A/N Well you guys are in luck, I've decided to split the final chapter into two parts so here's part one. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 26

"You know what hurts even more? That you'd even think for a second that I'd choose anyone else but you, like anyone could ever make me feel the way you can. That hurts, Britt, that hurts a lot."

The words echoed in my head leaving this hollow feeling in my chest as I stayed frozen in my spot. We were mere feet away from each other but with the kind of argument we were having now and the feelings swirling around us, it felt like miles. I felt so conflicted; conflicted with running back around the couch and kissing the tears from Santana's face but also conflicted with knocking her upside the head for being so damn difficult!

How was I supposed to know how and what she feels about me when she never speaks up? I know I said that I can be patient but there's a line to be drawn sometimes and she's crossed it long ago. She's sitting there telling me how she hurts like I haven't been hurting this whole time; I've been living off scraps of happiness with her and I care about her enough to be okay with that but that doesn't mean it gives her a free pass to avoid the problem. I was only okay with that because it was supposed to be a temporary thing; if she shows she's trying then I can live with it, but then there's the question of is she even trying? That guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach quickly turned into anger as my thoughts churned and before I knew it: word vomit.

"Do you not realize you're hurting me too?" I answered, my thoughts finding their way out of my head, "All of this waiting for you to get yourself together, this walking on eggshells when it comes to Dani, never knowing what's going on in your head, do you think you're not hurting my feelings too because you definitely are, Santana. I'm tired.."

She stayed quiet, either speechless or shocked judging by her glassy wide-eyed look. I didn't let the way her lip trembled stop me, just went on getting everything I needed to off my chest.

" I didn't even know about these emails! How would you feel if I was still talking to Sam or even Sophia on the side-"

"Britt, no, it wasn't like that.." She quickly rushed out, suddenly finding her voice again, "She never replied to anything I said but I just- I felt the need to keep trying." Her voice softened as she looked up to me, "That was before I met you. When I started to get to know you a little better, I suddenly didn't feel like keeping up with them anymore. I wrote her maybe twice after that, always something short and always, always, about you. I didn't write her while you and I were talking; May 6th was the last time, I swear, Brittany, you can even look!"

I just pressed my lips tight together, my chest warming because I believed her; the truth of it showed in her eyes. I bit back the smile attempting to creep up on my face in exchange for continuing our serious talk. Still, I let her words sink in before shaking my head tiredly, "Santana, the biggest issue right now is your inability to put a label on our relationship."

"But you said you were okay with our pace," She fired back, her lips swollen from her crying and eyes red, "You can't hold that against me now when you kept saying that it was okay. That's not fair."

"Because it was! It was okay the first time, I was even okay with it the second and third time, but I can only be patient for so long. I needed you to show me that you were trying but all I got was your ex getting all in my face about how you love her and she's taking you back." I hadn't realized I was heavy breathing until I found my lungs starting to burn. I blinked the oncoming tears away and tried to look as serious as I felt. I took a deep breath, attempting to steady my nerves then surprised myself by how small my voice sounded when I spoke, "Look..the last relationship I was in I was cheated on. It happened so unexpectedly. You can't blame me for being afraid that you could just toss me aside too."

"I would never-" She attempted to cut in but I just shook my head, a silent plead for her to let me keep on talking. Her parted lips shut again as she settled back, nodding slightly.

"I was hurt really bad, but you don't see me shutting myself off to the world. I'm not saying that I don't understand why you are the way that you are, we handle things differently, but I'm trying. I know how easy it is for someone to leave and I know how bad it feels to be unwanted and right now all I want to feel is wanted. I want to know that you want me, that you want this. "

"Britt.." She croaked out, her brows furrowing as she rose from the couch and moved as if she was coming my way, but I just shook my head again and took a step away. As much as I wanted her to comfort me, I couldn't have that, not right now. I willed my feet to stay rooted while I watched her frown deepen at my move, but she didn't try to come any closer, just stared back at me with watery eyes, "I do want you; no one else, just you."

"And I want you too, Santana, so much." I replied softly, the word want sounding like it should've been replaced with another four letter word. I quickly pushed the thought away and focused on the problem at hand, "That's why I need you to figure yourself out. This isn't even about Dani being back anymore, this is about me and you. I need you to understand that you are all I want, that I still want all those silly things I told you about and more, but I need you to really think about us and what this means to you because I'm tired of guessing." The movement of her tongue poking out and wetting her swollen lips, a nervous tick she has, as her eyes shifted shamefully to the left reminded me to take a breath before going on, "You know how I feel, San, I'm an open book when it comes to you. Stop taking advantage of that." Her lips parted as if she had something to say in reply but she ended up just shrinking back instead, her eyes holding my stare for a few more seconds before they averted to the floor, "I'm going to sleep in my room tonight, okay? I think we need the space, it'll be good for you." I stood there waiting for something to happen, just like always, but just as I was finally giving up and turning away, Santana spoke.

"I really am sorry, Britt.." She mumbled, her hands ringing each other out in her lap as her eyes slowly made their way up to meet mine. Her usual fiery deep browns looked sunken and dull now after all the tears, but I could still see there was a tiny spark in them. That spark gave me hope, hope that Santana was going to really change some things and soon.

I let myself smile back softly, the corners of my mouth not quite pulling up high, but it was a smile nonetheless, "I know you are." Then with that, I continued my walk into my room and shut the door leaving all my heart in the living room with Santana.

XXXX

Santana's POV

Sleep didn't come easy.

In my head, I just kept replaying the sheer disappointment etched in Brittany's facial features; her eyes not nearly as blue as they usually are, the way her shoulders drooped, how hard she pressed her thin lips together like she was trying to keep from crying. It didn't work all too well because I watched her tears fall and fall and stain her pale cheeks; I hated it. Even worse, I hated that I was the cause of it all.

I tossed and turned, readjusted my pillows, kicked off my bed sheets, laid on my stomach, laid on my back, laid on my side, counted sheep, but nothing seemed to work. Brittany's voice replaying kept me awake and so did all the things that I needed to work on. It was overwhelming to realize just how much I've been putting off and how it's been affecting the blonde, I couldn't believe that I could ever hurt her as much as I have.

I shut my eyes tight at the thought of losing her. She could have anyone in the world yet she picked me and here I am abusing that. I can't help but think that I should've done more. I should've showed her off, let everyone know that she chose me and I'm so grateful that she did, I should've treated her so much better, I should've did something instead of just winging it.

The news of Dani being back definitely rocked me too. I hadn't heard from her in so long, not one single word after she left, and now she's suddenly back and from what Brittany said, she's on a mission. I spent two years waiting for this very moment, to get word that she's come home and she still wants me but now that it's actually happened I couldn't feel any worse. I never thought the day would come that I wouldn't be happy to hear of her return, but as the image of Brittany's red eyes and trembling pout stayed fixed in my head, I realized that happiness was the last thing I could ever feel when it came to Dani.

Maybe once upon a time happiness came easy with her but not now, not after everything's that happened over these past months with Brittany. I thought being with Dani was such a great thing, but being with Brittany has opened my eyes to so much more. It surprises me to even say this, but Dani doesn't stand a chance up against Brittany.

I have to find a way to show Brittany that, that she doesn't need to worry about me straying for someone else like Sam. She doesn't need to worry that Dani would replace her. She doesn't need to worry about anyone or anything getting in the way of what we have.

Brittany is just so Brittany. You'd have to know her just to understand because words can't exactly describe how great of a person she is, inside and out. She has a way about her that people just can't resist, but it's not like me and flirting to get my way or Quinn and her Southern charm. Brittany is just a naturally likeable person; she doesn't have to trick people into falling completely in love with her.

She didn't trick me at all, I fell willingly.

Before I realized what just crossed my mind, sunlight was streaming in through the gap in my curtains and warming the side of my arm. It reminded me of Brittany and how warm she feels curled against my side, how great it is to wake up to messy blonde hair tickling my neck. Suddenly, that sunlight stung a little. It wasn't as good as Brittany's skin warming mine; it wasn't anything compared to the blonde, my beautiful, quirky, amazingly wonderful blonde.

I rolled out of bed and away from the creeping sunlight; why lay in bed when I've got so many things to figure out? I quickly changed into some jean shorts and threw on a random grey v-neck I found on my dresser and quietly snuck out my room. My heart raced as I neared Brittany's room to pick up my shoes, but frowned at the closed door.

If the door is close, that means leave me alone.

I pushed the old rule away and quickly put on my shoes, Brittany said space would be good and Brittany always has her head on right unlike me. I grabbed my keys and case-less new phone and quietly left the apartment without any set place to go.

I needed to be out in the city where I felt like myself again; walking the streets I've grown to be so familiar with, hearing the sounds that used to piss me off late at night, even the honking cars didn't seem to bother me. I walked and walked and walked until I found myself stopped at another familiar place. I let my fist bang at the door a couple times then waited patiently.

"This better be important," Quinn grumbled tiredly, her hair a nest of choppy blonde hair and eyes half lidded, before eyeing me up and down, "I see no bodily injury or handcuffs so you must be-"

"Quinn, I screwed up.." I interrupted swiftly, "Like, really bad."

"God, what's new?" She quipped then nudged the door open further so that I could enter, "I'll get the coffee started. Actually no, you get the coffee started. I have to pee."

"Yeah, okay." I nodded and headed for her kitchen.

XXXX

An hour later, two cups of coffee each, and embarrassedly watery eyes Quinn folded up her arms and glared at me, "You definitely screwed up."

"No shit, I didn't come here for you to make me feel even worse." I grumbled, wiping at my tear streaked cheeks then reached for my mug, "I don't know what to do, Q, I don't know where to start."

"Yeah, you need a lot of work.." Quinn nodded, "A lot." I glared back over the rim of my mug as I took a long gulp, "Sorry, I'm just- Santana, how the fuck do you always get yourself into these situations? There's always a girl who falls way too hard for you while you're just scrambling around to get as far away from her as possible. I like Brittany, I like you guys together, I don't want to have to pay some random chick to pretend to be your wife again or something.."

"That's just it, I don't want to do that either." I replied, suddenly feeling so overwhelmed with my feelings for Brittany, "I don't want to run from her, I want to run to her."

"Are you serious?" She asked gravely, but I could only nod, "What about Dani?"

"I haven't even seen her yet but I don't care, I just want Brittany back."

"You don't plan on talking to her or something? You've waited for her, San.."

I just shook my head, "I don't give a flying fuck what she has to say. She told Britt lies, Q, she hurt my girl..I don't have anything to say to her but fuck off."

Quinn smirked at my suddenly aggressive tone, "Never thought I'd hear that."

"Quinn, I've got to tell you something." I added lowly, "I just realized it like this morning so I haven't really over analyzed it yet and I'm sure this is crazy but-

"Jesus, Santana, get on with it!"

"Alright, alright..but don't laugh.."

"Whatever."

"Quinn, I think..I think I'm in love."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah," I breathed out, "I know."

Quinn blinked slowly, hazel eyes searching my face like I was about to tell her I was joking before they settled on the table, "Holy shit, Santana!"

"I'm scared, Q, I-I don't want to mess up..well, even more than I already have. I really don't want to lose this one, I can't."

"Wait, does she know?"

"No, I don't think so.." I mumbled sadly, "I wouldn't expect her to; I'm pretty private when it comes to that kind of thing. That's kind of the whole issue here; I can't tell her how I feel. "

"Well do you want her to give up on you?" She questioned in a clipped tone, "You imagine her with someone else? You okay with that?"

"No."

"Then get to talking, dumbass!" She exclaimed.

"I can't do that, that shit is hard. What if-"

"Santana, you're my best friend and you know I love you but I'm gunna need you to quit being such a damn punk." She rested her elbows on the table and leaned in a little, "You don't want to lose Brittany? Then quit making her feel otherwise, it's simple. She wants you to put a label on your relationship? Fucking do it, you're lucky to call her your girlfriend and for some weird reason she'd be lucky to call you her girlfriend too! Dani's back and fucking up everything between you and Britt? Tell the bitch she fucking sucks and tell her that you have the greatest person already; you don't need her flight-risk ass! Come on, Santana, you can do this."

"You think so? I mean, you think she'll accept that?"

"She just wanted you to speak up, I think you'll be find once you do. I know it's really scary, especially for you, but I pretty much did half the work for you just now." She chuckled, "All you have to do is go home, talk to Brittany, tell her how you feel, tell her you love her, then boom all your problems are solved."

"But-"

"You don't really have time for but's, Santana." Quinn replied, "You've wasted a lot of time already and I'm sure she's waited long enough."

"Yeah, you're right." I huffed, suddenly feeling quite courageous, "I'm gunna go make things right."

"You do that," Quinn smirked, eyes following me as I rose abruptly from my seat, "Preferably before work because I'm not trying to relive the Rachel Berry Break Up Extravaganza."

"For the millionth time..we weren't even dating." I grumbled but Quinn just snickered.

"I know, now go get your girl!"

I found myself smiling at the your part, "Wish me luck."

She got up too and started walking me to the door, "Good luck, San, you really need it."

"Yeah, yeah.." I sighed and turned to walk down the stairs then stopped, "Hey Q?"

"No, I'm not going to talk to her for you.."

"It's not that!" I laughed, "Just..thanks for like always talking some sense into me."

"Hey, us girls have to stick together.." She winked, "Well..you stick to girls in a different kind of sense but-"

"Oh gross, you ruined the moment!" I laughed, scrunching my nose at the image but Quinn just giggled and shooed me down the stairs, "Alright alright, I'm going. Don't think I need notice Mike's shoes by the door. Get it, Fabray!"

XXXX

The walk home was much more brisk then my stroll earlier, this time I was on a mission. I knew exactly where I was going, exactly what I was going to say, and exactly how I was going to say it. Quinn was right, this shit is simple when I wasn't so scared all the time. Then again, I'm probably just working off adrenaline and two and a half cups of coffee. Either way, I'm not ending this day with another night alone in bed and Brittany alone in hers.

Today I'm setting everything straight, righting all my wrongs, clearing the-

"What the hell.." I gasped as I neared the door of my apartment to see that it was cracked just an inch open. I swore I shut it behind me when I left and Brittany never leaves without triple checking that she's locked the door, so what the hell?

I was weapon-less as I nudged the door open with my foot, only wielding my phone and keys. If worse comes to worse, I could just throw those.

Britt? You home?" I called out, hesitantly eyeing my surroundings for anything out of the ordinary but instead of hearing the blonde's cheery voice, I heard the toilet flush. Who the hell breaks into someone apartment only to use the bathroom?"

Now that I was inside though, I grabbed the baseball bat I kept in the closet and headed for the hall. My palms instantly sweated as I took shaky steps forward. I watched the light turn off and the door slowly open.

"Woah, what are you gunna do with that!" Mercedes shrieked, ducking out of range of my wobbly swing, "Sugar! She's trying to kill me!"

"What the? Mercedes?!" I blinked after regaining my balance, "What the fuck? Why? How?"

"Brittany let us in," Sugar shrugged, emerging from the kitchen with one of my donuts squished between her fingers. I blinked slowly, attempting to understand how the hell Mercedes is in my apartment, "Oh, she's here to save Sloppy Babies."

"Yes girl, got my cape in my purse and everything!" Mercedes winked, "I thought about what you said, and you're right. I love to sing and-"

"Where's Brittany?" I cut in, "I need to talk to her, like right now."

"Oh she left." Sugar answered.

"What do you mean she left.." I gasped, turning on Sugar threateningly, "Where is she?"

"Work I guess? She said something about practice, what's wrong with you? You're so edgy, are you one drugs?!"

"No I'm not on drugs!" I snapped and slumped against the wall, "I fucked things up with her and I had this elaborate plan to get her back but she's not even here and now I don't know what to do! How do you tell someone you're in love with them but like..you've never even labeled the relationship? I've missed so many steps.."

Mercedes pressed her lips together then patted my shoulder, "They still have a piano over there, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, judging by that thick stack of sheet music over there.." Her eyes drifted off in the direction of my keyboard and notebooks, "I think you already know the answer."