Chapter 26. Christmas at the Malfoys (Part One)

"This is great," Harry murmured as he slipped behind me.

Leaning back into his warm body, I shifted until I was absolutely comfortable. Well, as comfortable as one could be while sitting scandalously on the floor. Who knew that couches were better for leaning against than sitting on?

"It has been a pretty good Christmas," I agreed, while gazing serenely at the roaring fire before us. The mantle was decked with fur branches and ribbons, as tradition demanded, and it was quite a spirit lifting sight. Of course, the entire house was decked in style, but there was something just so Christmas about a roaring fire at Malfoy Manor.

I was still hazy as to why the Malfoys had suddenly been allowed back into the Manor as I had not been permitted at any of the Ministry meetings my parents had attended. And technically, the Manor was still not under our control, but held in trust by a Ministry administrator. The silly Ministry thought we were some sort of threat or some other rubbish and technically a Ministry drone of some sort, Amelia Bones to be specific, had final say in all goings on.

Which was why 'my parents' (or should I say Madame Bones?) had graciously accepted Harry Potter as my guest for the Holiday. (Truthfully, I'd have rethought the invitation if I'd remembered that along with Harry Potter came an insane guardian, an ex-Professor that had a hairy problem every month, and annoying Gryffindor friends plus their families.)

I was pulled from my thoughts by the feeling of Harry pressing his lips fleetingly down the side of my neck as he made a happy sound in the back of this throat. I titled my head to smile up at him and Harry's eyes twinkled happily as he leaned down to start a snog. Unfortunately, our interlude was interrupted by a throat clearing itself pointedly from the corner. Harry's body tensed.

"Though I still don't see why he's here," Harry complained, looking pointedly at the other person in the room, one Severus Snape, Potions professor and Malfoy family friend. Said professor had pulled himself from his book to glare at me for my public-display-of-affection-with-a-Potter.

"He's my guest," I replied haughtily. "Madame Bones approved your guests just as she did mine. Besides my guest is far less annoying than yours."

"Awe, c'mon, Sirius has been great! Remember the Yule log yesterday?"

Severus took this as his opportunity to snarl at Harry and join the conversation. "Potter, a house elf trussed like a turkey, even with the addition of that patheticscarlet bow, is not in any way shape or form, a Yule log! Though, as you are the Harry Potter, I understand that you may be too busy with fame and fortune to pay attention to such a trivial thing."

"I knew you'd be a big drain on the Holiday spirit." Harry glared at him. "I mean, just look at you! You could wear a Christmas jumper like a normal person but you're still in school robes!"

"These are not school robes," Severus replied disdainfully. "This is my normal attire."

Harry blinked at him. "It's like you stepped out of a gothic horror novel. Shouldn't you be off haunting a crypt somewhere instead of ruining our fun?"

"As if I would leave my godson with a Potter, a werewolf and an imbecile."

"You're forgetting the aurors. Most of them from Gryffindor eh?" Harry replied gleefully. "Must be nice to see a few old students."

"As I predicted, the aurors are too busy dealing with their charge, Lucius, to assist my godson in any way," Severus hissed.

Granted, he had a point. The deal Potter and my parents had worked out with the Ministry was still a mystery to me, but the Auror force was non-negotiable (and useless). As predicted, their addition had caused father to erupt in a snit as he was the only one they insisted on keeping under watchful 'protection'. We'd started out with a team of three men and two women, but mother had immediately taken over the youngest male for herself as a sort of 'Personal Assistant'. He was a rabbit like bloke who soon developed a noticeable twitch. As for the other two…well, they were caught with Father in a rather compromising position near the pool, and that was the last we saw of them.

Since then, we'd only seen female aurors. It wasn't a great loss to me, except for the fact that we now housed an annoying auror who delighted in changing her hair color every time she saw me in the halls. She was related but cut off for good reason I'd say.

"Everyone having a grand time then?" An annoyingly cheery voice boomed from the doorway. Black and Lupin entered the room, flushed and slipping out of overcoats as they shook copious amounts of slush onto our ancient and well preserved Persian rug.

"Sirius! Come on in!" Harry beamed while Severus brought his book back to his face. Perhaps he hoped that by blocking out all sight of the man, Black would disappear. Granted, the book was fairly large as it was a sturdy, leather potions manual, obviously centuries old. My professor was such a brilliant man to study on a holiday!

"We went caroling!" Black announced to the room (as if anyone cared) before sprawling inelegantly onto great-great Aunt Eloises' fainting couch. As this was situated directly next to Severus' wing back chair, the professor immediately reacted by shifting away.

"Though, in retrospect, one could assume that there wouldn't be a great deal of interest in such merriments in a neighborhood such as this." Lupin murmured in that quiet voice of his, while taking a seat near the fire. The golden glow lit his hair and face, giving him a more cheerful cast than he usually sported. But then, anyone would look tired if they were forced to spend too much time with that Sirius Black.

"True, true. Draco, your neighbors are rather stuck up," Black said cheerfully.

"What neighbors?" I asked suspiciously, wondering where on earth Black had dragged Lupin. Our estate was quite large, and I highly doubted the pair could have reached another dwelling on foot within the hour they'd been gone, especially not in the snow.

"You know, your neighbors, the family in that long building with all the traps and 'no trespassing' signs."

"Though they had a certain rustic charm," Lupin murmured appreciatively.

"Please don't tell me you went to the 'forbidden barns'?" I goggled.

"Barns? That would explain the dogs then, quite an unfriendly lot you have there. I half expected to have a crazed old wizard with a staff coming after us next!" Black explained while craning his head slightly backwards to get a better view of Snape's book. Severus immediately snapped the book shut and with a disgruntled air stalked to a seat next to Lupin before resuming reading. Lupin and Black exchanged a look.

"Dogs?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Yep, big black beasts, fiery eyes. Took a bit to lose them!" Black answered.

Oh for the love of! "Blitsy!" I called. A moment later the house elf popped into view. "This idiot has let the Hell Hounds loose, round them up and corral them at once!" I was beginning to get a headache. Pity it was only ten o'clock in the morning.

Harry murmured something consolingly in my ear about Black not meaning to cause any trouble and gave me a shoulder rub. Mmm… and to think I might have been this close to losing this!

"Severus, studying during the holidays?" Lupin commented in that smooth voice of his. "I commend you for your diligence. Your students must appreciate such a dedicated teacher."

Snape closed his book with a decisive snap and turned to Lupin, his black eyes glittering in the glow from the fire, which would have also cast a rosy look to his sallow cheeks, if such a thing were possible. "You were a Professor, Lupin, however…short…your stay. You must know that the student population would not know diligence if it was forced down their lackadaisical throats."

There was a snort from Black at this, but Lupin nodded amiably. "But, Severus, not all students are the same."

"Of course they are not all the same. Most are not only lazy dunderheads but outright juvenile delinquents." His black eyes traveled to Harry at this who bristled at the allegation.

"Harry dear?" A high pitched voice called from the fire place and a head appeared. It was definitely a woman, with a round face and rather pleasant features.

"Hello Mrs. Weasley, how is your morning?" Harry asked politely and I cringed slightly.

Drat. The part of the Holiday I'd been dreading. Weasleys over for Christmas Eve… Potter's suggestion had been given the stamp of approval by that bloody Ministry fool, Bones. Stupid Ministry. But the Weasleys weren't supposed to come until tonight!

"I thought now would be a good time, I just know I need to get the turkey in to give it enough time to cook and I haven't even started on the pies! If the Malfoys wouldn't mind us coming just a tad bit early?"

Harry promptly clapped a hand over my mouth while he cheerfully answered, "Of course not Mrs. Weasley, come right over! The Malfoys are looking forward to having you over!"

"Potter!" I hissed around his hand, "What is going on! Why are they coming early? She doesn't mean to cook in our kitchens, does she? Nobody cooks there!" Well, no humans at least, and truthfully I wasn't even sure if House Elves counted as sentient creatures, what with all the ugly.

"Well, she does. Homemade stuff is much better than house elf food, you'll see," he argued.

I sighed in response.

A plump woman stepped from the fireplace, holding a large, covered dish in her hands. She handed the container to Lupin and began swishing at her robes, muttering about being covered in soot. The robes were a frightful combination of colors, just as one would expect of a Weasley.

The next person was more familiar, as he was that enemy of all things 'Malfoy', Arthur Weasley. He immediately shook Black's hand while slipping out of his own patched robe in a sheepish manner. He should feel ashamed, forcing himself into the house of the family he'd been unjustly persecuting for ages!

I was pulled to my feet by Potter, who was then enveloped in a squishy looking hug by the plump woman who called him Harry dear. Then, the daft woman actually started brimming with tears (tears!) at 'seeing him again after all those weeks apart! And had he been getting enough to eat?'

More red headed spawn were popping out of the fireplace at an alarming rate, each holding various battered pans and bags full of bizarre looking foodstuffs. The Weasel was holding a bag of raw carrots. RAW CARROTS! I was glaring at both the Weasel and his bag of raw vegetables heatedly (and being ignored in favor of Black) before I was yanked into warm, soft arms. I gaped at the shoulder my head was currently stuffed into, seeing strands of red hair falling softly from the woman's bun.

Mrs. Weasley was…hugging me?

"Draco, you're so thin as well. Harry has told me all about the difficult a time you've been having these last few years. And he was right!"

"Wuh…" I managed to articulate as I was now held at arms length, my vision full of a plump face and kind brown eyes.

"Oh! I see my first order of business is going to be getting a bit of food into you! Why look at you, so thin a breeze could knock you over!"

"Er…"

"Now, Harry dear, I was hoping you and Draco could help us with the second floo trip, we've a few more bags to bring before we can get started in the kitchen!" She beamed.

"Sounds great!" Harry beamed right back while I coughed around the hand that had again appeared over my mouth.

I managed to sneak away from the intended manual labor under the guise of getting the house elves to ready their rooms. They actually believed me, as if the house elves weren't standing ready, everything having been prepared the moment they stepped through the floo! Ha! Silly, poverty stricken Weasleys. Instead, I hid in a seldom used portion of our library, moping about the situation and trying to figure out what exactly I was supposed to get all of the new additions for Christmas.

It only occurred to me several (quiet) hours later that it might be a good idea to let my parents know that the house was infested by Weasleys. Besides, if I was to be harassed, they would have to share the pain. Deciding to bestow this 'gift' upon father first, I headed for the pool, expecting to find him sunning himself (to no avail I might add, as Malfoys never tan) under palm trees and a ceiling charmed to look like the Caribbean sky.

To this day Lucius insists that the sky lights and the pool itself were not muggle inventions, thank you very much.

I found Black instead, standing in a corner of the pool room with what looked like a green, shiny rope.

"What is that?" I asked, immediately suspicious.

"Heya Draco! Oh this? A hose. Muggle invention. For gardens!" he replied while affixing a silver facet with a lever on the gaping end. He then stood and twirled the object in his hands while grinning at me. Again, I reiterate, completely mad. As a loon.

Ignoring the fact that he was using a garden tool in the pool room I rallied, "You brought a muggle invention into our house?"

"Draco, you do realize the entire room has muggle written all over it, don't you? I mean look at the hot tub! Didn't know you old crusty family types had it in you!"

I thought about arguing to save family pride, but sighed instead, remembering the computers father had hidden away for his bizarre sexual fetish. "Tell me about it. What are you doing anyway?"

"Shhh!" he said, grabbing me by one arm and peering around a large potted palm. There were voices coming from the far end of the pool room, near the Japanese Koi pond.

"What's going on?" I whispered.

"Remus' trying to convince Snivellus to try the pool. Fat lot of good it'll do him though, as if that slimy snake would try something new!"

The voices were now closer and I could make out the soft voice of Remus Lupin. "It really is quite beneficial exercise. I understand swimming back and forth works muscle groups that otherwise aren't used."

"But would not a swim in a lake produce the same effect? I see no need to immerse myself in water polluted by muggles to such an unnatural shade of blue."

"Right. Well, there is also the hot tub. Very beneficial at relaxing sore muscles. See, the pulsating jets?"

"Are you mad, Lupin? You wish me to disrobe into what appears to be a large tub of Draught of Living Death?"

Lupin's soft laughter was heard. "I swear it's nothing like that, but you don't have to try anything you don't want to."

"At least you have gotten one thing correct this morning…though I had not known the Malfoys were so…inclined. I will have to make sure I watch Draco a bit more closely lest he inadvertently fall into one of these new death traps that Lucius has designed."

There was a swish of robes and Severus in his usual dark attire passed the potted pot we were crouched behind, along with Lupin decked in a fuzzy brown jumper.

I opened my mouth to greet the Professor, but was pushed aside as Black lunged forward, the muggle hose in hand. With a maniacal laugh he aimed the silver end at Severus, and a stream of water flew forward to completely drench the potions master.

Time seemed to slow as the last few drops of water continued its slow arc over Severus, who now looked half drowned, with hair sticking to his face and rivulets running down his neck to disappear into his customary black vest. His robes no longer swirled, but were clinging to his legs as a small puddle began to form beneath him.

Black was now back to doing the twirly thing with the hose, before he blew on the end and winked at the professor.

"Severus!" I called, but was stopped by the dark eyes he turned to us, almost hidden beneath the wet bangs covering half of his face.

"Black," Severus hissed coldly. I could feel my fingers getting frostbitten.

"Fancy seeing you here Snape!" Black exclaimed happily as he plunged headlong towards assisted suicide.

"Indeed," came the low reply, as Severus lifted his sodden arms to give them a shake, his eyes never leaving Black.

"Sorry about getting you all wet there. Was just cleaning the pool area! No hard feelings, eh?"

"Cleaning? How…considerate of you. But, you seem to be a bit clumsy today, Black," Severus purred, menace in each syllable.

"Yep, but hey, I hate to see you all soaking wet like that in all those layers. Luckily, I just happen to have a change of clothing right here!" And from the pocket of his worn jeans, Black pulled an impossibly small article of clothing. It was a brilliant Gryffindor red.

"What…is that…abomination?" Severus asked.

"It's for swimming. Briefs! Popular in European resorts I hear. See… nice and stretchy to accommodate any body part, no matter how generous," Black replied while demonstrating by stretching the tiny red object between his hands. Then he gave Severus another long look. "It doesn't matter if it's not generous either, you know, in any case…"

"And you expect me to wear that miniscule thing after you have drenched me with freezing water in the middle of December?" Severus had raised his voice, but he was smartly ignoring Black's immature comments. He probably was just jealous of Severus anyway!

Black heard the venom in that comment and frowned for a second before brightening again. "But it's nice and warm in here, like a mini part of the tropics. In fact, in those wet robes, I bet you're feeling really hot and would love to change into something lighter. Heck, if you don't like the briefs, I bought something else for you though I didn't think you'd go for it."

He searched in the pockets of his jeans again, this time coming up with a small black triangle. It appeared to be a string with a pouch. Black beamed and held it out for Severus.

"And that would be?" Severus asked dryly.

"A thong! It'll be just like being in the water naked! I bet you'll really like it once you try it!"

Severus didn't reply for a moment and I watched in fascination as a drop of water crept from his forehead all the way down to the tip of his overly large nose. There was a rustle of wet robes and he soon had his wand out and pointed at Black, who was still holding the muggle contraption and grinning. With a flick of his wrist and a muttered word, Severus had Black levitated and soon had him dangling over the blue water of the swimming pool.

SPLASH!

Black was dropped headfirst into the water, muggle jeans, tight white shirt and all. He came up sputtering, but then waggled his eyebrows at Severus.

"Are we even now? Come on, you know you want to go swimming!" he called out jovially.

Severus growled, low in his throat. "Even? We are nowhere near 'even', you imbecilic prat."

Lupin stepped between the two figures to place a hand on Snape's chest. "Severus, Sirius, let's calm down now. I'm sure it was an accident," he began.

Severus poked Lupin's chest with a bony finger, pushing him back a step. "No doubt you were in on this humiliating little scheme? Don't play innocent, wolf, you won't be able to hide forever."

He turned and lurched wetly from the room while Lupin looked after him helplessly before bending to help his companion–in-crime up. "Idiot," Lupin said, sounding fond. "What were you thinking? Being an arse isn't going to do it."

Black snorted, "Yeah, like being nice does?"

I frowned at their confusing conversation before turning to run after my godfather, determined to offer any help he could require. I managed to follow Severus' dripping trail for two corridors before it disappeared. Drat, he had remembered that he actually was a wizard.

Perhaps it was a good time to commiserate with mother about the sorry turn of Weasley-related-events? I'd undoubtedly find her in the ball room we were using for the party tonight, fluttering about and making sure everything was perfect.

Unfortunately, I found the Weasley twins instead, exiting the room while snickering together. This did not bode well. I gave them suspicious glares, which they returned with Cheshire like grins.

"Don't you want-"

"-to go in?" They asked while pointing at the ball room. Every nerve in my body was shouting that I did not want to enter any room with the twins while alone.

"No, no," I replied weakly. "Ummm…Tea. It's that time." It was a good excuse, as it was approaching that time.

They exchanged a glance.

"We'll walk with you then," one said. I was getting suspicious, but wasn't sure how to get rid of them without seeming suspicious.

"Hey, mate," the twin to my left said, draping his arm around my shoulders as we passed a portrait of Caesar Augustus Malfoy (who, in opposition to his namesake had spent most of his life hiding in a wine cellar from his wife. On the bright side, this had directly contributed to the excellent quality of the Malfoy wine cellars). It would have to have been George, because he was again helpfully wearing a red sweater with a large 'G' stitched on it.

"Yes?"

"We were wondering if you had …a field?"

"A Quidditch field? Of course. We have three."

The twin to my right blinked. "Not that kind of field, mate. Though that's brilliant! But, do you have something like a watcha call it… a stable?" I had thought he was Fred, but he also had a sweater with a large 'G' on it, only his was in blue.

"Well, we do have several stables, but why would you need one?" I asked suspiciously.

Unless, they wanted to move out? Maybe the luxury of the Manor was too much for them. In fact, might not then all of the Weasleys feel better moving out into one of our stables? It would be just like being at home for them, all dusty and full of straw and animals, and finally the Manor would be quiet and clean again!

The twins exchanged glances again.

"No reason," they said in unison. It was really creepy when they did that.

We finally arrived in the kitchen, but the twins boggling behavior continued. They were dropping hints about needing hay now, which had me hoping that they were planning on making beds outside for themselves, but the conversation was going in circles as they weren't getting my subtle hints for them to sleep in the greenhouse. Mother grew some of the loveliest plants there. They had never failed in their job of consuming unwanted guests on tour before!

Mrs. Weasley was pulling a tray of scones from the oven, which was a new sight for me, mother never having touched the stove. (Baking was said to cause wrinkles.) The entire kitchen smelled delicious, like bread and melted butter and cinnamon.

Before I could protest, she'd forced me into a chair, poured me a cup of tea and fussed over me for being too thin. She slapped the twins' hands when they reached for a scone, and instead carefully dished a piece onto a plate for me. (It was a fruit scone! With raisins and nuts!)

"Here you are dear. I made this for you." She smiled as she passed me a plate with clotted cream and jam and I realized that I was to eat tea in the kitchen. And, that she had made the scones for me with her own hands!

"Thank you Mrs. Weasley, this is the most delicious scone I've ever had," I managed to stop eating long enough to pay her a compliment. "It's very light and buttery."

"How nice of you to notice! It's an old Prewett recipe of my mother's."

She then pushed a plate of sandwiches toward me, but it was unlike any plate of tea sandwiches I'd ever encountered. Instead of tiny crust-less squares, there were large chunks of rustic bread stuffed with meats and cheeses. As I plopped a tasty looking chicken sandwich on my plate, the door burst open, spoiling our peaceful mood.

Ron Weasley stomped in, red in the face and wearing a shirt with slightly more holes than usual. I shrugged at his appearance as there was nothing unusual about it.

"You!" he screeched, pointing at the twins (who had somehow managed to get the rest of the scones on their plates along with half of the sandwiches without their mother noticing).

They looked up innocently.

"Yes Ronnikins?" The twin in the red asked, managing to smile around the large bite he'd taken.

"You put a goat in my room! It ate half of my suitcase!"

"I'm not sure-"

"-I know what you're talking about." They plastered extremely innocent expressions on their faces.

"You did it! It had a tag! Property of Fred and George."

"You should sit down and rest, Ronnikins."

"You're looking unwell."

The twins gave Weasley very concerned looks, which caused him to turn even redder and utter a strangled "Die!" while lunging at them.

"Ronald! You're embarrassing yourself in front of dear Draco," Mrs. Weasley admonished as she deftly yanked him back by one ear.

"Dear Draco?" Ron rubbed his ear and took a seat.

"And you!" She rounded on the twins. "Move whatever you've put in Ron's room out. I don't want to know how you got a goat in here, but move it out!"

The twins pretended to be contrite while I enjoyed the novel experience of the Weasel getting just what was coming to him. And the beauty of it was that I hadn't had to do anything!

"Corned Beef! Not again!" The Weasel suddenly spoke up, looking from his plate with a fish-like grimace.

"Enough Ronald! Just look at Draco here with his lovely manners. You should be ashamed to look so poorly in front of him. He isn't complaining."

"Oh, but I could never complain about your cooking, Mrs. Weasley." I applauded myself as I said this without smirking at the Weasel.

"Call me Molly." She beamed at me while the Weasel made rude comments under his breath.

I smiled back. Perhaps it was the way the Weasel was fuming at the both of us, or perhaps it was the delicious food, but for some reason it was easy to smile at Molly Weasley.

A/N

Has been betaed by the talented Cimmerian Sorceress! The Hell Hounds section is especially inspired by her!