SCENE TWENTY-FIVE: OH THE IRONY
INT. KIRBY'S HOUSE – MORNING
*The scene begins the next morning in Kirby's kitchen, where she and Dewey are being interviewed by Drew, while Draco films from the other side of the room.*
KIRBY: …I guess it means we have the chance to move past this…again…but as a family.
DREW: And what impact do you think this whole ordeal will have on Emily Carroll? Discovering not only her brother was a heinous killer, but her best friend was too?
KIRBY: She was stronger than anybody else last night…she'll be fine. And she won't be Emily Carroll for much longer…I think Emily Reed has a better ring to it.
DEWEY: Or Emily Riley…we haven't decided yet.
*The two laugh, and Drew smiles.*
DREW: And what of your futures? It must be hard, Mr. Riley…losing your wife?
DEWEY: Ugh…well…
KIRBY: Sabrina Waller was a…talented actress…but she was very liberal…when it came to what she wanted for Dewey…she wanted him to move on….and he is.
DREW: Oh? Something in the works already, so soon?
DEWEY: No, I…
KIRBY (smirking): She's lying in the hospital as we speak…the knife just missed her heart, but Dewey didn't.
DREW: Well, congratulations, Mr. Riley…dare we ask who Ms. Reed is referring to?
*Dewey glares at Kirby, who is grinning madly. He gets up from the table, and takes off his microphone.*
DEWEY: I think you have plenty, Thompson.
DREW: Just a few more…
DEWEY: Don't push your luck.
*Drew nods in annoyance, and stands up, walking towards Dewey with an air of finality.*
DREW: Thanks so much for the interview, Mr. Riley…you have no idea what this is going to do to my career.
*Dewey looks past Drew and winks at Draco.*
DEWEY: I didn't do it for you.
DREW: Ah, well…it's good of you regardless. Do you mind if I use your bathroom?
DEWEY: Of course…let me show you to it.
*Dewey leads Drew from the room; Kirby walks up to Draco who is packing away his camera. He is bruised and looks the worse for wear, but smiles as she approaches.*
KIRBY: So…you made it.
DRACO: You can thank her for that.
*Draco points out into the living room, where Emily is sitting down watching a movie.*
KIRBY: From what she told me, I can thank you that she is still here too.
DRACO (blushing): Ah…I dunno about that.
KIRBY: I didn't know you media moguls were into modesty.
DRACO: Again, not media…just a camera…
*Kirby leans forward and kisses Draco. She pulls away from him, with both of them smiling.*
KIRBY: Sorry…couldn't help myself.
DRACO: Believe it or not…I'm not complaining.
KIRBY: Me neither.
*There is a bit of an awkward silence.*
DRACO: You know I have to leave, right? My work here is kinda done.
KIRBY: I know…I was just hoping that…you could stay one night, couldn't you?
DRACO: One night…is it worth getting hurt for, Kirby?
KIRBY: I…haven't…been with anyone ever since the execution…I just thought…maybe it's time to move on from…him.
*Kirby looks down, embarrassed. Draco, smiling, steps forward and fingers her chin, lifting her head to his.*
DRACO: I'll talk to Drew.
*He kisses her softly, and picks up the camera and leaves the room. Kirby walks into the living room; we can now see that the movie Emily is watching is 'Scary Movie'. It is approaching the end of the film.*
KIRBY: Hey…what are you doing, kiddo?
EMILY: Just watching Scary Movie.
*On screen, Ghostface stabs somebody. Kirby looks away, disgusted.*
KIRBY: That mask…why are you putting yourself through this?
EMILY (hesitating): Just something Luke said before Draco shot him…it was weird.
KIRBY: You don't need to worry about Luke anymore…he's dead.
EMILY: I guess not…
*Kirby gets up, smiling.*
KIRBY: And maybe his movie was meant to have a happy ending.
*Kirby walks back towards the kitchen, where Dewey is now sitting again. Emily leans in further as, on screen, characters BOBBY (Jon Abrahams) and RAY (Shawn Wayans) taunt CINDY (Anna Faris) around the kitchen with a knife.*
[BOBBY]: The point is, Cindy, that I'm a new man…and I'm willing to leave all of this behind to start a new life.
[CINDY] (upset): So you kill all your friends?
[BOBBY]: Oh, no…just you…and maybe Shorty, but that wasn't planned or anything. But here's the genius part – we're copycatting a serial killer who already exists…
*Emily's eyes widen in shock and realisation.*
EMILY: …the irony…Scary Movie…Luke's inspiration…
[BOBBY]: It's the perfect crime, Cindy.
[RAY] (madly): But wait! There's more! Hang onto your seat, baby; coz this one's a screamer! I'll be back…
EMILY (screaming): Dewey! Kirby!
*The two run back into the room.*
DEWEY: What's wrong?
EMILY: Luke said his murders were ironic!
KIRBY: So?
*Emily pauses the movie and points at the screen.*
EMILY: He was copycatting the real killer! Don't you get it; the real killer is still out there!
DEWEY: What do you mean?
EMILY: Luke wasn't the only killer!
KIRBY: So he had a partner?
EMILY: No! Luke never went to LA…I knew it didn't add up…he never killed the couple on Halloween…he didn't kill Eric! He was using the 'execution' murders as a cover for his own motives!
KIRBY: Then who did it, then?
DEWEY: Wait…the couple on Halloween…
KIRBY: The Miller's? What about them?
DEWEY: Drew Thompson got to Virginia pretty quickly, didn't he? Not to mention Hollywood after Sabrina died…hell, he was already there…both times…
*The three go quiet as they realise what Dewey means.*
KIRBY: It's Drew…
*The three are broken up by the sound of a window smashing in Sidney's room.*
KIRBY (screaming): Sidney!
*The three run down the hall and open the door, with Kirby leading the way. She runs straight into a body that is hanging right in front of the door, innards hanging out, a camera shoved into the open chest. The head of the body is disgustingly twisted around on itself, hiding its identity.*
KIRBY (screaming): Aah!
*Kirby jumps back, and Dewey spins the body around. His mouth gapes open as he discovers the dead body is Drew.*
DEWEY (shocked): Drew?
KIRBY: Sidney!
*Kirby runs to the crib, but screams in anguish. Sidney is missing, along with the killer. All that is left in the crib is the Ghostface mask, and Eric's mobile phone. The window is smashed open and a trail of blood leads out into the streets. Dewey runs out of the room and out of the house. In the cot the phone begins to ring; Kirby grabs it and answers it straight away.*
KIRBY (crying): Where's my baby…huh? Where is she?
*A familiar voice rings out over the phone.*
DRACO: Hush, Kirby…its naptime. Wouldn't want to wake Sidney up, would we?
END SCENE