AN:
Well guys, it's been awhile hasn't it?
First of all, Happy New Years to all my wonderful readers and thank you so so much for being a part of this story. Each and everyone one of you are inspirations to me and a huge support to this story!
Secondly, I must apologize for how long its taken for this chapter to come out. I have a lot of excuses though. *cries* I've been under a whole lotta slag recently with struggling to pass my exams, Christmas, New Years, my dad having his 3rd surgery this year on his leg, as well as starting up art commissions on my tumblr and DA. Thankfully everything has turned out okay for now and so I can finally get back to writing!
I can't tell you how great it is to be able to post another chapter! I missed this so much to be honest and it feels really good to be writing again!
To Guest:Thanks so much for the lovely comment! Unfortunately, I think FFnet cut your review off short!
To Sunsetwater: You are right about Skywarp and locking onto spark signatures, but it's still not entirely normal -especially for a mostly dead mech. Thanks for the input though! The way I see it is that Starscream is a very fact driven mech and he doesn't like things to just happen without proven cause, so he chooses to deny things until proven. Sorry for such the long wait and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
To MadnessJones: Barricade is indeed in trouble, but don't worry, I won't hurt him too badly! XD Thanks for reviewing!
To lizyeh2000: She is indeed at that, much like the scraplet he has taken to calling her! Hope you enjoy this update as well!
To Yogurt Bread:Thanks so much for the kind review!
To BarricadesDemon216: Haha, I'm glad you liked my version of Hook! Thanks for understanding about Uni and stuff as well, you're an amazing person and I really appreciate the encouragement!
To himelove22: Yep, 'Cade is definitely in trouble! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this update!
To SunnySides: Lol, I always love reading your reactions to each chapter! Here's the update, it's not soon by any means, but it's finally here!
To Purest of the Hearts: Don't worry! Barricade isn't dying yet! Haha XD. But yes, he's not going to be a happy camper when 'Screamer gets through with him. And you are dead right about Thundercracker, but shh, don't get too far ahead!
Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot.
Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!
Always
"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."
Marcel Pagnol
Chapter Twenty-Six
Alexis milled around the alcove for what felt like ages as they waited for Barricade to come out of stasis. Starscream had settled nearby outside after listening to her pace and sigh for all of twenty minutes. He had given her a sharp look, but she had ignored it with a scowl. She had to keep moving.
She followed Starscream outside after a few more minutes of distracted pacing and one last glance at Barricade's unmoving frame.
She had a lot of questions, but now didn't feel like the right time to start digging for answers.
She tried to tell herself that it was okay. That she would understand in time. That Starscream would explain everything eventually even though she knew it was a false hope. She figured that she would just have to be patient, but that was easier said than done.
Alexis liked to think that she was pretty patient for her age all things considered. She did find herself waiting a lot. But in reality, she had no patience whatsoever and any she did have was a cold lesson never quite learned.
The small girl looked up at the large span of wall littered with faint lines, each one representing a day since Starscream had first found her. One mark for every night she remembered. She had long since given up on counting each mark, just adding a new one each day out of habit. They seemed to lose their meaning the longer that she was in the ruins. Everything seemed to lose meaning out here.
It was more like time seemed to lose its meaning.
She kept putting up a new mark every day, but it wasn't as important to her. It was just another part of her routine.
Routine was important to her. Vital even. When she had nothing else to rely on she could just keep on doing the same thing she always did. The sun would set and then she could start again. And that kept her sane.
No that wasn't true. She knew she was mostly not crazy, but it was hard to tell sometimes. The days she screamed until her throat was raw made her feel slightly less than sane. Or patient for that matter.
But then there was Starscream, she could rely on Starscream.
That was the only reason she was still alive. Except for Barricade. Her guardian hadn't always been there for her, but whenever she needed him most he showed up and that was almost enough. She needed him with every bone and ache in her body. Whenever he was gone it felt like she was just a cold and empty shell just waiting to come back to life when he returned.
Barricade was her friend, if one stretched the meaning of the word, her mentor; but it was Starscream that she needed.
Was it a normal thing, to be so dependent on someone who wasn't even human, like she was? Alexis didn't know and it hurt to try and contemplate it too much. Nothing in her life was normal.
Probably the fact that she even was alive wasn't normal. She swallowed thickly.
"Starscream?" Alexis found herself asking softly. "Why did you save me?"
Looking down at her feet the way she was she couldn't have seen the way the seeker's frame stiffened at her question, but she felt his tension none the less.
He took a long time before answering, and Alexis worried that maybe he wasn't going to answer. But eventually he shifted, looking at her unwaveringly with crimson optics.
"Because," Starscream started, thinking hard. Why had he saved her. Because his spark insisted? Because he had to? "Because you were there." He finally wound up saying simply.
It was the most straightforward answer he could give. There were so many things that could have contributed to his saving of the tiny human child; for all he knew it was a processor glitch from his injuries at the time.
Alexis frowned, finding that his answer wasn't what she had hoped it would be. She honestly didn't know what she wanted to hear though, so she decided to take her guardian's word for what it was. She could at least believe that he wouldn't lie to her.
But why was she here? Why was she alone?
The small girl opened her mouth to ask just that when a loud crash make her jump and sent her clumsily tumbling near the edge of the outcropping she had climbed up to be nearer to the massive seeker beside her.
She wasn't even falling long enough to let out much more than a short yelp when she landed with a soft thud inside the curve of Starscream's servo.
Her eyes widened as her heart started pounding rapidly and she smiled nervously up at the mech glancing down at her with sharp red optics. Starscream's lip plates pursed disapprovingly but he said nothing, choosing instead to investigate the source of the commotion.
Alexis swallowed thickly and clung to Starscream's thumb like her life depended on it. Starscream in turn had brought his servo close to his chest plates as he ducked into the alcove. Her heart felt like it was beating loud enough to hear, but it wasn't herself she was afraid for.
The small cavernous inside had partially caved in and dust floated heavily in the air, swirling around the seeker's frame as he moved. Alexis pulled the edge of her sleeve to her mouth to filter the air so that she wouldn't choke.
A loud creak of buckled plating alerted Starscream to a movement on his right and he whipped around too fast for Alexis to track while cupped her in his servo and Barricade found himself pinned to the crumbling wall of the alcove by his throat.
"Stand down, Barricade. You don't even have enough power to fire that thing." Starscream growled darkly.
The black and white enforcer's plasma blaster powered down with a low whine and Barricade slumped against the wall with a pained groan.
"My apologies, Starscream, I believed you to be an Atzohbohtz."
The seeker released the damaged enforcer and he slid the rest of the way down to the floor, "Just be thankful I didn't shoot you where you stood." Starscream scoffed, as he glanced down at the girl in his servo.
Alexis blinked rapidly at the dust floating around and sneezed, not once, not twice, but three times before rubbing her eyes. A grin split her face wide and her brown eyes locked onto Barricade's face and dim, but still aware optics.
"'Cade!" she exclaimed happily as she leaned over Starscream's digits. "You're okay!"
Barricade made a face, he wasn't really all that 'okay', but he was at the very least functional and that was better than being offline. "Close enough." He grunted weakly with a shallow optic roll at the naive girl.
The sarcasm went right over the human girl's head, but Barricade felt the slightest bit relieved that he had at least managed to keep the Autobot scum away from the girl.
Starscream's servo tightened a fraction around the human child he had claimed as he watched Alexis's brief interactions with Barricade. His spark whirled tightly and his optics narrowed at the reaction.
Alexis glanced at Starscream, confused by the sudden sour feeling in her stomach.
The seeker set her on the ground gently, his digits easily pulling out of her reach.
"Wait outside." Starscream stated tonelessly.
Alexis's face scrunched up, not sure what was going on. Whatever it was she didn't like the dark feeling she was getting from her guardian. "I wanna stay here." She whined softly.
Starscream didn't allowed himself to look back down at her face as he repeated himself once more, this time more harshly. "Go outside, Alexis."
"...but-"
"Now!" Starscream barked, effectively cutting her off.
Alexis jerked back and bit her lip to keep it from trembling, but the tears were already falling. He wouldn't even look at her. Why wouldn't he look at her?!
With a choked sob, the small girl scrambled out of the alcove.
Just as soon as Starscream judged her to be out of hearing range he threw a clenched servo into the wall just a few inches from Barricade's helm, causing the already destabilizing building to shudder and rain down more debris on the two mechs.
Barricade didn't flinch. He didn't show any reaction to the seeker's display despite the new hole next to his helm. Not that his reflexes were very effective at this point in time.
"I understand that you led the Autobots away from the girl."
The black and white scout nodded jerkily and grunted.
Starscream vented harshly and pulled a field repair kit from his subspace before tossing it roughly at Barricade.
"I suppose I should thank you then, but I rather enjoy watching you squirm." Starscream drawled coolly, his posture at ease but his tone menacing.
Barricade vented slightly, but that was his only sign of irritation towards the seeker. "I did not intend to engage the scout, only to lead him away from the girl."
"Hmm, yes, well I can see how well that worked out for you." Starscream snorted.
The red and grey seeker crouched down and jerked the repair kit open and started working on the large gash on the scout's side with quick and efficient movements. Barricade hissed and strained to hold still; efficient by no means meant painless.
The two were silent for short moment.
"I don't understand it. Why did you come back?"
Starscream didn't respond immediately, his digits working smoothly on splicing a coolant conduit back together. Barricade couldn't know of his... connection to the girl. It was bad enough that he knew of his claim on her, knowing the details would only make things more complicated than they needed to be.
"You opened your comlink briefly before going into stasis lock." Starscream stated simply, pinching a wire a bit harder than was necessary.
Barricade flinched, but continued his prodding anyways.
"Yes, I know." He grunted, before smirking slightly, "I'm touched that you found it in your spark to care about my wellbeing."
"I care little for you, enforcer," Starscream hissed, taunting the mech with his former title. "My only priority is the human."
The black and white mech frowned but decided that he was too exhausted to continue fighting with the mech that was supposedly repairing him. Barricade knew that there was something about the girl that Starscream just wasn't going to tell him and that was fine with him for now. He could in fact be patient. Not that Starscream's secrecy would last for long; he was sure it would only take a question and the human girl would tell him everything concerning the seeker.
Starscream finished his work on Barricade's side and pulled away, casually flicking a drop of the enforcer's own energon onto the mech it came from.
"Well, I guess you'll live." The seeker stated vaguely as he inspected his digits and briefly wiped them down with a rag from him subspace. "Alexis will be pleased, no doubt." He said, his tone clearly not expressing the same relief as his ward would.
Starscream prodded the bond gently to call the girl back, making a face when her unskilled attempts at responding echoed through his spark roughly.
Shortly after Alexis's head poked around the corner, her face red and puffy as she brushed her hair from her face.
Starscream's spark pricked him sharply in response to seeing her obvious distress at being sent away.
"Come here, scraplet." Starscream ordered lightly, almost kindly despite the slight edge to his words.
Alexis looked at him carefully for a long moment before sidling out from around the corner, her knapsack clutched tightly in her arms.
"Is- is 'Cade okay?" She asked quietly, unsure what his mood would be like since she left. He hadn't been very nice since he came back and she hated it when he yelled at her. It made her feel tiny and useless and sick on the inside.
It wasn't even the yelling that was the worst part, it was the feelings she could feel coming from Starscream that made her want to throw up. They were very very bad and she was too young to understand most of the feelings except to know that they felt almost evil.
Starscream's optics narrowed, not pleased that her first concern would be the injured scout. "He is fine." The seeker stated curtly.
Alexis glanced over at the black and white mech slumped against the wall and then turned back to Starscream doubtfully.
Barricade chuckled weakly at the seeker's expression, "She learns quick for a human doesn't she, 'Screamer?"
Any response Starscream might have had for the scout was promptly drowned out by the flood of glee coming from the small child sprinting past his pedes. "'Cade!" Alexis squealed happily as she scaled Barricade's armour with a swift familiarity that made Starscream's spark burn. "You're al'ight!" She grinned and placed her hands on either side of the black and white mech's faceplates, arms stretched wide in the closest she could get to a hug.
Barricade didn't say much, not wanting to move his face while she clung to him and grunted a soft confirmation.
"I- I told you he was fine, did I not?" Starscream sputtered slightly, his tone increasing fractionally.
Alexis turned and scowled at her guardian, "I wanted to make sure of it for myself." She snapped irritably. Then she smirked marginally and planted a big sloppy kiss on Barricade's cheek plate.
Starscream's spark flared hot with jealousy. The bearings of that girl!
Barricade guffawed weakly, his systems falling back into repair mode. Ever so slowly he pulled the girl off of his face by the folds of her hoody and placed her disgruntled form back on the ground.
Alexis squawked in annoyance when she was swiftly scooped back up by Starscream before she even had time to regain her balance. "Hey!"
Her ire was short lived however, because her attention was quickly drawn to Barricade's slumped form as his systems gusted choppily and his optics darkened. The small girl's eyes widened in concern and she leaned precariously over the edge of Starscream's servo before he got a better hold on the squirming child.
"Stop your incessant moving! Barricade is fine, he's just gone into recharge." Starscream barked lightly, his tone more resigned than anything else at this point.
Alexis rubbed her face roughly, wide brown eyes glancing upwards. "He jus' sleep'n?" she asked for confirmation.
The seeker vented heavily, "Yes."
"Oh." The small girl sniffled once more and was finished. "Okay."
She gave him a sheepish smile and hugged his digit tightly and Starscream's spark felt ten times lighter than it had been before. He quelled the feeling best he could, the warmth of it making his helm spin as if he'd overclocked a processor.
"Better now?" He asked softly, that same warmth managing to leach through his vocals.
Primus help him he was helpless when it came to this tiny child.
Alexis nodded, but didn't let go of his digit. She couldn't. Not without risking him leaving her again so soon. "…missed you." She mumbled vaguely into the strange warm metals of his finger her questions and worries forgotten for the moment.
She felt Starscream's servo tighten just the slightest around her, "I- I missed you as well, scraplet." He answered hesitantly, stumbling over the soft words.
Suddenly, Alexis let go of his digits and scrambled down his arm and onto the ground before he could even process her movements. She grinned up at him, brown eyes glinting mischievously at his somewhat stunned expression.
"I have somethin' I wanna show you! Com'on!" She told him excitedly.
Starscream sat bemusedly in the alcove for the next few minutes as she ran back and forth with armfuls of the things that she had found or that Barricade had brought for her. She was like a sparkling showing all her toys to her friends, Starscream thought briefly. He found he enjoyed listening to her idle prattle though, so he listened carefully as she recounted how she found or collected each item.
So far she had found a broken hand mirror and had told him very seriously that it was special because some beast of sorts had used it to find a bell. If his face plates had shown confusion, Alexis pretended not to notice. Next she had delighted in demonstrating how she brushed her hair with a small handled brush. Her hair was dirty and grimy, but the girl cared little as long as it was smooth to the touch.
Starscream's spark twisted tightly at the sight of her, his focus beyond her words and attuned steadfastly on her movements and appearance. She was small, she had always been small, but now she was tiny -sickly and frail looking. Wide brown eyes cast shadows on sunken cheeks and the bundles layers she wore did nothing to hide the way her bones stuck out of the over-sized clothing.
This was not enough for anyone to live. And it was certainly not enough for his sparkling.
"Starscream?"
The hesitant calling of his designation brought his attention back to the child crawling up the side of his thrusters and onto his legs.
Alexis looked up at him, hundreds of questions burning in her gaze, but she only asked one. "Is everything alright, Starscream?"
Starscream ex-vented slowly, "Ah, no. Everything is not alright, my spark, but it is better now that I am here." The seeker found his own usage of endearment confusing, but shuffled it away to process later, instead focusing on how his sparkling's face lit up with delight at his words.
It was a most disarming reaction for him. His words were not usually the kind that warranted any kind of positive feedback, much less to the extend they seemed to bring this tiny human.
"I really missed you." Alexis said meaningfully, repeating her earlier words.
Starscream spark hummed lightly at this and Alexis smiled, reaching one small fleshy hand to press up against his chassis to feel the vibrations.
Then he saw that strangely familiar glint in her eyes before she started scaling the front side of his chassis, up alongside the smooth glass of his cockpit and then towards the venting panels towards the top.
Starscream said nothing aloud, but his shock was clearly telegraphed through the strengthening bond. Alexis giggled and kept climbing, slipping up only once and even then she caught herself before he could react to catch her.
Apparently reaching the place where she wanted to be, Alexis curled up contentedly above the seeker's spark -nestled tightly in the panelling around his vents.
"What do you think you're doing, scraplet?" Starscream asked incredulously at the child, but she was already fast in recharge judging by the dormancy in their connection.
Starscream felt no pressing need to remove her and decided to review his data on human development and the experiments done on the energon he'd brought to the Nemesis.
Alexis woke up groggily, the distant pulling sensation in her chest too strong to be ignored.
"Starscream?" she yawned, stretching carefully from her perch on the seekers chassis.
She waited a few moments, but there was no response from her guardian. He must be sleeping then, she reasoned.
"In recharge," she corrected herself out loud.
Alexis hummed absently, her brow furrowed as she prodded the connection with Starscream. It was hard to hold onto the link. It was always there, ever present but she could only just feel it and she could never quite reach it. Every time she thought she'd gotten close enough to grasp it, the wisp of a bond slipped right through her mind.
Alexis growled lowly in her throat, a sound not usually heard from small girl's such as herself. It was wild and feral sounding, betraying her time spent with only Barricade for company.
Tugging roughly at her end the best she could, she waited.
She could feel more than hear the shift in the thrumming vibrations of Starscream's spark, but other than that there was no response.
Alexis huffed agitatedly at this and set about to climbing the rest of the way up to Starscream's shoulder.
The pulling sensation continued, but she had determined that it wasn't Starscream. His touch was distinctive and when she felt him it was just about the only time she could really touch the bond. This was not that.
This… This felt far more clouded, like seeing someone from behind a thick curtain.
Alexis was confused. This hadn't happened before.
Scrunching her face up in concentration she pressed hard into the fog, only to have it smother her and leave her gasping for air.
A twinge of fear seeped through her. Whatever it was had noticed her.
Only then did Starscream start to shift, sensing her fear flowing through him like a sieve. There was a single brush of reassurance and then all pit broke loose.
A harsh crack echoed in the air and the smell of burnt air followed soon after. Without thinking, Starscream reacted -plucking Alexis off of his shoulder and throwing her to the side. The small girl screamed as she landed on her pile of tarps and bounced off of the wall, cracking her head harshly against the cement in the process.
There was a bright flash of purple and then her vision went black.