We All Have Secrets Part 2

Present

Korra! Open your eyes!"

Someone was talking to me, but I was too weak to answer her back.

Why wouldn't she just let me sleep?

"Kuvira why won't she stop bleeding!"

That voice.

Asami?

Aren't we in bed right now?

I could feel my lips try to tug into a smile. I didn't care I lost the bet because, in the end, I found something better than just another conquest.

But wait my arms are cold and the smell of her hair is gone… I can only smell the ocean.

"It's her meds. That idiot, she knew better than to go out on the cliffs."

Three years ago.

On the outside, I seemed strong, fit, and full of life, but my body was fighting a constant battle. The fight wasn't against cancer, at least then I could be angry at something, but the fight was against my own body.

I had something called an autoimmune disease.

It all started one weekend when I felt sluggish. It was as if I couldn't catch my breath and my body seemed to become weaker by the second. I had definitely stayed up too long playing video games and the headache pounding against my head was none stop.

The only thing that made me feel better was drinking water. If I didn't know any better I would say I was hungover, but I hadn't touched the stuff in months.

I stayed in bed that weekend and even after ten hours of sleep each night I still couldn't find the strength to get out of bed.

That following Monday I decided to woman up and go to work. There was no reason for me to stay in bed. I wasn't sick. I did, however, have a small deep chest cough, but I didn't have a fever.

I wanted to tough it out like my father taught me, but as I stood there at the counter of my father's small shop I fainted for the first time in my life.

I could still see my father's scared expression as he yelled my name. Everything was so muffled I didn't understand what had happened till I realized I was in my father's arms. He had picked me up and ran out of his sports shop and taken me to the urgent clinic nearby.

I felt better after sitting down, but they still wanted to do blood work which led to a CT, and the CT concluded I should be rushed to the hospital.

Apparently, both my lungs were filled with clots. Not just one, but many clots.

I was lucky to be alive. I was lucky to have survived the weekend with symptoms already present. Yet I felt so unlucky that in my twenties I had something that could never be cured.

I had grown up wondering why I had migraines, why at times my vision seemed to blur or that I couldn't think straight. I was always told it was stress, too much caffeine and eventually I just called it a "bad day." In fact, it had been the signs something was wrong, but even if I had voiced my concerns the doctors wouldn't have known to run the specialized tests I needed.

Those specialized test found that I was positive for lupus anticoagulants. A disorder that makes my blood clot very easily and the way the doctor described it was that my blood thickens and becomes slushy as it travels throughout my body. Without blood thinners, I would be at risk for other pulmonary embolisms, strokes, heart attacks and the list went on, but by that time I had stopped listening.

After my diagnosis, I tried to live life as if nothing happened just had to take extra pills, extra trips to the clinic, I couldn't eat many greens, but hell who likes greens anyways! It was the side effects of the medication that changed my life.

The side effects included pain in limbs, back, head, chest, heart palpitations, and I felt them all. I also had to be super careful. Any bump turned into a bruise and any cut wouldn't stop bleeding for what seemed like forever.

From those side effects, there were times I couldn't get out of bed and had bottles of pain medication throughout my house. I had lost hope after weeks of pain and felt as if I would never be the same again.

It took a few weeks before I could even climb a flight of stairs, and with each small accomplishment, that hope came back to me. The hope that even if I'm not the same I can still accomplish my goals. Even if I had an accident and the meds that save my life would be the cause of my death I would live without regret because at least I lived.

Few days ago

"Fuck Korra!"

I walked through the sand over to Kuvira as she stared at the two women stepping out of my condo.

"What?"

"Seriously, two? How do you have the stamina for that?"

"Training. Lots of it."

I sat with her at the table facing the beach where she had a breakfast spread for both us. I shoved some fruit in my mouth before she handed me my bottles of medication.

"Well, at least you have me here to keep you alive."

I laughed.

I didn't want to feel like this disease had a hold of me so I made jokes about it. As long as I took them I would live and it was always easier to joke about death than to really deal with it.

"Yup I definitely don't feel like dying today. I'm sure I'll get a new set of girls tonight," I said with my cocky grin.

As we sat there eating our breakfast waiting for the guys to wake up I saw a woman sitting on a beach chair staring out at the waves.

Her hair was raven black and her skin was a smooth porcelain. Definitely a tourist. I was a tourist too, but it always made it easier to know she too would leave this place to some distant land.

"What do you think about her?"

I heard Kuvira groan.

"I don't think that one will like you hitting on her when her boyfriend just walked away."

"Never stopped me before," I said playfully.

"I'm just saying it might not turn out so great Korra."

"Give me 24 hours and I'll have her moaning my name."

"Deal and if you lose you have to pay my tab at the bar one of the next nights."

I looked at her like she was crazy.

"Kuvira you can drink a whole bottle of liquor without getting wasted."

"Exactly."

"Fine same for me and I will be getting wasted on your dime."

That was how I met her. Asami. A woman who I began to learn wasn't easily swayed by my charm.

I could see how she reacted towards me, but she never fully opened up to me.

Something in those beautiful emerald eyes captivated me.

After the first few drinks at the bar, I knew she was different.

"You met your match Korra."

I looked confused at Kuvira after I had told her what happened earlier that evening.

"My match?"

"Yup, a woman who can resist you," Kuvira said as Wu and Iroh agreed.

"Not many can. You said her name was Asami?"

Baatar seemed more into the conversation than he usually was. He sometimes thinks I'm trying to suffocate my feelings about almost dying with meaningless sex.

The thing is that is exactly what I'm doing.

One day I will either have a stroke or a heart attack and I will die. There is nothing I can do about it. It doesn't matter how hard I train or how well I take care of myself that is the truth of my illness. It would be even more complicated if I ever decided I wanted kids.

So instead of thinking of the future and the truths I would have to face I drown myself in the present.

"Yes," I said finally remembering he had asked me a question.

The thoughtful look on his face peaked my interest, but I figured he would say something if it was necessary. At the moment, I would enjoy our evening bonfire and booze.

Watching the fire sparkle in front of me and taking in the waves, sand, and being surrounded by my best friends I knew life couldn't be better.

At times, I did find myself staring at my friends' faces trying to memorize everything about them. I would wonder how their lives would turn out, their futures. Kuvira will have strong and very smart kids with Baatar.

I can even see Kuvira taking them on her trips strapped to her back. She was such a free spirit.

I sometimes wondered what my future would be like…

Movement down the beach caught my attention and I felt myself began to smile.

Asami.

I began to walk towards her, but the expression on her face stopped me.

I had seen hints of it at the bar, but now I truly saw it. Pain. Heartache. Emptiness.

I knew all those emotions and I also knew when they were that close to the surface you wanted to be alone.

I was about to turn back around when I saw two men behind her, staring intensely at her.

She was walking towards another party and I felt slightly better knowing she would be around other people when she stopped.

Instead of entering the safety of numbers and well-lit beach she began to walk around into the darkness.

I felt my gut clench.

What was she thinking?

My feet were moving on their own and I was getting closer when I saw the men stop her at the darkest end of the beach with no one else around.

Her shoulders were stiff and she seemed to be looking around for an escape.

Fuck that, these guys aren't going to hurt her, not when I'm around.

"Asami! There you are!" I yelled as I watched the men take a step closer to her.

The look of relief in her eyes told me everything as she answered.

I hadn't expected her to be so open, to be so real, and the things she went through… Wow, she was even more amazing than I thought and was the strongest woman I had ever met.

Hearing her last name, I knew exactly who she was and I had been extremely impressed by someone from such high society to be so humble, so human. After her story…she had truly shown me how beautiful her heart was. Like me, she was struggling and living the only way she knew how.

I could show her a different way. I could show her the happiness of the present and maybe she could show me the happiness of a future…

I shook the idea out of my head as I looked at my phone. It was early morning and I was sure Asami was tired.

I took her hand before I led her back to her condo. I looked back one more time and saw Kuvira's raised eyebrow and knowing smile.

Walking back to the condo I knew I could probably win the bet. I could easily push and give Asami the comfort she was probably craving right now, but I couldn't.

Not like this.

Not after getting to know who she really was.

Fuck the bet. She's worth more than a night of drinking.

"Have a good night, Asami."

I pulled an old shop card from my pocket. It was the easiest way to give her my number without being awkward.

"If you need me just call my cell on the card."

I heard the door open and shut as I walked back to the bonfire and like I expected I heard exaggerated gasps from the people around it.

"Wow, that's a first," said Wu.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I guess everyone was right. She was my match."

"I say she has you on her hook instead of the other way around," said Kuvira as she snuggled a little deeper into Baatar.

I shrugged again as I took another beer and stared into the fire.

Kuvira was right. Asami had me feeling things I didn't want to think about.

She makes me want more. She makes me want a future. Would Asami be in that future I don't know, but now I feel like I must have one.

A tear slid down my cheek.

Am I asking for too much? Do I even deserve it?

I heard buzzing coming from my nightstand.

The sun was way too bright and I covered my head with my blanket before blindly reaching for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Korra, it's Asami."

I nearly fall out of the bed when I realized she had actually called me.

"Oh! Hey! What's up," I probably sounded stupid but pushed it behind me when I heard her cute giggle.

"Well Bolin and Opal, Baatar's brother-in-law and sister, had bought tickets to go snorkeling, but when they found out Baatar was in town they decided to spend the day with him and Kuvira. They gave me the two tickets and Kuvira said you were dying to go snorkeling. So, would you like to go with me?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes knowing Kuvira was trying to be a good wingman. She knew I wasn't allowed to do anything that might cause me to get hurt… Well, snorkeling couldn't be that dangerous.

"Yes, I been wanting to go, but everyone keeps wussing out on me."

I could almost hear the smile in her voice as she answered.

"Ok, I'll meet you in an hour."

I hung up and quickly got up to get changed into my swim suit and a wrap. I got all my stuff into my bag and began to head out.

"Shit."

I almost walked out the door without taking my meds. Luckily Kuvira had kept my room stocked with snacks and left my meds by the door where I would see them.

I popped the pills with some time to spare.

As I entered the main entrance to the condos I saw her.

My mouth fell open. She had on a burgundy bikini top with matching bottom and see through cover around her waist.

Her small bag was slung over her shoulder as she looked around. Her beautiful green eyes met mine and I automatically licked my lips as we walked towards each other.

"Ready? My driver is waiting outside."

All I could do was nod as I began to follow her to the car.

I had expected a normally packed boat with other tourists, but I soon realized this wouldn't be a normal snorkel.

We were walking towards a beautiful yacht with two crewmen waiting for us. One looked like the captain and the other must be the snorkel instructor.

"Good morning, Ms. Sato. Are you ready to board?"

She took his hand as he helped her board the boat.

"Yes, Hiro. Thank you for preparing everything so quickly."

"No trouble, Ms. Sato, we will also have lunch prepared below deck after snorkeling."

"Thanks, again."

I felt weird taking the captain's hand.

I was not used to this type of treatment.

The captain took our bags and Asami led me to the deck as the crewmen prepared to leave the marina.

She laid out her cover and sat on top of it as she closed her eyes and raised her head towards the sky.

I stumbled a little as I sat next to her.

In a matter of moments, we were moving and the breeze was moving through our hair.

"Korra, isn't it so beautiful?"

"Yes," I said but I wasn't looking out into the light blue ocean, but at her.

She turned and noticed where my gaze was.

She looked back towards the ocean and I couldn't help but smile at the small blush I saw on her cheeks.

I laid back exposing my toned abs to her and as I expected I saw the glance she gave towards them.

I could already feel my breath deepen even without contact, but I wanted her to touch me. Badly.

She too laid back and I felt as if electricity sizzled through my body when the skin of my arm made contact with hers.

She was so close. I began to reach out with my fingers and grazed hers.

I held back the smile when I felt her hand move and her fingers finish intertwining with mine.

I felt like a kid. How could I be so happy to just hold someone else's hand? How could my heart beat so erratically for such a small thing?

I hadn't realized forty minutes had passed till I felt the boat began to slow.

She lifted her body not letting go of my hand and began to lean over me.

I held my breath as her hair draped over me and her eyes looked intensely into mine.

"I think we're here?"

Just as I couldn't fight the urge to close the distance between our lips the snorkeling instructor steps onto the deck making Asami turn her head towards him.

"Ok, ladies let's get our gear on."

If Asami hadn't looked so excited I would have thrown him off the boat for interrupting what could have been a long-awaited kiss.

It ended up being lots of fun. I showed off a little as I dove underwater to touch the bottom and swimming back up grazing her body ever so slightly each time. They were almost innocent, but we both knew those grazes held deeper meanings.

We saw lots of fish swimming within the coral and as we traveled back to the marina we stopped at a sandbar. It was incredible how we were in the middle of the ocean yet I was standing there with my feet in the sand.

Asami's little screams as a small stingray would sweep by her feet made me laugh every time. It also warmed me to the core as she clung to me and hid her face in the crook of my neck.

That was the first time I got the hint of jasmine. It had to be her and even the smell turned me on.

We both were exhausted as they drove us back. Even though the yacht was on the smaller side, the inside was beautiful. Beyond anything, I had ever experienced on a boat.

We sat together intimately as we ate the lunch they had prepared for us.

We were definitely a lot closer than we were before and it was interesting how easy it was to be that close to her. We were like magnets. I moved she moved, and vice versa, always needing to feel connected.

When the driver brought us back to the condos I didn't want us to go our separate ways.

"Me and the guys are having a BBQ tonight if you would like to join us?"

She smiled as if she too didn't want our day to end just yet.

"Yes, that would be lovely. I'll see you in a few hours?"

"We will be on the beach. Invite Bolin and Opal if they aren't too busy."

First I was grilled by Kuvira for all the details.

"Korra, you're acting differently around her."

I brushed her off as I moved away from her to check myself one more time in the mirror.

"I'm being me Kuvira that's it. This isn't a chick you can get in bed with just a few sweet words. You got to sweep her off her feet."

It felt slightly wrong to say it the way I did, but I didn't know how to convey my feelings. I didn't how to say this was more than a fling, more than me just drowning out the sorrow I feel in my heart.

How do I tell her for the first time I don't feel the pain anymore? The pain in my muscles aren't there and I wonder if it's because I'm actually happy?

"Whatever you say Korra, but remember this little game you're playing comes to an end in two days. Can you handle that?"

I felt my chest tighten but hid it away.

"Of course. I always do, don't I?"

She looks at me through the mirror and I can see the slight concern on her features.

"You do, I just don't know about this time."

"Shut it, Kuvira and let's go have a cookout," I said turning around and hooking my arm into hers.

The cookout was one of the most fun outings we had this trip. Bolin and Opal were able to make it. Asami was beautifully dressed like always and again we found ourselves orbiting around the other.

I noticed a difference in Asami from when I first met her. That pain that seemed to always be under the surface was gone. Her smiles seemed to reach her eyes and her laugh. God, her laugh was so enchanting.

I catch myself touching her constantly and brushing her hair back. Our eyes meeting would send shivers down my body.

I wanted her more than anything in my life and I was going to make a move.

I was walking her back to her condo after everyone else had also left when she stopped before reaching the door.

"I would really like it if you came in," she said softly.

I was surprised because I was ready to be the one to initiated it.

"Sure," I said huskily.

As the door shut behind me our lips met for the first time. I didn't know if it was me that reached for her or her pushing me against the door, but what I did know was that we both wanted this.

Her lips were so soft against my neck and her moans of pleasure were so alluring my body trembled at the sound.

"Fuck," I moaned as I loosen the straps to Asami's bikini and her beautiful breast fell loose in front of me.

I placed my hand onto one as the top fell to the floor and our lips joined again.

"Bed?"

She managed to say as I bit onto her lip and felt my shorts slip down my legs.

"Yes."

She took my hand and rushed me to the other room. She was already practically naked except for the shorts that covered her swimsuit bottoms.

She slowly unzipped it in front of me as I held my breath at her beauty.

She walked towards me naked and my hands instinctively went to her toned stomach. It arched underneath my touch as her body pressed hard against mine.

My fingers trembled as I reached down taking off the little clothes I still had on as she grinded and lightly moaned into my ears.

Each touch, each sensation was something I had never experienced. I had never let anyone have me, take me, ravage me as I was letting her.

She shattered my world and I knew she had ruined me.

Her warmth against me was a reminder that everything wasn't a dream.

I held her tight as I took her sweet smell into my being. I wanted to stay here like this forever. I didn't want this to end and the truths of my life come back to me.

This would probably be the last time I hold her like this, the last time I get to feel my soul complete, the last time I would get to be selfish and have more than I deserve.

She moves in her sleep and as I stared at her sleeping face I realized that Asami's true beauty radiated from her soul.

"Good morning," she says groggily.

I kiss her nose lightly.

"Morning."

She yawned as she got out of bed.

I felt a nervous twitch as I remember my meds, but I didn't want to leave not like this and I didn't know how to explain why I needed to leave.

Luckily a knock on the door cut my panic thoughts.

Asami left the room but quickly returned.

"Everyone is having breakfast at the café and they invited us."

I send a silent 'thank you' to Kuvira knowing this was her doing.

"Yeah, I better go get changed," I said jumping out bed and taking her into my arms and giving her a deep kiss.

It would be so easy to let this keep going and drag her back to bed, but the nagging feeling in the back of my mind allowed me to pull away.

"I'll see you in a few."

Before she could say anything else I quickly made my exit and went to my condo to change and take my meds.

Breakfast was awkward and it wasn't awkward because Asami and I had sex, but because everyone else also knew we had sex.

I guess the breakfast invitation and probably seeing our clothes scattered in the doorway was the indicator.

Their eyes felt piercing, but I didn't allow it to bother instead I leaned over taking her ear lobe between my teeth. I felt her shutter lightly before I spoke softly.

"Want to ditch the nosey people and head to the beach?"

"Sure."

We were heading down a different part of the beach that had several cliffs on it and in the distant I saw cliff divers.

It would have been something I would have ran towards, but now I only felt fear. This fear was new to me because I was never scared of anything before, but after I got sick… I learned to fear things.

"That looks exhilarating!"

I heard Asami say next to me as she tugged me towards the cliffs.

"It does. Are you into cliff diving?"

She laughed.

"No, but I always wanted to try."

I looked at the cliff and it didn't look as high as the ones I had dove from in the past.

"You should try it. Isn't it your last day here?"

She looked sad for a moment as she nodded her head.

"Ok, but you have to go up there with me."

I gave her my cocky smile.

"Of course."

My legs trembled slightly as we walked up the slippery rocks to the cliff's edge.

She began to take off the clothes she wore over her swimsuit and handed them to me.

There were several guys up there already and honestly, I didn't like the look of them, but I knew we wouldn't be hanging at the top for long.

I held her hand as she looked over the top of the cliff and assessed where she wanted to land.

"Ok, I think I can do this. Are you going to follow me?"

I shook my head.

"If I told you I was scared would you like me less?"

She laughed the beautiful laugh she had.

"No, I don't think I could like you any less. Well, meet you on the beach and wish me luck!"

She released my hand as she turned towards the water. She stood there for a moment almost frozen.

I put our stuff down and was about to approach her when she jumped.

I rushed to the edge to watch her dive almost perfectly into the water and was relieved when I saw her head almost immediately pop up.

Her yells of excitement reached me. I couldn't enjoy this, but watching her was definitely worth it.

I was about to pick up our stuff to head down when one of the guys stepped in front of me.

"Stop being a little bitch and follow your girl. Or does she need a man to show her a good time."

My fist collided with his face before I could restrain myself.

A second later I felt a shoulder ram against my side throwing us both towards the edge. Between trying to get him off and slipping on the rocks I was falling closer to the cliff than the guy who hauled us over.

I only had a second to prepare before the impact of the water knocked the air from my lungs. A sharp pain stung through my leg before I lost consciousness.

Present

Asami

"Baatar go get the emergency bag now!" I heard Kuvira scream as she held a shirt over the gash on Korra's leg.

There was so much blood and it wouldn't stop.

"I don't know what happened…"

Kuvira looks up at me.

"Don't panic Asami, it's not your fault. Someone pushed her over," she said nodding towards the guys Iroh was at the moment beating.

"We saw it when we were walking up. Someone said something to Korra and she punched the guy and his friend tackled her and they slipped on the rock causing them to fall over."

I stared at the large cut that started at her knee and nearly went up to her hip. So much blood.

"But why won't she stop bleeding," I knew I sounded panic, but I couldn't help it as I watched the shirt soak through with blood.

"Korra takes a very strong blood thinner, so her body can't stop the bleeding."

Just then Baatar arrived with a red bag. He pulled out some packets and began opening them.

They looked like gauze and Kuvira removed the shirt and began to place them into the deep cut followed by wrapping bandages tightly around her thigh.

"Ok, we got to get her to the hospital."

Iroh was back and picking Korra up. Kuvira took my face within her hands making me look into her eyes.

"The gauze I used has clotting reagents in it and it should help with the bleeding, but we have to go right now."

I nodded as she pulled me along with her.

"Did she lose too much blood?" I heard myself croak.

"…I'm not sure Asami."

Running with Iroh I noticed how pale she was and how even after shoving gauze into her open cut not once did she flinch.

It was my fault. Korra should have never been on the cliffs. I should have noticed when Korra fell that she hit a rock underneath the water. I should have gotten her out faster, but now it was all too late and it was my fault.

End of Chapter Notes

I hope enjoyed the chapter.

EM ;)