Twenty-Six

"Ed?"

He heard Olivia's voice calling from their bathroom and assumed she was fresh out of her shower. Checking in on Noah who was enjoying his day off with a waffle in front of his latest Lego Star Wars DVD, Ed made his way into their bedroom and peeked in the bathroom door. Olivia was standing in a towel, revealing the significant weight loss in a way Ed hadn't really seen lately, but he shook it off. Her face looked concerned as she studied her shoulder.

"Whats wrong?" He asked, coming to stand next to her, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"I have this bruise," she murmured, fingering the spot gingerly and showing Ed. "I have no idea where it came from…"

Ed moved the her other side and looked closely at the spot, his breath hitting her neck and sending shivers down her spine. "Sorry," he rasped, before leaning down to kiss at the bruise and standing back up, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his nose to hers. "Have you been taking the iron pills?"

"I'm trying," she said, before admitting that she wasn't remembering as regularly as she should.

"That's likely part of it," he said. "I'll try to help you remember."

"Maybe I need one of those old lady pill boxes," she chuckled, but not in a humorous way. Ed pulled her closer.

"Nah," he said. "You just need your husband to step it up."

Olivia reached up and ran her fingers along Ed's defined cheekbones, closely observing his features. "I don't know what husband you're talking about, because mine has stepped it up more than I can even explain."

"Yeah?" Ed asked, smirking and raising his eyebrows at her, signaling that he wouldn't mind her continuing as they shared a brief, semi-normal morning moment.

"Yeah," she whispered, standing on her toes and placing little kisses starting at his jaw, moving all along his face. "He's." Kiss. "Absolutely." Kiss. "Perfect."

Ed let out a growl before covering her mouth with his, kissing her deeply and urgently. Olivia sighed into the kiss and melted into his chest, allowing him to devour her in that moment. Lightly gripping his ears, she held his head in place, demanding that the he continue until they needed air.

Parting with light smack, Ed took a deep breath before placing more chaste kisses on her lips and eventually opening his eyes. Her sparkle was still there.

"God I love you," he said, still kissing at her lips, then moving down her neck. "So much."

"Mmmmmmmm, Ed," she moaned softly, loving the feel of his lips on her body.

"I can't get enough of you," Ed rasped, sucking at the spot where her neck met her shoulder and allowing his hands to wander under her towel, lightly tickling at her hips and sides.

"I need you," she whispered, desperate for more of his touch and feeling like her body was burning with a fire that she hadn't felt in several months. "Please."

"I'm right here," he said, not taking his lips off of her shoulder and using his foot to shut the bathroom door out of habit, reaching out blindly to turn the lock. "I'm right here."

"Wow…" Charlie said breathlessly, her body slumped with her back against a wide windowsill that overlooked the large body of water. "I can't feel my legs."

Trevor snickered, his face still buried in her neck as his tongue flicked at her sweaty skin and his fingers tracing light circles on her lower back.

"Mmmm, Trev?" Charlie moaned.

"Hm?"

"That…feels good and all, but everything's still…a little sensitive."

"Sorry," he mumbled, stilling his hands and ceasing movement with his tongue. He moved to where his chin rested on her shoulder and his eyes slowly opened, focusing on the scenery out of the window. "And you thought we would get bored on a rainy day."

Charlie let out a laugh but made no attempt to move from the window and Trevor's arms. "Thank God baby girl still takes long naps…"

"I'm surprised you didn't wake up up."

Charlie playfully slapped his arm and leaned back a little, trying to catch a glimpse of Trevor's face. "Love you," she said quietly, kissing his lips before slowly peeling herself from his grasp.

"Love you too," he said, his eyes staying on her body as she stood up, wavered a little bit, laughed it off, then headed back towards the bedroom.

"Gonna shower," she said with a wink, "maybe check on Lizzie and join me?"

Trevor's smile grew and his blue eyes lit up. "On it."

She watched as he disappeared into Lizzie's room, across the hall from the expansive master suite that the cabin had. Humming to herself, she went and haphazardly reached for a suitcase and opened it, planning to root around for an outfit. Her hands landed on a large pair of tennis shoes, signaling that she had grabbed the wrong one. Laughing to herself, and thinking just how mind-boggling her romp had been just now, she was about to put it away when a little box fell out.

Charlie froze. It looked like a ring box. Hesitantly, she stored the suitcase again and reached down to pick up the dark brown, wooden jewelry box. Turning is around in her hands, she debated whether or not to open it. A pit formed in her stomach, knowing what it was but also not expecting it. Ultimately deciding to not open it, and wait for Trevor to get ready to talk to her about it, she was getting ready to shove it back into Trevor's shoe when he walked in.

The couple stared at each other for a while, Trevor's eyes wide as he realized what Charlie had discovered, and hers curious, and also a little scared.

"I, er, how'd you find that?" He finally asked, unable to think of anything else to say at the moment.

"Um," she was suddenly nervous that he would be upset, so she scrambled to come clean. "I wasn't snooping. I just grabbed your suitcase by mistake, and…you scrambled my brain earlier. Twice," she added with a little smirk, causing his cheeks to flush. "So I didn't realize until I grabbed your shoe…and this fell out. I didn't open it."

"Hey," Trevor rushed to reassure her, cupping her cheeks in his large hands. "It's okay. I'm not upset. Just…stunned." He paused to collect his thoughts. "I…well…I didn't mean for you to find it. In this way. Right now."

"Is it…" her voice trailed off, unable to finish her question, but Trevor knew what she meant. Taking a deep breath, he reached out to take the box, opening it and showing it to her. Charlie let out a gasp, her eyes widening at the ring.

"Yeah," he said. "I was out with Lizzie a while back, and this was in the window. It was, still is, perfect. And, I know you aren't ready. But I had to get it."

Charlie was silent, but she no longer looked afraid so Trevor decided to keep going and really let her in on how he was feeling.

"You're it for me, Charlotte," he said, reaching out and stroking her face. "And I'll wait forever if I have to, but I really really hope that one day, you'll let me put this on your finger."

"I…" Charlie stumbled over her words, knowing she needed to say something but terrified of it being the wrong thing. She went with honesty. "I don't know what to say?"

"You don't have to say anything right now," he assured her, closing the box and placing it on the dresser behind him. "I…I'm sorry you found it."

"I'm not," she whispered. Trevor's eyes widened. "I may not be ready right now. But…I can't imagine my life without you. And…I'm trying, Trev. I promise you I'm trying."

"Hey," he said, pulling her closer to him and placing his forehead against hers, making sure they were still eye to eye. "I know you are. I'm trying too. It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Charlie let out a little whimper and a tear escaped down her cheek. Trevor quickly kissed the little droplet away and pulled her tightly into his chest, swaying back and forth.

"Maybe," he began, his voice hesitant but also confident. "Maybe before we leave, we can…try to talk more? I want you to talk to me, Charlie. I want to be here for you, in every way I can. But you've gotta let me in, baby."

"Okay," she said quietly, much to Trevor's surprise.

"Okay?" He repeated, making sure he heard her correctly.

"Yeah," she smiled. "Okay. But…shower first?"

He grinned. "Absolutely."

Charlie began to make her way into the bathroom, but stopped and turned around, winking at Trevor who was watching her every move and having picked the ring box back up to put it away.

"Hang onto that ring."

"Okay No," Ed said, looking over his shoulder and pointing to the card for him to play. "Play that one."

Noah triumphantly laid the card down. "Uno!" He exclaimed, his eyes twinkling at his mother and his smirk, seemingly identical to Ed's, growing.

"Uno, huh," she said, twisting her lips and deciding her next move. She played a wild card in hopes of picking the color he didn't have. Ed and Noah watched her carefully, the tension mounting at the table, before she declared her choice. "Yellow."

"YES!" Noah yelled, tossing the card and pumping his fists into the air. "We win, Daddy!"

Ed gave him a high five and kissed the top of his head, before looking at his wife who wore a mock frown as she sat back in her chair dramatically.

"I need Charlie back to even out this fight," she grumbled playfully. Noah just smiled even more.

"But me and Daddy ALWAYS win," he exclaimed, causing the adults to laugh.

"You really do," Olivia said, shaking her head and winking at Ed. "Another round?"

Ed got busy cleaning up the cards and placing them in the battery operated shuffler when the doorbell rang. Puzzled, Olivia eyed him and noticed he didn't even flinch.

"Are you expecting someone?" She asked, still confused and not wanting to just open the door if they hadn't invited anyone over. Ed just shrugged before meeting her eyes. Her smile grew. He had invited someone, and apparently he wasn't telling her. Standing up, she ruffled Noah's hair and moved to the door, wrapping her purple cardigan further around her body. She inspected herself in the mirror, not worried about answering without a scarf on her head, and slung the door open, jaw dropping at the sight.

"Nick!" She exclaimed, immediately pulling him inside and wrapping him in a hug. "Wow. What a surprise! I…when did you get into town?"

"Last night," he said, holding onto her a little longer before letting her go and pulling Rollins, Jesse, and Zara in behind him.

"Zara! You've grown so much!"

"Hi Olivia," she said sweetly, handing her a bouquet of flowers and hugging her waist. "These are for you."

"Dey FLOWERS!" Jesse explained, shadowing every move of the older girl. Amanda and Nick laughed.

"Come on in," Olivia said. "Noah! Come meet our guests!"

Noah came galloping in, crashing into Olivia's side as he was initially shy in the presence of Nick and Zara. Jesse, however, was not.

"Hi, Unc!"

"Why do you call him Unc?" Zara asked in confusion. The adults went through introductions and just as the kids were getting comfortable, Ed came wandering in to join the group.

"Hey Amaro," he said, reaching out to shake his hand. "Glad to have you out here."

Pleasantries out of the way, Ed took everyone's coats and stored them in Noah's room before coming back out to join the crowd in the living room, taking his seat right next to Olivia and placing an arm around her shoulders. The kids had already gone into the corner where Noah's car village was set up, leaving the four adults to catch up.

"When's your next treatment?" Nick finally asked, breaking the ice on one of the real reasons he had flown across the country with his daughter.

"Next week," she said, her voice not revealing any sense of nervousness or apprehension. "Only two more left."

"Going okay?" He asked, before shaking his head and smiling sheepishly. "Well, maybe that wasn't the best wording."

Ed's hand gripped Olivia's shoulder a little tighter, but she just smiled and comfortably answered.

"Its…going," she said honestly. "I have good days and bad days. Some really bad days. But, overall I think I'm pretty lucky so far."

The room was silent for a bit, Nick taking a real good look at his longtime friend and former partner. Her face was slimmer and her usually rosy and olive toned skin was more pale with a hint of yellow the allowed her freckles to show more prominently. There were dark circles under her eyes, more defined by the patchiness of her eyebrows and lashes. But he saw the light still in her deep brown orbs, and Nick found it reassuring. She was still the Olivia Benson he remembered.

"Cancer is gonna be real sorry it decided to mess with you," he joked, and the room shared a little laugh.

"Damn right," Ed murmured, kissing her head and keeping his lips there. Olivia squirmed at first, unsure if it would make Nick uncomfortable given his history with Ed, but he just smiled and leaned back in his chair, perfectly at ease with the situation. "It's still relatively warm out. Was thinking I'd throw some burgers and brats on the grill here in a bit."

Olivia looked up at him with a smirk. She saw right through him, trying to get more meat into her diet.

"Sounds great," Nick said. "We picked up some salads at the deli on the way in."

"And I got some seltzer," Rollins chimed in, knowing that often that was what Olivia was wanting with meals.

"Sounds good to me," Olivia responded, suddenly hungry and ready to share a meal with her friends and family.

While Nick and Ed hung out by the grill, sipping on beers and trading old cop stories, Olivia and Amanda worked on putting a salad together at the kitchen island. Noticing her friend seemed tired, Amanda offered to hang out inside with her under the guise of "prepping" even though most of what they brought was ready. They transferred potato salad, macaroni salad, and a Caesar salad into serving bowls and matched utensils, before Olivia sat back and let out a yawn.

"How ya really doing?" Rollins asked, wiping her hands and taking a sip of her soda, eyes focused on Olivia.

Olivia sighed and rubbed her forehead, internally debating how to answer. Her instinct said to brush off Amanda's question and assure her that she was fine, but for some reason she hesitated. Perhaps it was because of her growing worry about Charlie doing the same thing. So, in an effort to put that karma into the universe in hopes she was rewarded, she answered honestly.

"I've had a little more energy recently," she said, "but still not a lot. My iron is low, which is why Ed is pushing the whole hamburger thing."

"They got you on supplements?" Rollins eyes widened a little bit in surprise at Olivia's straight forward answer, but she recovered quickly, honored to be given a chance at being her confidant again.

"They do," she responded, popping a piece of yellow pepper into her mouth. "But, I'm not great at remembering to take them. Doing better, though. Pretty sure that's why I have this burst of energy, because I've taken them more consistently over the weekend."

"Energy is good," Amanda said. "You look pretty good."

"Well, anything was better than the last few times you saw me," Olivia said, raising an eyebrow and watching as Amanda gave her a sympathetic look.

"You understandably had a pretty shit go," she responded, not missing a beat, and patting Olivia's arm. "You know I'm always here, right?"

"I do," Olivia said, giving her friend a light, semi-awkward side hug. "You've proved it a lot recently. Especially with Charlie."

The women sat silently, sipping their drinks and picking at the salads, before Amanda spoke again.

"How is Charlie?"

Olivia hesitated, causing Amanda to scrunch her face up in worry.

"Liv?"

"She's…" Olivia paused, picking at the napkin a little bit, before shaking her head and looking at the ceiling, trying to hide the sudden and unexpected onslaught of emotion. "I don't know," she finally said, her head falling a little as she shrugged her shoulders. "She just won't talk to me."

"Oh, Liv," Amanda sighed, shaking her own head. "I think she's worried about you. And she doesn't want to put anything else on you, until you're better."

"But that's the thing," Olivia argued, her voice suddenly hoarse and full of emotion. "I'm her mother. I don't want her to hide. It's…killing me…to think that she may be struggling so much, and I can't reach her."

There was a pause, until Olivia sipped her drink and exhaled. "But then again, maybe she's actually doing okay? I've…I feel like I've lost my instincts with her."

"There's a lot happening right now," Rollins assured her. "It's…understandable. This kinda struggle. And, Charlie has me. And Trevor."

"She's talked to you?"

Now it was Amanda's turn to pick at her napkin. She'd spent the last few weeks debating on whether to tell Olivia about Charlie's emotional outburst with her when they returned from Manhattan.

"Amanda?"

Finally deciding that her fear of Olivia's wrath was greater than her fear of Charlie being upset about being ratted out, she went for it, prepared for the backlash.

"When y'all got home from the city? I talked to her for a bit. And she said something…that really stuck with me. Still kinda bothers me."

Olivia's stomach dropped. "What was it?"

"She said, basically, that it didn't matter what she did, or how hard she tried, she was still a perfect victim."

Olivia's body froze, but she couldn't control the tiny whimper that escaped as she took in the information. "Oh, sweet girl…"

"She still seeing her therapist?"

"I think so," Olivia responded, her head beginning to spin. Not only had that line gutted her, but now she wasn't even sure how often Charlie was seeing her therapist. "I…I feel like I don't know anything right now."

"It's okay, Liv," Amanda reassured her, rubbing her back a bit. "That's why you have us. Let us help you. Charlie's strong as hell. She'll be okay."

"She is," Olivia said, nodding and swallowing hard to keep her emotions in check. "And she will be. But…she needs me."

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