the bottom of the page), that all of this is correct, and not a word of untruth is within these pages. I am alive, I still have my magic, and I am very, very, very pissed off.
Heed this Minister, and all that knew of this and didn't move to stop it: your time is up. We will fight; magic will fight. This is a Magical Revolution against all of your manipulations, illegal regimes and horrific secrets. Bit by bit we will replace you, we will hurt you as you hurt us, we will tear every secret into the light and expose you for what you are, and at the helm; a man and woman who have fought against you from the shadows, will be Harry James Potter-Black and Bellatrix Felicia Potter-Black. Burn these names into your memories, burn these names into your fear, because you will be at their mercy in the future – and after what you have done…none is left.
Harry raised an eyebrow as he set it down with a whistle. "I've never heard so much emotion in Xeno's reporting before, let alone curse words. And man you and I sound dangerous!"
Bella laughed and gripped his hand across the table. "We are dangerous."
Harry grumbled a moment, but acquiesced. "I suppose. Anyways, are you ready for the press conference?"
"What press conference?"
He grinned and tapped the article twice with his finger. "The conference that they are going to hold in order to try and prove everything in this article wrong." He saw her feral grin and sat back in his chair with one of his own. "I thought so."
"Order! I call for order!" Yelled Umbridge, and even with the use of several very powerful noisemaker spells the crowd was still in a complete uproar. The crowd was gathered in the Ministry courtyard; a huge expanse of protected ground that had taken several generations of warlocks nearly four hundred years to create – all because the Minister of the time wanted to have a flipping courtyard that fit in with all of the Ministry's existing wards and protections.
Harry had scowled at the area every single day he walked past it when he worked as an Auror; it would take an idiot to ignore the feel of dark, blood magic that flowed through the place. Once such powerful wards had been implemented, to add a new set to them separate from the main ones was an undertaking best achieved by knocking down the original structure and rebuilding. The Ministry however, in all their infinite wisdom, had once more decided on the cheap way out…even if that involved sacrifices and outlawed magic. All in all, pretty much anybody with a decent, non-bigoted, open minded head on their shoulders could see The Ministry for exactly what they were: an out-dated, power-hungry, hypocritical bunch of lunatics.
All of Phoenix was grinning happily as they threw their own insults up at the toad-faced woman, and Harry and Bella were at the very front of it with mirthful eyes and dissolving into fits of laughter at seeing the complete fury, and fear that had appeared in her expression. Their laughter promptly stopped however, when a loud crack echoed out in the crowded courtyard and a moment later a pained scream come from one of the mob. Harry felt pain sear through his tattoo and immediately pushed through to the sound of the sobs. The crowd, quite a few being Phoenix themselves, parted for Harry, and he finally came across Ted Tonks lying on the ground; blood seeping out from beneath his fingers, and Andromeda by his side. By this point the entire crowd had quietened, and Harry took a mental snapshot of the area around him before tending to the man.
"Bella, come here." She knelt down beside him and immediately begun providing pain-numbing spells around the bullet wound. Harry nodded and then just as efficiently begun administering medical attention to his wounded friend. After less than ten seconds the bleeding had stopped, and after a further twenty only a mere scar was left. Andromeda breathed out a sigh of relief, and immediately pulled the two immortals into a hug before taking her husband into her arms. Harry sensed aurors moving towards their position and instinctively touched his hand to both of their shoulders. With a slight gold flash the two disappeared, and Harry stood up once more with Bella by his side, and he was not, in any way, happy.
Harry pulled the mental scan he had done moments before treating Ted's wound, and his eyes snapped upwards when he found the source of the gunshot. Now hidden beneath the witch's robe was a pistol, but Harry knew precisely who had fired it without even looking for a face. She would be the only person he knew that would go so far as to use muggle weaponry when she could no longer resort to her magic, and he found himself looking into the familiar, smug brown eyes a moment later. The smugness was wiped quickly out of her when she found herself in excruciating amounts of pain, and she collapsed to the ground of the platform screaming in agony.
Harry had just given her the pain that Bella had pulled from Ted, and he smiled in grim satisfaction when he saw the very same wound open up underneath her shirt and blood begin to seep through. Bella was glaring at the screaming woman with just as much venom in her gaze, and none of the Ministry personnel knew what to do. The Minister herself just stood there; her mouth agape while looking at her writhing second in command; Ron was looking wildly around, his eyes afraid and suspicious; and several Unspeakables were trying in vain to trace where the source of the spell had originated.
Harry knew that The Source disliked torture, or inflicting pain in any manner really, but he could feel its satisfaction and glee at the revenge it was taking on the person who had hurt so many of its trusted friends. Hermione had ploughed through the werewolf, goblin and vampire populations with horrific laws that caused thousands of needless deaths; she had abused even the limited power she had been granted; and she had caused its first, most trusted, most loving – save for Bellatrix – friend horrendous pain. This was a person whom The Source thought deserved what she was going through, and it was looking forward to when Harry and Bella truly did snap and would exact their revenge on all the people that betrayed and hurt them.
Umbridge had finally caught sight of him and Bella glaring cruelly at the screaming witch, and shrieked out at them. "ARTEMIS YOU BASTARD!"
Heads turned to Harry; his messy blonde hair clearly identifying him, along with his ice-blue eyes, and he stepped forward before the toad of a woman could order the Aurors to swarm him. She couldn't help but shudder at the complete and utter hate in his eyes, and the dangerous pricking that ran along her spine as he spoke. "You attack innocent people; people who decide whether or not you stay in office Dolores." He waved his hand vaguely and the screaming stopped, leaving the entire courtyard bathed in a deafening silence which only he seemed to dare interrupt. He watched as two Unspeakables scuttled to the silenced woman's side and apparated away. He smirked when he wondered how long it would take them to realize that the wound could only be healed the muggle way.
Bellatrix intertwined her fingers with his then, and he smiled proudly down at her as she spoke to the harpy and her minions coldly. "My husband and I were the first people to break free of every single block you placed on us at birth; Harry Potter-Black and his wife Bellatrix Potter-Black were the second." Her eyes narrowed dangerously, and Umbridge paled at her next words. "And you really want to go up against the only four people in two thousand years who have managed that feat?"
Harry grinned at the expression on the hag's face, and quite enjoyed the puce that Ron had turned at her shoulder. He was quite looking forward to getting his revenge on him sometime soo- ah what the hell. "Mister Ronald Weasley, quite disgusted to see that you are in good health and doing well for yourself. I think I can speak for the majority of us here when I say that you'll never have your name written on the pages of the soul bond tome; you're too much of a coward." His facial hue changed to a shade of purple that Harry could only compare to Vernon Dursley, he filed away that thought for later consideration, and he spat disgustedly on the ground. "You simply stood by, frozen as your wife lay screaming in agony at your feet. Not once did you move to her aid; not once did you move a single muscle."
"Artemis would never do that to me," Bella scowled by his side, "even when I was in the weakest discomfort he shared that with me; took some of it unto himself to lessen it for me. You will never experience such devotion in your life, because you're a selfish, cowardly, stupid, immature, and thoughtless piece of scum."
There were nods and mutterings of agreement throughout the entire crowd, many of which weren't even in Phoenix, and Harry was more than pleased to see the looks of disgust that virtually every woman was shooting the furious redhead. Harry waved his hand just as the outburst was about to be voiced, and ignored the furiously moving mouth as he screamed and raged silently. He didn't however, get to Umbridge in time. "ARREST THEM!"
Harry shrugged lightly, and then vanished his robes; leaving him standing in a pair of comfortable black pants and a bright green t-shirt with the apt legend "Be careful; dumb people come in large numbers," while Bella's robes fell away to reveal Harry's favourite skirt – with black tights to boot, and a red t-shirt that stated in bold white lettering "Your town called… they want their idiot back." Harry let his eyes wander over her beautiful body for a moment, but he snapped back to attention when he felt The Paths strengthening around him as they sensed their user in danger. The Paths were a lost knowledge until Harry; a relic from when demons and angels walked the Earth and engaged in battles of epic proportions.
The Paths were the embodiment of perfection. They showed the ideal way to a goal that its user had in their mind, and if that person also had the gift of drawing The Flux then that perfect process could be achieved flawlessly. Harry was the first human in history, and the first thing in ten thousand years, to have possessed both – and to have walked the Earth with them. He called to The Flux to guide him, and felt it wrap warmly around him before taking him along The Path he had chosen. Spells were dodged with mere micrometres to spare, and at first people had the notion that he had a hell of a lot of luck. It soon became apparent however, that luck had absolutely nothing to do with it when he began delivering devastating physical blows to his attackers; moving in complete harmony with his wife that was fighting by his side.
Although she couldn't feel or use The Paths or The Flux, she could feel her husband, and she delighted in flowing with him; his magic gently guiding her and hugging her. Harry was her Path and Flux combined. The two dodged and weaved with a grace that put even the most talented dancers to shame; flowing like water around each and every attack while simultaneously inflicting single, completely crippling strikes to the threats that faced them. A Crucio brushed against one of the whiskers on Harry's chin, and he smiled gleefully as he crouched down and then burst upwards; his elbow shattering the Auror's jaw and sending him upwards for nearly a meter before he crashed back to the ground unconscious. He watched out of the side of his eye as Bella slid down into a split to dodge a bone-crushing curse aimed at her head, and then winked proudly at her when she sent her fist powering directly into his crotch.
She grinned in return as the man's eyes rolled back in his head, and then slid back to her feet with the momentum she had retained in dodging. After nearly five minutes the Aurors finally decided to stop, and Harry and Bella returned to where they had originally been standing; serene expressions present, and their fingers once more intertwined. The only difference was that now they were surrounded by the groaning or unconscious bodies of nearly eighty Aurors. He saw another twenty at the very edges of the courtyard, but smirked when he noted their pale, terrified expressions. When he looked up to see Umbridge's and Ron's reactions however, he couldn't contain his fit of laughter. Umbridge looked as if somebody had simultaneously told her that she just been confirmed a werewolf-vampire hybrid, and shoved a broom handle somewhere extremely unpleasant. Ron however, was looking at the self-styled Artemis with jealousy. Harry really couldn't help but chuckle bitterly; even when he had just seen nearly half of his entire department defeated by two people, all he could think about was himself.
He was delighted that the git had married Hermione; they truly did deserve one another. Bella hugged herself to his arm, and he smiled warmly as her breasts pressed against him. It was because of this that he left the next little speech to his beautiful wife. "So you see, my husband and I aren't even sweating. We did not use one single spell to defeat your supposed protectors of the wizarding world; it took less than five minutes to defeat all those that came forward; and it seems that the rest have soaked up your cowardice like a sponge Mister Weasley, because they are standing at the edges of this area shaking in fear."
"They are NOT!" Everybody's heads turned to the outside of the crowd, looked at the cowering Aurors, and then back to Ron with quite a few amused looks and raised eyebrows. He spluttered for a few moments, and then stuck his foot in his mouth. "It's a powerful attack strategy!"
At first it was just a single snort, which sounded a lot like Remus's, but then a snigger escaped somebody else's mouth, and in a matter of seconds virtually the entire crowd had dissolved into hysterical laughter. Harry and Bella were leaning on each other for support they were laughing so hard, and Bella looked up at him with tears of complete hilarity and amusement running down her cheeks. Harry actually had to perform a calming spell on himself…several times in fact, to stem the laughter, and even then his voice was cracking once in a while; threatening to dissolve back into hysterics. "Oh really Mister Weasley. I believe that one Harry James Potter-Black had, and still has a saying: those that break morals and trust are scum, but those who don't fight for what they believe in are even worse than scum."
Ron's face darkened once more; signalling an impending blow-up, but Harry silenced him to prevent him from being interrupted. No such luck on that front with Umbridge. "Artemis my friend," she tried in her sickly sweet voice, "you seem to be very good acquaintances with our hero Harry Potter. I too hold him in high regard, and in fact I know him quite well. Would you mind awfully just quickly popping away and bringing him here? Oh, and don't tell him where you're taking him or that I asked you to bring him here; I want to award his Order of Merlin as a surprise."
Harry was truly confused; genuinely, without a doubt, completely flummoxed. Was she kidding? Surely she couldn't seriously think that he would by such load of complete and utter bullshit…did she? He dipped into her mind for a moment, and then pulled hurriedly out before he actually scarred himself – but he had seen what he had needed to see, and right at that moment it finally hit him just how in trouble Wizarding Britain was in.
The woman standing on the terrace actually believed that he would believe her, what she perceived to be, very-genuine sounding speech, and deliver himself to the courtyard without any resistance whatsoever. His mouth had slowly been dropping lower and lower as he reached the conclusion that she had been dropped on her head as a baby…repeatedly…onto concrete, and Bella quickly shared her consciousness with his to understand what he had discovered. When she did, her mouth dropped in much the same manner. All of Phoenix received the telepathic memo a moment later, and in complete unison nearly two hundred heads all turned to the garishly pink-suited woman with dropped jaws. She was confused at first, then slowly begun to anger as neither 'Artemis' nor his wife moved to follow her request.
After another ten or so seconds Harry cleared his throat, and then stuttered his first few words. "I-wha- I mean… you can't really believe that I would buy that; even a bloody Blast-Ended Skrewt could tell that you were feeding it a load of bullshit." Her mouth dropped at the flippant dismissal, but Harry wasn't done. "Over the past ten years, and now another four months on top of that, you have been slandering the Harry Potter-Black name; forcing him down into the scum of social standing; declaring him as the next Dark Lord; declaring him as insane; declaring him as dangerous wizard and a liar…and you expect anybody here saves perhaps that red-haired idiot standing by your side – still yelling even though he has had a silencing spell on him for the last two minutes I feel the need to point out – to believe that you would forgive, and then reward him," he clicked his fingers, "just like that?"
This time her mouth had dropped open; nobody questioned the Ministry's intentions, and not only had this man and his wife just done that, but they had also disobeyed a direct request! "And you also order our arrest, not calling off any of the eighty Aurors that move to do so, and then expect we'll even consider a request from you?" Bella shook her head in disbelief, "The government now is even worse than before left this country."
"Oh," Delores piqued pleasantly, "how long ago was that?"
Bella glared at the woman; she wasn't even worthy of an answer. Far be it from the immortal feeling too important and puffed up to reply, but the toad-faced woman was truly lower than Voldemort and Rudolphus… well maybe not the latter, but definitely the first in her mind. Even though she really didn't feel like responding, she did anyway; if only to infuriate the woman further. "Thirty four years actually and even then I thought that the government couldn't get any more bigoted and idiotic." She saw Umbridge turn her head and whisper to one of the Unspeakables, no doubt to try and track down her identity. She grinned internally; they wouldn't get very far with that – she was going off the time that the real her had disappeared, and she didn't think that The Ministry kept records like that.
Harry rolled his eyes at the oh-so-subtle dig for information, and a sly grin at his wife's reply, before stepping in himself. "Miss Umbridge,"
"Minister actually."
"Miss, because you don't deserve that title," Harry replied just as quickly as her interruption, "you have repeatedly abused your power; you have killed innocents; you have ruined this world and everything that the founders of Hogwarts, Merlin, The Creator, and Magic herself stand for. And we are very, very pissed off." At that moment, with a unified thought, both Harry and Bella's phoenixes flared into existence onto their Master and Mistress's shoulders, and a gasp ran through those that hadn't seen them before…namely everybody not in Phoenix. "Phoenixes, through well documented fact and in every Ministry approved Magical Creatures textbook as well I should add, will not under any circumstances accept less than a pure and good wizard or witch as their bonded."
"Which means that we are pure," stated Bella, and Harry nodded.
"Exactly. What I find interesting is that there hasn't been a Minister whose familiar was a phoenix in over two thousand years…interesting how only after that time the blocks on us, and restrictions on the soul bonds came into existence." He saw some unsure faces, clearly none of which were from Phoenix, and shrugged his shoulders – ignoring the furious look on Umbridge's face. "Check if you'd like, but I'd suggest you hop to it – Miss Umbridge will no doubt order the…restructuring the records system for the next few days, and some of them will unquestionably go missing as an unfortunate result of this."
Harry saw Rita scuttle away and the back of the crowd and rolled his eyes; always the little glory-hound. As a parting farewell to irritate the bitch further, and to compliment his wife in front of the entire public eye, even if she didn't look entirely herself, he raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Miss Umbridge, perhaps if you answer my questions correctly I will consider your request to bring Harry Potter-Black, you seem to persistently forget the second part, to your audience." He saw the annoyance and fury wash right out of her gaze, and smirked to himself. "Okay, first question; Bellatrix Potter-Black is a wonderful woman. All the same, when Missus Lestrange entered Azkaban she had killed hundreds of people, tortured even more, and ruined families."
Harry smiled lovingly and proudly down at Bella when he felt her relief that she wasn't that woman any longer, and squeezed her hand. She looked up at him, life burning bright in her eyes that flickered red for a moment, and he kissed her lightly on the lips before looking back at the now-annoyed Umbridge. "I apologise, my beautiful wife captivates me no matter where I am – I needed to do that. As I was saying, she had done all of those things, and yet she only got fourteen years…why precisely is that?"
Umbridge's face turned white, and Harry smirked as she fumbled for an answer. He was surprised when it came as a vaguely convincing argument. "Just as you say, Missus Potter-Black is a wonderful woman. We saw that she had psychological problems, and thought that Azkaban could push the bad right out of her in that time. Apparently our method worked."
"That is actually a good answer, but at that instance, when she was put back in Azkaban for the last time, she did not have psychological problems. She was Bellatrix Lestrange, and she was insane and the worst scum of the Earth." He could see Umbridge looking at Harry like he was mad; he had just been praising the woman and now he was insulting her in the worst way possible! Bella however, could feel happy tears gathering at the corners of her eyes, and wiped them away before they could fall; that woman, that horrible, torturous woman Lestrange was never her, and to hear Harry insult that wench was making it have even less of a hold on her.
She squeezed his hand lovingly, and he smiled internally as he continued glaring at the woman on the balcony above. "She was dangerous, and she was in Azkaban within twenty minutes of her capture. That by no means is enough time to ensure an accurate physiological profile Miss Umbridge."
"Bu- but you just said-"
"I just said that Bellatrix Lestrange was a horrible person. Bellatrix Potter-Black is not."
"Semantics!" she spat angrily, but Harry shook his head seriously.
"No, it is not. Bellatrix Lestrange no longer exists…think of her as a Tyler Durden." Umbridge looked confused, and just as with many of the other confused witches and wizards, half-bloods and muggleborns leant over to their neighbours to explain what he meant. Harry let the whispers die down and then continued. "So technically Azkaban did kill the 'badness' inside of the body that once more contains the wonderful woman that is Bellatrix, but that was not your intention – don't lie," he interrupted before she could claim it as her idea all along.
She sniffed irately.
"Second question then, not going so well so far, so let's try for something easier…hmmm…" He made a show of thinking for several seconds before slapping his fist into the palm of his hand with a look of triumph. "Got it! Can a witch and wizard be immortal?"
Umbridge snorted disdainfully at him, "Immortal? Are you mad?"
"No, but I asked a question. Can I get an answer? And no, you can't call a friend or go fifty fifty…or ask the audience, because then you'd get the right answer from about two hundred of them."
She frowned at the last part, not comprehending any of it, but answered all the same. "Of course it's impossible; immortality is unachievable – even Flamel could only achieve a mere cinder of what it means to truly accomplish such a thing," she replied knowledgably, but much to her shock Harry shook his head with another sigh.
"Another lie, well I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Number three-"
"What do you mean I'm lying?" she yelled, and Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? That actually sounded like genuine surprise. Perhaps you don't know…"
The connotations were explicit; it would take Ron Weasley to miss them. Her reply was greedy, "What don't I know? Has somebody achieved it? Who are they? Where do they live? How did they do it?"
'Artemis' held up his hands and chuckled light-heartedly. "Slow down Delores; one question at a time." The Minister was so excited that she completely overlooked what she would normally consider a disrespectful use of her first name, and leant forward over the balcony to await the answer.
Harry heard Teddy beside him muttering, "Just a few inches more, come on Umbitch, you can do it," and concealed his amused snigger behind a forced cough.
"In order of asking then," Harry continued, and the woman's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets. It looked like Teddy could still get his wish. "Firstly, you don't know jack. Good computer game by the way, 'You Don't Know Jack' I mean. Second; yes, they have. Third, they are the only two, yes, stop gawping it's very unbecoming, there are two immortals walking this Earth. Fourth, they live in a wonderful litt- previously little Valley that looks amazing. It's out of this world really." Remus cracked up laughing a few meters back in the crowd, knowing just how true that last bit was. "And as for how they did it…they didn't."
"What do you mean they didn't do it?" she screeched, and Harry winced at the tone, even though she was meters above and away from him.
"I mean that they didn't do it you silly old bint. They achieved immortality, in a way, by who they were as people. They didn't create a method; the method was already there."
"What is that method?"
Harry cocked his head to the side. "None of your bloody business." He saw her face redden in fury, but smiled serenely back. "Okiedokie, last question. How old are you Miss Umbridge?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Just answer the question."
She huffed in annoyance, "Fifty eight."
Harry clapped with a smile on his face. "Wonderful, a correct answer! Now could you please tell me how old Bellatrix Potter-Black is as of this moment?"
Delores Umbridge took a few seconds to do the math, failed, and resorted to the calculations of one of the Unspeakables standing behind her. "Fifty three."
"Can you see where I'm going with this?"
She snarled back at him, "Not at all."
Harry looked shocked. "Oh, well then, perhaps my next inquiry will enlighten you. How old is Harry Potter-Black?"
"Thirt…" she trailed off and her eyes widened, "SHE'S TWENTY YEARS OLDER THAN HIM!"
Harry grinned, clapped his hands together, regretfully having to let go of Bella's to do so, but quickly returned his hand to hers. "Correct! She is indeed, I am sure however, that you were informed that the time that she spent in Azkaban with Harry Potter-Black was more than comfortable?" She frowned, and Harry put a hand over his mouth. "Whoops, apparently one Mister Weasley and Malfoy decided not to tell you about that little escapade." Her jaw clenched and she glared at Ron, who shrivelled under her gaze, and Harry snickered. "Well, all the same, Bellatrix was well taken care of with Harry; living in luxury in fact. She did however, age just as you have. After Azkaban however…"
He hummed a moment with a grin on his face, and then winked at Bella before holding quite a loud conversation with her. "Holly sweetie, would you mind popping over to the Potter-Black's house and asking Bella to join me here? You can stay once you've told her; I'll be over for a cup of tea momentarily."
He could see Umbridge hurriedly giving orders and battleplans to Ron and same Unspeakable that had provided her with the answer as to Bella's age, and smirked as 'Holly' popped away with a wink of her own and a wide smile. He turned back around, conveniently just as Umbridge finished her scheming, and smiled. "She'll be here momentarily." He mentally sent a command to all of the Phoenix members that were there, and they covertly moved nearer to the aurors before casting powerful wandless and non-verbal paralysis spells on them.
A moment later, just as promised, Bellatrix popped into existence, and it took all of Harry's willpower not to kiss her on the lips at that moment. She was dressed in her favourite dress, and his for that matter; the dress that she had worn to the Ministry Ball. She looked around, gazed lovingly into Harry's eyes for a moment, and then turned to Umbridge; barely restrained hate in her gaze. "Well this is a tidy little gathering – I'm guessing to try and appease all the severely pissed off people that don't like having their love, bodies and souls restrained," she spat, and then turned to 'Artemis' with a smile. "Holly says come back soon, and that she loves you very much."
Harry's sneer at Umbridge calmed, and then turned into a soft, meaningful smile to Bella. "I know. I feel the same way for her."
Bella took a step towards him, but then stopped herself with a muttered curse under her breath. Now she was even more pissed off at Umbridge. "Why the hell am I here anyway?"
"You're not Bellatrix Lestrange!"
The immortal turned to Umbridge, her short hair whipping for a moment over her sarcastic expression. "Gee…really? I hadn't noticed."
Harry palmed his forehead. "We've already been over this Umb-"
"SHE CAN'T BE! SHE'S TOO YOUNG!"
Harry clapped once more, with a mocking smile. "Well done, two hundred points to the Death Eater groupies." Umbridge reddened. "She is young, wouldn't you agree? This is what you missed out on because you're such a miserable old hag. Only the purest of souls can attain what Bella has, what I have, what Harry has, what Holly has, what nearly four hundred, and counting, others have. It is a testament to who they are. Oh, and stop glancing angrily at your Aurors…they won't be moving for quite some time." The red turned into a purple, and Harry was secretly impressed. "But suffice to say that Bella is beautiful, my wife is beautiful, and all of us that are pure will all stay looking around thirty until we die. That was the point in this exercise; that you're a manipulating, bigoted, stupid and dim-witted old bint; that you missed out on the most wonderful emotion that exists, love; and that this entire world needs to change."
Bella's grin at Harry turned cheery towards Umbridge. "We'll be pushing it along that road, rest assured – now come on Artemis; Holly really wants you back at our place for desert." She grabbed his arm, and with a pop that left all of Phoenix snickering and Umbridge with her jaw hanging, the two disappeared.
In another dimension Harry James Potter-Black was looking at the naked lover on his bed with lustful but loving eyes as he banished his clothes and advanced towards her. "Desert indeed."