Disclaimer: Although I didn't write one for the prologue, I have done disclaimers for every chapter – that's 24, not counting this one. I think you've gotten the picture by now.

Warning: I should have warned myself before writing this story. Although it's brought much fun into my writing world, and hopefully humour to your respective lives, I also write this in lieu of studying. If you all could send letters to my parents and teachers explaining my bad results…actually, scratch that. I'll get killed either way.

Throughout the wait between chapters 23 and 24, I have sprained both my ankles, had my speakers spoil, placed second in the 4 by 100m race, found out my best friend (who said he'd be away for three years) will be coming back in a couple of months, got 42 for my Maths monthly test (up two marks from last year, yay) and baked several batches of cookies. And some other stuff, but I can't remember (and I doubt you much care).

I'll only be posting this chapter once I get sufficient reviews. Perhaps I should have left a warning in chapter 24. Oh well. Needless to say, this 'threat' stands for the proceeding chapters. Please, please review. I like 'em, as they tell me that you like this.

Enjoy.

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Legolas woke up in a good mood.

At least, until he realised what day it was. September the – he dared not utter the date, or even think it in the privacy of his head. (If, of course, the contents of his head were private. This is yet to be determined.) The day he had met Koss, for the first time. One of the many days he'd been under the power of another being, although it had stuck in his mind, also being one of the shortest. Odd that now, 923 – or 924 today – years after he had first met Koss, then Lana, he was now working under her.

Best avoid her. But, now that he thought about it, Koss might know the reason for his avoiding her, and would think up suitable Punishment, Punishment that would be worse than usual because of her Bad Mood. And yet, if he acted as normal, she might perceive him as having forgotten or moved on. This was also Not Good.

Such roundabout thoughts gave him a headache. Bad enough he was walking funny because of the…Initiation.

Legolas shuddered.

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He found her in the weapons training grounds, which was a feat, seeing as he hadn't intended to look for Koss in any way. Legolas supposed that was a good thing. Perhaps.

The White City had a very good array of training facilities, especially for long range weapons. For humans, anyway. There were quite a few rings for swordfights and the like, some simple circles while others were elaborate daises with uneven flooring made of wood, and stone, and packed dirt, with various obstacles to duck under and jump over, as well as traps designed to send a person sprawling or into the air. There were numerous targets for ranged weapons, set up at different distances, heights and angles. Everything was outdoors, seeing as combat could happen in any weather, at any time.

However, there were some items that were obviously transported from Mordor. For example, no Gondorian would come up with the Super Smash Sue-Sisters, which was an odd contraption. It was large, built into the ground, and had many holes along the top like rabbit holes, through which Sues would pop up from randomly. The objective of the thing was to smash as many Sue heads as possible with the club provided. It was also well-used, and one of the Cleaning Goblins™ was scouring the surface of blood.

Furthermore there were a few rings that were fenced off. In these, fights that took place were often bloody, as they involved one or more members of the SoS, battling with one or more of the wilder beasts they kept around. Untrained Wargs, for example, or (more recently) a few of the Mirkwood spiders. The screams that were emitted from these rings were horrible, and so the crowds that gathered around them and cheered were rather large.

There was also a ping-pong table off to the side, but we won't get into that.

I've always thought ping-pong was rather evil, myself.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I was being sarcastic.

Oh.

Digression.

Yes, I agree.

…did you really have to interrupt again?

I'll, uh… I'll just be going now.

Finally.

Getting back on topic after that pointless and rather asinine interruption (Hey!),we see Koss using one of the training devices brought in from Mordor. It was a large spinning wheel, somewhat like the bastard lovechild of a dartboard and a millwheel (please don't speculate on the details of this torrid affair), and was used for target practice (specifically for throwing knives). The target? A live MarySue, of course.

So far the current target had taken on an air of invulnerability, as every knife Koss had thrown had landed just shy of her. This vexed the Sanity Keeper, who obviously wasn't in the best of moods to start with (when was she?), and the MarySue was actually taunting her. Not a good plan of action, especially when you are the one strapped to a large spinning device whilst having pointy weapons thrown in your direction. But she's a Sue. Understandable.

As Legolas neared, the latest knife, its blade simple and its hilt weighted, thudded into the wood, just beside the Sue's ear.

"Ooh, good shot!" he said, just as the Sue taunted, "Ha, ha, missed me again!"

Koss glared balefully at him, then picked up another knife from the large selection next to her. This one was cruel looking, as much as a throwing knife could look cruel.

She threw it. All the Orcs present started clapping, Legolas swallowed uneasily, Koss smiled unpleasantly, and the Sue…The Sue was quiet.

The knife had embedded itself in her head.

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Neena woke up in a good mood.

That isn't to say she didn't usually. Toddlers weren't in the habit of walking around (or stomping) with scowls on their faces, unless of course they wanted something and hadn't gotten it yet. Neena, however, was a toddler-thing that got what she wanted most of the time. And she had Muffin, for when she didn't get what she wanted (although this didn't really work with Koss). So she was a pretty happy kid.

As she did every morning (or what everyone assumed was morning, anyway), Neena made a complete mess of her bathroom. The bathroom was actually Sauron's, as it was connected to his Quarters, but as the Dark Lord never took baths (why should He?) they had sealed up the doorway leading to his rooms, and had made another into Neena's, seeing as their Quarters were side by side.

And despite having the bathroom door sealed up, Neena still managed to get into her father's rooms. How – now that was a mystery.

Anyway, after getting about an inch of water over the floors – which was a feat, seeing as the bath was actually sunk into the floor, which meant that the volume of water had multiplied, causing the bath to overflow, and not merely spill –, soapy handprints all over the mirrors, and sodden towels in inconvenient places (not to mention the strawberry-and-wet-Wawg scent that permeated the whole place), Neena was then pronounced clean enough for breakfast.

The Cleaning Goblins™, however, mourned the cleanliness of the bathroom.

Neena proceeded to make a mess with her breakfast, although none of this mess got onto her. No, instead the mess made its way onto the floor, the ceiling, all but the fourth wall (ahaha), Muffin, several Orcs unwise enough to pass by the window, and furniture all over the place, inclusive of all pieces of furniture not in the Dining Hall.

Then messes were made in (according to sequence) Sauron's Quarters, the armoury, the Kitchens, Sauron's Quarters, the stables closest to the citadel, the Library, Sauron's Quarters, Legolas' Quarters, the dungeons (although this only referred to Figwit's cell, and even then he'd made most of the…mess), Sauron's Quarters, several taverns in the Fifth Ring, and Sauron's Quarters.

And this was all before noon. Or what was assumed as noon.

Therefore, it should not come as a surprise to see a tired Koss handing out flyers to a few Avari and Haradhrim. They were chosen because of their light feet, and because they wouldn't cause as much panic when walking in the street. Even if the peoples of Minas Tirith were somewhat used to having Sauron as their EVIL Overlord, the sight of Orcs and the like still gave most of them the 'heebie-jeebies'. (This is turn made a few of the more sensitive SoS depressed.)

Oh, yes, the flyers. On each and every one of them (because they were identical, you see) was the picture of Sauron, pointing his finger straight ahead, presumably at the person who was reading the flyer at the time. The One Ring was very clearly seen on his other hand, which was clenched into a fist, and held near his chest. This took up half the page, and on the remaining bottom half were the words:

EYE want YOU

To take up the post of ROYAL NANNY

Taking care of Neena Sueling

(She's really cute, just a bit of a handful)

Applications to be sent to Frodo Baggins

(i.e. Nazgûl no. 9 ¾)

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Frodo woke up in a good mood.

This was only possible because Frodo was still a new Nazgûl, and still had a corporeal body that needed its rest. His room was positioned strategically between the two most important (to him, anyway) places; the Kitchens, and the Nazgûl Rumpus Room. It always smelled like mushrooms, which wasn't that odd when you thought about it. I mean, he'd spent more than a year without them (more or less). It was only logical that he enjoy himself – while it lasted. But once the Hobbit's earthly body degenerated, he would be unable to eat – anything.

I shudder to think what would happen then.

Digression. Par the course, with this story. But, alas, no excuse.

The littlest Nazgûl had a sunny disposition today because yesterday he'd finally been put in charge of something.

It was not a well known fact that Frodo Baggins liked responsibility. He'd enjoyed running the house when his uncle had left Bag End (although he had missed Bilbo terribly), and he'd willingly taken the Ring, surely enough. Problem with that last one was that he'd almost died, and the problem with the first one was that he probably wouldn't see Bag End again (unless he managed to convince the other Nazgûl to shift from Minas Morgul to Hobbiton – but that was another story).

So this was just the thing. Sorting out nannies for Neena – that was as restful as it could get.

He rescinded this opinion by the end of the day. There were certainly some very…interesting people. But then, you'd have to be, if you were willing to care after the SuperSue-Spawn even after hearing all the stories of her and her 'horrible' pet. (There were also quite a few MarySues, hoping to get into the citadel to ensnare Sauron/Legolas/insert hero. One or two tried to get him, but luckily he'd had the Sue-Horn handy.)

Frodo just hoped that he'd made the best choice.

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Sauron woke up in a good mood.

After all, He had every reason to do so. He was a Dark Lord who had succeeded in His plan of world domination, and was enjoying the spoils of his victory. There had been a few hiccups (He shuddered as He tried not to think of She-Who-Must-Not-be-Named-Else-Risk-Unspeakable-Torture), but what was life without a few hazards? Granted, He would have been happier without that particular hazard, but meh.

But most importantly He had woken up to a room that was as He had left it last night (or what was assumed to be last night, anyway).

As He walked through His rooms, He was pleased to see that all His things were in order. The books in His personal library were still in their bookcases, and not strewn all over the floor. His breakfast tray was untouched, instead of looking like it had been nosed through and having half the food missing or half-masticated. His collection of weapons, pointy rocks and other such shiny things were all accounted for, and not mysteriously stuck to the ceiling. Plus there wasn't Wawg fur everywhere.

He smiled, and it was terrible indeed. Perhaps He would get Koss or one of the Úlairi to pass on His compliments to the new nanny. Or, perhaps not. Word would get around that Sauron praised His employees on a regular basis – and He had an EVIL reputation to uphold, Melkor damn it.

Ah well. Fear was as good an incentive as praise. Or so He supposed.

Sauron sat, overlooking His city, and ate his breakfast of Krispy Kittens (washed down with the blood of some unfortunate).

He enjoyed it tremendously.

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Koss woke up in a good mood.

This immediately put her on edge, as she had always ever had an excellent reason to be in one, rare as they were. And yesterday she'd gotten bitten by Muffin. Oh, it had been an accident, and after the Punishment Koss went to the Houses of Healing to get it cleaned and bandaged, but it still hurt like Udûn. And she hadn't even gotten to kill a Sue recently, or even torture one.

Quelling the urge to smile, Koss narrowed her eyes and looked around her room suspiciously. Everything was in place. Not one sign of vegetation.

She quickly changed into a new set of clothes (she'd draw a bath later, or make one of the non-allergic-to-water SoS do it for her) and scrutinized her Wall of Weapons. Although Grond Jr. was out of the forgery – and it looked extremely EVIL – it was simply too heavy for Koss to wield with her less dominant hand. She selected the shortsword she'd used in the Sod Hunting Range™, but just before leaving her room she paused and instead picked up a nasty looking club with spikes. She felt like crushing skulls.

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Evilman 47 woke up in a good mood.

This was a new frame of mind (at least in the months leading up to today), as he'd previously been displeased, frustrated, in planning mode, or any combination of the three. That's seven types of moods, although non-inclusive of any other minor moods like peevishness or disappointment. Anyway.

And why was he in a good mood? Well, all his planning would be paid off today. Today was the day he claimed his birthright, the day he got what he so rightly deserved, the day he showed his father what he was really made of. (Besides bone and sinew and such.)

This last was strictly metaphorical, as his father was dead, and by Evilman's hand, at that.

He got up off his icy throne, and strode impressively out into the courtyard, where his legion awaited. They were rather intimidating when laying siege to an enemy fortress, although this effect was rather spoiled by the fact that they were all shivering. They did not seem to share their Master's immunity to frostbite. Maybe it had something to do with his genetic makeup – oh, but I am getting too far ahead of myself. Don't want to reveal everything, now do we?

Evilman smirked, and lifted a hand. The majority of his army flinched, as they knew what happened to the poor sods that had gotten that hand pointed at them. However, they all breathed a sigh of relief when their Master merely waved his hand at the sky.

"Plane shift!" he called.

And then there was only whistling snow.

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No footnotes this time, which makes me feel rather odd. And, yes, I know that this is short. Bear with me. I'm not feeling particularly creative today. Maybe it's the juice.

Oh, and in case you didn't know, every time the perspective changes, it's a different day.

Anyway, liked the foreshadowing? Tee hee, I bet not. But it'll be interesting, I can guarantee it. And besides, in my experience, readers mostly review when they're outraged. Damn, I should really stop giving hints.

Still, it's not all bad news. I am opening a spot in the IWNNN family – the Royal Nanny. Yes, that's right, you guys are welcome to apply. Just copy the bolded text at the bottom, and send me an email. But, for those people who I've already written into the story (e.g. Avari Faye, Bree, Fili) I'm sorry, but you are not eligible for this. Unless no one else wants it. *winks*

Anyway, enjoy. Pleasepleaseplease review.

Anila.

What is your name?

Where are you from?

Age, gender, hair colour, general appearance.

What are your views on MarySues, GaryStus, and the like?

What are your views on the Dark Lord Sauron?

What do you think of Neena Sueling?

How would you make sure Neena Sueling listens to you?

How would you discipline Neena Sueling?

Are you prepared to accept the consequences of Neena Sueling misbehaving?

Do you like pets?

Do you like spiders?

Do you like Wargs?

Have you heard of Muffin, and if yes, what are your views on… It?

Do you have any combat skills?

Alright. Let's try a little word association test, shall we?

Men.

Elves.

Dwarves,

Valar.

Butterfly.

Leggy.

Sauron.

Minas Tirith.

Thank you. Now, if you don't mind going back to the waiting room, and telling the next candidate to enter. I will announce my decision at the end of the day.