Day Thirty Seven, Continued
*Chapter Dedicated to always faithful and very first reviewer, Kikudog6!

"If you're going Jade…I'm coming with you."

Fury and sorrow still running through her veins, lacing them with her guilt that she had broken her own promise to her dear best friend, Jade's fists automatically clenched at her sides, and one's fingers curled tighter around the hilt of the gun she had pulled from its prior place in which was, as she had seen many people do beforehand, tucked into the back of her pants. She glared at the girl in front of her, steely gray eyes flashing in her anger and glassy with her tears. She wanted so desperately to wipe them away, given that she was never one to openly cry in front of people beside Beck and…Cat, as that would soil her reputation she had managed to build up around the emotionally vulnerably side within her, but she couldn't bring herself to do so currently. It was as if crying was a sin to Jade (oh honey, you do it all the time an imaginary voice taunted, her inner demons and devils), especially in front of the girl that had spoken, but she was crying for her losses; at this point, her care level was slowly degrading.

She hadn't even known how to react to the statement so bluntly enunciated and though Jade's usual, cold demeanor was surely still there, with a pinch of sickness and an overwhelming lamentation, her lips remained pressed into a firm line and her stood, rooted in her spot, the words upon the tip of her tongue yet no matter what, try as she might, she could not utter a single one of them. Who was she to deny this person coming along with her? The more the merrier, right? Wrong, her interior devil spoke within the back of her mind, the more, the bigger the risk. Go alone.

And so Jade, though never one to follow orders or someone else (or in this case, a something or someone that was a figment of her violent imagination; something that had always pointed out her flaws and landed her in a dangerous situations), followed her conscious and resumed glaring at the other girl before her, wiping furiously at the tears cascading down flushed cheeks. "I don't need help. Especially not from you."

"Oh come on!" Said the girl, her face as equally as sorrowful, with her own tears trailing down her tan cheeks, laced with black from a light coat of mascara. "I'm just as sad as you are about this! I want this dude Vincenzo dead too!"

"Bullshit" Jade said, shoving the girl backwards with the palms of her hands flat against her shoulders as so the Latina stumbled backwards, "they meant more to me than they ever will mean to you, so don't give me that crap! You just want to do something to get attention, like always! So people will know you for doing something good and right instead of the talentless Vega sister that had to bribe her way into Hollywood Arts for money!" She shouted, wanting nothing more to shove Trina to the ground once again, maybe hit her across the face so hard she blacked out – then, she would make her escape; alone, just like she had wanted. Even if going alone killed her too. She didn't suppose she would mind dying at this point, even if rescue was right in front of her face at the shore. "And it's Vincent; get it right, idiot."

"Why do you care what I do and what I don't? This isn't about publicity you know!" Trina argued, though her voice sounded frail, as if she was scared to speak up again. "And who cares what his name is?"

"I do, because it's good to actually know the man I'm killing," She paused, speaking through clenched teeth, "alone." And with that, Jade whipped around with her gun tightly grasped at her side, marching off and into the vast forest once again to precede her mission, walking as fast as remotely possible to get away from the eldest Vega sister as quickly as she could, so there would be no chance for her to catch up.

"You're going to get yourself killed if you go alone, you know!" Her shrill, obnoxious voice called out to her, and she could vaguely hear her trumping after her. "Cat and Brett wouldn't want this!"

At this, she could not help but stop and spin around from the heels of her boots, rage searing through her like blazes of blue, hot fire. "His name is Brent, have some fucking respect!" She yelled as loud as she could to the girl running after her, though did not move from her place, "and you don't know a thing about what they would want, you didn't even talk to them! Just go back to your precious Robbie Shapiro and your perfect fucking sister and father and tell them to leave this stupid island without me. Tell Beck to leave too; I'm already fucking dead." It pained her to say the very last line, to even utter her love's name knowing she'll most likely never see him again

Despite Jade's earnest protesting, hours later, Trina had never left to go back to rescue.

In order to ignore the complaints of bugs and how dangerous their, or rather Jade's, mission was once they had settled down for the night, miles off, the Gothic girl pulled a crinkled piece of paper from her back pocket, tucked her gun back into the back of her pants and begun to read the letter Cat had managed to find time to write to her, hoping to dear God that she would not start crying once again just at the mere thought. She knew it was a bad idea, especially since she was not alone and could hardly see despite the soft glow of the fire she had started, but she needed to read this.

Dear Jadey,

I don't know why I'm writing this, but I just think it's the right thing to do. I feel like I have too, and that's kind of weird right? That I feel like I need to write you a letter for no apparent reason. Maybe it's because there's so many things I didn't tell you that I should have, and I promised you that I would someday. And it's odd, 'cause this sounds like a dying letter right? Maybe I'll give this to you before I die, if I do, on this island. Hopefully I don't and hopefully no one else does either, because that would be terrible! Wouldn't it? You're already sick; I could tell you weren't feeling better when you told everyone that we were leaving yesterday, and today you just recently collapsed. I just wish you'll get better.

So everyone's asleep; you've only woken up once but I doubt you'll remember it, and I'm sitting here because I just can't. It's cold and even though the three of you are sleeping beside me, I feel so alone Jadey.

Like I said, even as my best friend there's so many things that you don't know, so I'm going to tell you through this:

1) Those cigarettes you found in my drawer not too long ago; those weren't Mouse's. They were mine. I took them from Mouse because…because he killed someone just before Spring Break and I have no idea where he went, and he left them behind. When I started smoking I just couldn't stop – I liked it, it made me feel less stressed! And you know that I'm always stressed because of my mommy and her horrible fiancé. I hate that I lied to you about it, because you always were so truthful with me (I was too, but this was one of the few things I wasn't) and I thought that if I told you would take them away and yell at me and never speak to me again. I'm too used to getting ignored all the time, I didn't want to lose you too – you're my best friend, my sister. I don't know what I would do if you hated me.

2) I always thought about killing myself. Because of my home life, because of how many freaking problems I have, because everyone thinks that I'm insane. And I am. When we got into that car crash when you picked me up from the Mental Ward, I was kind of hoping that before I passed out, I was dying. But I was kind of grateful I didn't. Does that make sense?

3) I'm bi. And I was always afraid to tell you that, tell anybody really, because I was afraid you weren't going to accept me for who I am. Hopefully you don't suddenly hate me when I give this too you. But this doesn't change the fact that I'm hopelessly in love with your stepbrother.

4) When and if I graduate Hollywood Arts with you and Beck and everyone else, I don't want to be a singer or an actress. I always wanted to go on Broadway again, like we did when we were younger, but be actually noticed for it this time. But that's not it either. I want to become a fashion designer, even as much as I love performing. Maybe, I can be both! Star in musical's or make an album, but also design clothes.

5) Country music was, like smoking, a guilty pleasure of mine. There's really no reason to explain myself with this one, because music is music and music = life and you know that better than anyone.

6) My mother always told me to stay away from you and everyone else that we hang out with because you guys were "weird and freakish" and she didn't want me to become more messed up. Every time I stuck up for all of you and myself, she would slap me in the face. It's why I never stick up for myself anymore and I need someone to do it for me. It's not like I choose to be vulnerable or anything – there's always a legitimate reason for everything.

7) That one bag that we lost to the ocean that one night? That was a bag of all of my medicine, and I don't feel the same without it. That was why I was always so naïve and quirky; because my therapist's loaded me on medication I was forced to take.

8) I like to dance. Not like the dances that we usually do, like when we sang Give It Up together (that was one of my favorite performances we did together, you know; I never told you that) or anything. You know how they dance in Step Up? Kind of like that. I'm good at it too, but isn't that kind of weird? Cat Valentine, dancing like that?

You learn something new everyday, right? But you learned 8!

That's all I can really think of right now, I'm tired and I have a headache and my mind just keeps on wandering off somewhere else. It's really hard to keep focused nowadays – because I just really want a smoke since I haven't had one in so, so long and without any medication I feel like I'm drifting off again and I don't like it. It's weird right? That I'm afraid to be myself and that simply thinking that scares me? Have you ever had those kinds of moments? I hope not, because it's not fun, and you're my best friend and I don't want you to feel kind of thing. It's scary. But you're scary (a good scary!) in your own way so maybe you would like it. Who knows? I don't.

I'm going to stop writing now because I should really try and get some sleep because we're probably going to be doing a lot of walking tomorrow morning. But I'd just thought I'd let you know these things, and that you're my best friend and I love you so, so, so much and you mean so much to me it's not even funny. I think you're one of my only true friends I could be completely honest with; I never want these things I just told you (maybe beside the country music and the fashion designer things…) to be told to anybody else, so hopefully you'll keep these things to yourself. I trust you with everything, so I think I should be okay.

Man, I really hope I never have to give you this letter.

Because if I do, that means that I'm already dead and this will be the last goodbye and the last thing you'll ever have from me. I'm sorry I never told you these things and I hope that you'll forgive me for that. I hope that you can move on without me; I hope that you and the other's find a way to get off this island or I hope rescue comes in time. I hope that when you do get off this island you become a successful actress, marry Beck and have little kiddies. Tiny little Beck and Jade's running around. Please don't do anything stupid; be nice to Tori and Robbie and Trina. Just…don't mourn for me, don't do anything you normally wouldn't do. Please don't cry for me. I never, ever liked to see you cry :(

Love you always and forever,

Rina.

Sorry for the lack of an update yesterday, it was Friday, and I decided to go hang out with a group of friends, see Footloose (great movie, if you didn't see it I really, strongly suggest that you do!) and do some other…things. But oh well, it's up now and I hope you all enjoyed it!

*So, as I had said a couple chapters ago, I was going to be doing either a Candre or a Cade fic – I decided to settle with Candre, because they're the OTP that comes right before Cade. I decided to start working on the story while finishing up this one, but all I got down is the title, pairing's, character backgrounds and the setting (like post-episode and stuff). "Of Pianos and Cupcakes" and the scenario and pairings/backgrounds are all I have down on a word document. Hopefully I'll be able to work up a quick summary and then let the plot unfold from there, and then give you guys a brief idea of what it'll be about. But I'll only consider posting it on this website if I'll have readers and reviewers, because not a lot of people actually ship Candre ._.

Anybody guess that it was going to be Trina who was going to help Jade out? I bet you didn't ^^ I decided to give her a bigger part in the story since she really didn't have one.

Well, now that my obsessive rambling has passed, I'll say what I always say at the end of a chapter: I love each and every one of you guys sooo(!) much, and review away! (: One more chapter to go before the last/epilogue! Oh, and I know I said I'd dedicated this chapter to you Napier – but it'll be the next one, I promise! I kind of felt I needed to do someone else for this chapter. Sorry!