A/N: There's probably a name in SVU canon for Father Denis' church, but this is my AU. Also remember that the departure point for this story is after RAW—no divorce, no baby, just a separation for the Stablers.
Parking lot
Saints Peter and Paul Roman Catholic Church
Queens, NY
11 July
Father Denis held up the line of departing worshipers to spend an extra few seconds with the Stablers.
"It's good to see the three of you," he told them.
Elizabeth's nod was borderline polite; she was more intent what was coming after Mass—an afternoon with friends at the roller rink. Kathy responded with a kind word about Father Denis' sermon while Elliot's smile was just lopsided enough to show he knew the real reason for the priest's joy.
If Kathy and I are back together, he doesn't have to play go-between for us... that gives him more time to practice his golf swing....
Standing there in the church narthex, they were a mismatched trio: Elizabeth in jeans and layers of cotton pastel shirts pulled low at her waist to make her parents happy, Kathy in a yellow and green sun dress with a sweater to ward off the over-active A/C in the sanctuary, Elliot in a dark blue shirt, navy slacks, and a sport coat in a brown that Kathleen called "baby poop."
I know, I know... I don't have any taste or style... even Cragen is dressing better than me... but I like this jacket....
The abrupt change from inside lighting to high noon sunlight made both Elliot and Kathy pause on the top of the church steps to shade their eyes. Their daughter was too busy looking for her friends to be bothered by the glare.
"They're here, Mom," Elizabeth announced with a sweep of her arm to indicate a yellow Xterra stopped by a hydrant across the street, its back seat occupied by three girls. "Is it okay if I go now?"
Kathy turned to look at Elliot. Elizabeth jumped down two steps and pouted at her parents.
"Mom! Don't say 'I have to check with your father.' You already said I could go and everyone's waiting on me!"
"Don't whine," Elliot told her. "Have a good time and be home by—"
"—6 p.m.," Kathy completed his sentence. "You still have math homework to do."
The smile prompted by Elliot's permission vanished with her mother's pronouncement. Elizabeth turned and dashed for her friends, using only a wave over her shoulder to take her leave of her parents.
"I've been thinking about boarding school," Kathy said. "Maybe something in Alaska."
"For you or for Lizzie?"
She blinked at the thought then smiled.
"Might be a good business to go into—away camp for moms who can't afford Saint Tropez or the Bahamas."
A hitch in Kathy's voice told Elliot there was something deeper in her quip.
Dr. Jackson said Kathy really regretted taking our kids and leaving, but it was her last-ditch attempt to get through to me... cutting herself off from the little support I gave her in the hope I'd finally notice how much we we need one another—her, me, the kids... all of us....
He nodded his understanding of both the quip and the message.
"You can call it 'Camp We Deserve Sainthood for What We Put Up With.'"
Kathy's gaze drifted to where Elizabeth was getting into the Xterra.
"Oh, yes," she said. "You got that right."
Elliot turned toward the parking lot next to the church as he said, "You're doing a great job. Some day, Lizzie will realize that."
Kathy fell into step beside him.
"With my luck, she'll wait until she has teenagers. Anyway, I don't want to spend my afternoon without kids talking about them."
She peered at him sideways as they walked, her lips parted in a doubt-filled smile.
"Are we still on for doing Dr. Jackson's homework assignment?"
Elliot's teeth automatically clenched.
Oh, yeah... 'find a neutral place—a restaurant or picnic area—and let Kathy know what you're dealing with at work and in your life... you don't need to give her all the gory details, but you do need to tell her how your cases make you feel and how they affect your view of your family and your life. Next week, it will be Kathy's turn to tell you about her situation.' Telling my wife about pedophiles and rapists over lunch sounds good, real good....
And yet, as Kathy watched him work his jaw until tense muscles loosened, he knew it had to be done.
Kathy knows I talk about this shit with everyone else in my life... if I'm going to fix things between us, I got to include her, too....
"I'm not describing crime scenes in the middle of Alfano's Sunday lunch crowd," he told her. "I'll get thrown out. Mind if I skip some of the details?"
Kathy's head bobbed in reply. "I don't need to hear everything, Elliot. I just want to understand what matters most to you. It's not like I'm going to join you and Olivia while you work your cases."
He forced a grin to keep his jaw from clenching again.
It's me and John now... that's how far out of the loop she is....
"That's part of what I have to tell you," he said as they entered the parking lot. "Olivia and I... well, we're not—shit!"
"What, Elliot?"
He jerked his head in the direction of his Jeep, parked halfway up the second row of cars. Benson's car was parked in the next space with her leaning against its front fender. She wore tan slacks and a green cotton sweater over a cream shell, clothes both Stablers recognized as work dress.
"I didn't hear your phone," Kathy said. "You don't have to go in, do you?"
"I turned it off before Mass," he said with a shrug. "If anyone was coming to get me, it would be Munch. We're working together now."
Kathy's eyebrows rose as she glanced from Olivia to Elliot.
"You're not partnered with Olivia? Why?"
"It's part of what I'm supposed to tell you. C'mon—let's see what's up with her."
He quickened his pace with Kathy matching his stride next to him, her sandals clicking against the concrete. Their sound alerted Olivia, who jerked around at their approach.
She's biting her lower lip... that means she's on edge... great—last thing I need is a blow-up here at church... maybe she won't go postal if I stay polite....
"Hey," he said in greeting. "Didn't expect to see you here."
"Hi, Olivia," said Kathy. "How have you been?"
Olivia took a step toward them and swallowed once before answering.
"I'm doing fine, Kathy. Elliot, I need to talk to you."
Elliot opened his mouth to say that now was not a good time....
... 'never' works best for me...
... but Olivia did not wait for his reply.
"Look," she said, "I know it's Sunday and you two probably have plans, but I need to tell you that... well—"
She grimaced, her mouth twisted as though tasting sourballs, before continuing,
"...that list of Tammy's. You were right; taping it to the fridge was below the belt. I should have tossed it with the rest of her trash."
Kathy tipped her head and blinked in confusion. Elliot wondered what the hell Benson was up to.
She only apologizes for little things—a 'Sorry' if the deli forgot the jalapeño chips or if she steps on my feet in the elevator... she must need something from me—something big....
He planted his feet and folded his arms across his chest.
You want something? You can damn well ask Fin....
Olivia ignored his reactions as she forged on.
"And the Sikkens case—well...."
She paused for a deep breath.
"I took pity on an old man and forgot about his victim. After all the cases I've worked, I should know better."
Elliot's blood pressure jump as he fought the urge to sneer back at her.
'...the cases you worked'... I thought we worked them together... guess you forgot that part, too....
Her gaze flicked from Elliot to Kathy then to the asphalt between them.
"When I found out how wrong I was, I got all pissy and blamed it on you, which made everything worse."
Her gaze came back up to meet his.
"Elliot, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, either."
Elliot held himself perfectly still, the sounds of cars leaving the church parking lot drowned by the pounding of blood through his veins.
Nice words, Benson... you probably practiced them on the way here... did you plan to trap me at church where I can't tell you off ? What's your real game?
He said nothing in reply. The moments stretched long while Kathy stared at him and Benson shifted her stance in the silence.
"I want to fix things," she finally said, a hint of exasperation raising her voice. "Every thing's shit and someone has to make it right."
His lip curled with disgust.
"Right? Right like you lying to Cragen so you could work with Fin? Right like you sniping at me every chance you get?"
"No!" she snapped, then quickly lowered her voice. "That wasn't right—that was stupid. I was..."
She sighed deeply.
"I was running from being wrong about Sikkens. Now, I'm lead and I can't run from this. I have to try and fix it."
At that moment, Kathy placed her hand on Elliot's upper arm. Its light pressure reminded him of all the times she had used the same gesture during arguments with his dad, his in-laws, and their children.
She thinks I should step back and think this through... count to ten....
He glanced from Kathy's anxious frown to Benson, whose lower lip was hooked back behind her teeth again.
She's worrying about how it's going to turn out... okay, so she didn't have to drive up here to start a fight... she could have jumped me at work... maybe she isn't working an angle... okay, I'll give it a couple seconds...
Elliot uncrossed his arms and shook out the tension in them. He then stuck his hands in his pants pockets and tried to look calm and casual.
I'm supposed to forgive the way I'd want to be forgiven... If Olivia really is swallowing her pride, I guess I can try, too....
He drew in a deep breath then blew it out slowly.
"Yeah," he said, "it has been hell recently."
Olivia nodded her agreement.
"I could use some help putting the pieces back together—"
"—because we work better as a team," he replied.
Her eyes widened in surprise then Olivia smiled, a slow upturn of her lips that made her look young and happy.
I just finished her sentence for her... back in the partner groove that fast?
He smiled in return and felt as though a ton of stress was lifted from his shoulders.
Yeah... that fast....
Kathy gave his arm a squeeze.
"Proud of you," she whispered.
Before he could respond, she turned to Olivia.
"Elliot is going to tell me about the past few months over lunch," she said. "It sounds complicated and he might need back-up. Would you like to join us?"
Elliot choked back a chuckle.
'Complicated' just doesn't describe it....
He took his hand from his pocket and slipped it around hers.
"We're going to Alfano's. That's where Cap and Judith had their first date," he told Olivia. "I can show you where they were making out."
His arm jerked as Kathy turned back to face him.
"What?"
The question held as much disbelief as curiosity. Olivia answered her first.
"Like you said, Kathy—it's complicated. If you don't mind, I'll beg off on lunch; I have some errands to run this afternoon."
The smile on her face tightened as she took a step toward them.
"If you get a chance, call me before you come in. John and Judith got into it again this morning and looks like Cragen's taking disciplinary action. We'll probably be working at half-strength for a while."
The news rocked Elliot back on his heels. Only his awareness of being on church property kept him from expressing his annoyance in appropriate terms.
"Jeez, what was it this time?" he asked.
Olivia's shrug did not answer his question.
"You two have a good lunch," she said instead. "Kathy, I'll talk a rain check, if you don't mind. Ill fill you in on all the juicy stuff Elliot skips."
With that said, she opened her car door and drove off. Her wave as she passed the two of them was accompanied by a big grin. Elliot's smile was more thoughtful.
So she really did apologize... and she really did have a reason for coming up here... sounds like John and Judith screwed it big time... the way Cap's been recently, I'd have bet nothing short of weapons discharge in the squadroom would get his attention....
As soon as she stopped waving back at Olivia, Kathy stepped around to face Elliot.
"Who's Judith and why was Captain Cragen making out with her at Alfano's?"
Elliot's breath caught in his throat.
Okay... might as well start there... it is the point when everything went to hell for us...
"You heard about Chief of Department Sullivan resigning?"
She nodded. "Your CO was involved in that?"
"We all were," he said with a sigh. "It was a undercover operation that began over in that meeting room."
He pointed at the parish hall before opening the passenger door for her.
"Get in and I'll tell you all about Operation Chestnut, the gift that keeps on screwing."
JavaJones
Varick Street
11 July
The coffee shop was busy, surprising on a day when Olivia expected people to be spending their afternoon outdoors. She claimed an empty table by snatching a much-read Sunday Ledger sports section from a chair and tossing it onto the table as she strode past. After ordering, she then brought back two large coffees: one regular, one with skim and Splenda, and two cranberry muffins.
Fin can consider this a bribe if he wants... I'm thankful he spared me a few minutes before shift....
Her plan was simple: get Fin to agree to play nice with Elliot, Couch, and her.
Executing the plan—well, that's the hard part... he's not thrilled about Couch trying to make sergeant, so that's one problem... after the fight over Tammy's list, Elliot and I both were on Fin's wrong side—Elliot for telling him to butt out, me for saying Munch was acting like a jilted lover... Fin meant it when he told me never to mention that topic...working with him yesterday was like being chained to a glacier....
The front door opened and Fin paused at the threshold to survey the interior.
Getting the lay of the land... and sneering at the yuppies giving him the nervous eye... I know he's just being a cop—I did the same thing, but no one edged away from me... it's a mixed group so it can't be color... must be Fin's expression and that black hoodie....
She hid a smile behind her hand.
If they knew it really does hide a firearm, they'd all pee their pants....
When he spotted her, Olivia pointed at the foam cup opposite her own and waved him to her. He finished his visual check of the place then came over and sat down.
"Hey," he said as he claimed his coffee with a hand around the cup.
"Thanks for coming, Fin."
"This about Munch?"
The coldness in his voice warned her to tread carefully.
"Not directly. You know what happened today?"
He nodded once. "Dan Womack filled me in; he thought we were still partners. He said Munch got himself and Judith in trouble with IAB."
Olivia sipped her coffee.
I'm not here to debate guilt or innocence... I'm here to eat more crow....
"Maybe not with IAB," she said, "but definitely in trouble. I'm assuming that, whatever happens, it's gong to leave us short-handed. Given how rough yesterday was and how I started the argument that got everyone riled—"
Fin leaned back and shook his head.
"Don't."
She started to protest his interruption, but Fin kept talking.
"The stress got to all of us. You don't have to say anything. We're good."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. I just needed a day to get over it. You and me, Stabler and Sofarelli. We'll manage."
His use of last names threw her off-stride.
'You and me'? I was thinking you and Couch... I just fixed things with Elliot, so we're back together...
Olivia drew in a big swig of coffee to buy time.
"Do you know if Elliot knows about the sergeant's exam?" she asked.
Fin puzzled through the idea while he removed the lid of his coffee and blew on its contents.
"Don't know. I heard Couch begged off Elliot's Fourth of July party at the last minute and they ain't talked much since. Being as they were partnered in uniform, it's possible Elliot knows."
He blew on his coffee once more then took a swig of it.
"You willing to work with Couch?" she asked.
Fin narrowed his eyes as he considered the question.
"Yeah," he replied. "I don't like it, but I'd do the same as Couch if I wanted to be sergeant. You willing to work with Stabler?"
Olivia kept her gaze steady as she answered.
"I went up to Queens this morning. Elliot and me—we're good."
Only someone who had worked closely with Fin would notice the slight twitch in his cheek muscle before he nodded his approval of that bit of news.
Yeah, Fin—I actually said "I'm sorry"... it wasn't as bad as I feared, but it certainly wasn't fun...
"Okay then," she said, "you and Couch, me and Elliot—we'll hold things together."
Thirty-five minutes later, she was holding people apart—the people being Elliot and Sue Lynde. They were in the hall by the air shaft, halfway between the elevator and the squadroom. Olivia had a grip on Sue Lynde's arm, keeping Sue from launching herself at Stabler. Fin had set himself between the two detectives, his back to Lynde, his hand raised to warn Elliot to stay back.
Physical separation did not stop the argument.
"I don't care if they're the two best shots in the universe," Lynde shouted. "I saw them go for their weapons."
Elliot leaned left to glare at her over Fin's shoulder.
"That's bull," he replied, "and you know it."
"Enough!"
The bellow came from Cragen, who bore down on the four detectives from the squadroom. Fin took a half-step away from Elliot to face the captain Lynde tore her arm from Olivia's grasp to stand at attention, a move Olivia and Elliot matched.
As he approached, Olivia noted that Cragen had on his suit jacket, a light gray that was one of the expensive ones he'd been wearing recently, with his blue silk tie pulled neatly to his neck.
He's ready to leave... can't he stick around and help us get through one lousy shift?
The captain came to a halt and glared at each of them in turn, starting with Lynde and ending with Stabler. Although his face was florid and his fists tight, his words were precisely spoken and sharp with anger.
"What the hell is going on here?"
Olivia glanced at Sue, whose blank expression showed she wasn't about to speak up. The deep-seated disgust emanating from Elliot, all of it aimed at Cragen, told her that he wanted nothing to do with his CO. She caught Fin's gaze only to have him look away.
They're ready to stand mute and let this fester... closing ranks against the brass—but Cragen's never been that kind of brass... it's time someone reminded him of that....
Without checking for either Fin's or Elliot's approval, she moved from behind Lynde to the front of the foursome.
"We're wondering what happened today. We know John and Judith and it's hard to believe they did what Sue says she saw."
Although she had chosen her words very carefully, but sound of shoes scuffing the linoleum behind her warned that at least one person wanted to get as far from her as possible. Cragen's dark gaze, now aimed at her, seemed to sap the warmth from her bones.
Shit... I'm in for it now....
"My office, Benson," he said, confirming her fear. "The rest of you—this ends here. Not one more word about it for any reason. Am I understood?"
The chorus of "Yes, sir" from behind Olivia must have satisfied him because the captain held his arm out, an invitation for her to proceed him to his office. Olivia wasted no time heading down the hall and through the double doors to the squadroom.
No sign of John or Judith... now I wish I'd called Howie back and found out what the rats were doing with them....
She waited in front of Cragen's desk while he shut the door. Instead of taking his seat, he remained by the door, his hand on its knob as though ready to leave again.
"So, that was a friendly discussion about whether Detective Lynde is a liar or not?"
The flat, hard tone of his voice finished chilling her.
He usually uses understatement to defuse a situation... ironic humor with a twinkle in his eyes to let us know we're wrong, but he understands... but not this time...
"No, sir," she replied, choosing discretion over honestly. "I know Sue too well to call her a liar."
The two seconds it took him to weigh her answer drove the lesson home.
Fin's right... taking on Sullivan affected all of us, but it warped Cragen beyond recognition....
"That discussion is over," he told her. You and Howie will run the shift meeting. Call me for emergencies."
He indicated the interview room adjoining his office with a flick of his hand.
"Right now, Munch and Otten are in the crib. Have everyone ignore them—no conversation, no assistance, no nothing."
The info caught her off-guard, but she held herself in check.
"We're shunning them?
"That's as good a word for it as any. If you see either of them without the other, let me know."
She barely had time to say "Yes, sir" before he was out the door. Through the Venetian blinds, she saw him head through the outer door and down the hall without a word to anyone.
Olivia slumped against the wall behind her, a move that jarred the photos and memorabilia hung upon it.
He left here like a bat out of hell... like he hates this place... hates it and us....
For the first time since she joined the unit, Olivia realized that something could drive her to transfer.
The job is hard enough with a good CO's support... if Cragen doesn't get that promotion—if he's stuck here forever... then I'm out of here... no way I'll keep serving under him like this....