Chapter 26: Chapter of Life
APOV
My hands trembled as the echo of my knock sounded on the door.
I waited.
I wondered briefly if they would ignore me. Pretend to not be home. There was no telling what they thought of me now. I couldn't even imagine what Edward must have said to them; but it was sure to not be good considering no one had come to school all week.
I knocked again.
This time an envelope fluttered to the ground.
I hadn't noticed it before; it must have been shoved into the door jamb and my knocking shook it loose. Or I was just unobservant.
That was likely considering my thoughts were otherwise preoccupied.
I picked up the note, feeling its weight in my hands, ready to place it back where it had been, when I saw my name written elegantly across the front.
It was Edward's handwriting.
My hands shook as I already knew what was inside.
He had left.
This was his goodbye.
I sat down slowly feeling as though a hole had just been punched through my chest. I had been so willing to make things better. So willing to open up about everything.
My hands trembled as I stared at the paper nestled on my fingertips.
My mind whirled with many thoughts.
How did he know I would come?
Why?
Where did they go?
When did they leave?
Are they really gone for good?
Is this my fault?
And the most poignant thought of all
I thought he loved me.
Apparently not.
A teardrop on my hand startled me.
I was crying and hadn't even realized it.
I wanted to crumple the paper in my hands. I wanted to not allow him the chance to have the last word. I wanted to burn the note, spite him by not reading what he had to say.
Surely that is what this would be? His last words to me.
It would be so final.
But if I didn't read it, if I burned it, how would I really know for sure that he is really gone?
But then again, did I really need to read it know what my heart was already certain of?
Logically I knew I couldn't be certain of anything, but I felt it.
Why else would he leave me a note? A note here of all places?
Because he was saying goodbye. Leaving it here meant I would only find it by coming to look for him. And for what other reason would I come here unless it was to look for him?
I pulled myself to my feet; resting a hand on the door that once seemed to be the entrance to a whole new side of life I wanted nothing more than to be a part of. Now it was closed to me.
"Edward," I whispered. "I know you're gone, but I just want you to know… I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it before."
The wind carried my voice away.
Realistically I knew the words would be lost, but I hoped somehow they would find him.
I gave the door one last glance and then headed back.
My chapter of life here was over.
Don't hate me?
I know; what a teaser of a chapter.
So should she read the note? Keep it for a rainy day? Burn it like a vengeful lover? What are your thoughts?