*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much*
"So, Ken," I say as Renee and I are sitting down on the couch in the living room and I hold Kennedy on my lap. "Renee told me you asked her if you could call her mommy last weekend when Daddy was away. Did you?"
"Yes, Daddy," she says. "I did. I want to call her mommy."
"Why do you want to call her mommy?" I ask her as I look at Renee and she looks at me with a smile. We both discussed that we would sit down and talk to Kennedy about the mommy thing. I'm fine with her calling Renee mommy but I want to know her reasons for wanting to call her mommy and want to remind her that while she calls Renee mommy that Saige will always be her birth mommy and now her angel mommy. I also don't want her to replace Saige with Renee. It wouldn't be fair to Saige.
"Because I love her," she says with a smile. "I love her and she takes care of me like a mommy does. I want her to be my mommy," she says.
"So you want to call her mommy because you love her?"
"Yes, Daddy and because when Renee is here I feel like we are a family, I feel like she is my mommy. I know she's not my real mommy but she's like a mommy to me. I like when she plays with me and she cuddles with me. I like when she watches TV with me and does all the stuff that mommies do with me. Can I call her mommy, Daddy?"
I smile at her and brush a piece of blonde hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear as she looks at me for an answer. "Renee and I discussed this while we were working. I am okay with you calling her mommy," I say, "but remember that Saige is your mommy and Renee isn't here to replace her."
"I know, Daddy. My mommy Saige has a very special place in my heart and now Renee does too." She motions for me to lean my ear down to her. I smile and do as she says. She cups her hand and whispers into my ear. "I love Renee a lot. She reminds me of my mommy."
"Me too," I say with a smile and tears in my eyes.
"And I know she loves you," she whispers, "and I think you should marry her, Daddy."
"Kennedy," I say as I move my ear away. "That's a discussion for another time but as long as you know that Renee isn't here to replace or take the place of your mommy then I have no problem with you calling her mommy. Renee doesn't mind it either. I just want to make sure you understand she's not replacing your birth mommy. Your mommy loved you very much and she still loves you very much. I'm sure she would give anything to be here with you as you grow up."
"Why did that guy kill my mommy?" asks Kennedy.
"You know about that?" I ask.
"Yes," she says as she wraps her arms around my neck. I look at Renee and she nods at me as we make eye contact.
"I'm going to give you two some time to talk and go do some laundry," she says as she stands up and she walks past me stopping to kiss Kennedy's forehead and to kiss my lips softly before she makes her way out of the living room. I appreciate her giving me this time to talk to Kennedy but I wish she would have stayed. This is the first time Kennedy has asked me about the death of her mom. We have always spoken that a man hurt her but never that he killed her.
"So, Daddy, why did that guy kill my mommy?" she asks again with her bright blue eyes deepening with sadness as mine do the same. "Did Mommy do something bad?"
"How did you know about that?" I ask.
"I saw it on the internet," she says, "and some girl in my class asked me why someone killed my mommy," she says with a shrug. "Why did he do it?"
"Kennedy, I don't know. There are people that say he was an angry and unhappy man. He was upset with your mommy for something that had happened in the past and he wanted to hurt her for that."
"Did he shoot her like the internet says?" she asks.
"When did you go on the internet and why are you searching this stuff?" I ask and I realize I snapped a little on her.
"I'm sorry, Daddy," she says, "I just want to know."
"I'm sorry, Baby Girl," I say. "Daddy didn't mean to yell at you. It's just really hard for me. How did you find it on the internet?"
"I wasn't looking for it," she says. "I was looking for you. I wanted to write about you for school and how you're my hero. I wanted to write about your wrestling. When I put your name into Google it came up that someone shot mommy in the grocery store. You never told me that. You only told me that someone hurt her. Why didn't you tell me the truth?"
"You were too young to understand," I say with tears in my eyes. I knew the day was going to come but I didn't expect it to come this soon. "From now on, Kennedy, no more google searches unless I am around better yet if you have a question for me about my career or me, ask me don't search me on the internet. There are things that Daddy has done that he's not too proud of and I don't want you seeing them or reading about them at 6. I know one day you will but let's try not to do this at 6 okay?"
"Okay," she says, "Was mommy a bad person?"
"No, she wasn't, Kennedy. You know this. You know she wasn't a bad person. She was a very nice person. She had a really big heart. She was always caring about other people and loving other people. Kindness was what her life was all about. She just had a high powered job that sometimes she has to put people away in jail for a really long time and that's what happened with the man that shot her in the grocery store. HE did something bad and he went to jail. It made him angry and he blamed mommy for his own mistakes. He wanted to kill her," I say as a tear rolls down my cheek. Kennedy reaches up and wipes my tears away making me smile. "Sometimes people do bad things, Kennedy. There are bad people in this world which is why we have to work so hard to be good and bring the goodness in the world just like your mommy did. I wish I had all the answers for you about this Kennedy but I don't. I can tell you this though," I say, "your mommy died being a hero."
"She did?" she asks.
"She did," I say with a smile. "She was saving a little girl's life by risking her own. She died a hero. She tried to talk to the guy that shot her out of it. She was trying to save everyone in the grocery store. Your mom was a good person and even in the bad times she was still shining her goodness and her kindness."
"Is it okay for me to be mad at the guy that killed my mommy?"
"It's okay to be upset about it," I say, "I was upset about it and sometimes I still am upset about it. It's okay to be upset, Kennedy."
"Because I am mad about it," she says, "REALLY mad sometimes I want my mom to come back. Why did she have to die, Daddy?"
"It was her time to go," I say. "God needed a special woman to be a very special angel," he says. "She hasn't really gone away. She is always with you, Kennedy. She watches over us every day and she is always with us. You will never be without your mommy."
"I know, Daddy," she says. "Do you still love Mommy?"
"I do," I say. "I will always love your mommy. Nothing will ever change that. She will always have a special place in my heart just like she has that special place in yours. She would have loved to be here when you were growing up but she sent someone special to be here for those times."
"Renee?" she asks with a smile.
"Yes," I say with a smile.
"So you are going to marry her?" she asks.
"I didn't say that," I say, "But she's not going anywhere any time soon. Why do you want me to marry her so much?"
"Because you love her and she loves you. Everyone knows it, Daddy," she says with a smile. "Mommy won't be upset if you do."
"I have to think about it, Kennedy. I do love Renee a lot."
"I know, Daddy," she says with a smile. "You don't have to tell me. She reminds me off my mommy."
"She reminds me of your mommy too but she's different and that's what I love about her."
"I know," she says.
"I'm going to change the subject now but I want to ask you something."
"Okay," she says.
"What do you think of being filmed?"
"Filmed?" she asks.
"My boss wants me to do a documentary for Wrestlemania that will be on the network sometime after Mania. He wants to include you and other family. I wanted to know how you feel about that?"
"I don't know," she says. "I would like it will people know who I am?"
"Do you want them to know who you are?" I ask. "Because I don't want your face or name used on camera, we're just going to do back shots and your face will be blurred out."
"Why?" she asks.
"Because I want you to have your privacy you don't understand it now, Kennedy but you will. When people are known to the world I wouldn't say that I am completely famous but I am famous among wrestling fans which is a pretty good majority of people. People know who I am if they watch wrestling and if they see me on the street or in a store somewhere they might ask me for an autograph or a picture. You've seen it before."
"Yeah," she says.
"And you're someone very special to me," I say, "but you didn't ask for me to be on TV or be a wrestler that's just how it happened. I don't want your pictures and you ending up on social media or on Google. I want you to grow up with a normal life and putting you on camera will take away that normalcy. You will be out there to the world and I don't know how I feel about that."
"I think it's cool, Daddy," she says, "People at school already know you're my daddy. They know you're on TV. It wouldn't be new to me."
"Are you okay with being on camera and answering questions? Do you want them in our home and following us around at Mania?"
"I don't mind," she says. "I'll do it."
"Are you sure?" I ask.
"I'm sure," she says. "I want to be on camera."
"Okay," I say going against my better judgment. I understand that it's going to happen someday. I know I can't keep Kennedy or my private life hidden forever. I know one day some fan or someone is going to find pictures of my family and post them on the internet. It is what it is. I can't stop people from doing it but I can control what I allow them to see. "Are you sure, Kennedy?"
"I'm sure, Daddy," she says with a smile.
"All right as long as you're okay with it I am okay with it but don't be surprised if your friends from school see your pictures on the internet or when you type in Kennedy Ambrose that you pop up in Google."
"That's okay, Daddy. I'll be famous like you," she says. "No one really knows me or you," she says. "I know the internet lies."
"At least you know that," I say with a smile. "Thank-you," I say.
"For what?" she laughs as I tickle her.
"For being understanding of everything daddy does for you and for us to put food on the table. I give up a lot of time with you to work and you accept that and you always understand when people ask for autographs and pictures on our time together. Thank-you for handling it the way you do," I say with a smile.
"It's just life for us, Daddy," she says with a smile. "You're always going to be the best daddy in the world," she says with a smile.
"Thanks," I say with a smile. "I love you."
"I love you too, Daddy," she says before I kiss her forehead before I tickle her and she erupts into a fit of laughter trying to get me to stop. This is what life is all about for me. It's all about being a good dad and making sure my daughter is happy. That's what it's always been about. I don't care who knows me or thinks they know me. I don't care what anyone thinks about me on social media or on the internet. I don't care what anyone's opinion of me is the only person whose opinion matters to me is Kennedy's. I live and breathe for this little girl. I do what I do for her so that she has all the opportunities in her life and has everything she desires. She is healthy and she's happy. That's all I want and that's all I need in life. Coming home from a long trip or after being gone a couple days just to hear her small and tiny voice and to feel her arms around my neck makes it worth it. Being a father is the greatest gift Saige ever gave to me.
RENEE's POINT OF VIEW: The Next Day!
"Renee," says Elena as we sit down to have lunch together after she greets me with a hug which I find a little uncomfortable but I'll go with it. "I'm so glad that you could have lunch with me today. You too, Julia," she says giving Julia a smile.
"I wanted to get to know you and give you a chance to know more about me. I know it can't be easy for you to see me in Dean's life and in Kennedy's life," I say.
"It's not easy. It's taking some getting used to," she says with a smile, "but you seem to make Dean very happy and Kennedy just adores you. You're all she talks about."
"I love Kennedy," I say with a smile. "She is such a beautiful child and she's amazing. I love her."
"I'm glad," she says as the waitress comes to take our drink orders. "Kennedy does need that female role model in her life. She seems to look up to you and from what I have seen you are wonderful with her. Do you have kids of your own?" she asks.
"No," I say. "But I love kids. I have two nephews one is 6 and the other is 4. I try to spend time with them when I get a chance."
"That's cool so they are both about Kennedy's age. Has she met them yet?"
"Kennedy hasn't met my family yet," I say. "I would like for her to but that's Dean's call. I don't think he's ready for that yet."
"You have met all of us," says Julia. "You just have to give Dean time, he's still wounded after Saige but I have to say since you two have been together he has been happier and I have seen him changing. I didn't think he would ever love again. I am grateful you are in his life. He's had a tough time of things," she says. "He had a rough time growing up and then in his early wrestling days he struggled with some personal demons but he got it straightened out. He met Saige, they got married and had Kennedy. Then they lost her. Dean's world fell apart again and then things got tough for him again. He started to battle some demons but he won the fight. He's a good guy and then you came along and he's just happy. You make him happy."
"I know I'm being patient with him. I know he loved Saige. I know he still does," I say with a smile. "It's hard for him. We're just taking it slowly and just letting things happen when they are supposed to. We're not rushing into anything."
"That's good," says Julia.
"Did you know Saige?" asks Elena.
"I didn't know her," I say, "I heard of her. When I came into the WWE was around the time that Dean had lost her. I think I was in WWE for a couple months before he lost her. Everyone was talking about it. I felt really bad for him when I heard the stories of him losing her. Then when he came back I was just there for him. I talked to him about it. I think I may have been one of the few people he felt comfortable talking with."
"So you've known Dean for a while?" asks Elena.
"Yes," I say, "We've been friends for 2 years," I say. "He was very nice to me when I came up from NXT. He was one of the few people."
"That's good," she says, "I love Dean. He's a good father and he's a good man. I was happy he was married to my daughter. She was lucky to have him. And Kennedy is the luckiest girl in the world to have him as a father. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his baby girl and there is nothing that she wants for except," she says, "except for an Earth mommy. She has said it many times and I'm happy that you're stepping up to that role. Thank-you."
"You don't have to thank me. I love Kennedy as if she were my own. I'm not trying to replace Saige and I never will. That's not my intention. My intention is to love Dean and Kennedy and make them happy. I will love Kennedy as if she were my own."
"That's wonderful," says Elena with a smile as the waitress comes back with our drinks and takes our food order. "So do you and Dean have any plans to get married?"
"Not exactly," I say, "we have said we aren't talking about marriage or kids for a while. I mean I would like to get married someday but I am okay with not getting married. I understand why he wouldn't want to get married again."
"And kids?" she asks.
"I would love to have kids someday maybe one or two but again it's Dean's decision. Whatever happens in life is what happens. We aren't going to force it."
"I like that outlook," she says with a smile. "So you and Dean are buying a house? Are you staying in Las Vegas or moving out of Las Vegas?"
"We are staying in Las Vegas. I didn't want to disrupt Kennedy's life. We are going house hunting after Mania right now it's just too busy to focus on moving. We need to focus on Mania. Then once it all dies down we'll focus on personal stuff like moving."
"I see," she says. "So you're from Canada?"
"Yes I am and I lived in New York before I moved to Vegas."
"I see," she says, "What do you want to come out of your relationship with Dean?"
"I just want to be happy with someone that I love. I accept who he is, who he was and all the things he's been through. I accept the fact he has a beautiful little girl and I accept that she is his number 1. I just want to be happy with him."
"That's a good goal," she says.
Lunch isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't mind talking to Elena. I can understand her concern about me being in her granddaughter's life and I can understand her fears of me taking Saige's place. I'm not doing that. I have no intention of doing that. I would never do that. I want both Dean and Kennedy to feel the need to visit Saige's grave, talk about her and love her. Saige was someone special to them I understand that. I would never try to take her place. All in all it was fun. I think I like Saige's mom and I know I love Dean's mom. We talked about some TV shows we watch and music of course. We didn't just focus on my relationship with Dean. I enjoyed myself.
I walk into the house and shut the door behind me. "Dean," I say. "I'm home."
"Living room," he says. I make my way to the living room and smile when I see him lying on the couch watching TV. "Hey," he says with a smile as he sits up. "How did it go?"
"It was fun," I say. "It wasn't as bad as I thought. I really like Elena and I love your mom. They are awesome," I say as he takes my hand and pulls me over to him.
I straddle him wrapping my arms around his neck as his hands slide up and down my arms. "I'm glad you had fun," he says before he kisses my lips softly. "I'm sure it wasn't easy."
"I was nervous. I thought she would hate me but she doesn't."
"I think as long as she knows that you're not trying to take Saige's place in Kennedy's life she is all right. Did you tell her that Kennedy calls you mommy now?"
"Not ready for that," I say with a smile as he kisses my arm softly. "I don't think she is either."
"Probably not," he says, "but it's going to happen."
"I know," I say with a shrug. "We'll deal with it then."
"Yeah," he says with a smile. "Right now I want to deal with you," he says with a devious smile
"Isn't Kennedy home?" I ask.
"Yeah but she's upstairs in her room watching TV," he says, "she didn't want to watch TV with me."
"Oh," I say with a smile.
"Come here," he says wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my chest. "I need you." He moans into my chest before he lies me down on the couch as he towers over me. He looks down at me with his blue eyes and a smile on his face before he leans down kissing my lips softly as I run my hands through his wild hair gently pulling on it as we share a passionate kiss.
"What are you doing?" asks Kennedy.
"We were just um talking," says Dean as he breaks the kiss and sits up on the couch as I do the same.
"It looked like you were kissing," she says with a smile.
"Okay," he says, "yes we were kissing. That's what people do when they are in love. What can I do for you Kennedy?" he asks taking my hand into his.
"I'm bored," she says. "Can we watch a movie?"
"Sure," he says. "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asks me.
"I'm down for that," I say as I bite my lip.
"What movie, Sweetheart?" he asks Kennedy.
"Batman," she says. "I want to watch Batman."
"You're so my kid," he says with a smile before he gets up to get the Batman movie for us to watch as Kennedy climbs up on the couch.
Dean is getting things ready for the movie and Kennedy climbs up and whispers in my ear. "I want you to marry my daddy."
"I'll see what I can do," I say with a smile before Dean joins us on the couch before he hits play. Kennedy cuddles up to me as we watch the movie together and Dean reaches over the couch and strokes my shoulder with his thumb as we spend this time together as a family. I feel like we are a family and I enjoy these moments with my two favorite people.
*A/N: What did you think of Dean's conversation with Kennedy? Did he handle it well talking about Saige's death? What do you think about Dean asking Kennedy about filming? What did you think of Kennedy's reaction? Do you think she has gotten used to the life of having a famous dad that it doesn't bother her anymore? What did you think of Renee's lunch with Elena? Did it go better than you thought? Do you think Kennedy will end up pushing Dean into asking Renee to marry him? Please review and thank-you for reading. I also posted a new Dean story called Sobriety. Check it out if you want. :)