Chapter 26

Nervously Kevin stares at Arnold, who was lying in one of the few beds, this hospital had to offer. Of course Elder Cunningham had gotten the best treatment available. He was a prophet after all. Arnold had been unconscious for quite some time now. Whether it was from losing too much blood, or if he had been given some sort of medication, Price didn't know, since no one working here seemed to have found the time to tell him. He couldn't blame them. It was a busy day for the hospital, with an actual shoot-out having taken place just about three hours ago.

So Kevin just sits there, silently observing Arnold's unconscious body. Connor had returned to the mission center already, to tell the others what had happened and check up on them. There really was no room for anybody else in this tiny hospital anymore anyway.

Elder Price's eyes fall unto the wound in his best friend's shoulder. It had been bandaged, but some blood was already soaking through. This was because of him. Arnold had actually risked his life to protect him from the General. Kevin couldn't be more thankful. If his friend hadn't stepped in… He doesn't want to think about what could have happened. Maybe the gunfight would have never broken out. It had only happened, because Arnold had been shot after all.

Kevin keeps on staring at the slowly rising, then falling chest of his best friend. He looked peaceful. His own heart however, was still beating fast, his mind still occupied with what happened about two hours ago. He still couldn't grasp the reality of what had happened. The fact that the man, he had hated more than anything else on the planet, was dead… it just didn't seem real to him at all.

Quite some time passes, but then, very slowly, Arnold finally opens his eyes.

"What… Where… Am I dead?"

Kevin quickly grabs his hand. A great sense of relief washes over him. His friend would be fine. He smiles. "No Arnold, you're not dead. You're at the hospital."

"Kevin… You're… alive!" Arnold announces gleefully.

Elder Price can't help but laugh at that observation. "Yeah, I guess I am."

Arnold tries to lift his upper body to hug him, but instead just lets out a surprised yelp and grasps his own shoulder.

"Are you all right?" Elder Price asks worriedly, tightening the grip on his friend's hand.

"Yeah, yeah…" Arnold smiles tiredly. "It's just kinda painful to have a hole in my shoulder."

They're both silent for a short moment.

"Thank you." Kevin looks directly into Arnold's eyes. "For being there for me, defending me against that man. I don't know what would have happened without you."

Arnold blushes slightly and averts his gaze. "Oh, come on… It was nothing really. What kind of friend would I be-"

"No Arnold." Kevin cuts him off. "It's not nothing. You risked your life. You got shot because of me. That's… something absolutely incredibly brave. Not many people would do that for someone else, not even for their most loved ones."

Shyly Arnold looks down at his hands and smiles. "I guess I did do something right for once. And I'd do it again. I couldn't let that man… hurt you again, doesn't matter in what way." He pauses, thinking. "Kevin… what happened to them? The General and his guards I mean. I only remember hearing gunshots and Elder McKinley grabbing my hand. I must have passed out after that."

Kevin frowns. "They're dead. All three of them. Some other people died in the fight as well… It was horrifying. Mafala and Nabulungi took you here when they fled. In fact they were in this room up until about thirty minutes ago when I took over to watch over you."

"Naba and Mafala took me here…? What about you and Connor? Weren't you the ones with me?!"

Elder Price sighs, not wanting to talk about what was inevitable. "Arnold… I did something… terrible." Kevin pauses and looks down in shame, avoiding Elder Cunningham's worried eyes. "I wasn't with you after you got shot."

"But then… where were you? Oh my god, did something happen to you?"

"No…"

"Kevin?" Arnold looks at him with an extremely confused expression on his face, obviously waiting for an answer.

Price would have to tell him. If he didn't, Connor would. There was no way around it. "Instead of staying with you… caring for my best friend, who had just been shot whilst saving me… I… I" His heart is beating faster now. "I went back to the general. He was still alive."

Elder Cunningham looks at him in shock. "Why would you do that?"

"And then… I started kicking him… then hitting him... He was completely helpless, at my mercy. And after I was done with that… I forced my thumb deep down into one of his wounds. I made him suffer before he died."

For a few moments Arnold doesn't answer anything. His face is blank, completely unreadable. Then he speaks up again, his expression dark.

"So what? He deserved it. And if someone had the right to hurt him, it was you. After what he did to you… You deserved to get some revenge."

"No, Arnold! You don't understand! I- I practically tortured him! And… I enjoyed it! I enjoyed his screams. It made me feel powerful… and strong... and in control. That's… wrong! That's just plain wrong!"

"For God's sake, Kevin! He – He hurt you… badly… so, so badly. You were angry. You deserved to be. What you did… it's not nearly as bad as what he did to you."

"Don't you understand?" Kevin feels tears falling down his face. "It doesn't matter whether it was justified… It doesn't matter at all! I never thought I'd be capable of something like that. To torture someone… To enjoy inflicting such pain… It's just wrong! Human beings are not supposed to do that to one another! And I wouldn't have been capable of doing something like that before I came here! I would never have been able to enjoy something so horrible, so twisted! But now… I can! And I did! Now I am the kind of person who leaves their best friend behind to do something likethat… and enjoys it!

Do you know what that means? That means I've changed… That I've been changed by him! I'm not who I used to be anymore! Old Kevin wouldnever have… The General might be dead, but he won! He made me be like this!" Kevin lets his face fall into his hands and cries. He hadn't realized this was how he felt, until the words had left his mouth. But it was true. It was so true. He wasn't himself anymore at all. His mind simply didn't belong to him.

He suddenly feels two arms around him. Arnold had actually lifted his upper body and was now hugging him tightly, despite his wound.

"I am sorry Kevin." He sobs. "I – I don't know what to say… You know that I'm not so good with words." The hug tightens even more. "But I don't want you to think that way!"

Kevin embraces his friend. "But it's true." He whispers silently. "I've changed. I'm broken."

"No! You're not. You're still you. And just look at how much you have recovered already. That took so much strength. But you did it. Arnold lets go of Elder Price again, looks directly into his eyes and adds: "Yes, what happened to you did happen and it does leave an impact. And yes, maybe you've changed. But it still does not define you. You are so much more than that. And I know it sounds cheesy, but I really do mean it."

"You're not just saying that to make me stop crying?"

"No absolutely not."

"Thank you." Kevin whispers and wipes away a few tears. "To think that you just said you weren't good with words."

"Well…" Arnold grins. "I did found a new religion after all. So I must be doing something right in the talking-department."