The disclaimer is digging through your garbage... better stop it! So here it is, the long-waiting (HA) sequel to The Brotherhood Rocks! This one takes it a little further, but otherwise, it's more of the same... oh, damn, I'm supposed get you interested here, aren't I? Well, uh... THIS IS THE GREATEST STORY EVER WRITTEN. Oh, and excuse the grammar.

Sometime in the middle of the night, a security guard double-checked one of the warehouse cells he was guarding. A rather large new crate had arrived earlier that day, and while the guard thought he had heard breathing, quite talking, and what sounded like "SHUT UP LANCE," he ignored the crate and continued around the warehouse. Seeing that everything was okay, he left to check on a different warehouse further down the lot.

The top of the crate flew open and a certain silver-haired teenager rushed out of it, taking deep breaths of air.

"How could I let you idiots talk me into this?!" he screamed.

"Hey, settle down," Todd said as he hopped out. "All th' others are used to me manly musk."

"No we're not," Wanda said. Now that they were free to move around, she gave Todd a quick hexing and he flew into a pile of crates. Lance then climbed out of the crate and rubbed his eyes. The box seemingly tipped itself over, and Fred crawled out.

"Okay, now that we've all taken a moment to fill our lungs with some refreshing air," Pietro announced, "We've got work to do." Todd hopped from box to box, putting his ear against each of them and knocking to see if he could tell what was inside. After a few minutes, he waved to the others. Fred then popped open the indicated crate.

"We found you at last," Pietro said. He lifted a pair of drumsticks. "The band is back together!"

X-Men: Evolution
"The Brotherhood Rocks!: The Reunion"
King of the Worthless

Because Mystique wasn't around, they decided to set up in the living room instead of the basement. Lance, who had already gotten himself another guitar, handed his old one to Wanda.

"Uh... I don't play."

"Neither do we!" Fred said. Then, the single worst thing that Wanda could ever remember having to withstand happened. No suffering prior to that had ever caused her so much pain.

There was no sound in the world worse than the Brotherhood jamming.

"STOP IT!! STOP IT!!" They guys stopped before Wanda could hex their weapons, after all, they had just gotten them back. Weapons? I meant instruments. "Look, I'm going to go stay in a motel or something until you guys either learn to play or stop altogether!"

"Honey, wait!" Wanda slammed the door behind her. "Aw man, she left me! She left me!"

"Okay, that gives us some room to practice," Lance said. "Okay, you guys get used to your instruments again while I go look for our old music sheets."

"She left me!"

"Dammit, Toad!" Pietro yelled. "Settle down already. You'll get her back as soon as you learn to play the bass correctly."

"Oh, you sayin' I ain't good?!"

"Of course I'm saying you 'ain't good!' You were the reason we never got that record deal! I mean, at least Fred got the hang of his keyboard, and his hands are the size of lawn chairs!"

"Thanks I... hey!"

"As for me, I've already mastered this!" Pietro started his high-speed drumming. It sounded like bizarre beatless techno. "See? I've got beat AND rhythm, and I'm only one guy!"

"Yeah well you got th' ego enough for all four of us!"

"Ego is proportionate to talent, Toad, so it's well-deserved." Lance came back downstairs with a few sheets of notebook paper. "Okay guys, here's our stuff." After a few warmups, they band finally started.

"We ain't no Harry Potter fans! We're a fucking rocking band! We're gonna rip your ears right out! We're gonna go and get take-out!" Lance continued playing and singing, but the others stopped.

"Lance..."

"Now we gotta drive around! You're a stupid fucking clown!"

"LANCE!"

"You're a forty-dollar whore! You're a stupid fucking door!"

"LANCE!"

"WHAT?!"

"Stop singing!" Pietro yelled. "Just stop!"

"Why?" Lance said, clenching his fists. Todd and Fred decided not to get involved.

"You sound like a dying goat, that's why! Why don't you let me take over on vocals, hmm?"

"No way! You're not the frontman here! That's why you're the drummer!"

"Drummer nothing! I'm the best looking guy here! I deserve the front spot!"

"Hey, how about we get someone besides you two to sing for us?" Todd suggested.

"Oh, like who?!" Lance yelled.

"Like my girl, foos."

"One," Pietro said, "She's not your girl. Two, she can't stand the sound of our beat for some reason, and three, she's a witch. Like I said, I'm the best candidate for the job."

"I kinda like Toad's idea," Fred said. "She's got the look for a lead singer and all."

"Damn straight, yo. Now let's put this to a vote. All in favor of Lance as lead singer?" Only Lance raised his hand. "All in favor of Pietro?" Only Pietro raised his hand. "All in favor of Wanda?" Todd and Fred raised their hands. "Majority rules, yo."

"NO IT DOESN'T!" Lance yelled. Bits of the ceiling started crumbling. "I STARTED THIS BAND! I WROTE ALL OUR MATERIAL! I'M GOING TO BE IN THE SPOTLIGHT, YOU HEAR ME?!"

--------------------

"Okay then," Fred said. "Let's get down to business." The Brotherhood and Wanda met in Fred's room, where he had made a desk of sorts out of his dresser and a chair. "Now, under this new contract, Lance and Pietro become co-managers and each get an extra ten percent of the profits. Wanda is the new lead singer, and she gets an extra two percent. All three will appear on all our album covers, and each will have equal amount of screentime in each video."

"Looks like we've got it all down," Todd said. "You can sign now."

"Fine!" Pietro said. "I'm gonna get all the groupies anyway."

"I don't NEED groupies! Once she sees I'm successful, Kitty'll come back to me."

"HAH! You just keep believing that, Lance! I'll be paying child support payments for eighty-nine illegitimate children, which I'll be able to afford since I'll make a fortune on endorsements alone, while you're sitting in your shack hoping VH1 does a special on you!"

"Both of you shut up!" Wanda yelled. Their chairs started to squeak.

"Alright, alright. So we're even now. Happy, Pietro?"

"Yeah, but I'm still better than yo-" Pietro fell on his ass when his chair suddenly collapsed. "Okay, you've made your point, Wanda."

And so, the band was finally settled. Lance "Avalanche" Alvers on guitar, Todd "The Toad" Tolensky on bass, Fred "The Blob" Dukes on the... keyboard... Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff on drums, and Wanda "The Scarlet Witch" Maximoff providing the vocals. The band saw initial success as a grunge rock band on the local circuit, but conflicting egos would bring about The Brotherhood's downfall.

--------------------

"Good show tonight," the club manager said. The Brotherhood was getting their equipment packed up after doing a show. Pietro was talking to a few would-be groupies, and as always, Fred and Todd did most of the work, under the "supervision" of Wanda.

"I dunno, I wasn't feeling it today," Lance said. "I mean, I like what we do, but people just don't like grunge, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know. I'll be honest with you, you only get an audience because of the Maximoff twins there."

"Yeah, I know. I think we need to find our own style, though. I was thinking we could stick with grunge, but maybe emphasize less on vocals and more on guitar... you've seen a lot here, what do you think?"

"Go for it," the manager said. "Just keep the Maximoffs and you've got a few guaranteed followers." As the manager oversaw a few final details before closing the place, the band gathered on-stage to discuss Lance's idea.

"No way," Todd said. "We don't have enough emphasis on Wanda's heavenly voice! We should keep the guitar, keep the bass, keep the vocals and drums, but lose th' keyboard. Fred, can you play a trumpet?"

"Trumpet?! Hey, you're not thinking of making us a ska band, are you?"

"Nah, nah, we're not goin' ska... we're just goin' in a new direction."

"Fuck no," Pietro said. "As much as I like the ska-inspired idea, I think we need to drop the bass and guitar. Just based on vocals, keyboard, and my maginificent drumming, we could make it on our own with a dance-groove."

"You trying to cut us out, Pietro?" Lance asked.

"Maybe."

"We're too upbeat," Wanda said. "We have to get a little more... moody. We need a tone, a message."

"No goth!" Fred bellowed. "I think we can leave out this stupid keyboard, and I can just play a regular guitar. We'll be country/rock!"

"NO," they all said in unison.

"I have an idea," Gambit said. He seemed to have been sitting with them the entire time, but nobody had noticed. "How about you ditch this band idea and go after your own individual goals?"

"That's a great idea!" Pietro said. "I don't need you losers to hold me back!"

"Hey! Hey! We just got the band together!" Fred pleaded. "C'mon, let's at least try!"

"No way! I'm not going to let this sinking ship drag me down with it! I'm going solo!" Pietro turned his back on the others and crossed his arms.

"We don't need you anyway!" Lance said.

"You know what? I'm quitting, too," Wanda said. "I've got a good voice. Nothing personal, but you jerks just haven't had enough practice."

"Hey, we-"

"If Wanda goes, I go, too!" Todd announced.

"Now wait just a minute!"

"Fuck this!" Fred said. "I tried to keep the band together, but you all walked out on me! I don't have to stand for this!" Everyone walked off the stage in separate directions, leaving Lance alone in the spotlight. He sighed, and walked away.

--------------------

Ten years later, the former members of The Brotherhood were all busy with their new careers. Pietro Maximoff had kept his old name as DJ Quicksilver, a hit in the dance club scene. Fred Dukes now called himself The Amazing B.L.O.B., and his mix of rap and country had a cult following, especially in his homestate of Texas. Wanda Maximoff and Todd "The Toad" Tolensky joined the band Asteroid Belt, which had a style so radical that it could not be placed in any genre. As for Lance Alvers, he formed his own grunge band, Avalanche, which had recently hit number one on the charts. The Brotherhood would have remained separate, had it not been for a meddling mutant...

"This looks like the place," Wanda said. Ten years older, Wanda had let her hair grow down to her waist, but her style in clothing remained the same. She and her bandmate/would-be groupie Todd had arrived at a parking garage in Bayville, where they were to meet someone for a new gig. The man on the phone had specifically requested only they show up, so they did. Todd had grown a long dirty blonde beard, which was just as filthy as his equally long hair. He wore a leather jacket and shades. "We've been here for an hour, Toad. When do you think he'll show up?"

"I dunno, Wanda. Bein' back in Bayville makes me remember all th' old band. I wonder what they're all doin' now."

"Probably living in the same dump."

"Yeah... we were all so full of dreams. I'd hoped that by now you and me, we'd have a family, with a few tadpoles."

"Yeah, I remember your sick emphatuation with me. Imagine us getting together!" They laughed.

"Er... it ain't too late, is it?" Just then, a small caravan of luxury cars appeared, blasting hip-hop music. The cars all parked, and a crew of rappers jumped out, all dancing around for some reason. The Amazing B.L.O.B. stepped out of his car, wearing a thick leopardskin coat, a wide-brimmed hat with a feather in it, and carrying a black cane. A barely-dressed girl clung to each of his huge arms. Oddly enough, all of B.L.O.B.'s entourage wore cowboy hats, even his girls.

"Yo yo yo yo!" Fred yelled. "B to tha L to the O to the B my dog ran away and I'm from Tennessee!"

"Yo, Freddy!" Todd yelled.

"Tha Toad is in tha house! Scarlet Witch, where you been, no adultery, that's a sin!"

"I thought you were going country," Wanda said.

"Country, that's for hens, I got my Mercedes Benz!" Soon, a small truck pulled up, with the words "DJ QUICKSILVER" on the side. The side of the truck opened up to reveal a turntable and large speakers.

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Pietro yelled. He had strange pink glasses and spiked hair. "Hey, Wanda, Fred, Toad! What are you jerks doing here?"

"Waiting on a new gig," Wanda said.

"I'm here to party like there's no tomorrow! My truck broke down and I'm feelin' sorrow!" One of Fred's lackeys played a quick banjo solo. "Livin' large, I'm high and in charge, I'm so big I fill a barge, my momma her name was Marge, saddle up, yo! You're momma's a ho! I ain't wearin' no 'fro!"

Lance then walked up to them. He looked exactly as he did ten years ago.

"Okay. What's all this?"

"We got a gig, yo."

"YO YO YO!"

"Yo, foo!"

"Yo, Yo, Yo! See, I know! There's some things you gotta understand about Toad!"

"SHUT UP!" Lance yelled. "Can't you idiots see we've been set up?!"

"That's right!" Kitty said, phasing through the wall. "There is no new gig. I just wanted you guys to patch things up!"

"Why?" Pietro asked.

"Because I'm so tired of Lance whining about the old band!"

"Ooh, let me guess! You married Kitty, Lance?! HA! You're a one-woman man! I KNEW IT!"

"SHUT UP, PIETRO! At least I've got a family to count on now! Once your career's done and your money's gone, you'll be jamming out in the alley!"

"No way! I've got too much style and talent for that to happen!"

"See, this is why we never got back together," Todd said.

"Then how about this," Kitty suggested. "You guys all make up, or I get a certain someone to settle this."

"Oh? Who?" As soon as Pietro asked, his truck tipped over. He climbed out quickly. "No way... not..."

"I'm afraid so, Pietro," Magneto said. "I am alive."

"NO! I KILLED YOU!"

"You killed a conveniently placed mechanical duplicate. But don't worry. I've given up my evil ways and I've joined the X-Men, and my old friend Charles, who is handsome and intelligent."

"Uh..."

"Now, all of you are going to get back together, or I'll have to kill you all." Suddenly, Magneto disappeared. Kitty gasped. Professor Xavier had been messing with their minds, but one of his wheels had fallen off, courtesy of a certain witch. Kitty quickly took the Professor and disappeared behind the wall. Beast, who had been hiding behind the truck to aid the illusion, also ran off.

"Look, if you guys want to be a band again, I'm all for it," Wanda said. "Just as long as you keep the egos down."

"Yeah, me too!" Todd agreed.

"The B.L.O-"

"You can stop that now, Fred."

"I wanna get back together again, too. Count me in!" Now it was all up to Lance and Pietro.

"Look, Pietro, I know we have our differences, but I'll admit it. I missed you, pal."

"Oh, you big lug!" Pietro ran to Lance and hugged him. Any hug from another guy would've been odd to Lance, but this hug lasted fifteen seconds.

"Pietro, you can let go..."

"Hey, have you been working o-"

"PIETRO!"

"Okay, okay. So it's settled. The Brotherhood is back!"

And so, The Brotherhood was a band again. Combining their unique styles, they formed their own unique sound that could not be placed in any genre... except now that were were two bands like this, there was competition. The Brotherhood didn't last long as a band, as their only other real rival, Asteroid Belt, had gained two new members and now stood as the most popular band in history. The Brotherhood returned to their old house to sulk.

"Okay, so we didn't make it as a band," Lance said. "So I guess that's that, huh?"

"Yeah. Just bums me that we can't go back to Asteroid Belt because Mystique and Sabretooth took our places."

"Well, at least we still have each other."

The following day, they all committed suicide.

The End

That should do it. Hey, anyone have fifty cents I could borrow?