I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT!

The Underwear Zorro

(Emmett's POV)

I grin as we walk inside the Seattle Super Walmart. Dreams really do come true! I thought as I entered the store with my friends. I was like a little kid in a candy store, so much fun things to do here. My mind was just racing with devious plans, made by yours truly.

"Okay so I need some decorations, candy, and anything Halloweeny related" Alice announced stepping in front of all us.

"Halloweeny? Is that even a word?" Seth questioned scratching his head.

"No Seth it's- never mind" Alice mumbled shaking her head "come on guys, split up. Edward, Rosalie and I will get the costumes, Nessie you go with Jacob to get the candy; while Seth, Maggie, Bella, and Emmett go get the food" Alice instructed.

"Wait! I'm not leaving Bella alone" Edward intervened. My sister shot him a glare

"Edward I'm a big girl, I'm fine on my own" she remarked. My sister doesn't like it when Edward can get very over protective. Sure, she likes it that he's protective but to a certain degree. When he treats her like a china doll since she's pregnant, she doesn't take that lightly. My sister hates feeling needy and helpless, even if she really does need help.

"Actually, you go with them" Alice exclaimed "Come on Rose. Here's the list of food for you guys"

"Alright" Bella said grabbing the list from Alice making a quick skim over it.

"Bye Em" Rosalie said before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I notice Alice sigh a bit before running off with Rosalie. I feel bad for the little pixie, she must feel so empty inside. I wouldn't know what to do without my Rosie. I would just lose it. She helps keep me in tact.

Jacob and Nessie then headed off to the candy part of the store leaving me alone with the others. I then felt a big ass grin creep onto my face and I begin to rub my hands together deviously.

"So let's get this show on the road" I announce turning around so I can face the others.

"Emmett Swan don't get any ideas in that thick skull of yours" Bella warned looking at me with a disapproving glare.

"Come on Belly, let's have some fun!" I exclaim.

"Emmett no" Edward said.

"Well I'm having fun whether you like it or not" I state as I head over to a vacant shopping cart.

"Robin! Robin's Friend! Bat girl! Eddie boy! Get in the chariot! The bat cave awaits!" I declare tying a nearby towel around my neck so it's like a cape. I also grab a pair of underwear nearby and use it as a mask.

"Emmett I'm pregnant, there is no way I'm risking my unborn child in that thing" Bella said "plus take that off your head, you don't know where's it been"

"Fine, don't have any fun" I huff at my sister while she rolls her eyes at me "How about you and Eddie boy go get the food while Seth, Maggie, and I go have some fun. By the way I like wearing underwear on my face!"

Bella and Edward looked warily at one another before turning to us.

"Fine but please do not get us kicked out" my sister pleads.

"Don't worry Baby Bell" I smirk "come on my fellow comrades"

"Should we even be doing this?" Maggie questioned as she got in with Seth.

"Nope" I then begin to push making us go all around the store trying to avoid Rosie, Alice, and any of the others. I don't need to witness Rosalie's wrath tonight. That won't be fun, that's for sure.

"Emmett man watch out" Seth warned as an employee came into view. When the employee spotted us he began to storm over to us.

"Shoot!"

"Turn around!" Maggie cried out.

"Aye Aye!" I then begin to speed towards the other way to see Bella and Edward.

"Hey Baby Bell! Eddie boy! What up!" I yell running towards them. They both look at me with wide eyes. Next thing you know I crash into them, bringing them into the cart with me.

"EMMETT!" They both screech.

"Sorry, I'm getting chased!" I wince.

"I'm getting squished!" Seth grumbled underneath everyone. Seth was now at the bottom of the cart with Maggie on top of him, Edward on her with Bella on his lap.

"Catch that shopper!" all the workers yell from behind me.

"Plan B, Seth engage ammunition" I order him.

"I can't you big luge! If you didn't notice I'm on the bottom of this dog pile!" Seth growled.

"You're a cop! You can get arrested for this!" Bella scolded at me.

"Yeah, that's if they catch me" I wink as we speed through the store.

"What is that suppose to mean?" She questioned.

"I don't know- Oh hey look Nessie and Jacob!" I exclaim pointing at our friends while they looked through the different candy "Hey guys!"

"Emmett?" Nessie questioned with a puzzle look.

"Well that's our cue!" Jacob called out as they began to run after us as well.

"Emmett Swan! You are the biggest idiot on the planet!" Edward cried out.

"Yeah I know, I still don't know how I'm a cop" I sung as I speed through the store. I just needed to get outside and it's freedom from there.

I turn around slightly to see a bunch of Walmart employee's are still chasing after me and they're getting close. Oh Crap.

"Bella! Do something to get them to stop following us!" I instruct my sister.

"Emmett-"

"Baby Bell! Do something!"

"Fine, I can't believe I'm doing this" she mumbled giving in. She then uses her foot to knock down a nearby stack of cans causing all the employee's to trip.

"Oh yeah! That's my baby sister!" I chortle looking at what Bella just did "nice job there baby sis, didn't think you had it in you"

"Yeah well me neither, now run Emmett! Before we get caught!" she yelled at me.

"I taught you well" I snicker as I begin to push the cart faster "You'll never catch me alive coppers!"

"Employee's at two o'clock!" Seth yelled from the bottom of the shopping cart.

"Which way is that!?" I frown scratching my head.

"I don't know but they're right in front of you dufus!" Bella screamed. I look to see the employee's have made a barricade to prevent us from escaping.

"Stop!" everyone screeched in the cart not wanting to crash.

"Looks like you have no other chose" one of the employee's snickered as I stopped right in front of them. Suddenly I felt like one of those cowboys in an old western movie, ready to face down the enemy at noon.

"Never! Like Han Solo once did in Stars Wars! Charge at the enemy! For Narnia!" I scream as I charge at the workers. My cart races right past the employee's as they scatter everywhere. I then reach the doors and soon we're in the parking lot.

"Ow!" a man cried out in pain all of a sudden. I look to see I rammed into him. Oops!

"Sorry sir!" I yell back as I rush over to the car not minding the man. I needed to get out of here.

"Get the hell out! Get into the damn car now!" I scream at my friends as we all pile into the van. I then step on the pedal and zoom away from Walmart. We were about to make the first light when I noticed the car was seemingly quiet.

"Did we forget something?" I ask wincing slightly to see the heads shake in a yes. Damn it!

"Um Emmett, you forgot about the others" Edward pipped up "including my sisters and Rosalie. You do know you are in for it"

"Like when he means in for it, like Rosalie and you won't have sex for a week" Seth added.

"Yeah, I know" I sigh making a u-turn back to the Walmart. Sure enough Alice, Rosalie, Nessie, and Jacob are all waiting at the front of the store.

"Get in!" I yell at them as Seth opens the side door of the van. I then hear sirens and begin to freak out.

"Damn it! Now! The coppers are on our trail!"

"We're getting in you big luge! May I remind you I'm pregnant!" Nessie hissed.

"Dude you're a cop too" Jacob points out.

"Shut up Jacob! Now's not the time!"

Once everyone is into the van I then stepped on my petal (once again) and rode the shock wave out of here.

"Emmett Swan!" Rosalie growled and I winced. I know that tone. It's Rosalie's "I'm so pissed off with you we're not going to have sex for a week" tone. I am SO in for it when I get home.

"I know I'm in huge trouble, aren't I?" I sigh and Rosalie nods angrily.

"Now go to K-mart, we didn't get a chance to buy any costumes, candy, or food because of your little shenanigan" Rosalie snipped at me.

"By the way, your punishment from me is I get to pick out our costume" Alice sung with a smug look.

"Just slap me silly" I mumble as I turn to go into K-Mart.

"That's what you get for causing havoc in Walmart my dear bear" Rosalie chimed "by the way no sex for a week or any video games"

"Whoomp there it is" Seth snickered under his breath. I growl at him before turning my attention to my fiancé.

"But Rosie-"

"No buts, that's what you get Emmett" Rosalie chides. I groan while the others snickers. This was going to be one very long week.

"By the way get that underwear off your face" She mumbled "you have no clue if those are used or not"

"Fine" I grumble throwing it behind me hitting Seth in the face.

"Ak! Gross!" Seth whined "Emmett!"

"Suck it up" I mumble.

"Hey where did the employee's go when we went back for you guys?" Bella questioned once they finished telling me my punishments.

"I don't know, I think they went to go get some man Emmett crashed into earlier" Alice shrugged "probably nothing"

"Now come on Emmett, k-mart, and you better behave" Rosalie told me. I groan as I park the car. As I said, very long week.

I sigh as I slump down in the couch of the coffee shop. Rosalie sits down next to me, still pissed. These next couple of days were going to be difficult; I have to wear a really dumb costume, I can't play any video games, and to top it all off no sex.

"So Emmett do you like your costume?" Alice asked me with a smug look on her face as she danced over to the couch.

"Very funny Pix" I snap taking a sip of my coffee bitterly.

"It's not that bad Emmett" Bella giggled.

"Yeah we'll you're not going to be the one dressed up as stupid Dora the Explorer. I wanted to be a Power Ranger, but no I'm Dora the fucking Explorer" I rant.

"No offense Em, either way you'd be in a silly costume" Jacob pointed out.

"No! Power Rangers are awesome!" I whine immaturely.

"Guys! Look at the news!" Maggie exclaimed cutting us off. We turn around to where her finger is pointing at the T.V. It was none other than yours truly with a shopping cart on the T.V.

"Yo Seth!" I yell out to my step-brother "turn it up!"

"In Walmart today a man was pushing a buggy with a few people in it. He was wearing a pair of black underpants on his head and a towel around his neck. Employee's were running after them for disturbing the peace in the store, but instead this masked figure saved the day. When running out of the store they rammed into a Mr. Laurent Hunter, a thief trying to steal over a thousand dollars from the store. One little boy who witnessed this all recalls the mysterious man as 'Zorro'. Well it looks like we owe this Zorro a huge hand in the end for saving the day"

No. Freaking. Way. Everyone just looked at the T.V like it was on fire or something.

"The guy I knocked into was a criminal!? Wow I saved the DAY!" I cheered jumping up and down.

"You mean we?" Seth corrected me but I rolled my eyes at him.

"It was me pushing the cart" I remark with a grin "hey Rosie can I-"

"No...but you do get a kiss my big hero" I then felt her lips hit my cheek and a goofy smile formed on my lips.

"But can I please-"

"No Emmett, you're still punished"

"Oh Emmett what are we going to do with you?" Bella snickered causing us all to laugh. Looks like my devious plans have a positive outcome for once. That's right, no one messes with Emmett or should I say Zorro.

Leave it for Emmett to cause this much havoc in Walmart. I know, insane chapter. Well I hope you liked it, as insane as it was. Anyway please review and love you guys :)