All I Can Do

"What the shit?" Was the only thing going through Joker's mind as he clambered through the crawlways in the Normandy. The Collectors were onboard the Normandy; his ship, his baby! No way, no fucking way were they going to take it. Even if it meant unshackling that damned AI.

Joker had promised Jane that he would be fine without her and her squad on the Normandy. Well so much for that promise.

Damn it his knees hurt too! Why, just why did they have to make these spaces so small?

By now, Joker had made it to engineering. He started to climb up the stairs but stopped as a shadow loomed across the wall in front of him. He was sure the Collector would hear his heart beat hammering in his ears but thankfully it exited with its cargo in tow. Joker tried desperately not to think about what that container must have inside of it.

"Engineering is clear of hostiles. Proceed immediately to minimize chances of detection." EDI instructed him. Joker stepped up to the console the red lights indicated.

As soon as he approached, EDI continued, "Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed."

"What? What about the crew?" Joker disputed.

"They are gone, Jeff. The Collectors took them," she answered.

"Shit," was all Joker could manage to say.

He was alone; the last one left on the Normandy again. This time though, Shepard wasn't aboard to save him.

"Good," he found himself thinking. "At least this time if I die, it'll end like it's supposed to; me going down with the ship, and her living to save the galaxy, one evil alien at a time."

He proceeded to the main drive console as EDI locked down engineering. With a single push of a button, Joker gave EDI control of the ship.

"I have control," was the last thing Joker remembered EDI saying before he was flung back onto the floor from the acceleration.

As he lay there he thought about Jane. What she was doing right now and if she knew what was going on. Joker thought some part of her must know. She had already had a bad feeling before leaving the ship. Now that Joker thought of it, Shepard had had the same feeling before the Virmire mission. She had told him so right before they disembarked.

Instantly, Joker's mind was filled with 'should haves.' He should've paid attention to her instincts more, should've talked to her more, should've let her know how glad he was that they were friends; should've told her how he really felt about her…

Joker let out a groan and leaned forward. He wasn't entirely sure if he was merely flung to the ground just seconds ago, or if he had passed out for a time at all. Very slowly he started to stand up. He could hear the engines running and sense the movement of the ship through the floor. He assumed that meant that the Normandy was out of danger.

Thinking of Jane he said, "Send a message to Shepard's shuttle. Tell her what happened."

He started to walk away but suddenly the pain from his knees from crawling through the ducts caught up with him. Joker let out another groan and sunk back down to sit on the floor.

"Message away. Are you feeling well, Jeff?" EDI responded.

"No," he sighed, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "But thanks for asking."

Not being able to do anything else, Joker simply sat there, with his face in his hands, and waited for the shuttle to return.

"Can't you make this go any faster?" Shepard yelled.

"It's all I can do, Commander," Kasumi replied. Miranda had received a message from EDI that the Collectors had attacked the Normandy and everyone onboard was gone. Garrus thought Shepard had nearly fainted before Miranda hastily added, reading from EDI's message, that only one crew member had survived and it was Joker.

Ever since, Shepard had been frantic to get back to the Normandy. Kasumi was doing all she could to make the shuttle go faster but there was only so much you could push the engines to. Garrus had never, not once, seen Shepard this worked up over anything.

The closest he could think of was after Ashley had died on Virmire but still, this was different. Back then, Shepard had been shocked into an almost catatonic state. This, this frazzled, panicked Shepard was nothing compared to that. For once, Garrus was at a complete loss for what to do to help her, afraid that anything he said would simply cause her to panic more.

"As soon as we're back onboard I want everyone to head to their stations and report back to me with what they find," Shepard instructed her squad mates.

By now they were within visual range of the Normandy.

"EDI, where is Joker located?" Shepard asked.

"He is located in main engineering."

"Thanks EDI," the Commander replied. They were almost completely docked and Shepard jumped off of the shuttle before it had completed landing. She took off at a sprint, leaving all of her weapons behind, and climbed up the emergency ladder to get to engineering; not bothering with the elevator at all.

Garrus heard Tali mentioning that she wanted to head to engineering as well to check the engine status and Jack mumbling that she'd help her out. The turian reached out and gently grabbed both of their arms.

"I think you better wait a bit on that. Let Shepard talk to Joker first," Garrus instructed. The two ladies simply nodded in agreement and the three of them proceeded to help clean up the cargo bay.

Joker could hear the sounds of someone making their way towards engineering. He slowly stood up, but leaned against the wall for support. He was still pretty sure he wasn't able to walk that far without someone's help.

The pilot heard a loud clang and what sounded like someone tripping right below him. He wondered why they hadn't used the elevator but whoever it was, was already sprinting up the stairs. He turned his head just in time to see the most frantic looking Shepard he'd ever seen running towards him at full speed, before she slammed her way into him with a full blown kiss on the mouth.

Joker should've have been shocked at what was happening and perhaps he would have been under normal circumstances, but with the near death experiences he had just had in the last hour or so, and the idea that life is goddamned gift, he responded with equal, if not more, enthusiasm.

His hands were instantly around her, one wrapped around her waist, and the other in the mess of hair that used to be a bun. Jane's arms were thrown around his neck and she was nearly crushing him into the wall behind him but he didn't care. Every bone in his body could have been shattered and he would have died happy right there.

After a minute or two, or maybe an hour, Joker really wasn't sure, they broke apart. Both of them were breathing pretty heavily and still holding onto one another; Shepard leaned her forehead against his, let out a sigh, and said, "You are never allowed to do that to me again, understand?"

"My bad; next time the ship is invaded, I'll let the aliens know that I really can't be in any more dangerous situations so if they would, please, find another ship to commandeer, that'd be great," Joker replied, grinning despite himself.

Shepard moved her head back slightly to look at Joker with a raised eyebrow.

"Although if this is the greeting I can expect when coming out of perilous situations, I may have to encounter them on a day to day basis," he added with a quirk of his smile.

Shepard was too tired to even laugh, but simply let out a shaky sigh, shook her head and smiled.

"Commander?" Miranda's voice came over the intercom. "We've all regrouped in the conference room and are awaiting your orders."

"We'll be there in a minute. Tell Mordin to prep a first-aid kit for Joker too," she replied. Then she turned to look at Joker, furrowed her eyebrows, and started searching the floor for something. Joker was about to ask what when she leaned down, picked up his hat, and placed it back on his head.

"I don't even remembering it falling off," Joker exclaimed and accepted Jane's arm to help him start walking. The two made their way up to the conference room in a comfortable and contented silence.

A/N: This scene, right here, is the exact scene I imagined since the first time I even played the game. In fact, I had this scene written even before I decided to write an entire fanfiction about these two. And no, this isn't the end of the story! We're only just beginning!

Now go kiss someone. Doesn't matter who, just go kiss them because everyone deserves a good kiss now and then!