A/N It looks like there is one more chapter then an epilogue. Thank you to my lovely friends and readers who returned to this with me and reviewed. I truly appreciate it and always reply. Thank you to my beta Lisa for consistently reminding me how awesome you are. Enjoy x

Song: "On the Mend" by The Foo Fighters

Breath of Life

One more day that I've survived

Another night alone

Pay no mind I'm doing fine

I'm breathing on my own

I'm here

And I'm on the mend

I'm here

And I'm on the mend my friend

Wake me when the hour arrives

Wake me with my name

See you somewhere down the line

We're tethered once again

-x-x-x-

The week following our run in with the Volturi was relative bliss. There was calm, there was no fear, there was just Edward and me taking it day-by-day.

I had decided I needed to give myself some time to regroup and think before we made any more changes or decisions, not to mention try to relax into my new skin. We hunted with his family, and I spent some time playing around with my talent – something that still baffled me in its form and possibility. In place of sleep, we talked long into the nights, the family telling me vampire history, about the other covens, and more of the background to the Volturi. I had heard about each of the Cullens' stories from Edward, but I was looking forward to learning more from them personally over time. Time was something we had plenty of.

In the early morning after the Volturi had departed, we had returned to the house with a reflective happiness thick amongst us. Once the excitement had settled, there had been an unspoken need to be with our partners. I think the night had served as a reminder of what everyone had been through to be together and the power of the choice to live as the Cullens do. After the worry, the uncertainty, and then the confrontation, the relief was palpable. Edward and I had been silent after we retreated to his room. We had remained silent as our eyes fixed on one another as we undressed, then joined almost desperately in a grateful embrace. His mouth had found mine as we collapsed onto his bed, and each stroke of our union sang between us in passionate confirmation that we were together and alive.

As the dust settled further, the one thing that I couldn't prevent any longer from pressing on my mind was Charlie.

It wasn't that I thought of Renee any less. The peril of an overactive mind was that there was space to think of everyone all at once if I didn't control it. Edward told me I'd learn soon enough how to push things back and just be in the moment. It was already getting easier for me.

The feeling that there was more we could do for Charlie clung to me, more so than for Renee. She had Phil, and while that was no consolation for losing your only child, I knew that her partner would help her to move forward. When mom had left us when I was eight, Charlie lost one of his girls. It had always felt that way. Ten years later, I kept thinking over and over that now he's lost us both.

I couldn't do that to him; I couldn't.

The all too familiar visions of Charlie being alone in Forks with me suddenly plucked from his life returned. It had just been him and me for so much of the time. Coexisting in that little house, eating together at the diner, riding in his police cruiser, watching his football games on TV… I had been his companion. The part of my mind absorbed in thoughts of him basically felt like a stuck record. It hinted at the fact that I might never be fully at peace with my new life if I left without some kind of conclusion.

But knowing that was one thing; working out what the hell the solution was, wasn't going to be so simple.

I thought of how Jacob had taken the news when we broke it to him. I couldn't deny that it had been hard for him to grapple with the idea. Jacob had an advantage in his understanding that my father wouldn't have, given that his tribal histories held a strong belief in the presence of more "supernatural" beings. The most important thing to me, though, was that Jacob had said that it was easier to know that somewhere out there I was okay and living, even if it was in an entirely unfathomable way. Almost anything would be better than a life spent thinking I was dead.

The question plagued me: would that be best for Charlie, too?

I had to keep reevaluating to make sure I wasn't simply being selfish. I couldn't deny that I wanted my father near me, even one last time. If I had to say goodbye, I wanted to be able to do it face-to-face. In wanting that, I was making a huge decision on his behalf. I was exposing him to a reality that, while amazing to be a part of as a vampire, was not something regular people should even fathom. Not to mention the risk from the Volturi. I knew that would be one of the Cullens' first arguments. No doubt it was a very real risk that I had witnessed firsthand. They certainly didn't take lightly to vampires who broke from the norm and defied their obsession with secrecy.

There was a "what if" on that scenario as well, though. The "what if" was my shield. We would have to tell Charlie on a simply "need to know" basis, exposing him to very little of true vampiredom. Then there was also my potential to protect him by shielding his house as I had done with Jacob's. It wasn't foolproof from what we could tell with our rudimentary testing and talking further with Eleazar. The shield I carried with me was easier to understand and manage. What's more, it didn't seem to have any weaknesses at this point, and Eleazar knew that there certainly weren't any vampires in the Volturi guard at the moment who could breach it. That further supported what Edward had read in Aro's mind: they wouldn't be bothering us anytime soon. The shield that I had managed to leave behind was much more of an anomaly. There was debate as to whether it was fueled by my emotional and mental influence, and what effect that had on who or what it would let through its barrier.

My suggestion would be to put one around Charlie's house and see what happened. So long as it let through people he wanted there, then we could only hope it worked on those we didn't want there if the time came. Needing to protect him outside of his house was something I didn't want to think about. We would simply be reliant on Alice foreseeing that threat.

The crux of it all seemed to be that, if the roles were reversed, I would want to know. I would want to know that while our lives couldn't be the same together, he was still okay, existing, and happy.

It was all of these thoughts that I rambled off to the Cullens when I finally decided I had to get it off my chest. The worst they could do was veto my ideas, but at least we would have aired it fully so I could find a way to let it go. My saving grace in all this was that Edward completed me so fully, if I couldn't leave everything from my life perfect, at least I had my perfect love.

I looked around the room at Edward's family. I was pleased that they seemed to truly be thinking about what I was asking. The room was quiet, and I was thankful to them for taking the time, rather than instantly delivering the same arguments.

"It's that question I need you to think about: if it was you and someone you loved, would you want to know? I'm not saying my thinking is right, or that it's rhetorical. I'm asking because I truly need you to weigh in on the pros and cons of this as if it were a fresh discussion. I want to know what you would want if you were human," I reiterated.

Of course, it wasn't as simple as that to their minds. They'd never decided to tell anyone in all of their existence. Hell, they didn't even tell me, and I was in a very involved relationship with one of them. That was a pretty telling sign.

After a few silent minutes had passed, I looked to Edward. He had been very understanding about me still thrashing this out, rather than just letting it go. Deep down, he didn't see how any reveal was possible, or how it would be good for Charlie – or even for me – to go through that, yet he was willing to talk it out. He brushed his thumb against my hand, shifting his grip to thread his fingers through mine.

"Basically, they would all want to know, Bella," he said finally, telling me what he had been listening to. "You understand it's hard for us to put ourselves in that mindset. None of us had quite the same introduction to being a vampire or quite the same connection to our human life as you do."

"I guess it's easier for me to give the answer, because I've always put myself into a maternal role. If it were one of you I had lost as a mother, I would want to know you were okay. I still think there's more to it than that, and we should talk about some of the other things you mentioned for and against this," Esme added.

"I understand where you're coming from, I think," Rose said. "I was pretty happy with my human life, and I felt like I had left a lot behind until I got to know Emmett. Having all of that taken away was always something I struggled with, and I didn't even have the sort of relationship with my family that you had with Charlie. I guess that I agree that we should look on your situation as unique, without applying our standard theories to it."

It still often surprised me when Rose appeared as an ally. I gave her a small nod in thanks.

"Maybe it's time to do away with standard theories, anyway. Most of mine have been blown out of the water in the past few months as it is," Jasper said, shaking his head. "Bella's already outshone any newborn, ever. Don't get me started on adding her talent to that."

"She's amazing, right?" Edward smiled softly, my favorite casual smile that was just a dash of smug mixed with pure love. His hand rubbed up my thigh, and a gear clicked into place that had me wanting to save the debating for later.

There were a few seconds of silence before Rose spoke again.

"There's just so much to it, Bella. It's also not just you that you'd have to expose. You can't very well explain to him that you're now a vampire without also telling him that all of us are." She paused momentarily. "It's not that I have a problem with your dad knowing that about me, it's just that an en masse revelation like that? That could be pretty destructive."

I knew what she meant. Everything the Cullens had presented as a façade to the town of Forks was a lie, basically. Charlie had stood by while his daughter had dated someone who wasn't even technically alive. I was pretty sure his mind would take him down that path, and he would no doubt start blaming himself again and questioning everything he believes. I wondered if I was being too dramatic. Perhaps the buck would stop when his (dead) daughter was walking around in front of him.

"What if we don't have to go into that much detail? I'd rather we didn't have to use the word 'vampire' at all. We could simplify and even fabricate the story a little. Lord knows you guys must be good at that sort of thing by now?"

I hope they didn't take that as a dig, but the slight smiles and Emmett's laugh told me they hadn't.

"That's true." Emmett guffawed.

"If we were to tell him, I wondered if Jacob might be a key factor in it going more smoothly. He might be able to help Charlie understand, or support him beyond what we can do? He's a more neutral voice than the rest of us."

I'd already mentioned this to Edward. Knowing how he felt about Jacob in the past, I didn't want to throw him any curveballs. I was looking more to Carlisle and Alice now, mostly because they'd been silent so far.

"You want to involve him further than he already has been?" Esme asked.

"Well, like I said, Jacob's conclusion after we told him was similar to my current reasoning: he would rather know. He understood that he couldn't have a true connection with my life anymore but, for Charlie's sake, I think he could cope with contact with us one last time."

"Okay," Carlisle finally said. "My thinking is this: we can bring Charlie and Jacob over here. Bella stays hidden until we get a grasp on how things are going. We say as little as possible, but we get across the information that we saved Bella. However, we have to be clear that she is not the same, and he won't have the same relationship that he had before. It will be like she doesn't exist, with the peace of mind that she isn't dead in the way he thought she was. As Bella said, need to know basis only."

"Alice?" I asked.

"About five minutes into the discussion, I could see that we were going to tell him. And…it will be okay, Bella. I think it will be okay." She smiled gently at the end, but I could tell she had some trepidation.

"Obviously I'll be able to help keep him calm enough to hear us out," Jasper offered. "If all else fails, we could always call on Eleazar's friend who has the ability to cloud recent memory, Men in Black style." He gave an un-humorous laugh at the end. I was glad he was mostly kidding.

There was one other thing going on that needed to be considered. With some careful planning, an anonymous tip was going to be given which would lead the detectives from my case to a body. The body would be a match to prints found on my truck and to what Jacob could remember of my attacker. The Volturi had left James lying in the field for us to deal with, and this plan had been formulated over the past few days.

Charlie needed to know about me before that news was broken, causing him to shut down the last minute grain of hope.

-x-x-x-

I sent a text to Jacob to ask if he was okay to talk before calling him. I had to treat him with kid gloves in a way, taking care with what I said and keeping him at a distance. I didn't want to use him, but I also couldn't lead him on to thinking us talking would be a regular thing.

I explained to him carefully that I didn't expect him to do anything for us; he'd already done more than enough for me recently. I merely sounded him out on what he thought about the situation with Charlie. He practically offered to help, and I was indebted to Jacob once again.

Given the support he'd been drawing from both the Cullens and the Blacks, it wasn't hard for Esme to convince Charlie to join them for a casual dinner at the house the following night. It seemed to help him to be around people who had loved me almost as much as he had.

I positioned myself on the upstairs landing, where I could see down to the main stairs and living room. I wanted to be able to watch what happened, and my speed meant there was little risk of me being spotted before we wanted me to be.

There was a sloppy knock at the door just after 5:30 p.m., and I heard Carlisle welcome my dad inside with Jacob. They came into view as they ascended the last steps, and I flinched a little at the sight. The man that walked into the Cullen house that evening was not Charlie Swan.

It was not the Charlie Swan I'd seen when he came home from attending a bad traffic accident. It was not the Charlie Swan that I'd seen when his mother died. It was not the Charlie Swan that I'd seen when Renee left us when I was a little girl.

This was but a shadow of Charlie Swan, even from my memories of his lowest points.

I knew the community had stocked his fridge and freezer to last him at least a year, but his cheeks were still more drawn than when I'd last seen him. He looked more like the blood had been drained from him than I did, his skin sallow. His clothes hung off his body, his head drooped and lacked the strength and pride with which it used to sit on his shoulders. There was no life in his eyes, no sparkle that I had always loved. They were sad eyes, and I think that was the worst bit of all.

They gathered together in the living room, Esme handing Charlie a can of his favorite Vitamin R and Jacob a glass of Coke.

They talked somberly for a short time, before they ran out of general greetings and the subject would turn to the obvious. While many in town would skirt around the topic, they were in familiar company, and their common loss allowed them to speak more honestly.

"Charlie," Carlisle began, and I knew this was it. I felt for him. There was no easy way to begin what needed to be said, and I appreciated their shouldering the initial burden. I wished it could be me from the outset. Carlisle cleared his throat unnecessarily. "We wanted to talk to you about a few things tonight. Jacob included. It's… it's about Bella."

Charlie's brow furrowed and he scanned the faces in the room, ending at Jacob's as he started to speak.

"You don't live in the world you think you do, Charlie," Jacob said, angling himself toward the confused man on the couch. "There are some things going on in it that simply don't make sense. It's best not to try and have them make sense, either. It is what it is, and it's a need to know kind of thing. Most of which, we don't need to know."

I was amazed at how my childhood friend seemed to have grown recently, his words coming out with a wisdom and confidence about them.

"What do you know, Jacob?" Charlie asked, his voice dropping an octave to indicate he didn't want to be messed around when it came to the subject of his daughter.

"I know enough to be okay again, Charlie. That's all." His eyes were full of calm honesty, and I knew Charlie would see that. "This isn't a complete fix and a return to normalcy. It's… a bandage on the wound."

"Before we say any more, do you want us to stop?" Carlisle asked, clasping his fingers together. I was taking note of all the ways they managed to look human, knowing I may need to put the skills into practice shortly.

My dad looked confused and suspicious. Despite that, he seemed to process that it was a decision he shouldn't let that suspicion, or even just morbid curiosity, be a factor in.

"I want the bandage," Charlie said, studying Jacob's face.

"Okay," Jacob said, releasing a tense breath. "You have to remember to listen to the whole story, because the first announcement is going to make you want to freak out." He looked to Carlisle to take over again. Jasper shifted slightly closer to Charlie.

"Edward and Emmett found Bella's body." Charlie gasped painfully and grabbed hold of the couch, as Carlisle continued. "Her heart had stopped. The injuries she had suffered were such that no standard human medicine could have saved her; she was simply too far gone.

"I had access to a somewhat supernatural solution, which had the potential to work if it could get her heart to pump again. It's related to something that Jacob's ancestors have in their history, but it's not supported by modern medicine. I guess along the lines of assisted suicide, its antithesis is just as controversial. Well, more so, to be honest. So controversial that it's unheard of in everyday human life.

"Basically, in order for Bella to get better, she had to…change. The result of that is that she wouldn't be able to carry on with her regular life. I'm sure you can understand that the suspicions and questions around how she came to be again would be too much for detectives, doctors… for anyone to comprehend. You saw the crime scene, Charlie. We know they think she could only be dead."

I read on Charlie's face that he knew that to be the only likelihood, but Carlisle was the first to actually say it to him so bluntly.

"What do you mean, 'how she came to be again'?" Charlie asked, frustration and a slant of anger gripping his voice.

"She…to you and I, to us in this room only, Bella is here. We brought her back to life."

Eyes were shifting subtly to Edward and Alice, making sure Charlie wasn't about to lose his mind. He looked furiously at Carlisle before shaking his head, dropping his gaze to the floor. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"I've seen her, Charlie," Jacob said, putting a hand carefully on Charlie's knee. "She wanted me to know that she was okay, and I didn't have to feel guilty anymore. I got my closure. I'm here tonight to help you get the same."

Charlie didn't say a thing. Edward, Alice, and Jasper looked to each other, determining how to progress from what each of them could read from my father. Edward looked up at me and gave me a small nod and a gentle smile.

I took each step carefully, molding my movements into a human-like execution. Charlie had his head in his hands. Once I stood next to where Edward and Carlisle were seated, I spoke carefully.

"Hi, Dad."

He gasped again and a small sob cracked from him. His eyes were moist when they finally managed to look up at me.

"Bells?"

He stood gingerly, assessing my appearance.

"Yeah."

"You're okay?

"I'm okay. I'm more than okay."

He took one step closer to me.

"I need to know wh-what happened, Bella," he stammered.

"I can't tell you that, Dad. Carlisle and Jacob have told you pretty much all you need to know."

He just stared at me for at least two minutes. I made sure to shift about and softly smile as much as I should, with Edward now clasping onto my hand in support. Finally he found his tongue.

"So you don't have a choice in this? As far as the world is concerned, Bella Swan no longer exists?"

I nodded, taking care to not make the gesture too fast.

"I was gone, Dad, really gone. I didn't exist." I didn't know what else to say to him, without saying too much. "I didn't get a choice on the highway, about how I would die. I couldn't save myself. If they hadn't happened upon me, that would have been the end of the story. Instead, Edward and Carlisle got to make a final choice on my behalf: to be gone forever so unnecessarily, or to come back in a different way and deal with the repercussions of that. It's in my hands now; I choose to live out my life this way, with Edward. And I choose to tell you, so that you know in your heart that somewhere out there, I'm okay. "

He processed what I had said before he spoke. I knew that the reality of me having been very much a goner would make my sudden presence more justifiable, no matter the method.

"The repercussions mean that I have to pretend that you're dead, knowing that you're not."

"It's different than before. I'm…different. That's all I can really say." I shrugged, hoping it would look natural. "You'll just have to trust that, for whatever reason, I'm all right. More than all right. Can you just believe that I'll tell you anything you need to know? Can you live with that?"

A tear slipped down Charlie's cheek, and he scrubbed his hands over his face promptly to cover it up. The eight sets of super-sensitive eyes in the room were never going to miss it. I closed the gap between us carefully, giving him the opportunity to feel my presence and support. Every time he looked at me, it was like he was seeing me for the first time. It was almost like Edward when he saw me, except Edward's was a look of reverence, and Charlie's was a look of perplexed shock.

"I still can't get over seeing you in front of me," he said, far quieter this time. "Every time I look at you, I just can't match it up in my head. If I ever saw you again, I thought it would be to ID a corpse at the morgue. Yet here you stand and, impossibly, you seem more beautiful than I ever remembered. It's all impossible. Impossible."

His eyes fixed on mine without wavering for the first time, and he opened his arms slightly. I moved carefully to him, letting him embrace me before I wrapped my arms as softly as possible around him. He pulled back a little, and I knew I didn't feel quite right to him. Too hard, too… perfect. He resigned himself with another sigh and tucked against me again.

"I missed you, Bells."

"I missed you, too, Dad."

-x-x-x-

Esme managed to convince Charlie and Jacob to have some dinner. I still didn't know how they did it, but the Cullens managed to disguise their lack of eating so covertly. Fortunately, after the night of revelations, even the humans amongst us weren't particularly hungry. Keeping him around a little longer meant that we could really make sure Charlie's mind was reasonably at ease about this crazy situation.

"Charlie, just to reiterate that you and Jacob will be the only ones to know about this," Carlisle said as Charlie passed his plate to Alice to take to the kitchen.

He nodded out of acquiescence.

"I don't know what your thoughts are, but I don't feel like Renee should know about this. You and Jacob are already two people too many, but I feel better knowing you can share this between you," I added.

"Bells, if you were going to tell your mother, you wouldn't want to leave it any longer. It would only get harder for her to understand. But…but…oh, God." He rubbed his hands up his face and left them there, resting his elbows on his knees.

I looked to Edward with wide-eyed desperation. What the hell is he thinking? Have I destroyed him by telling him this?

He just shook his head gently and looked back to Charlie. I took that to mean that the situation in my father's mind wasn't too dire, yet.

Charlie took a deep breath.

"I understand why you don't think you can tell your mother. It wouldn't just be her, there's Phil to consider, too. He wouldn't comprehend her miraculous recovery from grief."

"That's what I thought," I agreed.

"So, no. I guess, don't tell her. I won't tell her."

I took his hand between us on the couch and gave it a squeeze. I'd been sitting on my palms in a weak attempt to make them ever so slightly warmer. He didn't flinch but it was probably more because he didn't want to think about the meaning behind my odd skin.

"Isn't there a game starting in five, Charlie?" Emmett asked casually, picking up the remote. My gratitude to this family reached a crescendo at that point. With no effort or pretense, Emmett managed to make things easier on my father.

As Alice returned from the kitchen with more Vitamin R and Coke, I settled further into the couch between Charlie and Edward as attention turned to the television. Emmett, Jacob and Charlie spent the game bantering between them easily, almost as though the previous hour hadn't occurred. Every so often I would be reminded that it had, when Charlie would turn his head to look at me, checking that I was still there. That this was still real.

In the weirdest way it felt like I had given him a breath of life. The color slowly returned to his face, his heart became more vital, not slugging along like it had been ripped out and replaced haphazardly.

Jacob suggested that he and Charlie get going not long after the game finished. He smiled at me in the shared knowledge that it was as hard for him to drag himself from the house as it was for Charlie to make the decision to.

Carlisle and Esme accompanied Edward and me downstairs to see them out.

"If you want to visit again while you come to terms with all of this, then give us a call. We're thinking that we'll take an extended holiday with Bella in a few weeks to let things settle for everyone," Esme said, rubbing Charlie's arm once in reassurance.

"So you're taking Bella on? Taking responsibility for this?"

"Of course," Esme smiled. "I love Bella like my own; we already considered her part of the family."

Charlie just nodded, a million more questions about how the Cullen family as a whole were involved in this mysterious medical miracle flashing in his eyes. I was glad he seemed to think "need to know" must encompass that as well.

I hugged Jacob lightly before he moved off the porch to wait by the cruiser. I felt everyone else shift discreetly back to give Charlie and me some space.

"I wondered if you could do me one favor?" I asked.

He turned toward me in the doorway. I pulled the small white envelope out from my back pocket.

"Could you send a letter that I've written to Mom? Perhaps tell her you found it addressed but unsent in my room?"

His eyes softened a little, like he was pleased I was doing something that might ease my mother's pain. It didn't reveal anything to her; all I wanted for her was to firmly know that my life couldn't have gotten much better and that I loved her. Just like I wanted for Charlie.

He looked at the envelope then back to me. He folded his lips in tightly, and I could see in the small lines of his face that he was trying to keep himself together again. I reached out to him and he gripped onto me tightly, my vampire body wishing it was even tighter.

"Charlie, for what it's worth, I love you more than you can possibly imagine, and I want you to be happy and know that I will be too."

"It's worth everything, kid. Everything."

-x-x-x-